Of all the moused-up, mousin', no good for nothin', rascally rascals...Awww.... MOUSES!
LOCK HIM UP! I say.
LOCK HIM UP!
That darned, moused-up weasel...
I mean, RODENT.
I MEAN, GROUNDHOG.
LOCK HIM UP.
I'm tellin' ya, that ol' Shubenacadie Sam has some serious answerin' to do.
MOUSES!
It was less than two months ago, when there he was, spoutin' his lies, all over the Internet. "I didn't see my shadow," he said. "It's gonna be an early spring, for sure."
Lies, lies... ALL OF THEM, LIES!
The very ePitome of FaKe News, for sure.
MOUSES!
And now, here we are, at the END of March, well past the official start of spring...
And where is our spring, you ask?
Well I can tell you where it isn't. It most certainly isn't here.
MOUSES!
But do you know what is? Do you know what is here, my friends?
I'll tell ya what's here. I'll tell you what's outside. I'll tell you what's outside, for sure.
SNOW.
Now in what universe does a kitty associate spring, with snow?
MOUSES!
And not only is there snow, it's even kinda cold outside.
MOUSES!
And what does that rascally rabbit...
I mean, VARMINT...
I MEAN, GROUNDHOG, have to say? What is Shubenacadie Sam sayin' about his false forecasting 'bout an early spring?
Just because I SAID there'd be an early spring, you didn't have to believe me.
Yup, that's an exact quote, for sure.
I have it on tape, and everythin'.
MOUSES!
Oh how quickly his tune has changed from only a mere few weeks ago.
You believed me because you WANTED to believe me, Seville. You WANTED an early spring. Never once did I FORCE you to believe it would actually happen.
MOUSES!
And I CERTAINLY never made you repeat what I said.
Sam, what the mouses do you think the share button is for?
It's like ol' Shubie was sittin' down in his Mama Nature's basement, sluggin' back the nip - or whatever varmints take - just Makin' up FanciFul, Fictional Forecasts for Sale.
MOUSES!
Well! Well I know what I'll do. I know what I'll do, for sure. The NEXT time I want a weather forecast, I'll...
I'll...
I'LL...
Oh for the love of mouses, I honestly don't know WHAT I'll do. I could listen to the weatherpeeps, I suppose, but they're not really known for havin' accurate forecastin' abilities, either.
MOUSES!
