just leave it open

Maybe you should just leave it open.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' I'm tellin' Peepers to leave the back door open so Saffy Saffron Sassifras can just sit there for a minute...  Scratch that.  So Saffy Saffron Sassifras can just sit there for an HOUR or two, 'til he decides whether he wants to go outside or stay in.

MOUSES!

Now normally...

Now normally, this guess would probably be right.  I mean, we cats do like to sit by an open door and ponder a bit.  Ponder 'bout the meanin' of life.  'Bout why the birds sing.  'Bout whether or not we want to be outside or in.

You know, those sorta things.

Why I, myself, have been known to ponder by an open door for so long I FELL ASLEEP RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT!

FYI, fallin' asleep by an open door is not a good idea, on account of it givin' a peep the opportunity to pick you up and carry you away from said door before you've had the chance to figure out if you want to be in or out.

MOUSES!

But back to what I was talking 'bout before.  No, if you're guessin' I was suggestin' that Peepers leave the back door open for Saffy, even though you would normally be right, this time, that guess would be wrong.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that if my suggestion wasn't 'bout the door, it must have been 'bout the bag of treats on the counter.

Now that, my friends, would be an EXCELLENT idea.  Yes sirree, leavin' the bag of treats on the counter open for us kitties would be an excellent idea, for sure.  Why, it would mean Saffron and I could help ourselves whenever we wanted.  We wouldn't be havin' to pester Peepers all the time.  Pester her by meowin' for her to get her up off her lazy tail and go get us some treats!  Ah yes, it would be an excellent idea, for sure, except...

Except...

'Cept it kinda implies we cats can be pests.

WHICH WE ARE NOT.

EVER.

NEVER!

MOUSES!

Except maybe at four in the mornin' when we sometimes think the peep should get up and check on our catnip plants outside, 'cause it's rainin' really heavily and we're concerned the plants could be drownin', AND WOULDN'T IT BE NICE if a peep were to go out there with an umbrella or two to protect 'em from the torrential downpour.

Not to mention all the thunder and lightenin'.

MOUSES!

So no, my suggestion wasn't 'bout that, either.

Give up?

Fine, I'll give you the answer.

Peepers was standin' at the fridge earlier today, with the fridge door open wide, wonderin' if there was anythin' in there worthy of snackin'.  Or maybe she was thinkin' she'd pour herself somethin' to drink but couldn't decide if she wanted a glass of iced tea or fizzy water.  Or perhaps...

Oh I don't know what she was thinkin' might materialise if she stood there long enough, starin' inside.  Bein' a peep, she has weird tastes, you see, so to be perfectly honest, WHATEVER she was plannin' on havin' would be of no interest to me.

However...

However, I did notice that when the fridge door was open fully wide, some nice cool air came a-wafting in my direction.  And since it was hot and muggy where I was standin', that nice cool air felt pretty good, to be sure.

So...

So I suggested ol' Peepers should just leave the fridge door open and I would stand in front of it like the fridge was my very own personal air conditioner, you see.

Oddly enough, the peep didn't agree.

Instead, she grabbed a bottle of fizzy water and closed the fridge door, and the cool air I WAS enjoyin', could be enjoyed no more.

What a stupid peep.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

you might wanna know

Oh Peepers...

Oh Peepers...

Hey, PEEPERS!!!  Where the mouses are you?

That's odd.  No answer.

MOUSES!

PEEPERS!!!

And not a sound to be heard.

Hmmm....

I wonder if I should be worried 'bout her.  It's not like the peep to not come runnin' when I call.  Not like her, at all.

HMMM....

On the other paw, sometimes a kitty gets a better response by horkin' up a hairball.  Peeps always come runnin' at that sound, no matter where in the house they might be.  But alas, I have no hair balls to hork.

MOUSES!

Hey Saffy!  You have any idea where Peepers might be?  I've been callin' and callin' AND CALLIN' to no avail.  You think somethin' might have happened to her?  Could she be hurt?  Could she have been kidnapped?  Might she have been abducted by aliens?

What am I sayin'?  No self-respectin' kidnapper - or alien, either - would kidnap my peep.  At least if they did, they wouldn't keep her.  They'd be returnin' ol' Peepers, lickety-split.  She can be very annoyin', you see.

MOUSES!

And now Saffron isn't respondin', either.  This is gettin' weirder and weirder by the minute.

But what if it is I, Seville the Cat, who has been abducted or somethin' and thrown into some kinda weird alternative reality where I'm all alone in the world...  UNIVERSE, with no one to come runnin' at my beck and call?  

*shudders at the thought; then looks up*

And where the skies rumble above makin' a kitty think he might be livin' in the basement of the local bowlin' alley.

I'm tellin' ya, the thunder is gettin' louder and louder.  That last boom was practically sonic!

MOUSES!

*sees the peep walk into the house*

PEEPERS!  WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

And what the mouses happened to you, Peepers?  You look like a drowned rat.  Scratch that: I've seen drowned rats that looked a heck of a lot drier than you.  You go swimmin' or somethin' and forget to take a towel?

And might I suggest you wear a bathin' suit instead of regular clothes next time you decide to take a dip in a lake?

I've often told Peepers to go jump in a lake but never once did I expect her to take me seriously.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

So you say you didn't actually go swimmin' or jump in a lake, huh?  You were outside when it clouded over, gettin' all eerily dark, and then all of a sudden the skies opened up and buckets of rain started fallin'?

Well that would explain the bedraggled look, I suppose.

BUT DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME CALLIN' YOU?

You did?  Then why the mouses did you not respond?  Peepers, I was callin' and callin' AND CALLIN' you on account of my havin' somethin' very important to say.

Oh, I see.  You and Saffy ran under the overhang thingy of the garage when it started pourin',  as it was the closest shelter.  Then the two of you stood there standin' about with nothin' to do but twiddle your thumbs for fifteen minutes while you waited for the rain to subside.

Makes sense, I suppose, ALTHOUGH WHEN A KITTY CALLS FOR HIS PEEP, rain or not, a kitty kinda expects a more prompt response.  You might wanna keep that in mind for future reference.

MOUSES!

Why was I callin' you, you ask?

Well...

Well I wanted to tell you it's rainin'.  You've been complaining 'bout the lack of rain for the last week or two so I figured now that it was rainin', you might wanna know.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

the boomies

There were boomies yesterday.

MOUSES!

Yesterday started out like any other day.  The sun was shining, and big white fluffy clouds dotted the bright blue sky.

But off in the distance...

There were clouds of a more sinister kind.

And there was rumbling, too.

MOUSES!

Now don't get me wrong.  I like a good rumble, myself.

Like uh...

You know...

Like the Jets versus Sharks kind!  Complete with good music and a fun little dance number on the side.

But the rumbling I heard yesterday mornin' was more like...

Uh...

Like the rumbling in an Ottawa media scrum.

Minus the eye rolling and polite - sometimes not so polite - insults, of course. 

MOUSES!

So anyway, there was some rumbling off in the distance, yesterday morning.

But I said to myself:  I, Seville the Cat, am not gonna get upset about that.

MOUSES!

But a few hours later...

A few hours later, the rumbling was gettin' louder and louder, and it was sounding a lot closer, too.  Then off in the not-so-distant distance...

THERE CAME A LOUD...

BOOM!

You ever hear of a scaredy cat, my friends?

Well that was Rushton, for sure.

MOUSES!

Okay, so I admit it, I was a tad scared, too.

But who can blame me?  I mean, SERIOUSLY!!!  The boomies got louder and louder and there were flashes of light in the sky.  My gosh, I thought it was a reenactment of the 1st of July!

So I uh...

Um...

Well...

So I ran.  Okay?  I admit it.  I ran like no kitty has ever run before.  I ran and I ran and I ran, all the way over to the good ol' basement door.  Down the staircase I went, as fast as my paws would take me, until...

Until I met up with Rushton, cowering on the laundry room floor.

But after the boomies subsided, and the peep called from the top of the stairs, we both came a-running, to check on the...

Uh...

Well...

Mess?

Turned out, there was no mess.  Well no more so than usual, I guess.  I must admit, the bowl of dry kibble had been overturned when some kitty's tail and hind legs hit it while racing downstairs.  But other than that, things looked pretty normal.  I was rather surprised to see the peeps hadn't uh...

You know...

Missed the ol' human litter box out of fear.

'Cause let me tell you somethin', my friends, that's happened to more than one KITTY, before.

Actually, the peeps were somewhat complacent 'bout the loud crashes of thunder and flashes of light, and...

And it makes a kitty wonder if THE PEEPS were behind what gave me such a terrifying fright.

That would be just like peeps, you know?  Ordering up an afternoon thunder storm just to scare the wits out of us cats.

MOUSES!

Well I'll teach them.  I know just what I'll do.  Let's just say, sometime this week, in the wee hours of the night, there'll be some crashing and booming and smashing of stuff.

MOUSES!

And on a totally different topic...

DID YOU KNOW, glass objects rarely break when hitting a carpeted floor?  Fact.  But knock a plant pot onto the sunroom tiles, and...

You've got instant boomies, for sure.

MOUSES!