Wednesday, 21 June 2017

don't cry over spilt milk

Peepers.

Peepers?

PEEPERS!

Oh hi there peeps.  I was just wonderin' why you were so upset.

You're not all that upset, you say?  You're only a little bit upset?  Well how little is a little?  Is it a whole lot less or just a little bit less, than all that?

Hmmm...

So you mean, you're upset like I was upset, when I discovered my very favourite nip mouse in the whole wide world had been slobbered on by some cat other than myself, but then realized my second favourite nip mouse in the whole wide world was still slobber-free.

HMMM...

Well that means you're pretty moused-up upset, Peepers, but not in a completely inconsolable way. MOUSES!

Anyway, you haven't answered my question.  How come you were upset in the first place?

Oh.  Oh yeah.  I knew all about that.

Oh sure!  I saw it happenin'.  I was on the window ledge watchin' when it did.

Well they enjoyed 'em, for sure.

They did!  Honestly.  In fact, I'd say they enjoyed 'em as much, if not more, than you were gonna enjoy 'em, so...

Peepers, didn't anyone ever tell you not to cry over spilt milk?  It's unbecomin' of a peep.  Now spilt cream?  Spilt cream is a TOTALLY different matter, for sure.  And spilt NIP?  Oh my mouses.  Spilt nip is the worst kind of spillage you can have.  Why, spilt nip is the spillage of all spillages. Spilt nip is...

Just goes to show you, every cloud has a silver linin'.

What?  Oh.  Sorry 'bout that.  I kinda forgot to say out loud what I was thinkin'.  That's why you're so confused.  THIS time.  There's no accountin' for your bein' confused ALL the times you're confused. You do tend to be a super confused peep.

Fine, I'll explain.  I was just thinkin' to myself, NOTHIN' is as serious as spilt nip, and spilt nip is not what you have.  Now spilt cream does come in in second place, albeit a pretty distant second place at that.  But even if you had spilt some cream, there would still be no need for you to cry over it on account of your not needin' the cream anymore anyway, on account of your no longer havin' any strawberries to eat with that cream.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Peepers.  It's very difficult for peeps to keep up with my thought processes.  What can I say?  My mind works in mysterious ways and it ALWAYS works at top speed, for sure.  Sometimes you might think my mind is runnin' amok but really, it's just that I'm thinkin' so quickly, you can't possibly keep up.  I mean, you're just a peep.  Sometimes I can't keep up with it myself!  MOUSES!

Oh yeah, I did say that, didn't I.  I did mention my bearin' witness to the events of last night.

Well...  Well the thing is, I was up on the windowsill, enjoyin' a nice cool evenin' breeze, when I saw a couple of rockies hangin' out by those strawberry plants of yours.  And I have to tell you Peepers, they were really excited when they discovered the berries were ripe.  I guess ripe strawberries are pretty tasty IF you like that sort of thing.  Personally, they're not somethin' I would eat, but to each his own.

Why didn't I say anythin' at the time, you ask?

Well...  Well I figured you already knew.

Yeah.  Why wouldn't you?  I mean, it's not like somebody else put those pots of strawberries right there.  Right there on the ground, where the neighbourhood marauding gang of rockies pass every night.  You must have known they'd find 'em there.  In fact, some might even think you left 'em there on purpose.  You know, left 'em there for them to be found.  I just figured that was your plan all along and...

Peepers.

Peepers?

PEEPERS!

You know, you can deny it all you like, but I think you're more upset 'bout these strawberries than you're admittin' and...

Peepers, now that I think about it, it would be really thoughtful of you if the next time you have some strawberries ready for those rockies, you would leave out a little cream.  I'm pretty sure they'd really enjoy some strawberries and cream, and in order to have strawberries and cream, you kinda need to have the cream.  Without the cream, strawberries and cream are just...  You know...  Strawberries.

MOUSES!