Sunday, 23 July 2017

well it's about time

Hey there, Peepers, whatcha doin'?  Makin' a mess?

Um, never mind.  I can clearly see you are. Makin' a mess, I mean. Now that I think about it, the makin' of the mess thing is pretty obvious, for sure.

But what else are ya doin'?  You just makin' a mess for the sake of makin' a mess, or is there some kinda method to your mess-makin' madness, too?

And in case you were wonderin', Peepers, when I say madness, I do mean madness in a crazy kinda way.  MOUSES!

Anyway...

So anyway, whatcha up to there, Peepers?

OOHHH...  A BOX!  SWEET.

Hmmm...  This here box looks mighty familiar, Peepers.  Is this the box that...

HMMM...

It sure looks like it is.  Mouses!

Well it's about time.  What took you so long?

Oh NO?  Well a year is a pretty long time to me.  And that's a year in peep years.  You don't even wanna think about how long that is in cat years.  In cat years, a year is like...  Like...  LIKE... FOREVER.  MOUSES!

It was only eleven months, you say?

Eleven months...  Twelve months...  WHATEVER.

So anyway, you want some help there puttin' that rollin' compostin' thingy together, Peepers?  'Cause it looks like you could use some help, for sure.  MOUSES!

Where are the directions?  Have you spent the last year studyin' them?  Is that why it took you so long to take the rollin' compostin' thingy out of its box and put it together?  Is that why this ol' box has been sittin' in a corner in my office for all that time?  Is that why...

No, Peepers, that's not where that piece goes.  MOUSES!

NO.  No, I didn't read the instructions.  DID YOU?

Well I only ask 'cause I'm thinkin', had you read the instructions, you wouldn't have this little pile of screws and things over here, with nowhere to put 'em.

Oh, those are the extras, you say.  Yeah, we've been down this road before, Peepers, and if I've told you once, I've told you a million and three times, these come-in-a-box-and-put-'em-together-all-by-yourself projects DON'T COME with leftover pieces.

Yeah, yeah...

MOUSES!

Okay, so let's say the manufactures did send along some extras pieces.

Okay, so let's PRETEND the manufactures did send along some extra pieces.  Shouldn't there be an equal number of extra screws and bolts left over?  I mean, don't you use those kind of things together?

Yeah, that's what I thought, too.  So how come you have four extra screws, and only three extra bolts? Got an answer for that, Peepers?

Yup, it's a good question, for sure.  MOUSES!

And is this flap thingy supposed to be loose?

Yeah, another excellent question on my part, I should think.  MOUSES!

And speakin' of questions...

So Peepers, I'm thinkin'...

I'm thinkin' this rollin', compostin' thingy you got eleven months ago but didn't put together 'til today...

I'm thinkin', it's not all that small.

Yeah, well I'm ALSO thinkin', the door to my office is not all that big.

And I'm wonderin'...

I'm wonderin' if you're plannin' on compostin' stuff inside the house, in my office, 'cause if you are, we're gonna have to have a little chat about that.

You're not actually plannin' on compostin' stuff inside the house, in my office, are you, 'cause I never agreed to ANY of that.

Yeah, yeah...

So anyway...

So anyway, have you given any thought as to how you're gonna get this not-all-that-small rollin', compostin' thingy through the not-all-that-big door to my office, cause...

Don't cry, Peepers.  Think of this way, your first shot at puttin' the rollin' compostin' thingy together can be sort of a test run.  Next time, when you put it together OUTSIDE, you can...

Well...

Uh...

Well maybe next time you'll be able to put it together without any leftovers.

Again, if I've told you once, I've told you a million and three times, Peepers, THESE KINDA THINGS DON'T COME WITH EXTRA PIECES.  MOUSES!