Sunday, 23 April 2017

king of the castle

I'M THE KING OF THE CASTLE, AND YOU'RE THE DIRTY OL' RASCAL.

Hmmm...  Maybe I should rephrase that.  After all, you're not dirty as in dirty, like in a rascally kind of way.  No, you're more like dirty as in a you're-all-covered-in-the-stuff-I-just knocked-off-the-chest-of-drawers kind of way.  But still dirty, nevertheless.

Well...  Maybe I should rephrase that.  You're not really dirty.  You're more like uh...  messy.  Yeah, messy.  'Cause what I knocked off this ol' chest of drawers wasn't dirty at all.  But now that it's all over you and the floor, it's a super messy situation, to be sure.  MOUSES!

Rushton?  RUSHTON?  ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE?

I see movement!

He's okay, my friends.  He's okay!  A few papers and things can't keep down any brother of mine. MOUSES!

But speakin' of down...

Oh Rushton, you're way, WAY down there and I, Seville the Cat, am way, WAY up here.  Do you know what that means, oh brother of mine?

You don't have an answer, huh?  Then I'll tell you what that means.  It means...

I'M THE KING OF THE CASTLE, AND YOU'RE THE DIRTY OL' RASCAL.

RUSHTON!  I am totally taking back what I said about your not bein' dirty, 'cause let me tell you, that ol' stink eye you just gave me was a pretty DIRTY look, to be sure.  MOUSES!

Well at least I didn't break anything when I knocked the stuff down.

What?  What's that, you say?  You say that you, Rushton Tapio, have never before broken anythin' by knockin' stuff off a chest of drawers and onto the floor?

Hmmm...  Well you do have a point there, Rushton, 'cause seriously, jumpin' onto high pieces of furniture isn't exactly your strong suit, if you know what I mean.

Oh yeah?  And just when was the last time you were up here?  Huh?  HUH?  Was it like... NEVER? You know, it's pretty hard to knock stuff down from the top of a chest of drawers when you're never ON the top of a chest of drawers, to do any knockin'.  MOUSES!

But speakin' of knockin', have you looked at your tail recently?

For mousin' out loud.  I am not suggestin' you've knocked your tail down.  What the mouses are you even talkin' about?  What does that even mean?  Knockin' one's tail down...  That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard in my life and believe-you-me, livin' with those peeps of ours, I've heard some pretty stupid things, for sure.    MOUSES!

What I was talkin' about, Rushton, is your tendency to knock stuff...  Knock other stuff...  Stuff other than your tail...  down.  You know, your tendency to knock stuff down with your tail.  How you're always usin' your tail to knock stuff down.

What do I mean?  WHAT DO I MEAN?

Remember not long ago when Peep #1 stupidly left an empty glass on the coffee table in the family room?  And remember when you walked past the coffee table, flicking your tail this way and that, like your tail needed to be up in everyone's business?  And remember when that tail of yours came in contact with the glass the peep so stupidly left on the coffee table and... Yeah, REMEMBER?  THAT'S what I'm talkin' about, for sure.

But what's a little breakage 'mongst family and friends?

You're right.  You're absolutely right.  Peep #1 didn't see it that way at all.  But then, she's just a peep.  What do you expect?  MOUSES!

No Rushton, there actually isn't anythin' wrong with your tail.  It's just that you have an incredibly strong tail, and when you use that tail to thump someone, you really THUMP 'em, and when you use it to thwack 'em, you really THWACK 'em, for sure.

Seriously Rushy, you could take out a Cyclops with that thing.

Not that I've noticed any Cyclopes wanderin' about 'round here, needin' to be taken out, but if I do come across any, I'll know who to call.

NO, NOT TAKEN OUT ON A DATE.

For the love of mouses.

Hey Rushy!  You know, lookin' down at you from way, way up here, it occurs to me that you could use that super strong tail of yours to uh...  um...  push those papers and things I knocked down from the top of this ol' chest of drawers, underneath this ol' chest of drawers.  You know, so that when the peep comes in, she doesn't see 'em scattered all over the floor.

Well yeah, I know.  I know she could see 'em before, when they were on top of the chest of drawers.  But they're not up here anymore.  Now they're down there.  Down there on the floor.  And I'm thinkin'...  I'm thinkin' she doesn't need to see 'em down there, on that ol' floor.  She doesn't need to know...

Yes Rushy, I am.  I am askin' you to do me a favour.  One small little favour.  One teeny-tiny minuscule favour.  One little favour so small that you'd probably need an electron microscope or somethin' to even see it and...

WOULD YOU JUST USE THAT ABNORMALLY STRONG TAIL OF YOURS TO PUSH THE PAPERS UNDER THE CHEST OF DRAWERS?  MOUSES!

Fine.  FINE.  In return, I promise not to yell at you anymore.

That's right.  Not any more at all.

Today.

But I can still sing, right?  I can still sing, today?

Good.

Oh Rushy...  Oh Rushy...  Rushton, look up.  Look way, way up.  I've got somethin' to sing to you.

I'M THE KING OF THE CASTLE, AND YOU'RE THE DIRTY OL' RASCAL.

But don't worry, Rushton.  I'm still not sayin' you're dirty in a rascally kind of way.  It's just that messy didn't work with the music.  MOUSES!


26 comments:

  1. Hey, there are a few here that are into messy, not that I would mention any names!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You makin' a list? Bet Santa might like a hold of that list.

      WHAT AM I SAYIN'? A list like that could get a kitty like me into a lot of trouble, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. Ha! I can't believe you even considered asking any favors of Rushton after calling him dirty! You may want to stay clear of that tail for a while

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I DID qualify the 'kind' of dirty. Surely that counts for somethin'. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. You're very lucky to have that brother of yours to help clean up the mess, me, I'm stuck with peep to do it. To be fair peep causes most of the mess, that is in-between fighting flames from the food that just caught fire. MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peeps DO 'cause a lot of mess. I mean... You know... 'Cause they're such peeps! MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Rushton I'm a furniture surfer too....if it's on a surface, I have to give it a little push. Mom says that makes me a hellion, I say it makes me a curious kitten!

    Love, Teddy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I say it makes you a curious kitten, too. PURRS.

      Delete
  5. If your peep is anything like mine and Rushton has pushed those papers out of sight, she will be wondering where she put them in the first place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh believe-you-me, my peeps don't need any help from us kitties when it comes to their not rememberin' where they put stuff. MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. Joanie has a tail with a mind of it's own too- she usually hits my computer and makes the words zoom bigger. That was sweet of your pal to help you out :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can make the words zoom bigger with your tail? I NEVER KNEW! Must try that, for sure. purrs

      Delete
  7. Hmmmmm Seville, ya' might wanna rethink your favor askin' approach. Ya' know, you can ketch more floofy tails with honey and save da dirty talk fur after.l MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I don't really like honey? Hmmm.. You think nip works, too? purrs

      Delete
  8. "But what's a little breakage 'mongst family and friends?" Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Purr-fect! Be careful, Rushton ... hiding Sivvy's deeds makes you an accomplice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Rushy can't spell a word (like accomplice), he can't look it up in the dictionary to find out what it means. PURRS.

      Delete
  9. Tails are a dangerous thing, for sure. Whipping this way and that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! Now if we could whip up some whippin' cream with our tails... Now THAT would be somethin', for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  10. Messy? You do messy and blame Rushton? Shame on you Sevile :-) :-) :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Rushy has blamed ME for stuff HE'S done before, for sure. purrs

      Delete
  11. Hey there Mr Buddy AdventurCat! We have to paw up and take it on our canines when WE are the manager of the offending tail, na'mean??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not when you have a brother to conveniently blame. PURRS.

      Delete
  12. Sevvy if you don't watch it Rushton is going to whap you with that tail when you have to come down....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now THAT I do have to watch out for 'cause Rushy's tail is like a dangerous weapon, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  13. Rushton you just keep on flik'n that pawsome tail. Seville is gonna have to get used to you havin' the "upper tail"...na'mean??

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...