You better watch out.
You better not growl.
You better not hiss,
spit, smack-paw or howl.
Santa Clause is comin' to town.
He's makin' a list
for cats who'll get nip.
Checking that none of 'em
gave their peeps lip.
Santa Claus is comin' to town.
HELLO MY FRIENDS! I was just singin' a little tune while wrappin' up some prezzies, 'cause if you haven't heard, Santa Claus is comin' to town. MOUSES!
I know, I know... I know what you're wonderin'. You're wonderin' why I, Seville the Cat, am wrappin' up prezzies. It's not like I'm Santa Claus or anythin'.
Or maybe it is. MOUSES!
Nah. I'm just joshin' you. Although Santa and I are on good speakin' terms. I've met him a couple of times now. Helped him out and everythin'.
But seriously folks, it's not just Santa who gives out the prezzies. We cats have to give prezzies, too. For instance, right now, I am currently tryin' to wrap up this prezzie for Peep #1. I can't tell you what it is, 'cause you know, she might read my blog and find out. I want it to be a surprise.
No Andy, I am NOT givin' the peep a surprise like that surprise you left for her outside the litter box, the day before yesterday. MOUSES!
FYI, I am not talkin' about the 'snow' Mason scattered all over the floor. No, Andy's surprise was far, far worse. Oh boy, was it ever worse. MOUSES!
But back to the wrappin' of this prezzie.
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
PEEEEPERRRRRRRSSSSSSSSS!!! Where did you say you put the good wrappin' paper, again?
No. No, I'm sure you told me. I'm sure you told me where the paper was. I'm sure you gave me the actual location. I've just forgotten what that location was, is all.
No. No, I'm positive you didn't tell me to keep my stinkin' paws away from your good wrappin' paper.
For starters, my paws don't stink. MOUSES!
But have you taken a whiff of Andy's paws lately? I don't know what that boy got into, but whatever it was, it was pretty stinky. MOUSES!
Anyway, where did you say the good wrappin' paper was, again?
Okay, okay. You don't have to tell me twice. And you CERTAINLY don't have to yell! Santa's comin', you know. He's not gonna be too happy if you're goin' around yellin' at his favourite marmalade pal. You know... ME.
Quit your hollerin' woman! I can take a hint. MOUSES!
Apparently, my friends, I, Seville the Cat, do not have access to the good wrappin' paper this year. MOUSES!
I had thought about puttin' the peep's prezzie in a box, instead of usin' wrappin' paper at all. But then I thought better of that. I mean, why waste a good box? MOUSES!
What to do; what to do...
GOT IT! I can wrap the peep's prezzie in some newspaper.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', newspapers are for trainin' puppies who are bein' paper trained, although truth be told, why peeps train puppies to read newspapers while they're doin' their business is beyond me. I mean, seriously. Can puppies even read? MOUSES!
But think of it this way. At least the surprise inside this newspaper won't be stinky. You know, like the surprise Andy left for the peep outside the litter box, the other day. MOUSES!