say it with love

If you're gonna say it, say it with love.

MOUSES!

As many of  you already know, tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  A day for peeps to tell their fur-babies how much they love 'em.

Yeah, yeah...  A day for us fur-babies to tell our peeps how much we love them, too.

MOUSES!

Well as you can imagine, I've been busy planning my Valentine's Day celebrations for quite some time now.  I don't wanna be caught at the last minute without a gift for the peeps, you see.  Not like last year, 'cause let me tell you somethin', a kitty forgets 'bout Valentine's Day ONE YEAR, and a kitty never hears the end of it, for sure.

MOUSES!

So...

So the other mornin', Peep #1 picked me up and popped me onto the family room chair to give me a pill or somethin' stupid like that.  Now normally, I'm a very good kitty when it comes to takin' meds and stuff.  NORMALLY, I'm super good, for sure.  In fact, one might even say I'm THE BEST IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, but...

But this particular mornin', I had been preoccupied plannin' my Valentine's Day celebrations.  Gettin' ahead of the game, so to speak.  In fact, I had been SO preoccupied, I had forgotten to make my mornin' trip to the ol' litter box.  I was way too busy to be dealin' with mundane stuff like that, and I figured I'd scoot on over to the box a little while later.  You know, when I was all done planning and scheming and...  Uh...  Planning, and stuff.  That sorta thing.

MOUSES!

Well the next thing I knew, Peep #1 was pickin' me up.  I squirmed a bit, lettin' her know I had a full bladder and that she might wanna take it easy there, and...

Picture it:  Me, Seville the Cat, up on the big chair in the family room, lyin' on my tummy, my tail end directed toward the peep, and...

And as you can imagine...

Well...

Well, I peed upon the peep.

Oh, and it was a really good pee, too.  Mornin' pees always are, you see.

MOUSES!

Peep #2 said, "I think that's supposed to be lucky."

Peep #1 was not amused.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, I looked up at the peep and said, "Sorry 'bout that, Peepers, but uh...  But um...  Hmmm..."

"I hope you weren't making a statement," Peep #1 said to me.

"Oh no, I just really needed to pee."

We locked eyes for a moment, the peep and I.  Then I added, "But if I WERE makin' a statement, I would have been makin' it with love.  Valentine's Day is comin' up and so uh..  Um...  So EVERYTHIN' I do right now is most definitely done with love."

Oddly enough, the peep didn't buy that.  Nope, not one bit.  Methinks she's still expectin' a prezzie from me, but she may be in for a big ol' disappointment on that front, on account of my havin' accidentally eaten the catnip I was plannin' on savin' for her, so I'm thinkin'...

I'm thinkin' I'm gonna just spin this peeing-on-peeps-with-love thing a bit more, makin' her think she already got a REALLY GOOD prezzie from me.

'Cause you know, it was a REALLY GOOD PEE.

And if she doesn't buy THAT, I'll remind her how fortunate she was that it was...

You know...

ONLY PEE.

MOUSES!

GRRR...

Oof!

Ugh.

GRRR...

Mouses woman, watch where you're puttin' my tail.

Three legs in?  You think that's gonna stop me?  THINK AGAIN, Peepers.  As long as I've got one leg not in the carrier...

TOO LATE!  I managed to get a second leg out.  Haha!  And now for a thir....

GRRR...

I looked about, furtively.  What to do, what to do...  How could I make my escape?

I KNOW!

Pssssssssssssss...

Yup, you heard right, my friends.  I, Seville the Cat, peed.  I Peed uPon the PeeP.

MOUSES!

Of course, since my hind legs and tail were actually inside the carrier at the time...

Okay, so I, Seville the Cat, managed to pee on the towel in the carrier, and not upon the peep.

MOUSES!

But then, do you know what she did next?

DO YOU?

Well I'll TELL you what she did next.

The peep, bein' a peep, stuffed the rest of me inside the carrier, and managed to shut its door, tight.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, I thought she'd at least let me out and give me a chance to clean myself up.  You know, while she kept herself busy cleaning up the crate.

After all, that IS what she did last time.

Of course, now that I think about it, the LAST time...  Hmmm...  You know, I think I kinda recall peein' on the peep TWICE, the last time she was puttin' me into a crate.  Once with the first attempt, and then again whilst she was tryin' to get me back inside the crate after cleanin' out...  Well...  Said crate.

Guess she learned a lesson, huh?

And who knew my peep could learn anythin' new?  I mean, they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  Who knew new tricks could be taught to a slightly used peep?

MOUSES!

Peepers!  Careful with how you're handling this crate.  I AM in it, you know.  Stop jostling me about like that.

MOUSES!

Humph.  The last time I went to see the doctor for blood work, I was put in a super duper large metal cage thingy.  Now I say, "case thingy," on account of it not bein' an actual cage.  Oh sure, it looked like a cage.  It even smelled like a cage.  But the nurse said it wasn't a cage, at all.  She said - as she shoved me inside - that it was more like a special, enclosed pedestal or THRONE.

But anyway...

Anyway, the last time I was there, my doctor crawled right inside my special, enclosed pedestal slash throne with me.  Can you believe it?  Yup, that's just what she did.  I guess she wanted special treatment, too.  Special treatment reserved for special kitties like me.

But the last time I went to see the doctor, I wasn't nearly as annoyed with Peep #1 as I am today.

Plus, as I mentioned earlier, the LAST TIME I went, I managed to pee ON the peep, as well as the inside of the carrier.

But THIS time...

I WAS DEPRIVED.

So...

So this time, if Doctor T crawls into the special, enclosed pedestal slash throne with me...

Let's just say, they don't call it a throne for nothin'.

MOUSES!

the break-in

Seville pawed at the door. Grabbing the doorknob between both front paws, he tried to twist it open but to no avail.  "Awww... MOUSES!  Peep has gone and locked my office door."  He sat back on his haunches, debating what to do next.

"Peep #1 is out in the garden," Seville's brother, Rushton, informed him. "Why don't you just go ask her to open up the door?"

"Nah, that won't work," muttered Seville.  "I'm thinking there's some reason I'm not supposed to be in the office by myself."

"Probably has something to do with your occasional spraying issues," suggested Rushy.

Seville glared at Rushton.  "You pee on a peep ONE time and ya never hear the end of it."

"Only the once?" questioned Rushton.  "I'm pretty sure it was at least twice."

"Nope, just the once.  Well just the once for Peep #1.  I might have peed on Peep #2 too but I'm pretty sure I only peed once per peep.  These things happen.  They can't be helped.  But my point is, peeps never let these things go.  If Nissy were here, he would say MOUSES!"

"Yup," Rushton nodded in agreement, "Nissy would say MOUSES! to that, for sure."

The two cats sat in silence, staring at the locked office door.

Several minutes passed before Rushton finally spoke up.  "Well what are you going to do?  Today's Sunday and you have a blog post to write."

"I know...  I know..." muttered Seville.  "Wait, I do know!  I'll pick the lock.  Should be easy enough. Peeps do it on television all the time.  I need a hairpin or something, I think.  Would you happen to have a hairpin on paw, Rushy?"

Rushton rolled his eyes.  "I may be a long-haired kitty but I most definitely do not use hairpins."

"No matter.  I see something else I can use."  Reaching over to his brother, Seville plucked a long, white whisker. "This will work nicely," he smiled.

"Ouch!" Rushton cried.  "For mousin' out loud...  That hurt!  I'm getting out of here before you pull out any more of my whiskers.  You had better watch out or I'll go tell the peep what you're doing."

"Tell if you like, Rushy, but having given me that whisker makes you an accomplice.  You had better keep that in mind."

"I didn't give you anything.  You STOLE that...  Awww...  MOUSES!" and with that, Rushton headed into the kitchen to look for a snack.

Seville beamed when he heard the locking mechanism on the office door make a welcoming click. The doorknob turned easily now and he pushed open the door.  "Now to get to work," and he trotted over to the desk.  Once turned on, the computer hummed to life.

"Whatcha doing?" Mason asked after running into the office and plunking her tail down next to Seville.  "Rushy said you were starting work on your blog post."

Seville glanced over at his sister, Mason.  Noticing that she appeared to be out of breath he asked, "Better question is, what were you doing?  You're panting."

"I was outside in the garden, supervising Peep #1.  She's digging up primroses for the animal shelter plant sale," answered Mason.

"The peep is selling off the primroses?  Nissy's primroses?  MOUSES!"

"Just the extras.  I was very careful to allow her to dig up only the extras.  The ones we don't need."  Mason began to wash a paw but between licks, added, "Besides, the sale is still two weeks away.  If she digs up any of the wrong ones, we can just plant them back in the garden when she's not looking."

Seville nodded in agreement.  "Yeah, we've done that before.  Drives the peep crazy."

"I think you mean crazier," giggled Mason, emphasising the 'er' at the end of the word.  She began to work on washing her other front paw before asking, "What are you going to blog about?"

"Not sure yet.  Hmmm....  Password!  Blogger wants a password?  MOUSES!"

"Nissy was very pro passwords," Mason informed Seville.  "Surely you knew that."

"Someone looking for a password?" Anderson asked, strutting into the office, flipping his floofy tail this way and that.  "Nissy lock you out of the blog?"

"Looking that way."  Seville typed in MOUSES! only to find that it wasn't correct.  "MOUSES!"

"Try nip," suggested Anderson.

"Or niphead," offered Mason.

"How about cheesynippizza?" offered Andy.

Seville typed in FursibsDriveYouCrazy but alas, that didn't work either.

"Why not just go and ask Peep #1?" suggested Mason.  "I'm pretty sure she knows all the passwords Nissy used."

"No....  She doesn't know I'm here in the office," explained Seville, rubbing his temple with a paw.

"Oh yeah," nodded Mason.  "It's because of your spraying issues, isn't it?"

Seville rolled his eyes to the sky.  "I've said it before and I'll say it again.  You pee on a peep once...."

"Two peeps, once each," Mason quickly added.

"...and you never hear the end of it.  Peeps just never let these things go."

"Unlike Seville," Anderson whispered in Mason's ear, "who thinks nothing of letting go when peeing on peeps."

"MOUSES!" cried Seville.

Feeling a presence standing behind them, all three cats turned slowly to find Peep #1 standing there, hands on hips and looking rather displeased.  They all spun their heads back to face the computer screen in unison, donning the most innocent-looking expressions possible.


"My little blogmeister," said the peep.  "Nissy's Blogger password was my little blogmeister, no spaces."

Seville typed in the suggested password and the blog opened at last.  "I'm in!  Thanks Peepers.  You're a peep.  And I mean that only in the most nicest of ways."

"I know you do," said Peep #1, giving Seville a kiss on the back of his head.  "Just don't spray anything in here, okay?  No spraying allowed."

"I only..." began Seville before stopping himself short.

Sometimes it was better to just let things go, he thought to himself.  Arguing with the peep about the difference between peeing once on each of two peeps and peeing on one peep, twice, could wait for another day.  Maybe he could blog about it sometime. Yup, definitely a good blog post idea but not for today.  Today he would blog about....

MOUSES!