Sunday, 21 August 2016

the peep's drawers

There I was rifling through Peep #1's underwear when I heard...

Seville!  What the mouses do you think you're doing?

Mouses!  I was caught red pawed which, by the way, as a ginger cat is pretty easy to do, 'cause my fur is naturally reddish in colour, but today, they were lookin' a little redder than normal, to be sure.

As if in slow motion, I watched a white cotton somethin'-or-other fly across the room, hittin' the peep in the head.


I froze in my tracks.

The peep glared at me.

I raised my shoulders as if to shrug, but then decided against givin' the peep an answer.  I made a dash for the door, zoomin' out into the hallway, and down the stairs.

"Did you find it?" my brother Anderson asked.  "Did you check all the drawers?"

"Yup, every single pair and your nip cigar wasn't there.  Now may I please have my nip mouse back, Andy?  That's my favourite nip mouse and it's not very nice of you to hold him hostage like that."

At that moment, Mason sauntered into the room.  She flicked her tongue across her lips, obviously having recently partaken in a snack of some sort .  "Andy meant for you to check the peep's drawers, Seville.  Her dresser drawers.  Not her underwear."

My jaw dropped.  "You mean...?  You mean I didn't have to go through...?  All those....?  Let me tell you, Andy, that is a sight I can never unsee!  MOUSES!"

Andy burst out laughing and rolled onto his back, his tummy heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath between guffaws.

"Of all the cotton pickin' moused-up..." and I stomped out of the room only to return, moments later, with a plaintive look on my face as I squeaked, "May I PLEASE have my nip mouse back NOW?"

Anderson climbed to his paws.  I looked into his eyes.  He was mullin' it over.  I could see the wheels turning inside his head.  Literally.  Yup, I could see those wheels turnin', for sure, as my brother tried to decide if he would paw me back my nip mouse or not.

Well almost literally.  I could see somethin' goin' on in there.  My friends, Andy does not make a regular habit of thinkin' so when he does, you can tell that he's doin' it, for sure.

Andy let out a loud sigh before answering, "Very well. I guess it's only fair.  After all, you did try to find my nip cigar, even if you're efforts weren't very successful."

I stared at my brother in disbelief.  Not 'cause he was relenting and willin' to give me back my nip mouse but rather, 'cause he was usin' such big words. MOUSES!

"Your nip mouse is under a cushion on the chesterfield," and Anderson pointed to the middle cushion.

Hoppin' onto the couch, I reached down between said cushion and the back of the chesterfield with a paw. "Hmmm...  Oohhh...  OOHHH!"

"Is there something good down there?" Mason asked as she jumped up next to me.  "Coins, perhaps? Sometimes you can find a quarter or two under those cushions.  Last week Rushton found a dime."

With my left paw I pulled my favourite nip mouse out from behind the cushion and laid it down, very carefully, before me,   Then a smirk began to grow across my face.

"Why are you smirking?" Anderson asked suspiciously.  "What's going on over there?  What did you find?"

I reached back behind the cushion once more and this time, when I pulled out my paw, held in my grasp was Anderson's nip cigar.

"You found my nip cigar!" Andy cried with delight.  "Seville, you did it!  YOU DID IT!  You found me my cigar!!!"

I watched as Andy jumped up and down with joy.  Such a simple lad, I thought to myself.  Surely he must realize there will have to be some sort of retribution for his having held my favourite nip mouse hostage, and makin' me search through the peep's underwear drawer.  Like I said earlier, there are some sights one can never unsee.

"Guard my nip mouse with your life," I hissed at my sister Mason, before grabbing the nip cigar between my teeth.  I jumped down from the chesterfield, zoomed past Andy, through the kitchen, up the stairs, and down the hall.  Turning the corner, I found Peep #1 rearranging her drawers and with one flying leap, I deposited Anderson's nip cigar amongst them.

"Can't stop to chat," I meowed at the peep.  "GOTTA RUN!"  And I dashed under the bed moments before Andy appeared at the doorway, his fur looking even more ruffled than usual.

Peep #1 flung her arms up in the air and cried, "I give up!  Have at it, you two," and she turned to walk out of the room.

Then Andy jumped into the open drawer, making the entire piece of furniture wobble to and fro, and the drawer itself MOAN under the weight of a cat that is half Coon and enjoys snacks.

Watching from under the bed, I covered my mouth with a paw so that Anderson wouldn't hear me laughing.

Andy then jumped down from the drawer, and the dresser rocked back into place.   And the drawer practically sighed with relief.  With his nip cigar in his mouth, Andy stormed out of the room.  Once I was sure he was out of earshot, I emerged from under the bed and rolled around on the floor, laughing myself silly.

A little while later, Mason appeared.

"Where's my nip mouse?" I cried.  "You were supposed to be guarding it with your life!"

"Yeah well Peep #1 opened a tin of the fanciest of the feasts and that - CLEARLY - took precedence over your silly little nip mouse."

'MY NIP MOUSE IS NOT SILLY!" I cried in indignation.  "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  You...  Wait a minute.  WHERE IS IT?"

"I don't know," Mason shrugged.  "Andy said something about putting it in a litter box but I have no idea if he was serious or not.  I think he was probably joking but..."

"PUT IT WHERE?" I cried, and without waiting for my sister to answer, I zoomed out of the room, down the hall, and down the stairs, in search of my very favourite nip mouse.


Disclaimer:  The above story did not actually take place.  At least I don't think it did.  One nip cigar did go missing, as did my nip mouse. And both were eventually discovered hiding behind a cushion on the chesterfield.  And there was some rifling of things in drawers, messin' stuff up.  But the rest - like the part where Anderson was using big words and outsmartin' me - was merely a dream.  Or a nightmare.  I think.

Do do do do, do do do do, do do do do...