thirty-two weeks

Social distancin', people.  SOCIAL DISTANCIN'!!!

What?  What's that you're sayin' there, little birdy?

Oh.

Hmmm...

Well then...

Social distancin' birdies.  SOCIAL DISTANCIN'!!!

I'm tellin' ya, those birdies are gettin' WAY TOO CLOSE to me, for comfort.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', why would I, Seville THE CAT, mind little birdies gettin' close enough for me to reach out a paw, and...

'Cause peeps frown over my reachin' out my paws to touch birdies, that's why.

MOUSES!

If you remember, my last blog post was about those blue jays eatin' us out of house and home and if you're wonderin' if they're still doin' that, wonder no more.  They are still doin' it, for sure.

MOUSES!

But this here post isn't just 'bout blue jays.  No sirree.  This here post is 'bout blue jays and chickadees and woodpeckers, too!

Not to mention a squirrel.

MOUSES!

This mornin' I made myself comfy on the love seat out there on the veranda waitin' for the Bird TV show to begin, when all of a sudden, the veranda EXPLODED with a flurry of activity.  Next thing I knew, there were birds of all sorts flyin' about.  No fewer than six blue jays were knockin' about the cylindrical feeders and scatterin' seed all over the ground, chickadees were dartin' in and out of the globe theatre..  I mean, feeder, and a woodpecker was hangin' from the suet one and peckin' away.  Mere minutes later, a big ol' grey squirrel came along and decided to join in on the fun.

Now you'd think that I, Seville THE CAT, would appreciate such a lively show, but...

BUT THE BIRDIES WERE GETTIN' WAY TOO CLOSE TO ME, FOR SURE!

HAVE THEY NEVER HEARD OF SOCIAL DISTANCIN', THESE BIRDS?

I'm tellin' ya, peeps here in Nova Scotia have been social distancin' for the last one hundred and seventy-four million, one hundred and eighty-two thousand, four hundred cat seconds, due to this ol' pandemic thingy, but birds?

APPARENTLY BIRDS CAN'T SOCIAL DISTANCE FOR EVEN ONE HOUR.

MOUSES!

Now I don't expect them to social distance 'mongst themselves.  I did, but I don't anymore, for that was a waste of expectations, for sure.

BUT THE LEAST THEY CAN DO IS SOCIAL DISTANCE FROM ME.

Why, you ask?  Why do I want those blue jays and chickadees and woodpeckers to keep six paws away from me at all times?

Well...

Well 'cause I'm a cat.  And cats, given the opportunity of havin' a blue jay sit there starin' at 'em merely inches away, are likely to succumb to temptation, and...

DON'T GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A TWIST THERE, WOMAN!  I TOLD 'EM TO SOCIAL DISTANCE AND THEY DIDN'T, SO IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF I CATCH A BIRDIE OR TWO.  NOT MY FAULT AT ALL!  IF THEY WERE ABIDIN'  BY THE PUBLIC HEALTH DIRECTIVES, THEY'D BE OUT OF MY REACH AND YOUR KNICKERS WOULD REMAIN UNTWISTED.

MOUSES!

As I was sayin' before havin' to explain somethin' to Peepers, when birdies fail to social distance, cats are likely to succumb to temptation and get in trouble from their peeps.

That cheeky blue jay is just lucky he can fly faster than I can swat.

MOUSES!

 ***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

birds of a feather

Birds of a feather...

THEY BE FLOCKIN' TOGETHER.

MOUSES!

And when you think about it, they're not unlike those two freaky long-haired marmie brothers of mine.  You know the ones: Rushton and Andy.

Yeah, those two are always hangin' out together.  If you see one, the other is never far behind.

Behind?  What am I sayin'?  More likely, they'll be side by side.  Side by side, schemin' and plottin' and conspirin' together.  Probably against me.  Those two are in cahoots, you see.

MOUSES!

Of course, their constant hangin' out together does have its advantages.

Firstly, if I know where one is, I almost always know where the other is, too.  It's actually easier to avoid long-haired freaky brothers when there's only the one GROUPING, so to speak, to avoid.

And secondly, if I feel the desire to smacky-paw one, I can smacky-paw the other at the very same time.  Often with the very same smacky-paw, too!  Kinda like killin' two birds with one stone.

Not that I, Seville the Cat, would ever kill a bird with a stone!  Personally, I don't kill birdies, period.  Killin' birdies does not bode well for the local channels of Bird TV.

And speakin' of birds...

Those birdies be flockin' TOGETHER, for sure.

Now I don't know what kinda birds they are, but there must be at least a MILLION of 'em.

Okay, so maybe not a million.  Probably more like a couple hundred thousand.

Okay, so maybe not a couple hundred thousand.  Maybe more like 'bout ten thousand.

Okay, so maybe not ten thousand.  Now that I think about it...   Well...  Well it's probably more like fifty or so.  Yeah, that sounds about right.

But it's the BIGGEST flock of fifty birdies, for sure.  Biggest fifty bird sized flock, EVER.  It's HUGE!  It's...

Okay, so it's like a few dozen birds.

MOUSES!

But you should see 'em, my friends.  They've been performin' on the local Bird TV network for the last couple weeks.

Peep #1 puts out some bird food and the next thing you know, they're there, perchin' on all the trees, waitin' for the peep to go away so that they can come down and eat.  It's really quite the sight to see.

They're not too talkative, though.  More interested in eatin', I do believe.

And speakin' of eatin'...

A kitty should NEVER confuse Bird TV with a TV dinner.  They are NOT the same thing, at all.

MOUSES!

Not that I, Seville the Cat, would ever confuse the two.  Like I said earlier, I'm not into the killin' of birdies.

Not even mocking birds.

MOUSES!

Hmmm...  But if we're talking 'bout turkeys...

But that doesn't count, for the turkey I eat comes out of a tin, and tinned turkey is decidedly different, somehow.

I'm not even sure it's a bird.  It sure doesn't look like one.

MOUSES!

Plus, tinned turkey is my favourite, and there's no way, no how, I'm gonna stop eatin' my favourite din-dins.  I CERTAINLY couldn't stop cold turkey and that is for sure.

MOUSES!

But seriously, I do believe, it is safe to say that those birdies flocking to my yard are safe and sound from me.

But from those two freaky long-haired brothers of mine...

Okay, so they don't kill birds, either.  'Cause you know, it's kinda hard for a turkey-sized cat to catch a lithe little birdie.  By the time they caught up with one, they'd be all outta breath!

MOUSES!

Well...  Perhaps I'm exaggeratin' a bit.  I must admit, my freaky brothers are actually very agile for their size.  They're pretty quick, too.  They're both Olympic champions when it comes to sprinting for treats.

MOUSES!

Nah, even if we could, we cats would never kill any of the Bird TV cast.  Not even for ratings!  We cats are civilised creatures.  We don't live in some kinda disreputable weird and surreal, reality television world.

Besides, although we like our food fresh, those birdies are just a little TOO fresh, if you know what I mean.

And speakin' of fresh...

Oh my mouses, you shoulda heard the lip that Blue Jay gave the peep when she slept in the other mornin' and was late with his food.

MOUSES!

this is gonna be great

Looks like Bird TV is expandin'.  This is gonna be great.

The other day, Peep #1 was putterin' around in the garden, not doin' much but makin' a mess, really, when she finally made somethin' worthwhile. She made a discovery.

Nestled in and around the big multiflora rose in my bark yard, were a whole bunch of baby multiflora roses.  Only, they weren't really babies.  They were actually quite big.

You see, this particular rose bush, arches.  Yeah...  it makes arches.  Its branches or whatever grow up and then out and then arch right over and down until the tips of those branches touch the earth. This bush is one of the many sources of my faerie bowers about which I blogged a couple of summers ago.  Those branches arch over like a bridge but the rose isn't that big so peeps can't cross that particular bridge.  Neither can cats.  We're too heavy.  A squirrel might make it over. Maybe one of those little red squirrels but not the big monstrous grey ones.  Perfect sized bridge for faeries though, I should think.  But I digress...

We were talkin' about how the branches arched over and how the tips of those branches touched the earth or in this case, lawn or somethin' tryin' to pass itself off as a lawn.  Anywho...  the peep discovered that in a whole bunch of places where the tips of those branches had touched the ground, they had sprouted roots!

These baby roses probably took root last summer and fall, says the peep, but she never noticed 'cause of all the leaves and flowers and whatnot on the bushes.  Not to mention the faeries.

So after makin' her great discovery, Peep #1 got out the spade and some plant pots and potted up a whole whack of those rose bushes.  About a dozen of 'em, I believe.  Some will be donated to the plant sale for the animal shelter but five of them are gonna be used in the design of a new set right here in my garden.  That's right...  Bird TV is gettin' a new and improved set for its 2015 season.  Yoo-hoo!  YOO-HOO!

You see, those multiflora roses - or Rosa multiflora for those who wish to use their botanical name - are of great interest to the wildlife livin' in my garden as well as the peeps livin' in my house.  In early summer, the bushes are covered in flowers with a most heavenly, honey-like scent.  Peep #1 walks about with her snoot in the air, breathin' in the delicious scent of the roses and the bees come for the pollen, in droves.  Those bees pollinate the flowers so that in the fall, little rose hips form.  The birds love 'em.

Once, I think I saw a pheasant over by the big mama bush but I'm not sure that he was actually after the rose hips.  Might have been after somethin' else.  And yes, the rose bush is now a mama on account of her havin' all those babies and whatnot.

But the Robin Channel!  The robins who star in the Robin Show over on the Robin Channel....  they LOVE those little rose hips.

Okay, I'm not actually sure that they're robins.  Everyone 'round here calls 'em robins except for my second peep who calls 'em North American thrushes.  They do have red breasts like robins but it's quite possible they're actually thrushes in costume or somethin'.  Those Bird TV make-up artists might have put some blusher on their breasts or whatever.  Who knows?  Could Peep #2 be right about this? Stranger things have happened...

But whether they're robins or thrushes disguised as robins, they love the little rose hips that grow on those bushes. Earlier this year, I watched 'em absolutely devour every single rose hip on the multiflora rose in the back yard and the one in the front, too.

The Robin Show was extremely excitin' this year on account of all the robins, or whatever they're callin' themselves these days, eatin' those rose hips and then flyin' up to the old oak tree which does not have a yellow ribbon on it and then flying back down for more hips.

MOUSES!  I just had a thought.  Maybe...  Maybe the Robin Show is starrin' North American thrushes pretendin' to be robins.  They're actors.  Actors do that kind of thing all the time, right?  I mean, did William Shatner really fly around in space in a starship or was he just actin'?  And how 'bout that Garfield?  Did he really eat all that lasagna or did he really just act the part?  You decide. Oh, and how 'bout those peeps starrin' in the Senate scandal?  You know, that show filmed in Ottawa.  Wait a minute, those peeps weren't actors.  Those peeps were politicians.  Silly me.

Anywho...  back to the Robin Show on Bird TV.  Looks like they're gonna have a super-duper nicely expanded set for upcoming seasons with all those new rose bushes goin' in. Bet they'll expand the cast and everything.  Bet they'll expand the season!  Oohhh....  I can't wait.  Bet it's gonna win an Emmy, for sure.