let me tell you

Let me tell you about my peep.  This morning, Peep #1 updated her Facebook status with a comment that really took me by surprise.

Yeah, I know.  What's taking all of you by surprise is that the peep is on Facebook. It sometimes surprises me, too. Surprises me she's allowed over there as let's face it, she's just not all that interesting.  Unlike me, of course.

As you might have guessed, the peep's uninteresting nature is why she doesn't have a fan page as I do.  She doesn't have a fan page like me because she's not famous or anything.

Infamous, maybe..  Nah, just kidding. Bottom line is, the peep doesn't have a fan page because she doesn't have any fans. No need for a fan page when you're fanless, you know?  Of course you do. MOUSES!

What's that, Peepers?  Fanless isn't a word?  Sure it is!  I just invented it right now.  MOUSES!

But back to that status.  On Facebook, the peep described what is known as the Coffee Paradox and she described it almost perfectly.  She said something like, sometimes she needs a cup of coffee to get out of bed in the morning but unfortunately, she needs to get out of bed in order to get the coffee.  See?  A perfect paradox, indeed.

Well almost perfect.  As I so kindly pointed out to Peep #1, her paradox would be even more perfect had it been about nip.  As a cat, I don't drink coffee but nip on the other paw...  You get my point, I am sure.

But then on the other other paw - luckily, as a cat, I have four - if the paradox were about nip and not coffee, it wouldn't be called the Coffee Paradox.  It would be called the Nip Paradox, I suppose. I'll have to think about this one, a little more.

The thing is though, for a brief moment there, I said to myself, "My gosh, Peep #1 really can be quite profound."

Then I answered myself with, "Profound!  The Peep?  Didn't even know she was anti-lost never mind pro found.  MOUSES!"  Well I said something to that effect, I do believe.

Not quite sure what I said on account of my having been nipped, at the time.  MOUSES!

Hey!  It's not my fault that nip mouse was lying there on the floor next to my office chair.  Yes, I may have left it there, last night, but I didn't order it to stay.  MOUSES!

But do you know who really was very profound?  Nissy.  My brother Nissy was the most profound kitty around.

It has been five months, today, since Nissy left us to romp through the great nip fields of Heaven, chasing butterflies.  Five long months.  And his best friend, Herman Tattlecat, wrote the most beautiful tribute to Nissy and published it today, in honour of what he calls Nissy's five month Angelversary. Angelversary...  I like that.  Nissy was an angel on earth so up in Heaven, he'll be one of the finest angels, for sure.

The peep has been a little sad since yesterday, when she started thinking about the fact that it was five months ago when Nissy left us.  She says it seems like just yesterday when she could scoop him up into her arms for cuddles but at the same time, it feels like he's been gone for so very long.  Far too long.  She says that seeing Nissy used to make her heart smile but now, her heart hasn't smiled in a very long time.

But Peep #1 was ever-so-touched by Herman's blog post.  It made her cry, a bit, but that's only because she loved Nissy so much and misses him terribly.  And from reading Herman's blog post, it's very clear that he loved Nissy, too.  They were best pals.  Besties.  Bestest besties, for sure.

Herman's post, "Tribute to Nerissa the Cat," can be found right here on the blog, Kimberley Koz. That's the blog Herman shares with his mum.

I've been thinking about Nissy a lot lately, too.  As you know, Niss and I signed up for Professor Lyon's Kitty Lit. 101 course, last year, and going to school with my brother was such fun.  Now I'm taking the course with my other two brothers, Anderson and Rushton.  Thing is, because those two long-haired marmies are newbies regarding the literary lessons thing, I have to be the big brother now.  The responsible one.  I have to be like Nissy.

And being the big brother is hard when you're supposed to be the big brother to two long-haired marmies who are part Coon.  They're huge!  I'm a fairly good-sized dude, myself, but Andy and Rushy?  Like I said, HUGE.  And they have all that floofy floof, too.  MOUSES!

Sometimes Peep #1 wonders if Anderson really is big cat or instead, a rather small lion.  She says it could go either way.  MOUSES!

But speaking of Professor Lyon's Kitty Lit. course, you are all remembering to enter my giveaway, are you not?  It's easy peasy to do and the prize is absolutely great.  One very lucky reader is going to WIN an AUTOGRAPHED COPY of Fillet of Murder, Linda Reilly's fantabulous book.

All you need do to enter is leave a comment on my post, "fish and chips with a side of trouble," by midnight, Atlantic Time, on Sunday October 4th. Leaving a comment is easy!  Like I said, easy peasy, for sure.  Just remember to do so before Sunday's deadline, okay?

And if, by chance, you are wondering about that side of trouble business, let me put it this way... You've met my two marmie brothers, haven't you?  MOUSES!

the coffeeless peep

Do you know what you get when you withhold coffee from a peep?  I'll tell you what you get.  You get one crazy peep.  MOUSES!

And when I say crazy, I mean CRAZY. Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kind of crazy, if you know what I mean.

Now before anyone starts thinkin' that I, Nerissa the Cat, am responsible for the peep's lack of coffee, I'm not.  It wasn't me.  It wasn't my fault.  It was all the fault of the peep.

I know...  I know...  I would have been well within my rights to withhold Peep #1's coffee as punishment for her havin' totally ruined my loo. Remember how she did that? Remember how she planted those primroses and completely and utterly ruined my loo?  She certainly would have deserved to be punished for that.  Would have deserved that, for sure.

But I did not withhold coffee from the peep on account of her ruinin' my loo 'cause I'm not that kind of cat.  I'm not the kind of cat who holds a grudge.  I'm not that kind of cat at all.

Besides, by conventional standards, the withholding of coffee from a peep could be considered cruel and unusual punishment.  I'm far too nice a guy to do somethin' like that.  What's more, I would be left dealin' with said coffeeless peep.  I'm far too smart a guy to want to have to deal with that.  I'm not crazy.  The world of crazy totally belongs to the peep.

I was asked by some of the other cats in my family if I was performin' some sort of  scientific experiment upon the peep.  If I was performin' an experiment to see just how crazy that crazy ol' peep of mine would get without her daily fix of coffee.  I had to point out to my fur-fam that an experiment such as that would not only be unethical but also, incredibly crazy.  That performin' such an experiment would be crazy beyond crazy and that clearly, the world of crazy, belongs to the peep.

And the squirrels.  Those nut pie makin' squirrels.  There's a family of 'em livin' in the oak tree at the end of my driveway. They're pretty crazy, for sure.

The peep's lack of coffee was not due to a cruel and unusual form of punishment exacted by myself.  Nor was it due to some sort of insanely unethical experiment bein' performed by crazy nut pie makin' squirrely scientists.  The peep's lack of coffee was due to none other than the peep.  The peep bein'... well...  a peep.

Let me explain...

On the first day, the peep filled up the coffeemaker with water before turning it on.  Unfortunately, she forgot to add the coffee.  Yes, she forgot to put any ground coffee into the coffeemaker.

Do you know what happens when a peep forgets to put the ground coffee in the coffeemaker?  I can tell you exactly what happens.  What happens is that said peep ends up brewin' a big ol' pot of hot water.  MOUSES!

On the second day, the peep remembered to add the ground coffee and before you ask, yes, she remembered to add the water, too.  However, she forgot to turn the coffeemaker on.  That little button at the front of the coffeemaker?  It controls everything.  It even controls whether or not there's coffee for the peep.  You don't turn it on?  You don't get your coffee.  MOUSES!

On the third day...

Well on the third day, the peep got her coffee.  I made sure of it.  I stood there and watched over her, makin' sure she did everythin' correctly.  I couldn't deal with a coffeeless peep for a third day in a row.  I just couldn't stand it.  I had to make sure the peep got some coffee in her, once and for all.

I was beginning to think that perhaps my peep was even crazier than originally thought.  Crazier than your typical crazy peep.  Crazier than squirrels makin' nut...  Nah, no one is as crazy as that.

And if she wasn't crazy, she was bein' down-right forgetful.  Bein' down-right forgetful, for sure.  Either that or she was nipped.

Oh my gosh...  I just thought of somethin'.  What if the peep was nipped on my nip?  MOUSES!

I've gotta go check on my stash.  Be right back.