Now I don't wanna come across as a heartless kitty who doesn't give a mouse's tail 'bout others 'cause really, that's just not me. I do care! I care 'bout my pals and I even care 'bout lots of cats and peeps I don't even know. I care when I see injustices bein' done and yes, when possible, I do what I can to stop 'em. Or at least bring 'em to light.
But it's impossible for one kitty to save the whole world, you know? Of course you know.
Sometimes, one has to make choices. Sometimes a kitty has to decide which battles need to be fought and which ones can be let go. Sometimes a kitty has to decide what is wanted the most and what can be given up. Always, a kitty has to choose his or her battles, wisely.
So that's when I said to myself, and anyone else out there who was listenin', "I have bigger fish to fry."
Well THAT caught my attention. Fish? Fryin'? Fish that are fryin'? Fryin' the fish? MOUSES!
Clearly, the battle of fryin' the fish is one a kitty does want to fight. I do enjoy a little grilled tuna, now and then, you see.
And the thought of the fish that is fryin' bein' bigger.. Well... That's gotta be good, right? The bigger the fish, the more there is to fry!
Of course, at my house, most of our fryin' pans are currently bein' used for my work in teleportation physics. Nothin' beats a fryin' pan when teleportin' usin' eggbeater-whisk time travellin'-teleportation technology.
But surely I could detach the eggbeaters from one of those fryin' pans so that Peep #1 could use it to fry me up some fish.
But then I got to thinkin'. What about these flyin' fish of whom I've heard? Flyin' is different from fryin'. But only different by one letter. Could be a typo.
Nah, some fish do fly. There are flyin' fish. I'm sure of that.
But back to the flyin' fish. Although I suspect that some fish out there do fly on planes, I'm not sure they ever make it onto the passenger list. I think they might be bein' shipped or somethin'.
But there are fish that fly without the aid of mechanical birds. They just fly. I don't know if they have wings or not. Actually, I don't think they do. Don't know how they fly without wings but somehow, they soar through the air and above the water, beneath 'em.
And what better way to catch a flyin' fish than with a flyin' fryin' pan? In other words, a fryin' pan used for teleportation. I decided to hold off on removin' the ol' eggbeaters from all the fryin' pans. Especially from the biggest of my teleportation fryin' pans 'cause if I was wantin' to fry a fish, I was gonna want to be fryin' a big one. And for that, I was gonna require a big flyin' fryin' pan to catch it.
You know, I don't know why I never thought of this before. Fryin' pans are used for fryin'. Fryin' pans are used for flyin'. You can fry a fish and some fish can fly. All this flyin' and fryin'... OF COURSE a flyin' fryin' pan is in order. A flyin' fryin' pan can obviously do double duty.
And usin' a flyin' fryin' pan means that you can fry up your flyin' fish en route. You can be fryin' your flyin' fish while flyin'. In other words, you're flyin' fish that are fryin'.
Seriously, I need to get the patent on this. MOUSES!
Now I know what you're all thinkin'. You're all thinkin' that these flyin' fryin' pans bein' used in the fryin' of the flyin' fish is nothin' more that a whale of a tale.
Well you'd be wrong on that account. First of all, whales aren't fish. They're mammals. They're mammals as are you and I. Secondly, I don't eat whales. Whales are for watchin'; not for eatin'. Some of them are even endangered!
Whales do however have tails. But that's the wrong kind of tale. Another possible typo? Nah, just the English language doin' its thing.
So next time you see a whale leapin' into the air from the ocean below, remember that it is NOT a flyin' fish lookin' to be caught by a kitty flyin' a flyin' fryin' pan with an eggbeater attached to its side. It's just a whale. A whale with a tail but certainly not telling 'em. Tellin' tales, I mean.
And next time you see a flyin' fish, duck. Don't quack or anythin'. Just duck your head 'cause in that case, there very well might be a kitty flyin' a flyin' fryin' pan comin' along, tryin' to catch that flyin' fish for his dinner.
And if you should ever happen to find yourself sittin' next to a fish on an aeroplane... If you should ever happen to find yourself sittin' next to Mr. Trout or Mrs. Haddock... Well... Maybe - just maybe - you're overworked 'cause you've been tryin' to save the whole wide world all by yourself. No one kitty can save it all.
Seriously, folks. Don't try to save the whole world all on your own. Pick a few things you wanna see changed and concentrate on them. Leave the rest of the savin' for somebody else.
If we all do a little, we can, together, accomplish a lot. But if we try to do everythin', stickin' our paws in all of the pots, all over the place, we end up makin' a big ol' mess of the works.
Either that, or we drive ourselves crazy. And that's when we find ourselves sittin' on a plane, chattin' to a shark next to us. A shark who, by the way, is sportin' a fin through the back of his three-piece suit and smells somewhat fishy. MOUSES!
