Wednesday, 28 January 2015

the nissmobile!

Nerissa the Cat reportin' from Nova Scotia.  Let me remind you that you heard it here first, folks.... WE HAVE SNOW.

What's that Peepers? You say I can't tell my readers they heard 'bout Winter Storm Juno here first, 'cause Winter Storm Juno is pretty much over? But it's still snowin' out outside.  I can see the white stuff comin' down, right now.  All the schools are cancelled, too. Surely...  Really? Awww...  MOUSES!

FINE.  So peeps didn't hear 'bout Winter Storm Juno from me first and they probably all already knew that we had snow but I'm bettin' no one knew 'bout the other stuff I'm bloggin' about today and as luck would have it, it's storm-related, for sure.

First of all, let me tell you 'bout the new doggy catwalk.

All mornin' long, I've been watchin' the dogs of the neighbourhood struttin' their stuff down the catwalk, also known as the street in front of my house.  These doggies have been sportin' all sorts of winter garb.  The 2015 collection includes everythin' from dressy jackets for a night on the town to more practical, cold-weather apparel such as the lovely fleece-lined grey jacket worn by the friendly neighbourhood mutt.  A jacket that keeps the cold out while remainin' stylish is a fashion-must, this season, for sure.

Unfortunately, every fashion show has a gate-crasher or two.  A husky was seen streakin' down the catwalk in his birthday suit.  That's right, folks, we had a naked Husky wearin' nothin' but the fur God gave him.

Thankfully the peeps accompanying him were not naked, too.  MOUSES!

Also spotted on the road, this week, was a snowmobile.  That's right foks, yesterday afternoon I was witness to a snowmobile racin' down the road in front of my house.  The very same road that is also doublin' as a catwalk for the first doggy fashion show of the season.

Truth be told, I'm not sure if snowmobiles are allowed on the road.  I don't even know if they're licenced but there it was, drivin' in all its glory.  That snowmobile sped down my street not once but twice, yesterday afternoon.  Not sure what the hurry was.  Everythin' was closed.  Nothin' was goin' on.  After all, we were in the middle of blizzard 'round here.  MOUSES!

But seein' that ol' snowmobile gave me an idea...

The night before, I  had fallen asleep listenin' to the news.  I know, not a good idea for me to do.  Previously, doin' stuff like that has led to cheese-snackin' induced dreams involvin' the Royal Canadian Mouseland Police but when I fell asleep Monday night, I had not snacked upon any cheese.  There were no dreams of sugarplum mice for me.

Anywho...  as I drifted off to sleep, I was listenin' to a reporter drivin' around New York City, talkin' about how no one was allowed to be drivin' around the city.  You know, the traffic ban and whatnot.  I was a little confused on account of his drivin' around in a car durin' the traffic ban and... well..  bein' traffic.  I assumed some sort of exception had been made for the press or somethin'.  I was hopin' there had been an exception made for the press 'cause there's nothin' worse than endin' up on the wrong side of the news when you're supposed to be reportin' it.  Kind of embarrassin' to be pulled over for bein' in violation of a traffic ban while you're busy reporting 'bout there bein' a traffic ban in the first place, if you know what I mean.  MOUSES!

So the reporter drivin' around durin' the traffic ban was still weighin' heavily on my mind.  Weighin' heavily on my mind like a seventeen pound marmie brother lyin' on my favourite nip mouse and refusin' to get off it.  And then I saw the snowmobile and that's when I thought...

That's when I thought, I need one of those!

And always bein' full of good ideas, I had another thought.

And I'll call it...  the Nissmobile!!!

The Nissmobile will allow me to get out and about with my fellow cats, reportin' on the news of the day.  With a Nissmobile, I can be right there, askin' the man on the street for his opinions and thoughts on important stuff like science, education, politics and the availability and access of nip to all cats, everywhere.

And when there's a storm like this Juno character, with my Nissmobile, a little inclement weather won't stop me.  I'll be out there with all the other reporters, zippin' about the streets.  Zippin' about durin' the traffic bans while in my Nissmobile!

Once the snow and ice are all gone, I'll get the peep to attach some wheels to the Nissmobile, allowin' for four-season travel.

And the Nissmobile sure will come in handy durin' my publicity campaign to get the Prime Minister of Canada to appoint me to the Senate.  I, Nerissa the Cat, wanna be Canada's first feline Senator, for sure.

I'll be able to hop into my Nissmobile and travel to all four corners of Nova Scotia, askin' the peeps I wanna represent, what is most important to them because I, Nerissa the Cat, know and understand the importance of the Senate and the duties of Senators.  I understand that Canadian Senators represent the people from the provinces in which they reside and not the politicians who appoint them.  Oh my gosh, I even know in which province I reside.  Believe it or not, not every Senator has.  MOUSES!

So if you happen to be in Nova Scotia this year and you see a cute little sterling silver - some say platinum - tabby cat zippin' about on the streets, you can rest assured that that tabby cat is me.  Me, Nerissa the Cat. Nerissa the Cat in my Nissmobile.

Whether I'm reportin' the news or spreadin' the word 'bout my campaign for a Senate appointment, there will be one thing you can count on above all else.  I, Nerissa the Cat will be the cutest reporter/politician on the street. After all, only the cutest will be allowed to drive the Nissmobile,

And you'll hear me hollarin' far and wide...  #Niss4Senate - Tell the PM, today.  Please?