exit polls

Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, givin' you a play by play report on the Canadian 2021 Federal Election.

Results are comin' in, my friends.  They're comin' in, fast and furious, they are.  I've got my best peeps...  I mean, CATS.  I've got my best CATS on the job, mannin'....  I mean, CATTIN' the polls.  Nerissa's Life is here givin' you firstpaw results from the official exit polls.

That's right, my friends, Saffron and I are here at the polls, doin' the ol' exit poll thingy.  You know, askin' peeps for whom they voted.  And we're relayin' the numbers to you LIVE! from Nerissa's Life Election Central.

MOUSES!

Okay, so when I say peeps, I actually mean cheeps.

And when I say for whom, I actually mean for what.

MOUSES!

Yes, Saffron and I are here at Nerissa's Life Election Central, askin' the birdies for what kinda bird seed they voted, 'cause Peepers is puttin' up their feeders for the fall of 2021.

And we're bringin' those results to you, LIVE!

MOUSES!

Hello there Mr. Chickadee...

Mister?  Hmmm...  You may, in fact, be a Mrs.

HEY!  YOU!  Yeah, you.  You, the chickadee.  Will you kindly tell our viewers from LIVE! at Nerissa's Life Election Central, for what bird seed you voted, this year?

Uh-huh.  Uh-huh.  Yup, uh-huh.  Okay, can you repeat that, please, Sir?  Ma'am?  Whatever.  Can you please repeat what you just said?  I didn't quite catch it on account of your havin' that ol' black-oiled sunflower seed stuck in your beak, and....

OHHHH....

Okay, I get it now.

MOUSES!

To all our viewers out there, Mr. or Mrs. Chickadee voted for the black-oiled sunflower seeds.

Now I can see a big ol' blue jay over there, tossin' bird seed out of the feeder, down onto the veranda floor.  Normally, I would approach that big ol' blue jay and ask him or her for what seed he or she voted, but on account of...

Well...

Did I mention he was BIG?

Yeah, on account of him bein' a REALLY BIG bird, I'm just gonna do a little investigatin' on the ground here, and...

Okay, the big ol' blue jay has been chuckin' out the millet and canary seed and stuff.  I think it's safe to say that with my INVESTIGATIVE REPORTIN' SKILLS, we can conclude the big ol' blue jay voted for the sunflower seeds and peanuts.

That's right, my friends.  That's right!  The big ol' blue jay voted for TWO things.

HE VOTED TWICE!

Calm down, calm down out there.  I know no one is supposed to vote twice, but...

Well...

Did I mention he was BIG?

MOUSES!

Now onto Mr Woodpecker.  Mr Woodpecker, sir!  SIR!  Yeah, you.  You up there.  You.

Can you stop that peckin' there, Sir?  Please?  I CAN'T HEAR YOU ON ACCOUNT OF THE DIN OF YOUR PECK, PECK, PECKIN' AT THAT FEEDER!!!

NO, I'M NOT COMIN' UP THERE, TO YOU.  I'M NOT COMIN' UP THERE, AT ALL.  I'M A CAT, YOU SEE, AND WE CATS CAN'T FLY.  I NEED YOU TO COME ON DOWN HERE, TO ME.

*Mr Woodpecker flutters to the ground*

Thank you for givin' us a moment of your time, Sir.  Thank you for agreein' to appear here LIVE! on Nerissa's Life Election Central.  Will you please tell my viewers for what bird seed you voted?

Not seed, but suet, you say?

Hmmm...

Was suet even on the ballot?

Really!

Wow.

Okay folks, we appear to have found someone who did the ol' write-in ballot thingy.  Not sure it's gonna count as Canadian Federal Elections don't allow for write-in ballots but hey, birds will be birds, I suppose.

They're known to be flighty.

MOUSES!

And now, movin' ahead to the....

What?  You're no birdie there, Sir.  You, Sir, are a squirrel, AND SQUIRRELS AREN'T ELIGIBLE TO VOTE, you see, and...

Hey...  HEY!  Stop that.  STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!  I SAID STOP!!!

And now all your friends are comin' to join in on this assault?  And....  Stop, I tell you.  STOP!!!

Grab the cameras, Saffron.  We're high-tailin' it - LITERALLY! - into the house before we get pelted with any more acorns, by this maraudin' gang of squirrels.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, MY FRIENDS.  THAT WAS ME, SEVILLE THE CAT, BRINGIN' YOU THE LATEST  EXIT POLL NEWS HERE AT LIVE! at Nerissa's Life Election Central.......

Ouch!  That last acorn got me on the nose.

Stupid squirrels.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

don't miss the boat

Of all the no-good, moused-up, stupid things to do.

MOUSES!

Of all the no-good, moused-up, nonsensical rules to make.

MOUSES!

Peepers, what do you MEAN I don't get to vote in tomorrow's Federal Election?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN?


"You're not on the voters' list, Seville.  If you're not on the list, you can't vote."

THAT'S NOT TRUE, and I know that for a fact.  I know for a FACT that one can register at the polls ON ELECTION DAY.  For a fact, I tell you.  For a fact!  I read it on the Internet and everythin'.

MOUSES!

"You have a point, Seville, but in order to register at the polls, you have to have photo ID."

THAT'S NOT TRUE, and I know that for a fact.  I know for a FACT that one can vote WITHOUT photo ID.  For a fact, I tell you.  For a fact!  I read it on the Internet and everythin'.

MOUSES!

Don't look at me like that, Peepers.  It's true.  You can vote usin' all sorts of ID, and none of it has to have your picture.  Oh sure, by usin' a drivers license or somethin' like that, it might be a little easier.  You know, on account of your name, address, and picture bein' right there all in one spot, for the Deputy Returning Officer to see.

Of course, no Deputy Returnin' Officer in his or her right mind would ever wanna see the picture on YOUR drivers license, Peepers.  I've seen that picture and uh...  Well...  Well let's just say; Your village called.  They're lookin' for their idiot.

MOUSES!

But back to this business 'bout photo ID.  If a prospective voter doesn't wanna show anyone the picture on their drivers license makin' them look like the local village idiot like your drivers license makes you look, Peepers, they can use two other forms of ID.  Yup, they can, as long as both pieces have the voter's name on 'em, and one has the voter's address, too.

The peep narrowed her eyes and looked me up and down before speaking.  "And exactly what kind of ID do YOU have, Seville?"

Well uh...

Ummm...

Hmmm...

I have my vaccination records.  I have my rabies tag, too.  Now the tag doesn't actually have my name or address on it, but its accompanying paperwork does, and...

Don't you roll your eyes at me, Peepers.  Fact is, I HAVE ID.

"Seville, I don't think a rabies tag is an acceptable form of ID."

Well it darn well should be.  If more peeps got their rabies shots like we cats do, there'd be fewer cases of werewolf sightings and the like on Hallowe'en.

Okay, so maybe not,  'Cause you know, that's not how werewolves are made.

MOUSES!

Paw me over that list you have there, Peepers.  Let me see what kinda acceptable ID I, Seville the Cat, might have.

Birth certificate, citizenship card, passport...  Bank statement, utility bill, library card...  Student identity card, label on a prescription bottle...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!  I HAVE THAT!  I'm sure I have a prescription for something 'round here.

But I need one more.  Hmmm...  Proof of vehicle ownership, tax assessment, credit card...  Debit card, a residential lease or sub-let, a letter from a shelter or soup kitchen...

Oohhh...  PEEPERS!  Says here, a letter from a shelter will suffice.   You volunteer for a...

So not an animal shelter, then.

MOUSES!

And what about this blood donor card thingy?  If I were to donate blood for kitties havin' surgery...

Has to be people blood, you say?  Well I suppose I could donate some of yours.  Paw me over your arm, and...

Mouses, Peepers, you're in a foul mood today.  And if ANYONE has a right to be feelin' foul, it's me.  My gosh, there are about fifty different forms of acceptable ID on this here list that one can use to vote, and I have only one.

CLEARLY, THIS LIST WAS WRITTEN BY PEEPS.

BY PEEPS, FOR PEEPS...

MOUSES!

Peepers, I'm beginning to think the reason I don't get to vote on Monday October 21st, 2019 is because I'm a cat.

IS THAT WHY, PEEPERS?  IS IT?

Gosh darn it, that's speciesism, that is.  It's a bias in favour of the interests of humans.

Peeps.

MOUSES!

And me, a WORLD-RENOWNED blogging kitty, too.

MOUSES!

Well, even if I'm not gonna get to vote this year, that shouldn't stop others from doin' so.

I suppose.

So heads up there peeps:  DON'T MISS THE BOAT...  I mean, VOTE!

If you're eighteen-years-old or older, a Canadian citizen, and - APPARENTLY - a human, YOU GET TO VOTE in the 2019 Federal Election.  This is your opportunity to use your voice.  To speak up and be heard!  Don't take your right to vote for granted.  We cats aren't as fortunate as you.  We cats aren't allowed to vote.

MOUSES!

respect

At my house, the peeps have learned to respect the cat with the sharpest claws.

Okay, maybe that's not quite right.  Truth is, they respect the cat who has the sharpest wit and isn't afraid to use his claws.

And that would be me. MOUSES!

Now that we have that out of the way, let's talk some more about this thing called respect, shall we?

The other day, I heard someone say, "He don't respect me."  Now lack of respect for the English language and grammar aside, there most definitely is something to be said about the lack of respect in today's society.  As a cat and a blogger, I am faced with this lack of respect on an almost daily basis and I have to say, it's beginning to get on my nerves.  MOUSES!

Are you aware that some peeps out there don't consider me to be their equal?  It's true.

Part of that lack of respect is, I do believe, the fact that I'm a cat.  Can you believe it?  The fact that I walk on four paws instead of two, and happen to have a tail, is no reason to disrespect me. Again I must say, MOUSES!

You know, when one walks on four paws instead of two, one is far less likely to fall down. MOUSES!

For example, when I write a particularly engaging post on my blog, everyone and all their uncles assume the peep has written it.  Same thing if I happen to win an award.  Used to happen with Nissy, too.

You might find it hard to believe but it's a fact.  I've heard these people with my very own ears. "Oh, but it's really you writing," they say to the peep, winking uncontrollably like they have a whole beach full of sand in their eyes.  And although the peep always answers with, "No, it's Seville's blog," they just keep on winking.  Yup, winking up a storm.  A sandstorm, in fact.   The sandstorm of all sandstorms, to be sure.

They're trying to trip up the peep, I do believe, and it makes me worry.  Makes me worry that one day, they will trip up Peep #1 on account of her walking on only two feet.  As I mentioned earlier, walking on four paws is a far more stable way to walk.  MOUSES!

Why does everyone assume Peep #1, simply by virtue of her being a peep, is a better writer than I, Seville the Cat?  It makes no sense.  Have they actually read any of her stuff?  MOUSES!

Truth be told, the peep and I both have blogs.  At least I assume the peep still has hers.  Hasn't been updated in I don't know how long.  No, seriously, I don't know.  I'm not sure anyone does. Yes, my friends, it has been that long.  She's an incredibly inconsistent blogger.  The only thing consistent about her blogging is her inconsistency.  MOUSES!

What's more, nobody reads the peep's blog and when I say nobody, I really do mean nobody.  I could make some silly joke about a guy named Nobody being the only reader she has but honestly, even he doesn't read The Peep's Cheeps any more.  It's because she never updates it, you see.

So who's the better writer, huh?  The peep or me? Clearly, it's me.  Oh should that be I?  Hmmm... Yup, clearly it is I.  You see?  Peep probably doesn't even know that.  MOUSES!

But as a blogging kitty, I get the double-whammy lack of respect.  Not only are there those who don't respect us kitties, but there are those who don't respect us bloggers, either.  Let me tell you what happened just last week.

As you know, here in Canada, we have an election coming up.  Tomorrow, in fact.  In fact, by the time some of you read this here blog post, the election might already have been past.  What you might also already know is that in this election, peeps have to prove they are who they say they are, before they can vote.

Ignoring the whole issue that as a cat I don't get to vote which clearly indicates a great lack of respect towards the feline species...

Okay, moving on.

The other day, our weekly local paper reported that in order to vote, peeps needed to show photo ID. Something like a driver's licence.  Yup, that's what they said.  They said, well, rather they wrote, that photo ID was required.  Not helpful or useful but rather, required.

Now here's the thing.  That's not true.  It's not true at all.  Not even in the least.  And had that reporter read the blog post I had written the week before, "get out and vote," he would have known that.  MOUSES!

Some might say I'm making mountains out of molehills but to those people I would answer, molehills are mountains.  No self-respecting cat ever ignores a molehill because as cats, we like to keep track of all resident moles.

But mole counting aside, this is really serious stuff.  The fact is that in order to vote in tomorrow's election, you can use photo ID such as a driver's licence but there are all sorts of other forms of ID you can use, too.  And they don't have to have your picture on them, either.  There are well over three dozen non-photo forms of identification Elections Canada will accept, as long as one of those pieces of ID has your current address on it.  Plus, there's even a third option where you can have another voter attest to your identity.

So what happens when someone reads in the paper that they don't get to vote unless they show photo ID?  What happens to the person who reads that and doesn't have any photo ID?  I can tell you what might happen.  They just might read that and decide, since they won't be allowed to vote anyway, they won't bother going to the polling station.

Now do you see why this is such an important error?  One moment of carelessness and...   MOUSES!

For my blog post, I got my information straight from the horse's mouth.  Okay, maybe there weren't any actual horses involved.  No ponies either.  But my facts were absolutely factual.  I took them straight from the literature mailed out by Elections Canada and double-checked them on their on-line site.  The peep even spoke with an Elections Canada official although truth be told, she did that after my post had already been published.  But the bottom line is, my facts were fact and to this day, remain factual.

But back to the issue of respect or lack thereof.

Peeps naturally respect newspapers.  Read it in a paper and it's like it's written in stone. Newsflash...  Newspapers haven't been printed in stone since Bedrock's The Daily Granite went on-line.  MOUSES!

But does the public show the same respect they have for newspapers, to bloggers and more importantly, blogging kitties, too?  Sadly, no.

You see, if a blogging kitty, such as myself, publishes something contradictory to what a real newspaper publishes, it will always be assumed that the newspaper is correct and that I, as a kitty and a blogger, am not.  Obviously, this shows a lack of respect.  A lack of respect directed towards the blogging kitties of the world.  MOUSES!

When you're publishing something important, you've gotta check your facts. Check 'em once, twice and even thrice.

What do you think would happen if a Toronto paper accidentally published misinformation about the score at a Blue Jays' game?  A riot, most likely. Good thing that didn't happen. MOUSES!

And for anyone reading this blog post before tomorrow's election...  You do NOT need photo ID in order to vote! You do need identification, yes. It does not need to be of the photographic kind.  And if you have any questions at all, check with Elections Canada at elections.ca or call 'em up at 1-800-463-6868,  They'll tell you what you really do need and exactly what you don't.

And most importantly of all, show respect for your country and respect for democracy by voting tomorrow.   October 19th is the big day!  Canadian citizens, 18-years-old and older, each have one vote so VOTE TOMORROW or forever hold your peace.  Or at least until the next election.  MOUSES!

get out and vote

Give me a V.  V!

Give me an O.  O!

Give me a T.  T!

Give me an E.  E!

What does it spell?  It spells, uhhh...  Oh yeah,  VOTE!!!

BREAKING NEWS...  In less than two weeks, Canadian cats and peeps, alike, will be heading out to the polls to vote in our upcoming federal election.  That's right, my friends, voting day is Monday October 19th.  It's only twelve days away.

What's that Peepers?  What?  Are you sure?  Really?  MOUSES!

I have been informed, my friends, that as a cat, I do not get to vote.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

Humph!  Smacks of specism, that does.  SMACKS OF SPECISM, FOR SURE.

To tell you the truth, I had been wondering why I hadn't yet received my voter registration card in the mail.

Peepers, let me see that pamphlet thing from Elections Canada.  Paw it over, would you?  Hmmm... Uh-huh...  Yup, just as I thought...  HMMM....

But Peepers, I meet all the necessary qualifications to vote.  It says right here that in order to vote in this election I must be a Canadian citizen, be at least eighteen-years-old and be able to prove my identity and my address.  I'm all three of those things.

No, Peepers, that's not right.  I can't be stopped from voting just because I'm a cat.  This here pamphlet says absolutely NOTHING about having to be a peep.  MOUSES!

But back to those voting qualifications.  Peepers, I was born right here in Canada so that makes me Canadian.  In cat years, I'm way more than eighteen.  I arrived on your doorstep in 2008 and was already fully grown so that means I'm at least nine-years-old TIMES SEVEN.  Do the math, Peepers  I'm at least sixty-three.  Mouses I'm old.  Sixty-three is way older than eighteen even if I don't feel a day over twenty-five.  Plus, I can prove my identity and address.  As a blogging kitty, I get mail all the time.  Sometimes even by courier.  And I have prescriptions and stuff from my doctor.  Remember when I had the crystals?  Do you happen to have those old prescription bottles on paw, Peepers?  Oohhh...  and I have my vaccination records too.  I have a rabies tag around here somewhere...  Let me go look.

Okay, I'm back.  Couldn't find the old prescription bottles from when I had the crystals but I've got proof of having had my rabies shots.  That should prove I am who I am, for sure.  Bet most peeps don't have proof of having had their rabies shots.  MOUSES!

What do you mean I still can't vote, Peepers? Someone strip me of my Canadian citizenship or something?  MOUSES!

Okay, so maybe I don't get to vote.  I don't agree with it at all.  Who ever heard of not allowing cats to vote? I find this situation to be completely unfair but it is was it is.  Looks like I'm just gonna have to live with it...  this time.  Next election?  We'll see.

But at least my peeps get to vote.  Yup, they've got their voter registration cards and everything.  They have proof of their identity and address, too.  They're good to go.

In case you hadn't heard, you need to take more than just your voter registration card when you go to vote. That's right, those registration cards are useful to take.  They might even speed up the process a bit but they can't be used to prove your identity or address.  No sirree, you need to take more than just that card with you, when you go to vote.  Did you all know about that?

In order to vote this time around, you need to show one piece of ID with your name, address and picture like a driver's license.  If you don't have that, you need to show two pieces of ID with your name and one must have your current address.  A bank statement will work.  Or a utility bill.  Or a student ID.  Or a health card or a label on a prescription container or a debit card or even a library card.  There's quite a list of acceptable forms of identification and the full list can be obtained from Elections Canada.  And if none of your ID shows your current address, you can take an oath.  You still need two pieces of ID with your name and you'll need someone in the same polling division, as you, to attest to your address.

Sounds a little complicated but really, it's worth it, for sure.  We all...  I mean, you peeps all have one vote and each and every one of you should use it.

I heard my peeps say they're not waiting until the 19th to vote.  That's right, you don't have to wait! Advance polls will be open from Friday October 9th to Monday October 12th, inclusive, right across the land.  Your voter registration cards will tell you exactly where those advance polls are.  Voting in an advance poll will help you avoid any last-minute surprises, if you know what I mean.

And speaking of those registration cards, CHECK 'EM NOW.  Some were mailed out with mistakes, I have heard.  Is your name spelled correctly?  Is the address right?  Is your polling station within a reasonable distance and not several hundred miles away?  If there are any mistakes at all, contact Elections Canada immediately.  And if you're having trouble navigating the site, call up one of the local candidates.  They'll help guide you through the process to ensure you're correctly registered, for sure.

You know, there are peeps in this world who would die to have the right to vote.  Peeps have died for the right to vote.  Literally died.  Voting is such an important thing to do.

What's that?  You don't know for whom you should vote?  WHAT?  That's not an excuse to not vote.  That's not an excuse at all.  That's a reason to get out there and educate yourself so that you do know for whom to vote.  As Canadians, it's our responsibility to educate ourselves for voting, you see.

What did you say?  You don't think your vote will count?  You don't think your vote matters?  NONSENSE.  Every vote matters and every vote counts. And in this election, with the three major political parties in such a tight race, each and every vote is absolutely essential.

Have you ever heard that saying?  The one about an ocean being made up of tiny drops of water.  Think of your vote as a drop of water.  Your drop is equally as important as the next drop and the next drop and the next one after that. And without all of those drops, there is no ocean.  Each drop is equally important.  Every drop counts.  Every one matters.

As Canadians, peeps each have one vote.  Each vote matters.  EVERY VOTE COUNTS. Canadians don't just have a right to vote; they have a responsibility.  DEMOCRACY IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.  MOUSES!