Sunday, 22 January 2017

did you hear?

Oh my mouses!

OH MY MOUSES!

Did you hear?

Accordin' to the CBC, the Canada Revenue Agency is now creepin' around Facebook, lookin' to see if peeps are payin' their income tax.

On everyone's mind is... HOW IS THIS GONNA AFFECT ME?

Scratch that.

On everyone's mind is...  HOW IS THIS GONNA AFFECT SEVILLE THE CAT?

I mean, am I, Seville the Cat, gonna have to stop postin' about my investment fund?  You know the one.  My froggy bank.  The froggy bank where I keep my money.  You know, the money I'm savin' up to invest in nip futures and the like.

There could be CRA peeps searchin' Facebook right now.  Searchin' and searchin' and SEARCHIN', lookin' to see if I'm payin' my taxes.  If I'm makin' a little money on the side.  If I'm spendin' more on nip than I've declared that I've even earned.

And if these CRA peeps are goin' around, readin' my page...

Well I sure do hope they take the time to paw me a like.  MOUSES!

Hmmm...

Just to be on the safe side, I had best make up some alternative facts.

I mean, dig up some dirt...

No, I mean, spread a few...

I mean...

Oh what the mouses.  I'm not sure WHAT I mean!  MOUSES!

Hmmm....

Of course, everyone is up in arms 'bout all this stuff. Oh yeah.  They're sayin' that what they post on Facebook is private, and meant only for family and friends, and how the CRA shouldn't be allowed to read it and...

Well I've got news for them.  NOTHIN' you post on Facebook is ever private.  NOTHIN' AT ALL!  Once you post it on-line, it's on-line FOREVER.

This is why I don't post pictures of myself diggin' through the trash, peein' on bushes, or washin' my bum in public.  MOUSES!

Not that I ever do do any of those things.

Do do...  Doo-doo...  Hehehehee...

Anyway, the bottom line is, if you don't want the whole world to know, don't post it on Facebook. MOUSES!

But back to the issue at paw.

Tell me, do you think I should put a big ol' post up on my page, lettin' the Canada Revenue Agency know that even though I've been savin' up for those nip futures, for a VERY LONG TIME, I have yet to save enough to buy any?

And, do you think I should put a big ol' post up on my page, lettin' the Canada Revenue Agency know that the reason I haven't saved up enough money in my froggy bank to buy any nip futures isn't 'cause nip futures are really expensive, but rather, 'cause I haven't saved up very much?   After all, my only source of income is an occasional quarter or two I find under a chesterfield cushion, and the money the peeps give me when they return bottles.

Oh, and then there was that time when I went on-line and sold Peep #1's...

Ummm...  Never mind.

But do you think I should put a big ol' post up on my page, lettin' the Canada Revenue Agency know that even when I do eventually save up enough money for some nip futures, I'm not quite sure what nip futures even are?

Should I point out to those CRA peeps that even though I am a highly intellectual cat, with sole ownership of the world rights to eggbeater-whisk time travelling teleportation technology, I..

WAIT A MINUTE....

Wait a cotton-nip-pickin'-minute.

I AM a cat.

AND CATS DON'T PAY INCOME TAX.

MOUSES!

Well, well, well...  Turns out, this stuff isn't gonna affect me at all, and do you know what?  I'm okay with that.