Wednesday, 25 November 2015

WHY?

Why?  WHY?  Why would anyone do that? WHY???

As you might imagine, there is only one word for this situation and that word is, MOUSES!

Okay, two words. Mouses and why.

I think we've all seen the latest Internet craze.  The latest Internet craze that has out-crazed every other crazy craze out there.  You know the one. The one where peeps scare cats with cucumbers.  It's a craze and it's crazy, too, because...  Well just because it is.  Crazy as...  Truth be told, I'm not sure anything else compares.  Like I kind of implied, it's the craziest craze of all time.  MOUSES!

First of all, why?  Yeah, I know, I'm having a tough time getting past the ol' why.

Why would anyone even want to scare their cats?  I mean, these are otherwise reasonable and sensible peeps who live with cats whom they supposedly love and yet, they're out there, scaring them.  On purpose.  And getting it on video, too!  MOUSES!

Let me tell you something.  If my peeps were ever to wake up one morning and say to themselves, I think I'll scare Seville today and get it on tape...  Well let's just say, that might be the last time my peeps would ever be waking up.  MOUSES!

Perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration.  I mean, I love my peeps so I would never do them any real harm.  Never any real harm.  But they might start finding deposits of poop left in their shoes.  Just saying...

And they would deserve NOTHIN' less, I can assure you.  MOUSES!

But after asking why, we have to ask, how.  HOW?

Believe it or not, there are peeps out there, right now, as we speak, trying to figure out how these devious cucumber criminal masterminds are scaring us cats but that is not the how to which I am referring.

I don't wanna know how a cucumber might scare me.  I wanna know how someone figured that out in the first place!  I mean, HOW?

Duh, I don't know...  I found this cucumber in the fridge.  What should I do with it?  Should I put it in my salad or...  Oohhh....  I'll see if it will scare the cat!

MOUSES!

I'm telling you, only a peep can think like that.

It...  It...  It...  It's not like the cucumbers just happened upon the cats' food dishes or their sleeping quarters or their toy boxes and lay down beside them, all by themselves.

Seriously, how many peeps out there leave spare cucumbers lying about on their kitchen floor?   Is this something some peeps do?  Is this some sort of weird tradition?

Hmmm...  I bought this case of cucumbers at the market today and have no idea what I should do with it.  Maybe I'll start flinging cucumbers all over the house.  See where the chips - I mean, cucumbers - might fall.  Yeah, that's what I'll do.  Sounds like a fun afternoon.

Again I must say, MOUSES!

Somewhere along the line, the initial cucumbers came in contact with the cats and I'm betting my whiskers that there was peep involvement in the first introductions.

No cat has ever gone lookin' to pick a fight with a cucumber, I can assure you.  MOUSES!

And why cucumbers?  How do cats feel about tomatoes and eggplants and bell peppers, too?  Do they scare us?  Does anyone know?  Does anyone care?  MOUSES!

And why are we concerning ourselves only with fruits in disguise?  Fruits that masquerade themselves as veggies?  I once saw a mean-looking potato.  That thing had twenty-nine eyes.

And then there was that mutated two-headed cabbage....

MOUSES!

AND WHAT ABOUT PICKLES?

That's right, my friends, pickles.  As we all know, pickles are baby cucumbers, imprisoned in glass jars after being drowned in a brine.  And it's not we cats doing this to the baby cucumbers.  It's the peeps doing it, for sure.  So why are the cucumbers participating in the scaring of cats and not in the scaring of peeps?   MOUSES!

And as a cat, would I be scared of a jar of baby cucumbers otherwise known as pickles?

One will never know, my friends, because my peeps are good peeps. My peeps don't go around intentionally looking for things that will scare me. My peeps would never dream of doing anything like that.  And why?

Because I know where my peeps keep their shoes and like I said earlier, I'm not above leaving a little deposit in those shoes as punishment for bad behaviour, if they should ever dream of behaving so badly as to go out of their way to scare me.  MOUSES!

39 comments:

  1. Peep & I saw this and could not believe our eyes! We can only think said cats thought it was a VERY short snake! but how many would have seen a snake to know?

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    1. I've seen a few snakes in my time but apart from being green, they look nothing like cucumbers. Maybe there are cucumber snakes? purrs

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  2. MOL, I guess I'm lucky my momma doesn't have a lotta vegetables round here.

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    1. You most certainly are! No cat has ever been scared by a strip of bacon, right? purrs

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  3. dood...ya noe for de most part....we....we meenin uz catz....uz cats bee in a collective...knot just uz trouterz....we catz... due KNOT feer spiderz....

    frank lee wee think all catz....all catz in de entire werld..... knead ta form a plan, wear bye we get sum spiderz...dead ore a live.........de larger de better...

    N place em next two de faces oh de peepz........ WHILE THEY SLEEP...sew when they WAKE UP

    ~~~~~~ yea.....

    happee week oh end dood ~~~~~~~ ♥♥♥

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    1. OH MY MOUSES! That is THE BEST idea I have heard of... EVER. purrs

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  4. I don't understand it either and scaring us on purpose is just rude!

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  5. Sounds like you have vegetable issues...

    Noodle and crew

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  6. Yes, Seville, MOUSES! Why would humans intentionally try to scare their cats? For some reason, they find it humorous. I sure hope all those shoes have little deposits!

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    1. And watching the peeps when they discover those deposits will be VERY HUMOROUS, for sure. MOUSES!

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  7. My human was furious about those cucumber videos too. She even wrote about it in her CatChannel.com column. Although maybe not as eloquently as you, Seville.

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    1. Awww... shucks, Summer. You're making me blush. PURRS

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  8. Want some help in leaving Deposits in shoes?we Buns have great aim...hehehe,xx Speedy

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    1. You bet! Maybe we could start up a business or something. purrs

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    2. A business involving us doing our business!!! PRICELESS. purrs

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  9. Yes I have seen that!!! I was wondering how the heck someone could possibly come up with something like that too!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. It is DEFINITELY something to wonder about, for sure. MOUSES!

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  10. The humans that do this are so mean.

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    1. They most certainly are. And they deserve every little shoe prezzie they might happen to find. MOUSES!

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  11. Those "funny" videos with cucumbers are just stupid... Purrs

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    1. Yup, stupid is an EXCELLENT word for them, for sure. MOUSES!

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  12. I think it would be awful to scare a kitty with a cucumber or anything. I feel bad when I have to vacuum because I know it scares Phoebe- just for her, I rarely do vacuum :)

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    1. I know! We cats have enough to scare us, already. You ever seen my Peep #1's hair first thing in the morning? Scarier than a whole crate of cucumbers, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. Beans can be so stupid. We're glad your peeps and our mom bean aren't that kind of dumb Seville.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  14. We saw this, too, Seville, and think it's just rude and mean. Why, indeed, would anybuddy do such a thing to us kitties?

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    1. It's takes a super sick mind to come up with scaring kitties with cucumbers, for sure. purrs

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  15. We will not watch videos of nasty peeps getting pleasure from scaring any animal. It is cruel teasing

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    1. Absolutely and VERY GOOD for you! Movies like these should be banned. MOUSES!

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  16. I am baffled with human stupidity. I ean why bother eh? This is SO. Not. Funny.

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    1. Yup, human stupidity at it's finest, for sure. MOUSES!

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  17. We don't know why anyone would want to scare us....but, on the other paw, we're not afraid of cucumbers.

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. Considering what peeps do those cucumbers, peeling 'em and slicing 'em up and stuff, you'd think the cucumbers would revolt or something. MOUSES!

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  18. I'm not scared of cumcumbers for as long as they don't go living their own lives...but people who want to scare us with it, don't even deserve the name of a cumcumber...if you know what I mean, Seville! Extra Pawkisses for strenghts :) <3

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