Sunday, 27 July 2014

how long was that nap?

No...  NO.  It's can't be.  It's not possible.  Surely I couldn't have missed three whole months.  For how long did I sleep?  How long was that nap?  MOUSES!

The other night, that's exactly what I was wonderin'.  Did I really nap right through the months of August, September and October?  How the mouses did I do that?

I raced over to the kitchen calender and leapt straight up into the air, takin' only a moment to glance at the page that was showin'.  Nope, still July.  WHEW! Thank goodness for that 'cause for a moment there, I was thinkin' that my most recent catnap had turned into an extended, three-month sojourn.  MOUSES!

But...  But if it was still July, why was Peep #1 wanderein' around outside in a ghost costume?  Why was she walkin' down the street lookin' like that?  Why was she headin' over to the neighbours' house lookin' like she was all dressed up for Hallowe'en and ready to ask 'em for some candy? WHY?

I've heard of Christmas in July but Hallowe'en?  Hallowe'en in July?  That's crazy talk, that is. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies.  MOUSES!

Hmmm...  But perhaps the peep had gone crazy on me.  It was possible.  In fact, she has been known so say that we cats drive her crazy.  Nah...  couldn't be that.   Firstly, I don't have a driver's licence and secondly, my paws can't reach the gas pedals in the car.  Obviously, I'm not capable of drivin' Ol' Peepers anywhere.  If anyone is drivin' anyone crazy, it's the peep driving me.  MOUSES!

Let's assume that Peep #1 was not crazy.  I know, big assumption but let's assume it anyway. Let's also assume that she wasn't goin' trick-or-treatin' in July 'cause really,  there's no such thing as trick-or-treatin' in July.  What's more, she wasn't carryin' a pillowcase or plastic pumpkin or anything else Hallowe'enish in which to carry her loot.  Assumin' those things, the question still begs to be asked...  Why-oh-why was Ol' Peepers wanderin' around the streets dressed up like a ghost, well past midnight?  It's a valid question, for sure.

But maybe that wasn't a ghost costume after all.  Maybe that was her nightdress.

Okay, new question.  Why-oh-why was Ol' Peepers wandering around the neighbourhood in her nightdress in the middle of the night?  MOUSES!

Turns out, it was all Tess' fault.  Okay, ninety-five percent Tess' fault and five percent Seville's.  Let me explain.

Sometime after midnight, the other night, my brother Seville was still outside.  Peep #1 called and called and called for him but either he didn't hear her or he chose to ignore her.  Either is possible.  Sivvers' hearing is pretty good but somewhat selective.  Also, when the peeps call us after midnight, they have to do so in their quiet voices on account of the neighbours' bein' asleep and whatnot.  It's hard for cats with selective hearin' to hear peeps callin' them, in their quiet voices.  I know this from personal experience.

So after callin' and callin' and callin' for my brother, the peep decided she would head on out and go lookin' for him.  Of course, my sister Tess thought that she should accompany the peep and uh.. um...  help.  Yeah, I think that's she called it.

Well Peep #1 was havin' nothin' to do with that.  She apparently didn't need my sister Tess' help so Tess was unceremoniously dumped in the livin' room and the livin' room door was shut behind her. She was trapped.

Peep #1 put on some shoes and headed on outside.  Of course, she was dressed in her nightgown 'cause it was after midnight and peeps are supposed to be in bed at such hours, before their carriages turn into pumpkins and their horses, mice.  Mice?  MOUSES!

Anywho...  Peep #1 headed on down the driveway, all the while callin' Seville's name.  No answer. Eventually, she turned back to come inside but there, approaching from the direction of the house, appeared the shape of a cat.  Ol' Peepers was ecstatic.  Seville had appeared!

Scratch that.  Upon closer inspection - in other words, when said cat got closer - the first peep realised that the cat approaching her was not Seville at all.  It was Tess.  Yes, it was my sister Tess.  You know, my sister who had been locked in the livin' room with no way to escape.

I don't know what it is about Tess but she must have weird bones or joints or something 'cause that cat can wriggle through spaces far too small for any normal cat to be wrigglin' through.  The livin' room window was only open a few inches.  Maybe three.  Four tops but I'm thinkin' it was more like three.  How the mouses did she get her head through that, never mind the rest of her body?

So Tess approached the peep and walked right past her.  Yup, she just kept on walkin'.

Peep #1 had no choice but to turn around and follow my sister Tess.  She followed her down the driveway, right to its end.  Then she followed her down the road.  Then she followed her across the road, all the while callin' Tess in her well-past-midnight, quiet voice.

Of course, Tess ignored the peep.  Like my brother Seville, Tess' hearin' is also rather selective.

At some point however, Tess stopped at the end of a neighbours' driveway to have a good roll around in the gritty, sandy stuff that tends to collect at ends of driveways.  The first peep seized this opportunity to swoop in and scoop Tess up into her arms, before luggin' her back home.

Tess was not pleased, to say the least.  She complained all the way and she was NOT usin' her well-past-midnight, quiet voice.  You should have heard the growls.  Bet you did.  Bet they were heard around the world.  Maybe even all the way to the moon.  MOUSES!

Anywho...  Suffice it to say, the first peep has not decided to start up some weird kind of holiday called Hallowe'en in July.  She was not out trick-or-treating and she was not dressed up like a ghost.  She was, however, out wanderin' the streets in the middle of the night in her nightgown.  When Hallowe'en does arrive, I shall suggest that she uses that as her costume.  I'm sure it will scare even the bravest of mice. Mice?  MOUSES!

And Seville did arrive home on the doorstep very shortly after the peep came inside with Tess.  There he was, sitting there, like nothin' had happened.  Nothin' at all.  Completely oblivious to the havoc he had caused.

By the way, VOTIN' for the Petties Awards is still goin' on.  You can vote once a day, EVERY DAY, from now until August 7th.  Won't you please vote for me?  I'd really appreciate it a lot.  purrs