Sunday, 22 May 2016

tailgate

"Come on Mason.  Get with with the program, would you?  Get over here, NOW!"

"Don't give me that ol' you-can't-get-past-the-long-haired-marmies routine.  We all know you growl at 'em daily, just for fun."

"Plus, Andy doesn't even have long hair any more.  Not since he got that ol' lion cut.  Peep says it'll grow back eventually. It hasn't yet but..."

"...But what am I talking about?  I don't care if Andy's fur grows back quickly or slowly or even at all.  All I care about right now are those new treats the peep is about to give out.  But she's not giving anyone anything until we're all here in the kitchen. Mason...  COME ON!"

"Well just give 'em the smacky paws like you usually do."

"What's that, Mason?  You say it's not that you can't get past those two brothers of ours because you're scared of 'em but rather, because they're blocking your path?  You say that the doorway between the family room and the kitchen is only so wide and Anderson and Rushton are taking up the entire space?"

"Mason, I know those two long-haired -  I mean, one long-haired and one formerly long-haired on account of his lion cut - boys are big on account of their both being part Coon, but they're not that big.  There's enough room for you to pass between 'em, for sure.  Stop playing games and get in here so the peep will give us our treats."

"Oh, I see..."

"So let me get this straight.  Every time you move to the right to pass, they move to the right, too? And every time you move to the left to pass, they move to the left, too?  And every time you try to pass between 'em, they get up close and personal with one another and you can't get through? MOUSES!"

"Well try jumpin' over them, then.  I've seen you jump over other cats before."

"They did what?  You tried to jump over them and they jumped, too?  To tell you the truth, I didn't know those two boys had it in 'em to jump like that.  MOUSES!"

"Ooohhhh....  Ooohhhh....  OOOHHHH...  The treat bag is being shaken but there are no treats coming out.  Not until we're all here in the kitchen.   Come on, Mason.  Come on in here and sit down."

"For mousin' out loud.  I've had enough of this ol' moused-up tomfoolery and mischief.  Enough is enough and I've had enough of it up to my ears.  The very tips of my ears, for sure. MOUSES!"

And with that, I stomped over to the family room door, walked between Rushton and Andy and grabbed Mason by a paw.  Pulling her forward, I spun on my hind legs and accidentally swiped Tess with my tail.  "Sorry Tess, didn't mean to..." I began.

"Seville assaulted me with his tail!" I heard Tess cry to the peep before she staggered backwards, flopping down on her back like that Lebron guy after takin' an elbow to the face.

"But it was an accident!" I wailed.  "An accident, pure and simple.  I didn't mean to swipe Tess with my tail and I certainly didn't mean to hurt her and truth be told, I don't really think I did.  I mean, my tail just kind of brushed against her and she's one to talk about tails.  She's constantly tripping you peeps up with hers and..."

"What's that, Peepers?  You say I shouldn't have gone off in a rage and grabbed hold of Mason by the paw?"

"BUT SHE NEEDED MY HELP!"

"Peepers, did you not see how those part-Coon marmies were blocking her path?"

"You say that none of this would have happened had I not done what I did?  Well, yeah, but Mason would still be stuck in the family room and we'd still have no treats and come to think of it, we still don't have any treats so what's up with that, Peepers?  We're all here now.  How 'bout dishing out the treats?"

"But I already did apologize.  You heard me.  I said I was sorry to Tess right away."

"And I'm not apologizing to those other two 'cause I know that you know, they were up to no good," and I winked at the peep, knowing she would know exactly what I meant 'cause those two long-haired marmie boys are always wreaking havoc like only long-haired marmie boys can do.  Strange how even with his lion cut, Andy still has the knack for doing such things.

At that very moment, Tess came up to me and gave me a hug.

Okay, maybe there was no hug.  Perhaps that was a tad of an exaggeration on my part but she was within a paw's reach and she didn't growl at me or anything and that, my friends, is saying a lot.

"It's okay, Seville," I heard Tess say.  "I know you didn't mean to hurt me.  I know your swiping me with your tail was purely accidental.  I FORGIVE YOU, not that there was really anything done needing forgiveness in the first place.  And Seville?  I love you because you're my brother and so very intelligent and helpful and kind and..."
Okay, perhaps she stopped right after saying she forgave me.  I might have added the last little bit myself.

"So Peepers, now that that's all settled, you think you can dish out those treats?  Getting the treats was the whole point of this here little exercise, was it not?"

The peep then acquiesced and we all chowed down on some treats which were super yummy and delicious and, I believe, flavoured with cheese. MOUSES!

                                      *****************************************

Disclaimer:  The incident now and forever known around the world as 'Tailgate' may or may not have happened exactly as described above.  Literary license may or may not have been taken but if taken, it was done purely by accident, with no harm intended.  MOUSES!

                                      *****************************************

And remember to leave a comment on my blog post "out of the batter bowl" by May 29th, for your chance to win an autographed copy of Linda Reilly's book, Out of the Dying Pan.  It's a great book. You'll wanna read it, for sure.  Purrs.

50 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks so much! Same kinda thing has been happening all over the place. Wonder if those peeps got treats in the end, too. purrs

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  2. Wow, what you have to do just to get a treat or two!

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  3. Phew! It's hard work getting those treats passed around at your place.

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    1. It sure is. With six of us here, you don't wanna miss out on the treats, for sure. purrs

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  4. Hmmm... I'm not quite sure what to believe. Tess seems to be okay, though, so all is forgiven. And you got your treats, which is the important part!

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    1. Exactly. We all got our treats which is MOST IMPORTANT, for sure. purrs

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  5. That was some tailgate tale fur sure and it all worked out in the end MOL!

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    1. But was it a tale or just a reporting of someone's wayward tail or will we ever really know? purrs

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  6. Geez, treat time around your house is really a process, isn't it, Seville?

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    1. It sure is. A bag of treats divided six ways only goes so far, you see. purrs

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  7. Well me's just glad all is well and ya'll got some yummy nummy treats. MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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  8. Wow. Who knew so much fur could fly over cat treats! Oh, Bear just told me that you NEVER mess with a cat's treats. NEVER. Unless you want all kinds of cat up in your tail. How could I POSSIBLY have forgotten?!?!

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    1. Yup, messing with the treats is a criminal offence, for sure. MOUSES!

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  9. "...she staggered backwards, flopping down on her back like that Lebron guy after takin' an elbow to the face." MOL!

    Glad you all got treats in the end. That's the important part, right?

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    1. Yeah, I saw that on television and thought to myself.... TESS!!! purrs

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  10. Hmm if this had been peeps. there would be whiplash claims and counter claims., and it would all have been settled for a hand full of treats, which no doubt the lawyers would have got.... Marmie Bros. aren't attorneys by any chance? purrs Erin

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    1. And all the political pundits would be gettin' involved, too!

      No, those brothers of mine aren't attorneys. They might NEED attorneys but they're not attorneys themselves, for sure. purrs

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  11. That is quite a big job to get to the head peep to get your treats but glad everyone finally got some. Those tails are so hard to control.

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    1. They are! They swish this way and that, getting out of paw, for sure. MOUSES!

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  12. Having the requirement to ALLLLL be present before treat distribution is made can probably be quite difficult in a multi-cat household.....incidents such as "tailgate" are bound to occur. I think extra treats are called for in that case!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. I think so too! We need to renegotiate the treat clause in our contract, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. Hehe. They are making a big deal about that elbow in Ottawa, aren't they?

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    1. They sure are! Looked like an accident, to me. MOUSES!

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  14. So much drama! But treats are totally worth it, right?
    Mickey Mouser and Rufus the Red definitely think so...

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    1. Yup, treats are ALWAYS worth it, for sure. purrs

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  15. Wowwzers! Seville, thanks yous for reminding mes the hassle of living with siblings! Mes LOVES being a only kitty (and now mes old, mes gets treats whenever mes wants!!!)
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. You get treats WHENEVER you want? Ever lucky! I hope that one day I'll get treats like that, too. purrs

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  16. It sounds like Tess might be nominated for a Academy Award for that purrformance. ;)

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    1. She just might! She is a pretty dramatic kitty, for sure. purrs

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  17. It never pays to mess with the treats!
    Have a wonderful week...

    Noodle and crew

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  18. We're glad that you kitties didn't spend days fussing about the tailgate ....you would have missed out on the treats! Kitties are SOOOO much smarter than politicians and the media.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. You got THAT right! We're WAY smarter. That's why, one day, we kitties shall rule the world. Bwahahahahahahahahaha.......

      And MOUSES!

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  19. Tailgate, I like that. I hoe there wasn't real cheese in those treats- you know what happens when you have cheese. :)

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    1. It's true. Cheese does it to me EVERY time. MOUSES!

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  20. Have to say you all got very mean and if don't feel like passing any to your guests it might be a good idea for you all to remember we might not feel like passing any treats back to you.

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    1. Well she wasn't a guest. Tess is just my sister! purrs

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  21. Whew, that was a lot of hard work for those treats. I hope they were worth it, Seville. Purrs, and happy snacking!

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  22. MOL Seville the things we mancats have to go through to a get a little bit of deliciousness is quite ridiculous! I feel your pain, and after what happened at our house last Saturday with Piggy aka Smoochie Sir Hog'a'Lot and the treat NOM'a'THON, well let's just say - nuff said! Purrs Basil xox

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    1. 'Nuff said, for sure! Smoochie has a knighthood now? Sweet.

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  23. What an interesting tale of tailgating! MOL

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    1. Yup, I'm expecting there to be a trending hashtag 'bout it any day now. purrs

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  24. The best part is that you all got treats at the end ! Purrs

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  25. Why I always knew that Tess had such acting ability. Surely she up for next year's AA? After all she will add some species differentiation and a bit of color difference, right?

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    1. Hmmm... Academy Awards or the Oscars or maybe even both! purrs

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