oh dear...

Oh dear...

Oh dearie, dearie me...

Oh dear!

Wait a minute.  Just hold on, there...

Dear?

Nope, that is not correct.  It's deer.

Better.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' those deer have been munchin' on the peep's roses again.

Well, I'm sure they would if they could, but they can't 'cause they've already eaten all of those.

MOUSES!

Yup, we've had deer.  We've probably had deer all spring and all summer long.  First they ate all the tulips.  Then they ate the roses.  Oh, and they ate Peepers' broccolini, too.

Who the mouses wants to eat broccolini?  It tastes kinda like broccoli, you know.  And who the mouses wants to eat THAT?

Apparently, deer do.

MOUSES!

But even though those deer were usin' my yard as an all-you-can-eat buffet all summer long...

And even though we found the damage they did, over and over again...

We never once saw any deer.

I had almost convinced the ol' peep it wasn't deer eatin' her stuff, but rather little green aliens from outer space.

Almost.

I was THIS close to convincin' her of that.

'Til one day last week...

WHEN SHE ACTUALLY SAW DEER.

Right there in my backyard!

MOUSES!

Yup, a mama and two babies.  Yup, a mama deer and her two babies were right out there in my backyard.

Well, not exactly babies.  Probably the equivalent of teens.

Twin teens.  TWINS!

I bet that mama was sayin' oh dear.

MOUSES!

And in other news, Peepers' daffy down dilly bulbs arrived yesterday in the mail.  She's gonna plant 'em where she planted tulips, last fall.

Bet they won't wanna eat those.

The daffies, I mean.

But they sure did enjoy eatin' the tulips.

MOUSES!

interlopin' antelope

Gosh darn it, Peepers, we've got some interlopers, for sure.

And FYI, you're gonna have to do somethin' about that.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Interlopers.  You know, interlopers.  Someone or somethin' who worms their way into somethin' or somewhere where they're not wanted.  Interlopers.  Do I have to explain everythin' to you?

MOUSES!

Wait a minute.  Now that I think about it...

Now that I think about it, they weren't actually interlopers.  They were antelope.  Yeah, it was antelope that I meant.

Silly me.

MOUSES!

But now that we've cleared all that up, it would be best for you to start dealin' with those antelope right now.  If they start playin' around here, they'll wreck havoc with my nip plants, come spring.

And then they'll be interlopin' antelope, for sure.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

We don't have antelope here?

Hmmm...

Nope, I'm pretty sure you're wrong 'bout that, there, ol' peep of mine.  Which, when you think about it, is somethin' you're probably used to by now.

Bein' wrong, I mean.

MOUSES!

But like I was sayin', you're gonna have to deal with those antelope.  Let 'em know they should play ELSEWHERE.

MOUSES!

And while you're at it, you could...

Oh what the mouses are you gripin' about now?

Like I said, Peepers, there were antelope.  Right out there in our yard.  Well technically, they weren't in the yard.  YET.  They were still out on the road when I saw 'em, but chances are they were on their way into our yard.  Which would be fine if they would confine their munchin' to YOUR plants and stuff, but I'm worried 'bout my nip plants, you see, and...

WHAT THE MOUSES ARE YOU GRIPIN' ABOUT NOW?

Hmmm...

Hmmm....

Well...

Well yeah, I suppose they COULD have been deer.  A big ol' horde of antelope-impostering, hungry ol' deer.

IMPOSTERING IS TOO AN ACTUAL WORD.

I used it in a sentence and everythin'.

MOUSES!

FINE.  What I saw out there early this mornin' MIGHT have been three or four deer, and not an actual horde.

BUT THEY STILL COULD GET INTO MY NIP PLANTS, COME SPRING.

So best you do somethin' about them now.

Like what?  Well, I don't know.  Offer 'em up an alternative menu of tulips and roses like you did last year.  I'm sure if you feed 'em enough of your silly ol' flowers, they'll leave my precious catnip alone.

Seriously, I really do have to explain everythin' to you, Peepers, don't I.

Not a question.  It's a statement of fact.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.