Showing posts with label daylight savings time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daylight savings time. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 November 2020

thirty-three weeks


...  AND AN HOUR.


Cat hour, that is.


MOUSES!


Yup, I've been stuck here in this ol' house with the peeps for thirty-three weeks now, plus one extra hour on account of Daylight Standard Time kickin' in last night, which means I'VE BEEN STUCK HERE IN THIS OL' HOUSE WITH THE PEEPS FOR ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-NINE MILLION, SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY-EIGHT THOUSAND CAT SECONDS.


And that's a whole lotta time, for sure.


MOUSES!


So word in the alley is, cats and peeps, far and wide, have been wonderin' what I did with that whole extra hour this mornin'.


Well...


Well...


Well I did what any respectable kitty would do and slept right through it.


MOUSES!


You know, peeps are up in arms - and probably legs, too - cloggin' up my social media, complaining 'bout the ol' changin' of the clocks thing, and I'm wonderin'...


DON'T YOU HAVE ANY BETTER THINGS TO DO?


I mean...


I mean...


I mean, you got a whole extra hour of sleep last night.


WHAT'S THERE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?


MOUSES!


Yeah, yeah, their CIRCADIAN RHYTHMS are all outta whack.  Well let me tell you somethin', peeps out there: circadian rhythms are detrimentally affected by stress, too, so gettin' all stressed out 'cause I, Seville the Cat, got to have an extra hour of sleep last night and didn't have to wake up 'til after the sun rose this mornin', isn't gonna help your cause much now, is it.


Not a question; it's a statement of fact.


MOUSES!


And what's more...


And what's more...


And what's more, you peeps don't know how lucky you are.  First of all, you peeps get to choose what time to get up, when you get to go to bed, and when brekkies will be served, not to mention lunches, sup-sups, and snacks.  YOU PEEPS get to make all the rules.  YOU PEEPS are in control of the clocks!


You should try dealin' with an out of whack circadian rhythm when you're a cat.


MOUSES!


So what if my tummy was grumblin' this mornin' when brekkies were served an hour late?


SO WHAT?


I got an extra hours sleep out of that.  PLUS, my brekkies bein' an hour later than normal was the perfect opportunity for me to give Peepers the ol' stink eye with good reason.  PLUS, I managed to convince her to give me a larger brekkie than normal on account of those tummy rumbles.  PLUS, did I mention how I got in an extra hour of sleep?


And you all know what THAT means...


It means I'll be extra well rested this evenin' and ready for Midnight zoomies at eleven, instead of twelve.


Or will that be at one?


That part always confuses me.


It'll be zoomie time when I'M ready to zoom, that's when.  'Cause although you peeps might have control of the clocks, I, SEVILLE THE CAT, have control over zoomin'.


MOUSES!



 ***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

Sunday, 8 March 2020

the new eight

Hey Peepers!

HEY PEEPERS!

HEY PEEPERS!

Oh good, you're awake.

MOUSES!

Come on, Peepers.  COME ON!  It's time to get up.

Why?

*cue music*


It's the most...  wonderful time...  of the year...

NO, it's not Christmas.

Silly peep.

MOUSES!

Peepers, it's Daylight Savings Time Day!  You know, the day the clocks spring forward a whole hour.  Today is the day!  Today is the DAY!

What's that?

NO....

No Peepers.  No, Daylight Savings Time is a GOOD thing.  Yup, it is a good thing, for sure.

Why?

'Cause I say so, that's why.

MOUSES!

Peepers, from today on in, ALL SPRING AND ALL SUMMER LONG, my brekkies are gonna be served a WHOLE HOUR EARLIER.  Why Peepers, because of Daylight Savings Time, seven is the new eight.  The sun says seven, but the clock says eight.

In other words, the clock says it's time for brekkies.

MOUSES!

And it's not just brekkies, either.  Why, from today on in, ALL SPRING AND ALL SUMMER LONG, tensies will be the new elevenses, eleven the new noon, four the new five, etc, etc, etc...

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS A GLORIOUS THING, FOR SURE!

What's more, it'll still be light after sup-sups.  That's right!  You and I will be able to go outside and watch the birdies together and stuff after supper.  Couldn't do that yesterday, but we sure can today, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Oh.

Hmmm...

You're sayin' Daylight Savings Time means I'm gonna have to go to bed-byes an hour early each night?

Hmmm....

Well...

Well actually, I'm okay with that.  Peepers, I'm a cat, and cats like to sleep.  We like to get in a full twenty hours, you know.  That's how we maintain our beauty.  Ever heard of beauty sleep?

And speakin' of beauty sleep, Peepers, you could do with a little of that, yourself.  You're lookin' a little worse for the wear.  A little down in the gills.  A little worn out.  A little...

What's that?  What's that Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

No, Peepers, NO.  You may not roll over and go back to sleep.

No matter how much you obviously need to.

It's time to get up!  Time to serve me my brekkies.  Sun might say seven but I, Seville the Cat, say it's eight.

As does the clock.

'Cause you know, seven is the new eight.

GET UP!

MOUSES!

Sunday, 10 March 2019

GOTCHA!

Now where is it?

NOW where is it?

Now WHERE IS it?

MOUSES!

There you are, you little...

Due to this here blog bein' a family-friendly blog, the above words were debleeped.

Debleeped?  What the mouses is that, you ask?

Well...

Well it means, being deleted with bleeps.  You know, like they sometimes do on TV.

MOUSES!

And NOW where have you gone?

Oh for mousin' out loud, I think it has escaped downstairs.

Or was that upstairs?

Or was it outdoors?

MOUSES!

In case any of you are wonderin' what I'm after, I can let you know in a second or two 'cause...

THERE IT IS!

Excuse me a mo, for I really do have to go.

NO, not to the litter box, silly.

MOUSES!

Be right back.

I'VE FOUND IT!

I think.

One sec...

Hold on...

GOTCHA!

Hey Peepers!  Get your tail over here, quick.  Is this that missin' hour you were lookin' for?

It is?

Whew, well that's a relief, 'cause let me tell you somethin' Peepers, I was gettin' pretty tired of chasin' it all over the house, and...

And speaking of tired, you look kinda tired, yourself.  Have you been chasing the missing hour, too?

You HAVE?

MOUSES!

And what, pray tell, would you have done with that missin' hour had you caught it?  I only ask on account of my havin' this missin' hour here in my paws, currently dangling from my claws, and now that I have it, I don't have a clue as to what to do with it, and...

OH MY MOUSES, IT'S BACK ON THE LOOSE!

Do you know what I'm gonna do?  I'm gonna go chase that missin' hour once more, and when I find it THIS TIME, I'm gonna catch it, and then...

And then, I'm gonna stuff it in a drawer.  Yup, that's just what I'll do.  And it can stay there in that drawer 'til sometime later this year.

Early November, I do believe.

MOUSES!

DISCLAIMER:  I have been informed of the need to clarify somethin'.  The peep isn't really tired today on account of the start of Daylight Savings Time.  She got up half an hour early, yesterday, then went to bed an hour early last night, and this morning, she got up, fresh as a daisy, she says.  Of course, her hair looked like a wreck, stickin' out all over the place and whatnot like a crazy mad scientist and stuff.  But that had nothin' to do with the clocks springing forward.  Nope, the peep's hair lookin' all nutso like that is totally normal 'round here, three hundred and sixty-five days of the year.

MOUSES!





Sunday, 11 March 2018

you're late

You're a day late and a dollar short there, Peepers.  MOUSES!

Okay, so maybe you're not a whole day late.  Maybe it's just an hour.

And maybe you weren't even missin' that dollar, 'cause honestly, I bet you didn't even know I had taken it.

But...

But mouses, woman!  I NEED MY BREKKIES, AND I NEED MY BREKKIES, NOW.

So anyway...

So anyway, sometime durin' the night, all the clocks in Nova Scotia got together and decided to spring forward, or somethin' like that, due to the savin' of' daylight.

Their plan, however, was not without its flaws.  MOUSES!

First of all, Peep #1's clock went on strike.  It didn't even strike on the hour.  Or maybe it never joined the union in the first place.

Hmmm...

Or maybe, the peep never bothered to change it to its new time.  MOUSES!

Secondly - and more importantly - MY clock was fully expectin' the peep's clock to have been reset.

So this mornin', I awoke at my usual time, which - of course - was an hour earlier than normal, on account of my internal tummy clock tellin' me we had entered daylight savings time.  I then trotted down to the kitchen and made myself comfy, while waitin' for the peep to come downstairs to wait upon me.

Well there I sat.

That's where I waited.

That's where I sat and I waited, both at the same time.  You see, multi-taskin' is a speciality of mine.

A WHOLE. HOUR. LATER...

Okay, so maybe it was more like ten minutes.  But ten minutes to a cat is a very long time.  MOUSES!

"Are you hungry?" I asked my tummy.  "Are you ready for brekkies?  Is it not brekkie time, already?"

My tummy, being incredibly wise, answered with a resounding, "YES!"

"I think I should go check on the peep to see if she's up," I said to myself.

And my tummy, agreed.

So off I went to check on the peep.

"Mouses, woman, are you not up yet?"

"It's still early," she said, rolling over and fallin' back to sleep.

"IT'S MORNIN'!" I yelled in her ear, which was easy to do as by this time, I was up on the bed, preparing to smacky-paw ol' Peepers if smacky-pawin' was needed.

"IT'S STILL EARLY," she repeated once more.

"IT'S BREKKIE TIME!" I cried, pointing to the clock on the nightstand.  "Okay, so that clock says otherwise, but my tummy and I know it's wrong."

"Seville," she began, "it's only seven, and it's Sunday morning.  I KNOW the clocks were moved forward last night, but it's still FEELS like seven to you and me."

"Speak for yourself, Peepers, for you do not speak for my tummy and me."

The only thing different is the time on the clock, Seville."

"Peepers, that makes absolutely no sense.  MOUSES!"

"THAT'S because it's seven in the morning.  It's too early for things to make sense."

Well I sat back on my haunches, wondering what I should do next.  Clearly, I had a senseless peep on my paws, and the best way to deal with senseless peeps, is by initiatin' what one calls...

SMACKY-PAW TIME!

Well let's just say, that didn't go quite how I had planned.

MOUSES!

Although...

Although truth be told, the peep did get up.

A little grumpy, perhaps, but hey!  I got my brekkies, and is that not what matters the most?

MOUSES!

Sunday, 12 March 2017

boing...

Boing...  Boing...  BOING...

Hmmm...  That's not quite right.  But if I tinker with this here...  And I tinker a little with that there...

BOINNNGGGGG.....

Well the springs are boingin'.  But they're only boingin' up and down.  So far, I'm not havin' any luck in getting 'em to boing forward, at all.  MOUSES!

Oh hello there, my friends.  You happened to catch me rippin' apart....

Uhhh....

You happened to catch me diggin' into...

Ummm....

On the other paw, you happened to catch me doin' nothin' at all.  Nope, there's nothin' of interest here.  MOUSES!

Okay, so I was doin' a little tinkerin' with the springs from the family room chesterfield.  You did catch me doin' that.

But I ask you, what's a little tinkerin' among friends?

Oh-oh.  Excuse me.

What's that, Peepers?

Uh, nothin'...

No Peepers!  There's no need for you to come into the family room.  I'm just talkin' to myself, is all. Just talkin' to myself, lullin' myself to sleep.

Yeah, that's it.

Yes Peepers, I'm just gettin' ready to have a little nap here.  Nothin' to worry your pretty little head over.  I'll call you if I need you.  Okay?  And until I do - call you, I mean - don't bother coming into the family room.  There's no need for you to come into the family room at all.

I said, DON'T COME INTO THE FAMILY ROOM!  At least not yet.

Peepers, don't you know it's rude to interrupt cats when they're talkin'?  Even when they're talkin' to themselves?  MOUSES!

Whew!  That was a close one, for sure.  For a minute there, I thought the peep was gonna come in here and find this mess I made with the family room chesterfield.

But I ask you, what's a little mess among friends?

And who knew chesterfields contained THIS MUCH stuffin'?  I know I didn't.  Did you? MOUSES!

No, it wasn't the stuffin' I was after.  I was lookin' for the springs.  I found 'em, too

Pardon me?  Why was I after the chesterfield springs, you ask?

Well...

Well it's that time of year, you see.  That time of year when the clocks are moved forward on account of Daylight Savings Time.  And you know what they say, right?  They say, time springs forward.  Springs forward.  Springs forward.  You're seein' the pattern here?  The pattern with those springs?

But the problem with all this springy stuff is, after losin' an hour of sleep last night, I'm not feelin' very springy.  Nope, I'm not feelin' springy at all.

So I got to thinkin', what if I could find me some actual springs, and use 'em to add a little spring to my step.  You know, to make me all springy, even after that lost hour of sleep.

But the other problem is, these here springs - the springs I happened to find in this here chesterfield - appear to be defective.  Yup, they appear to be defective, for sure.  Try as I might, I can only get 'em to work up and down.  So far, there has been no forward springy movement, at all.

And by the way, when usin' springs on the bottoms of your paws, to add a spring to your step, do not use 'em in areas with low-hangin' ceilings.

Just sayin'...

But I will add this:  THANK GOODNESS for that pile of chesterfield stuffin'.  Who knew it could make for such a comfy landing.

Again, just sayin'...

Anyway, I think what I need are some non-defective springs, 'cause these ones that used to be inside the family room chesterfield are apparently not up to spec.

Hmmm...

Anyone know if chairs have springs, too?

Just askin'...

MOUSES!

Sunday, 6 November 2016

time flies

You know what they say.

They say, time flies when you're havin' fun.

But actually, sometimes, time falls when you're havin' fun, too.  Maybe they should start sayin' that.  MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, I heard that in the wee hours of this mornin', the peeps were supposed to turn the clocks back due to that ol' daylight savings time - clock turnin' back thing, or whatever it's called.

And speakin' of daylight savings time...  Is there a special kind of savings account at the bank you're supposed to get for that? And if there is, do you get interest?  And do you get a free calendar, too? Inquirin' minds wanna know.

But back to those clocks.

Knowin' that Peep #1 would probably forget to do the little clock switcharoo, I set out to do it for her.  But which way was I supposed to be turnin' the paws on the clocks?  To be honest, I had absolutely no idea.

Then I remembered that other ol' sayin'.  Spring forward, fall back.

Well DUH.  Of course you're gonna spring forward.  I mean, if you spring backward, you're likely to fall flat on your keister, for sure.  Or in my case, fall flat on my tail.  MOUSES!

So I set about doin' what I needed to do.

But in my first turnin' back of the clocks attempt, I had a few problems turnin' the little knobby thing that moves the mantle clock's hands.  I mean, paws.  No actually, I do mean hands.  But that is neither here no there.  What is important is that when tryin' to turn that knobby thing, my claws kept slippin', and as the peep was sound asleep, I couldn't really ask her for any help.

Well actually, I could have asked but that would have required my waking her up, and I know from personal experience that a peep woken up at two in the mornin' is a very scary peep, for sure. MOUSES!

So obviously, I felt it best to persevere on my own.

But try as I might, I couldn't get that clock hand controlling knobby thing to turn.

That's when I decided to go old school.

Spring forward, fall back.  One good whacky paw to the face of the clock and it would fall back, for sure.

And it did!

But then it got stuck between the sideboard and the wall behind it.

Obviously, the mantle clock had been eatin' too many treats and not exercising enough.  MOUSES!

I jumped down onto the floor and did my best to squeeze myself in behind the sideboard, only to find that I, too, had been eatin' a few more treats than perhaps I should.  MOUSES!

But Seville the Cat is not the kind of cat who lets a little thing like not fittin' into an enclosed space stop him.  No sirree.  So I reached in with a paw and gave that ol' clock another smack.  Unfortunately, the clock was bein' obstinate - as clocks will do - and refused to budge.

So I decided to turn back a different clock.

Well Peep #1's alarm clock had the same knobby control thing-a-ma-giggy issues as the mantle clock, so I didn't even bother tryin' that route, and instead immediately did a smacky paw to the clock's face.

And it fell to floor with a thud.

Moments before it started to howl.

Howl...  Alarm goin' off...  Whatever.

And that would be about the time the peep woke up.  MOUSES!

So I explained to the peep how I was helpin' her out, by changin' the time on all the clocks in the house, but that the clocks in the house were bein' very uncooperative, which is why the mantle clock was still in need of changin' after it was unstuck from between the sideboard and the wall, of course.

I also explained that the changin' of clocks was not the kind of changin' that required diapers although truth be told, I might have...  you know...  just a little bit...  when that ol' alarm clock of the peep's started howlin' at two o'clock in the morning.  'Cause it took me by surprise and scared me a little.

What happened next, I cannot report, on account of Nerissa's Life bein' a family-friendly blog and all. MOUSES!

You know, you'd think that after livin' with me for all these years, the peep would be used to being awakened at two in the mornin' and an occasional lapse of litter box usage by now.

But apparently not.  MOUSES!

Bottom line is, I think we're in need of a couple new clocks.

What that, Peepers?  What?  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  WHAT?  FINE.

Peep #1 says I have to come clean 'bout the mantle clock business.  That part of my story was kinda made up

Are you happy now, Peepers?

But the stuff 'bout my knockin' her alarm clock down?  That bit was as true as true can be. MOUSES!


Sunday, 13 March 2016

gone missing

Hmmm...  I've looked upstairs and I've looked downstairs.  I've looked inside and out.  I've looked underneath stuff and on top of stuff and even in drawers but for the life of me, I can't find it anywhere.  MOUSES!

Oohhh...  I should look in the car trunk.  It could be there, I suppose.  Never know what you might find in that ol' trunk.  Once, a little while back, I found a...  But I digress.

Be right back.

Nope, it's not there, either.  MOUSES!

The garage!

Mouses that garage is a mess.  Peep #1 really needs to go through all that stuff and throw some of it out.  Most of it's junk, really.  Don't think anyone would ever want or need...  But again, I digress.

By the way, it wasn't in the garage, either.

At least I don't think it was in the garage.  Truth be told, it was kind of hard to tell, what with all that junk and stuff, stuffed in there.  MOUSES!

Now where else should I look?  Where else can I look?  Actually, I don't think there's anywhere else left to look.

But it's gotta be around here somewhere.  I'm sure I saw it just the other day.  In fact, I think I saw it only yesterday.  MOUSES!

Wait a minute.  Just wait a mousie mousin' moused-up minute.  I know exactly where to look.  I should go look in my froggy bank.  I bet it's in there, for sure.

What is a froggy bank, you ask?

Why, a froggy bank is a bank where I keep all my savings.  You know, the money I'm saving up to invest in nip futures and the like.

What makes a froggy bank different from a piggy bank, you wonder?

Well one is a frog while the other is a pig.  Not all that complicated, really.  Not when you think about it.

But why do I have a froggy bank instead of a piggy bank?  That's what you'd like to know?

Tell you the truth, I'd like to know that, too.  Long story short...  Peep problems.  MOUSES!

And short story long...

You see, way back when, my brother Nissy sent Peep #1 out to get a piggy bank for all of us cats but when she returned from the store, it was discovered that she had bought a froggy one, instead.  No one knows why.  No one knows how.  Oh sure, we kind of know how.  I mean, obviously, she went and bought a little hollow ceramic frog instead of a little hollow ceramic pig but what we don't know is how she confused the two.  She had been given clear instructions.  Clear as day, really.  My fur-family and I have discussed this over and over and over again and the only thing we can think of is that maybe she just didn't know the difference.  You know, the difference between a frog and a pig.  Clearly the peep is not that well schooled.  MOUSES!

But let me go check on that bank and see if I can find what I'm looking for in there.

Not in the froggy bank, either.  MOUSES!

You know, I figured it would be in the froggy bank, for sure, what with a froggy bank being a place to keep savings and all.

Pardon me?  For what am I looking?  You'd like to know for what it is that I'm searching all over the place?

Why, I'm looking for the missing hour, of course.  You know, the hour that went missing sometime during the night when Daylight Savings Time began although why daylight would go missing during the night when it's dark...

WAIT A MINUTE!!!  Of course daylight would go missing at night when it's dark because daylight is always missing in the darkness of the night.  Why didn't I think of that before?  MOUSES!

But come to think of it, that little epiphany hasn't helped me at all.  Not one bit.  The hour is still missing and truth be told, as it's now the middle of the day, so is the dark.

Hmmm....

Well as the missing hour is be nowhere to be found, I guess it is lost.  Lost forever and ever and...

What's that?  Really?  REALLY?  You don't say.

BREAKING NEWS... Missing hour will return Sunday November 6th, when Daylight Savings Time comes to an end.

I guess the missing hour is on vacation or something.  You know, vacationing for the summer.  Or maybe it was sent off to summer school where it could learn about telling time and the difference between frogs and pigs and froggy banks and piggy banks and useful stuff like that.  That would make sense.  That would make lots of sense, I think.  Bet that's what it's doing, for sure.  MOUSES!

Sunday, 8 March 2015

I've been robbed!

Hello, Officer?  I'd like to report a crime.  I've been robbed.  I'm the victim of a theft.  THEY STOLE MA BLOODS!  Pardon the kitty speak, Sir, but I'm a little emotional at the mo.  Like I said, THEY STOLE MA BLOODS!  MOUSES!

It's true.  They stole my blood.  And I know exactly who did it, too.  It was my doctor.  She took an entire vial and the worst part was, Peep #1 was right there at the time, facilitating the crime.  She was aiding and abetting, for sure.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

What's that Peepers?  It was for my own good, you say?  REALLY?  Okay...  FINE.  Guess you might actually be right about that.  You might actually be right about somethin' this one and only time.  Enjoy bein' right, Peepers.  It doesn't happen very often.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  MOUSES!

Truth be told, I hadn't been feelin' my best in the last little while.  In the last few months, I had lost some weight.  Perhaps a little more than I should.

At first, it was kind of a good thing that I lost weight.  I was never overly heavy but I do have a bit of arthritis in my hips so losin' a little was good in a way.  But then I lost more and Peep #1 felt that she could feel a bit too much of my shoulder and hip bones to her likin'.  I had a good tum on me but she was worried 'bout the rest.

There were a couple other things goin' on, too, but I won't go into a lot of detail 'bout those on account of this here bein' a family friendly blog and no one really wants to hear too much 'bout icky stuff comin' out of either end and certainly not both.  MOUSES!

But I will say that the peep said I was "lookin' a little down in the mouth."  Yup, that's just what she said.  Not quite sure what she meant though 'cause my mouth was - and still is - exactly where it should be and no one was lookin' down it or anythin'.  Weird sayin' if you ask me.  MOUSES!

Okay, enough with the mouses.

Anywho...  Peep #1 made an appointment for me with my doctor and last Thursday, she took me in to the hospital.  That's when it happened.  That's when they stole my blood.  MOU....  Um, never mind.

So the vial of my blood was whisked off into another room where they began runnin' a battery of tests.  Luckily for them, we had had no major power outages in recent months so there were lots of batteries to be found.

They were checkin' for three things. They were checkin' for thyroid problems, diabetes and my kidney function.  Peep #1 had her fingers crossed that the tests would discover what was goin' on with my health and that whatever it was, was treatable. She was crossin' a lot of fingers, I think, and perhaps some toes, too. She was hopin' and prayin' that I would be A-okay.

Well my doctor called later that day sayin' there was good news.  She said the blood tests had done the ol' trick. She did not, however, mention if I would be gettin' my blood back.  I'm thinkin' it might be tucked away somewhere in an evidence room or somethin' on account of it bein' stolen property and all.   MOUSES!

Well you knew I'd start sayin' mouses again sooner or later, right?  Just so happens it turned out to be sooner rather than later.  Such is life.  MOUSES!

Anywho...  The good news is that the problem is with my thyroid and it's pretty easy to solve.  One little pink pill, once a day, should do the trick.  I have to go back again in a month for a re-check. I'm thinkin' they're gonna wanna steal more of my blood.  Awww....  MOUSES!

But I'm super good with pills so takin' one little ol' pill, daily, will be easy peasy for me.  Peep #1 just pops it in my mouth and I swallow.  I'm a real trooper, for sure.

The peep knows better than to try to trick me when it comes to takin' pills.  Once she tried givin' me a deworming pill in the same way she gives 'em to the rest of my fur-fam.  For them, they all get the pill wrapped in a pill pocket which is then hidden in some of the fanciest of the feasts, given straight up.  Works for them but for me?  NO WAY.  She tried that ol' trick on me and what did she find? She found one little dewormin' pill lyin' in the middle of a plate.  That's right, I ate the fancy food and the pill pocket and spat that ol' pill right back out.  I'm quite talented like that, you see.

Good thing it isn't my sister, Constance, who has to take the daily pills.  Connie doesn't do pills.  It's a fact.  Oh sure, you might get the first one in her but there will never be a second.  Gotta catch her first and she has some excellent hidin' spots.  Not even I know where they all are.  MOUSES!

And I just wanna point out that the little pink pills I'll be takin' are pink.  Yes, PINK.  They're not to be confused with those little blue ones that ol' spammer, Mr. Anonymous Spam, keeps tryin' to sell me.  Imagine tryin' to sell a neutered kitty, like me, little blue pills.  MOUSES!

I suppose I really should call the police back up and cancel that APB on my missin' blood, huh? 'Cause it's not really missin', after all.  Yeah, perhaps I should do that sometime.

But I can tell you somethin' that is missin'.  An hour.  We're all missin' an hour around here.  Not sure if it was actually stolen, though.  I think that maybe it's just lost.  Can you put out an APB on a missin' hour if it's only lost?

But do we actually know that that missin' hour is just lost?  Do we know it's not a victim of foul play?  And do we know if there are any chickens involved?  MOUSES!

Perhaps that missin' hour simply crossed the road with a chicken and couldn't find its way back.  And if so, why?  WHY?  And perhaps a better question to ask would be, did they look both ways before crossin'?  No one ever asks that question, you see.  No one but me.

So many questions, so little time.  A whole hour less of time for investigatin' this matter at paw.  I had best get on that right away.  I'll let you know the minute I find that missin' hour.  I'm thinkin' I should find it by the end of October, for sure.  MOUSES!

Sunday, 2 November 2014

a silver lining

Today is a day that comes but once a year. It is a glorious day, to be sure.  It's the day when cats all across Canada and the United States stop savin' their daylight and go back to the standard way of doin' things.  That's right.  It's the end of Daylight Savings Time.  The day we cats get an extra hour in which to nap.  Like I said before... GLORIOUS.

Now when I say all cats, I actually mean most cats 'cause there are a few locales, up here in Canada, where daylight is never saved.  Nope, they just spend it as fast as it comes.  It's true.  In most of Saskatchewan and a few places scattered here and there in British Columbia, they keep things standardised, all-year-round.  I don't know why. They just do.  Easier in some ways, I suppose.  But they miss out on that extra hour of nappin' time which I, myself, so very much enjoyed, this mornin'.

Of course, they also don't lose an hour of nappin' every spring but, truth be told, neither do I.  As a rule, I don't allow myself to miss out on naps so whereas peeps may lose an hour of sleep in the spring, I don't.  I just nap instead of doin' somethin' else.  But then, what else would I be expected to do?  I'm a cat.  MOUSES!

Cats and peeps livin' in parts of the world where daylight is never saved might very well be inclined to think that all this movin' of the clocks back and forth is confusing.  It's really not.  Clocks get moved all the time.  Not wall clocks, so much.  They tend to stay put.  Big ol' grandfather clocks that weigh more than the peeps livin' in the house don't, either.  But little clocks get moved a lot. They get moved from the nightstand over to the dresser and then back to the nightstand, once more.  Yup, they get moved back and forth all the time.

Sometimes, these little clocks even take flight.  Occasionally, a clock will start ringin' its dinger off, as loud as can be.  That's when the peep closest to said clock will reach over, pick it up and throw it across the room.  The objective is for the clock to hit the wall so that the parts that are ringin' and dingin' will stop their unendin' singin'.  I've never witnessed this phenomenon in my own house but I've seen it happen on television so, you know, it must be true.

Of course, peeps with poor aim are very bad at this sport.  Clocks they fling usually miss the target on the wall.  I mean, they miss the target that is the wall, fallin' short and, perhaps, landin' on someone's head.  Thus the expression, watch out for flyin' clocks.  Okay, maybe that's not actually a real expression but seriously, I think perhaps it should be.  MOUSES!

But gettin' clocked on the side of the head.  Now, that IS a real expression for sure and, I suspect, it's origin has somethin' to do with clocks ringin' their dingers off just prior to takin' flight.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

Anywho...  while we're on the topic of clocks, let me tell you what happened at my house, the other day.

Picture it, Thursday mornin', my house.  Peep #1 wakes up and squints on account of all the sunshine shinin' in through the window.  She looks over at the little clock sittin' there, next to her, and sees that it says it's twenty minutes past six.  At first, the peep was quite happy to think that she could go back to sleep for another forty minutes or so.  The clock was set to ring at seven.

That's when alarms started goin' off inside the peep's head.  The peep was most definitely, alarmed.

My first peep had come to the realisation that there was no way, no how, that there could be that much sun shinin' through the window at twenty minutes past six.  Not here in Nova Scotia at the end of October.  At this time of year, the sun doesn't bother gettin' out of bed until about seven.  So at twenty minutes past six, it should still be dark outside. MOUSES!

Peep #1 peered at the little alarm clock, sittin' there. She looked at its face and narrowed her eyes.  Was the clock mockin' her?  Nope, it was dead.  Yup, her clock had stopped.  Dead as a doornail, it was.  Not that doornails are ever alive but dead as a doornail is just somethin' we say.

Now this clock in question had never once flown across a room, hit a wall or clocked anyone in head.  Nope, up until Thursday mornin', it had, in fact, led a rather sedentary life.  Perhaps that lifestyle is what had caused the thing to expire.  I doubt we will ever know.

The clock may not have flown but the peep sure did.  Ol' Peepers flew out of bed, scramblin' to find out just what time it really was.  Her paws barely touched the floor as she zoomed down into the kitchen, to check the times on the microwave and the stove.

Times.  Yes, I did say times.  Suffice it to say that the clocks in my house all sort of do as they please.  Not one of them ever agrees with any of the others.  They never have.  They probably never will.  The measuring of time by the peeps at my house tends to be an exercise in approximation, if you know what I mean.

Although the clocks on the microwave and stove were each claiming different times, they were in agreement that it was not twenty minutes past six.  They both agreed that it was actually after eight.  Ol' Peepers checked the mantle clock in the livin' room and found that it, too, said it was after eight although by a different number of minutes than either of the two clocks in the kitchen.

Peep #1 once again took flight, this time landin' at the front door.  She swung that ol' door open just in time to see the garbage truck rollin' down the street.

Okay, so it wasn't actually rolling but you get my drift, I am sure.  MOUSES!

Suffice it to say, I had one grumpy peep on my paws for the rest of the mornin'.  She was loaded with grumpiness.  The grumpies were oozin' out of her pores like sap on a maple.  Sticky and icky ol' sap.

Hmmm...  Peeps like maple stuff, don't they.  I should, perhaps, rephrase that.  She had grumpies oozin' out of her pores like sap on a pine tree.  No one likes that.  Believe me, I know.  Once, I got some of that gummy ol' pine tree sap on me.  It took me forever to get it out of my fur.

But I digress.  The point is, the peep was grumpy.  MOUSES!

Peep #1 had angry ol' storm clouds hangin' over her head.  Those storm clouds were comin' in as fast as fast could be and they all stopped directly over the peep.   All mornin' long, there were flashes of lightening and swirlin', tornado-like winds, encasing the peep with the storm of what could only be described as the grumpiness storm of the century.  Angry clouds of grumpiness were constantly replacin' each other, swirlin' in and around and about her.

I'm sure I saw actual clouds hangin' over Peep #1, all day long.  I'm absolutely certain of it.  I can't believe that they were only in my imagination.  No, that simply cannot be.  Of course, when one has been imbibing in the nip...  Nah, I'm positive I saw those storm clouds hangin' over her head.

But every cloud has a silver linin'.  Yup, every single one.  No matter how stormy that cloud may be, there is always a silver lining.

In this case, the silver lining was the fact that I, Nerissa the Cat, was handed a topic for today's blog post.  It was like it was handed to me right out of thin air.  Yup, a sparkling and gleaming silver linin', for sure.

And after this little incident, Peep #1 is now in contention for a spot on Canada's Grumpiest Peep Show on Reality TV...

Hmmm...  I'm thinkin' they should come up with a better name for that show.

Anywho...  Peep #1 is definitely in contention for bein' the country's grumpiest peep.  Oh yeah.

Oh, and in case you're wonderin' about the missin' of the garbage truck.  Let's just say that the first thing goin' out in the garbage on the next garbage day - which is almost a whole two weeks away - is one dead and broken alarm clock.  Yup, it should be takin' flight any moment now.  Takin' a direct flight to the garbage bin.  No passport required.  No luggage allowed.  MOUSES!