Wednesday, 13 September 2017

the big tidy

Easy-peasy, she said.  Easy-peasy.  Yup, those were her words, for sure.

In fact...

In fact, she said it was gonna be SO easy, the plan was dubbed, Operation Easy Peasy.

I mean, Operation The Big Easy.

No.  Actually, I mean, Operation The Big Tidy.

But the name, itself, doesn't really matter. What does matter is how things went.  And how things went was...

Well...

Well let's just say, things didn't go quite as planned.

MOUSES!

So anyway, the peeps have been doin' a big tidy of sorts.  They've been gettin' rid of some stuff they no longer need.  Gettin' rid of things they haven't used since 1952, and...

Okay, so they may have used some of that stuff since 1952.  After all, Ol' Peepers wasn't even born then.  But SERIOUSLY, folks, some of this stuff hasn't seen the light of day since way back in 2012, for sure.

MOUSES!

When Peep #1 told me of her big tidying plans, the first thing I said was...

Good plan, Peepers.  When in doubt, throw it out.  MOUSES!

Okay, so those weren't my exact words.  My exact words were...

When in doubt, throw that stupid ol' crappy stuff of yours out!  MOUSES!

Yeah, that sounds more like what I said, for sure.

And the second thing I said was...

JUST MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT THROWIN' OUT ANY MY NIP.  MOUSES!

Of course, I couldn't actually trust the peep not to throw out any of MY stuff.  I've been there before, and lessons have been learned, so...

So I had to do a thorough inspection of each and every item the peep was puttin' in the pile of things to throw out.

To ENSURE she didn't accidentally toss out any of my stuff.

'CAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S NEVER TOSSED OUT ANY OF MY STUFF BEFORE.

Why, I remember when she...

Actually, some cat had peed upon that scratcher, so I'm thinkin', throwin' it out might have been for the best.

But I remember another time when she...

Actually, some cat had thrown up all over that giant stuffed teddy, so probably, throwin' it out might have been for the best.

But I remember ANOTHER time when she...

Actually, some cat had torn open the bellies of all those nip mice, spillin' their innards all over the floor and makin' a right ol' mess, so probably, throwin' them out might have been for the best.

But still...

But still, these were all instances of her tossin' MY STUFF right out the door.

So I am sure you can understand why I HAD to give each and every item the peep was plannin' on tossin', a full and thorough inspection, before allowin' the tossin' to happen.

MOUSES!

Well it turns out, when peeps are in full tidy up mode, peeps don't actually appreciate the assistance of a gorgeous ginger kitty sniffin' out each and every item being considered for tossin', makin' sure these items do not belong to said kitty of gorgeous gingerness.

In fact...

In fact, it turns out that when a gorgeous ginger kitty insists upon inspectin' each and every item bein' considered for tossin', before said items are actually tossed, said gorgeous ginger kitty's assistance may very well be met with various comments I cannot repeat here on my blog.  After all, Nerissa's Life is a family-friendly blog, and...

Okay, so truth be told, she told me to get my tail out of her business.

I, in return, told HER to get HER tail out of MY business.

Then she claimed she didn't have a tail.

Then I pointed to the back of her head and said, "Oh yeah?  Well what the mouses is that thing held together with a hair elastic and a silly ol' bobby pin?  And goodness knows what's tucked in the back of your pants.  MOUSES!"

Well it would be her reply to that, that I can't repeat on this here family-friendly blog.  What she said was NOT suitable for kitten ears, for sure.

So I said, "Oh yeah?"

And she said, "Yeah."

And I said, "You wanna make a bet?"

And she said, "I'm game if you're game."

And then I said, "Oh!  You wanna play a game.  Why I'd love to play a game, Peepers.  How 'bout tug-of-war with this ol' t-shirt I found in the pile of stuff you're throwin' out.  Here, I'll grab one end, you grab the other, and..."

Well I grabbed one end of the t-shirt and yanked as hard as I could but the peep, bein' a peep, didn't appear to understand how to play tug-of-war so when I yanked, I pulled the shirt right out of the pile, along with a myriad of other things, causing the peep to misunderstand and think we were playin' pick-up-sticks, only instead of sticks, she was pickin' up all the stuff that had previously been in her pile of things to throw out.

Once the peep was finished playin' pick-up-sticks, minus the sticks, I said to her, "Fine, tug-of-war is too difficult for you?  How 'bout tag.  YOU'RE IT!"  Then I raced down the hallway, and...

And again, I cannot repeat what she then said, but...

But needless to say, Operation Big Tidy wasn't so easy, after all, and to be perfectly honest...

To be be perfectly honest, it wasn't overly tidy, either.

If only the peep hadn't objected to my assisting her.  If only she had willingly accepted my help.  If only...

If only she could understand how my helpin' her was absolutely necessary, because...

BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS GOTTA MAKE SURE NONE OF MY STUFF GETS THROWN OUT.

MOUSES!

9 comments:

  1. I believe I have commented before about the problem of cats not having pockets. You could keep better track of your own stuff that way!! And the peeps could send you to the store when we run out of coffee creamer and such..

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  2. We prefur clutter over tidy Seville, it has more letters in it!

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  3. There should be a rule when peeps tidy up that they can't get rid of anything that belongs to the cats.

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  4. Seville, you NEED to be supervising this clean up for sure! You need to make sure your human doesn't toss out the wrong things! In other words, anything of yours.

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  5. Oooh soundalike your peep is way better at this de clutter than mine, the only things that get piled up here are dust bunnies and clothes!
    Toodle pip and purrs
    ERin

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  6. Hi gorgeous gingerness at least you tried to help the peeps....your right making sure your nip doesn't get thrown out that would be catastrophic.Hugs xπŸΎπŸΎπŸΎπŸΎπŸ˜»πŸ˜ΈπŸŒŒπŸ’•

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  7. dood...ya canna trust em...peepz......they tell ya one thing N due sum thim compleet lee diffrunt....sew tripull double tripull chex that pile....we noe all bout de tossin oh cat ree lated objectz de art.....N while we R glad sum other catz iz gettin good use outta em.....ITZ STILL R STUFF !!!!!!! ☺☺♥

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  8. If our humans were left to their own accord, I bet the pile of stuff to get rid of would end up being put back in a pile to keep. They get a bit overwhelmed & confused. They seem to want a lot of unnecessary stuffs. Seville, food for you to make sure your peeps' stuffs get put in the outgoing pile & your valuables kept safe! Hugs!

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  9. Oh Seville it sounds like your Peep needs a lot more help than you can provide *sigh* maybe you need to bring in some recruits....

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