Sunday, 12 June 2016

operation occupation

So there's a bit of a battle going on at my house and believe it or not, it has nothing to do with the nip.

Now that's not to say that some of the cats involved in the um...  operation weren't nipped at the time of committing the occupation, and it's also not to say that some of those same cats, involved with said occupation, weren't thinkin' about nip and nipping at the time of the operation but none of the cats involved in the actual operation, seeking said occupation, were seeking the occupation of nip, itself. 

Now back to the occupation.  I mean, operation.  No, I mean operation involving an occupation.  MOUSES!

My gosh, I'm even confusing myself. MOUSES!

So here's the thing.  You've all heard of the Occupy Wall Street movement, right?  You all know 'bout that?

Well this here has nothing to do with that.  MOUSES!

We cats have no interest in occupying a street 'cause we much prefer living in a house with a couple of servants...  I mean, peeps.  You know, peeps to wait on us paw and foot.

Anyway, we've been having some troubles with the peeps, as of late.  Troubles with peeps getting too big for their britches and stuff.

No, neither peep burst the seams of their pants.  I speak, my friends, of metaphorical britches and you can be assured of that 'cause if those britches weren't metaphorical?  If one of my peeps were to actually burst through their britches?  Well I'd be blogging 'bout THAT, for sure.  MOUSES!

But back to my troubles with the peeps.

I remember the time, way back when, when Peep #1 sat on the family room floor so as not to disturb a couple of kitties sleeping on the couch.  I remember it like it was yesterday only it wasn't yesterday 'cause yesterday, we cats were having some serious problems with said peep.  Serious problems with said peep and the family room couch.  MOUSES!

First came the complaints.

Apparently, one chesterfield - aka couch and not aka some guy name Chester lying in a field - is not big enough for two peeps and a cat. 

Now I know what you're thinking.  You're thinkin', that's 'cause the peeps are getting too big for their britches and are now too big for the couch but remember, the britches are metaphorical britches. The couch, my friends, is real.  MOUSES!

But back to those complaints.  Peep #2 was the first to point out that my sister Mason was lying on the couch in such a way as to occupy more than half of said couch, leaving less than half for both peeps.  For some strange reason, the second peep took issue with this.

I was quick to point out that Mason required at least half of the couch in order to stretch out fully. Anything less and she wouldn't be able to get in a full stretch.  I also pointed out that the peeps were lucky to get as much couch as they had for had it been Anderson lyin' on that there couch, he would have needed even more space.  Andy's a very big boy, you see.  It's that Coon blood in him, I am sure.

Now you would think that the peeps would be grateful for the little couch they had left after I so eloquently explained Mason's need for her plus fifty percent but, well you know peeps.

That's when Peep #1 gently hauled Mason closer to her, leaving more space for Peep #2.

You're probably wondering how one can be hauled, gently, and you'd be correct to wonder 'bout that 'cause quite frankly, YOU CAN'T!  Gently hauling...  MOUSES!

Mason stayed on the couch for a full three minutes before hopping down and calling us cats together for a meeting.

After the discussion, my sister Tobias decided to do a little intel.  She hopped onto the couch and lay down between the two peeps.

Now Toby is a little girl.  Only kitten-sized, really, although actually full-grown.  Doesn't take up much space, even while stretching and in this instance, she was curled up almost into a ball, so the space she was occupying was minimal, at best.

So Toby had a little nap there on the couch.  She fell fast asleep but shortly after dreaming of nip mice, she awoke with a start to find herself lying...  lying...  LYING...  LYING ON THE FLOOR. MOUSES!

No one knows exactly how Toby ended up on the floor although I did hear some wild accusations 'bout peeps putting her there, but the peeps both claim she actually rolled off the edge of the couch all by herself.

Tobias, of course, does not remember rolling off the couch  - you know, on account of her being asleep - although she says she vaguely remembers dreaming 'bout chasing a nip-mouse off a low cliff.

But even if she did roll off the couch all on own, the fact of the matter is, the peeps were right there, should have noticed her rolling and caught her mid-air.  MOUSES!

So that, my friends, was when my fur-sibs and I decided we must take matters into our own paws and....  and...  AND...  AND OPERATION OCCUPATION WAS BORN.  MOUSES!

Unlike Occupation Wall Street, this is a full-fledged operation and not a movement, but more importantly, we're planning on occupying, not a street, but rather, the couch.  MOUSES!

Our first plan of attack occurred this morning.  Peep #1 sat down on the couch in question to check on the weather on TV, then decided to get up to grab a cup of coffee.  Well the moment she was up, Mason hopped onto the couch, exactly where the peep had been sitting, and stretched out as far as she could stretch, from the tip of her tail to the ends of her whiskers.  Peep came back to find her favourite spot on the couch, occupied.

The second plan of attack occurred...
Well truth be told, we haven't got that far yet.  We cats sort of got side-tracked discussing some nip.

But rest assured, you have not heard the last of Operation Occupation: Occupy Couch.  By the time it is done, we'll have both peeps sittin' on the floor and we cats will have complete control of the couch.

Of course, when that does happen, my fur-sibs and I will likely end up fighting over all the best couch spots among ourselves.  MOUSES!


23 comments:

  1. Hey Seville - here at my house the Chesterfield is called the couch...sometimes sofa. I guess it's all the same thing. For about a year we went without one of those things. Dad sold it at a yard sale when Mom wasn't paying attention, and next thing we knew...we had a big huge hole in our living room where the Chesterfield/couch/sofa used to be.

    But that's not the problem anymore. Mom bought a huge sofa, 8 feet long. Long enough for her to lie in while her foot is hurting, and room for me to lie on top of Mom - my rightful place. And room for Peaches to lie on top of Mom, but not where I'm lying. And room for Gidget to sprawl along the back of the sofa, and for Opie and Frank to sprawl at the other end of the sofa...

    No room for Dad though. He lies on the floor. Maybe you might suggest to the Peep's that sometimes floors can be just as comfortapurr as Chesterfields.

    Just saying... Purrs! Herman!!!

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    1. Your dad sold your chesterfield at a yard sale without your mum knowin'? MOUSES!

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    2. I never even knew that was possible. purrs

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  2. Dang, I must be ahead of the game Seville. I've been on the couch almost all day and no complaint from either of the peeps. Mom is sitting in a chair and Dad is on the floor!

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    1. You have trained your peeps well, my friend. Trained them super well! purrs

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  3. Good luck with dat Seville. We don;t have a couch fur me to occupy, and mommy insists on havin' her chair when she wants to sit down. She's been known to pick up and move a kitty dat be in her seat. Da nerve. So me knows where ya' be comin' from. And good luck me says.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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  4. Phht. All these humans and their "sharing" selfishness. Hmph. We take our rightful place. End of story. ~Bear Cat

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    1. You said it, sister! Took the words right out of my mouth. MOUSES!

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  5. Honestly, our couch is really pretty uncomfortable - my human bought it for its looks, not for its usability. So we're really not into occupying it much.

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    1. Bought a sofa for its looks? It must look pretty good, huh? Don't suppose your human ever covers it with towels and stuff, huh? My peeps do that a lot. Oh my mouses! I should blog about that!!! Thanks so much for the inspiration, Summer. purrs

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  6. I agree - I'd much rather occupy da couch dan a street.

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    1. Seriously. We cats know where it's at... unlike da peeps. MOUSES!

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  7. Occupation is nine ninths of the law in this Palace. Only solution is like making tea, namely one sofa per cat then one extra for the peeps. purrs from your pal, ERin (TCP)

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  8. I occupy the arm of the sofa when Mommy is watching TV. But the bed is another story. Both of us occupy the bed and Mommy can't get in it!

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps Occupy Bed will be my next mission. MOUSES!

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  9. Good luck with that! Our couch isn't terribly comfortable on account of it being some kind of slippery, pleather stuff that was *supposed to have* kept anyone (named Miss Newton) from sharpening their nails but failed miserably. Hey, if your Operation Occupation goes as planned, maybe we'll start scratching up our couch real good like and our peeps will have little choice but to buy a new one, one we could take over like you are taking over yours! It just might work!

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    Replies
    1. Yup, first take it over and then sell it on E-bay. MOUSES!

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  10. What is wrong with your peeps- I am sure there is lots of room on the floor for them :)

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  11. Hey, I sympathize, but we don't even have a couch, sofa, or a chesterfield! Just my chair. MY chair which I sometimes let my Mommy sit in. Sometimes.
    But good luck with the Occupation! We are with you in spirit!

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    1. That's very nice of you, Quinn, to allow your mum to share YOUR chair. Very nice of you, indeed. purrs

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