Wednesday, 16 May 2012

a bug, a cat, two vets with new careers...

The following is a true story, told to me by my peeps.  My Auntie Primrose denies every word.

It all started with a bug.  At first, no one knew of the bug's involvement.  All the peeps knew was that my Auntie Primrose had a sore paw.  A very sore paw.  She wouldn't put her weight on it or anything.  Not even a little bit.  So, off they all went to see the doctor.  

As soon as they got to the doctor's office, the first thing Auntie Primrose did was position herself in the middle of the waiting room floor.  She kind of perched herself up so that she was almost standing on two legs.  Yup...  that's right...  you saw that one coming...  she pooped right there in the middle of the floor.  The peeps saw it coming, too.  So did everyone else in the waiting room.  The doctor saw it when he poked his head around the corner.  Then he came in and cleaned it all up.

After that, the doctor - and we'll call him Dr. #1, to keep his identity a secret and protect his pride - saw Primrose right away.  He looked her all over, examining the paw very carefully.  "She has been bitten by a bug," said he.  "She'll be fine."  Peep said he prescribed some sort of children's allergy medication just in case...  but he was right...  she was fine...  for a while...

A week or so later, my Auntie Primrose stopped eating.  She didn't want to drink, either.  And she kept doing this funny thing with her mouth like there was something caught in her throat.  The peep cried out, "Oh no!  She has swallowed a piece of yarn or an elastic or something else evil and treacherous."  Yeah, I know it sounds a little melodramatic but I'm only repeating what the peep told me.  This all happened years ago.  Anyway, the peeps were really worried.  They always try to keep evil and treacherous things out of our reach but you never know...  we're pretty clever when it comes to finding stuff.  So, off everyone went to the vet again.

The first thing they noticed at the clinic was that there was no Dr. #1 anymore.  He had left.  Gone to work with the Department of Fisheries or something like that.  Yeah, he took a job looking after fish!  Why do fish need doctors?  I would think think they'd be more likely to need a cook.  I mean, that is what's needed when preparing dinner, is it not?

So this time, my auntie was seen by another doctor and we'll this one Dr. #2, in order to protect her identity.  Dr. #2 looked in my auntie's file and said, "She must have eaten that bug."  Apparently, when swallowing the bug, its exoskeleton scratched the lining of my auntie's throat and caused a bit of an infection.  So, of course, antibiotics were prescribed.  Peep #1 was quick to point out that if Primrose refused to eat, there was no way she was gonna be able to pill her.  That's when the doctor suggested a shot.

Well, the needle went into a muscle and apparently, it hurt...  A LOT!  There were cries and howls and peep #2 - the coward - fled the exam room crying, "I can't deal with this!".  Next thing peep #1 knew, my Auntie Primrose was on her head.  And since the peep's head is rounded at the top, Primrose had to dig in with all claws so as not to fall off.  There was peep #1, standing in the middle of the room with a cat perched on her head and blood dripping down her face.  Don't worry, it was just the peep's blood...  not my auntie's.

Around this time, another doctor arrived to help.  Well, I guess Primrose didn't like the look of two doctors in one room 'cause she took a flying leap from the peep's head right across the room to a counter top where she hissed and spit and did what any self-respecting cat will do when scared...  poop.

It must have all been was too much for the doctors, 'cause they both left the room to give Primrose a chance to calm down.  For the rest of the afternoon, they saw all their patients in the operating room  - or someplace silly like that - 'cause the exam room was occupied by the peep and my auntie.  Eventually though, Primrose was okay and let the peep pick her up and everybody went home.

But do you know what?  The next time they went to the doctor's office, Dr. #2 was gone, too.  She had up and left.  Uh huh.  Left to go back to school to learn more about birds.  Again, I ask...  why do birds need doctors?  Why are all these doctors wanting to look after my dinner?  I don't understand this one bit.  Makes no sense to me!

43 comments:

  1. Sounds like your Auntie Primrose is very much in control. WE sure hope she got all better. Must have been a tough bug and a very bad bug. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That made our Mum laugh - she says she was so pleased it wasn't one of us!!
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well that doesn't sound like any fun at all for your Auntie!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nerissa,
    With due respect to your aunt, your peeps and the vets.....This is HILARIOUS!!!! purrr...meow!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh boy! This is HILARIOUS!!! The poor vets had to seek solace in fishes and birds, eh? purrr...meow!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Goodness! Primrose just plain put those vets right out of the cat vetting business, didn't she? I hope they are taking good care of your dinner (er, the fishies and birds!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sounds to me like Primrose scared all the vets away!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow - Auntie Primrose is our hero!!! (except for the bug eatin part)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Glogirly is cracking up over here. I don't understand how she can laugh as such a harrowing experience. And I'm with you...sounds like Dr 1 and Dr 2 would be better served going to the Institute of Cordon Bleu.

    ...GREAT story.
    ; ) Katie & Glogirly

    ReplyDelete
  10. WE LOVE your Auntie Primrose! She's hilarious! Mommy is STILL laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sounds to me like your Auntie Primrose was the Supreme Puppermaster and everyone danced to her tune. Probably wasn't getting enough attention. I do stuff when I don't get enough attention. Like shake my floofy tail at the wall. Everyone stops and looks at me. They are fearful I may be peeing on wall, and when they see I'm not (cuz I don't do stuff like that...much...)they are so happy, they pick me up and cuddle me. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh I'm sure that Auntie Primrose had NOTHING to do with them vets leaving... and besides, if she did, then they needed to be gone anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A first rate escapade in Primrose's career!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jumping cat fish that Vet Clinic had a revolving door....but thank goodness Auntie is better. Tell her not to take the departures personally for in our opinion it was Vet #1 and 2's loss for not having her as a patient.
    Hugs Madi

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow, I am very impressed by Auntie Primrose! I hope she eventually recovered from whatever was ailing her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup. The antibiotics cleared that ol' infection right up. Auntie Primrose celebrated her 15th birthday this past March!

      Delete
  16. This made me smile - poor Primrose and poor vet's no wonder they went away, they didn't know enough!

    ReplyDelete
  17. That Aunty Primrose has the right idea!!

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm laughing hysterically over this even tho it shouldn't be funny. But it is funny. Poor peeps, and poor Auntie. Well, the vets should get used to it because I'm sure it not the first scared cat they have had to treat and it won't be the last either.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh my -- that is some cat tail!
    hehehehe we do trust that Auntie Primrose was OK and that after her meds she was fine.
    What a story.
    purrs
    >^,,^<
    ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mieow indeedie dat waz a furst rate tale!!!! ^..^ We glad your Auntie survived it all :) Az fur da 2 V E T Z ,,,,, dat'z thinz dat make you go ::hummmmmmm:: ^..^

    ♥♥xoxoxoxo♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hilarious! But I enjoyed the tale! Thanks so much!

    Riya

    ReplyDelete
  22. Awww but is Auntie Primrose ok now? Is she eating ok? Awww we hope so!! We think Auntie Primrose helped vets nos. 1&2 by showing them the true path of their future careers! Yay! :-) Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes... Auntie Primrose is fine. In fact, she turned 15 in March of this year! This whole bug thing happened several years ago but it was such a good story I just had to tell it. We don't go to that doctor's clinic anymore but that was only 'cause it moved and it's too far away now. One day, I'll tell everyone about what happened a couple of years after this incident. The peeps still refer to this second incident as, "bloody Wednesday." Stay tuned...

      Delete
  23. that is all quite scary!And to think that Auntie Primrose made them quit their job! MOL!!
    Cody ate a bug the other day...now I am nervous!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Primrose...it's fairly clear to us that you scared the poop out of those vets and they fled ... never to be heard from again.... :p


    the critters in The Cottage xo

    ReplyDelete
  25. Auntie Primrose really knew how to keep the vets away from her privates huh?! But what a slap in the face for the docs to leave to take care of floppy wet damp fish and flighty, chirpy birds! They should have gone to cooking school to learn how to serve those babies up to us carnivores as raw food...ohhh...errr.umm..did I go too far...sorry

    ReplyDelete
  26. What a scary story! And all through it my Mommy had to quit reading because she was laughing! Don't worry, me whapped her!
    Kisses
    Nellie

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is one damn fine story! worthy of like Mark Twain or sumHuman, ha ha meow. We lubz Auntie!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Very strange that all these doctors left to look after food.... But I guess it's good to have healthy food.

    ReplyDelete
  29. What a great story. We can't believe both those vets took jobs that should have belonged to a cook!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Wow what a story! Poor Auntie Primrose - it sure sounds like Vets #1 & 2 probably made a GOOD career move though. :D

    Kitty Hugs (and YAY for Auntie Primrose)
    Sammy

    ReplyDelete
  31. YOu have made my mommy's day with this story..me? I fink it's all quite par for the course and I have NO idea what is making mom smile like that. Humans have no sense of decorum whatsoever. Poor Auntie Primrose.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Great story !
    I have laughed my whiskers off :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Great story, but somewhat open ended. I have to know. How is the traumatized patient now? Hopefully better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's fine! All this actually happened several years ago. That's why I needed the peep's help with the details. But my auntie still hates going to the doctor. Just wait until you hear about what the peeps refer to as "Bloody Wednesday." I'll write about it in a future post... promise.

      Delete
  34. Fantastic post.... MOL... the boys are laughing too. Good for Auntie Primrose for keeping everybuddy on their toes.

    Have a super weekend.

    pawhugs, Max

    ReplyDelete
  35. we hope that dear Max is well now fully! and as for those Doctors... haven't they heard about - sticking in there... seeing something through... commitment to cat care over time? Love Helen, Darcy and Bingley xxx

    ReplyDelete
  36. OK so, so long to doctores #1 and #2
    My Vickie is laughing so much her eyes are leaking.

    Bert

    ReplyDelete
  37. Usually vet appointments are more stressful for the cat than for the vets... Go Auntie Primrose!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Bloody Wednesday? OMC, I can't WAIT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  39. That's a funny story now, but I bet it didn't seem funny at the time!

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...