you hear that?

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...

Mouses, you hear that?

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...

There it goes again.

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...

And again, only louder this time.  Did you hear that sound?

CrrraaaaahhhhCKKK!

Did you hear THAT?

CRRRAAAAAASHHHH!

Now surely you MUST have heard that.

I'm thinkin' that one was heard right 'round the world, for sure.

MOUSES!

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...

And there goes another.

MOUSES!

You know, bein' a cat, I have very sensitive hearin'.  I hear all sorts of stuff.  ALL SORTS OF STUFF, for sure, and lately...  Well lately, I've been hearin' a lot of...

CrrrraaaaahhhhCKKK!

I wonder who did that one.

MOUSES!

So anyway, like I was sayin'...  Lately, I've been hearin'...

CRRRAAAAAASHHHH!

And ANOTHER one bites the dust.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', I've been up to tricks in the kitchen again.  Tricks involvin' the knockin' down of dishes and stuff.  Stuff that might be up on the counter, and...

Well, my friends, YOU'D BE WRONG ABOUT THAT.

MOUSES!

I, Seville the Cat, do not knock stuff off counters, and onto the floor.  Oh sure, ON OCCASION, a piece of silverware, or a plate or somethin', has VOLUNTARILY jumped off the counter, ALL OF ITS OWN ACCORD, when I just happened to be up there, immediately prior to the jumpin'.  Yeah, voluntarily jumped off the counter, and onto the floor.  BUT I HAD NOTHIN' TO DO WITH THAT.  Nothin' to do with that, at all.  Did you read where I wrote the word, "voluntarily?"

MOUSES!

Fact is, the idea of stuff voluntarily jumpin' off counters when I happen to be up on said counters, is merely coincidental, is all.

MOUSES!

But that, my friends, is beside the point, 'cause this here blog post has NOTHIN' to do with things jumpin' off counters.  Nothin' to do with 'em jumpin' onto counters, either.

No Sir, this here blog post has to do with...

CRRRAAAAAASHHHH!

Oohhh...  That one took me by surprise.  Didn't hear the tinkles leadin' up to it or anythin'.

And FYI, the tinkles have nothin' to do with litter box humour, either.

MOUSES!

Truth is, what you're hearin' is the sound of...

CRRRAAAAAASHHHH!

And there goes ANOTHER.  I'm tellin' ya, it's like livin' down at the South Pole, waitin' for bits and pieces of glaciers to crack and fall off, and...

What?  WHAT?  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  Yeah, I can't hear you over the sound of the uncontrollable sobbin' comin' from...

What's that?  I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU.  YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP IF YOU WANNA BE HEARD OVER ALL THAT SOBBIN'!

THE THING IS...

Sorry 'bout that.  The thing is, peeps all 'round the world are breakin' their New Year Resolutions, and the sound of them breakin' is like shatterin' glass.  First there's the tinkles, then comes the crackin', and finally, you hear a loud crash.

Then they sob, uncontrollably, when the realize they didn't make it past the first month.

To tell you the truth, I'm surprised so many of 'em made it past the first day.

MOUSES!

Let me tell you, my peeps were sobbin' up a storm by January 3rd.

Yup, they had to do an emergency run to the handkerchief store, and everythin'.

MOUSES!

As for the rest of the world, I expect I'll be hearin' those resolutions breakin' for some time to come.

(You know, on account of my havin' such sensitive ears, and all.)

Well...  Well actually....  Actually, maybe for just another few days.  Yeah, by then, the breakin' of this year's resolutions should be all done.

MOUSES!

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle...

New Year's Eve, already

Well look at that.  Just LOOK at that.  It's New Year's Eve, already.

MOUSES!

Where did the time go?

Did it fly, fly away?

Well...  Well you know what they say.  They say, time flies when you're havin' fun, and fun is what we've been havin' all year, for sure.

MOUSES!

And FYI, time also flies when one is usin' an eggbeater teleportation device equipped with time-travellin' whisks, such as my flyin' fryin' pan.

MOUSES!

But anyway, like I was sayin', it's already New Year's Eve.

New Year's Eve today; New Year's Day, tomorrow, and we all know what that means.  Right?

It means...

Well it means, first thing tomorrow mornin', peeps all 'round the world will be makin' their New Year's Resolutions.

It also means that by sometime tomorrow afternoon, peeps all 'round the world will be BREAKIN' their New Year's Resolutions, for sure.

MOUSES!

I, bein' the smart kitty I am, planned ahead.  That's right!  Yup, I ordered in five dozen boxes of tissues.  I'm all prepared for the sobs and tears of my peeps when they realize they didn't manage to keep their New Year's Resolutions for even one full day, never mind a year.

MOUSES!

I also ordered in a couple boxes of disposable diapers.

NO...  The diapers aren't for the peeps.

Although...

Nah, they don't need those.

Yet.

MOUSES!

But seriously, folks...   Seriously, I ordered in the diapers for that Baby New Year we always hear about.  A cat can never know when a cryin' Baby New Year might arrive at a cat's front door.

MOUSES!

Hmmm....  I wonder if I should have ordered in some baby bottles and formula, too.  The peeps have a couple bottles of liquefied nip, stashed away for tonight, and I, bein' a cat, have a couple of untouched nip mice hangin' about, but babies...  Well babies need formula and milk and things like that, don't they?  I don't think the nip is what they need at all.  Plus, when it comes to my nip toys, I'm really not prepared to share.

MOUSES!

But sobbin' peeps...  I mean, babies.  No, I mean peeps.  But my two sobbin' peeps aside, did any of YOU make resolutions for the new year?

And are any of you plannin' on keeping 'em?

My two personal peeps made a couple.  A couple of resolutions, I mean.  But to be honest, I didn't pay too much attention to what they were resolvin'.  I'm sure I'll hear ALL ABOUT IT sometime tomorrow afternoon.  You know, when they realize they've already broken their New Year Resolutions for the year.

Cue the boxes of tissues, puh-lease.

MOUSES!

As for myself, I was gonna resolve to stop usin' the expression, "MOUSES!" quite so much.  Then I thought better of that.  No way am I gonna be able to keep that resolution, livin' with the peeps and fur-sibs with whom I live.

Then I considered resolvin' to not get nipped all the time, but I thought better of that resolution, too.  Let me tell you somethin': When livin' with the peeps and fur-sibs with whom I live, a kitty like me NEEDS to get nipped a lot.  And by a lot, I actually mean, all the time.

MOUSES!

So finally, I decided to resolve to just keep on bein' me, and that, my friends, is a resolution worth keepin', for sure.

MOUSES!

But for now, I think...  Well I think I have just one more thing to say.  Just one more thing, needin' to be said.

And that thing...  That thing I so desperately need to say, is....

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

Happy New Year.

May 2018 be OUR BEST YEAR YET.

PURRS