Sunday, 19 February 2017

I fits, I sits

What the mouses?

MASON, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

Uh, yeah.  That's not how that sayin' goes.

What's that?  No...  No, the sayin' is, I fits, I sits.  I should know, on account of my havin' said it many a time but...

But what?  But you say that that's what you're doin'.

Uh, no.  That's not what you're doin' at all. MOUSES!

I suppose I can agree with you on that. You ARE sittin'.  But as far as the fittin' part goes...

Mason, Mason, Mason...  *sighs*

Well for starters, that's a box.

Pardon me?  You say you know it's a box.

Okay...

Well tell me this then, Mason.  Do you know what to do with said box?

Scratch that.  I know perfectly well that you know what to do with boxes.  I've seen you in many a box before but...

Well...

DO YOU KNOW THAT THAT BOX IS A BOX?

And perhaps more to the point, DO YOU KNOW THAT IT ISN'T A HAT?  MOUSES!

Mason, in this here house, we cats do not wear hats.  We don't wear boxes, either.  We just don't. None of us do.  I repeat, NONE OF US.  One of us cats starts trottin' around the house wearin' a hat, and the next thing you know, Peep #1 will be knittin' us all beanies and stuff.  You know how she is.  MOUSES!

And how the heck are you keepin' that box on your head, anyway?

Oh...

I see.

It's stuck, you say.

Hmmm...

Well it probably has somethin' to do with it not bein' a hat in the first place. Maybe somethin' to do with it bein' a very small box, and you know, the fact that it actually IS a box.  MOUSES!

And why DID you decide to stick that box on your head?

Oh...

I see.

That wasn't your intention, you say.

Hmmm...

So you stuck your head in the box, to see if you would fit;  and when you tried to pull your head out of the box, the box came with your head.

Hmmm...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Sorry.  I know.  It's not polite to laugh at sisters.  Even if they do have boxes stuck on their heads but...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

It may not be polite but it sure is fun.  MOUSES!

So anyway, Mason, how are you plannin' on gettin' your head unstuck from that there box?  Huh? HUH?  Inquirin' minds are gonna wanna know.  MOUSES!

Ah, you were hopin' I'd help you.  Help you get your head unstuck from the box.  You were hopin' I'd grab hold of one end, and pull it off your head, were you?

I don't know, Mason.  I've never been known to be overly helpful.

Plus, if I pull that box off your head before Peep #1 sees you...

Well she'd never forgive me, for sure.

HEY PEEPERS!  MASON HAS A BOX STUCK ON HER HEAD!!!  THAT'S RIGHT, SHE'S GONE AND GOT HER HEAD STUCK IN A BOX.  COME SEE!!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Mason, before the peep gets here to remove that box from your head, let me give you two pieces of advice. 

Number one is, there are some boxes into which, cats simply will not fit, and it should go without sayin' that in these boxes, one should NEVER attempt to sit.

And number two is, boxes and hats?  Two totally different things.  MOUSES!