Okay, so maybe not ever. Maybe...
Ummm...
This mornin'?
MOUSES!
It really was an unusually tasty brekkie, Peepers. What did you do differently? Did you saute it in tuna water? Garnish it with nip? Oohhh... Did you infuse tuna water with catnip, then saute my brekkies in that?
No?
You say you just opened a tin?
Well I'll be.
MOUSES!
Actually, now that I think about it, I do believe the difference was in how my brekkies were served. It was kinda nice havin' you hold the plate up for me like that. Hold it up under my chin. You know, so that I didn't have to bend down and eat off the floor.
Sorta felt like you were waitin' on me hand and foot. I mean, paw and paw. I mean...
Whatever.
MOUSES!
Point is, you were providin' excellent service.
MOUSES!
You know...
You know, I really did enjoy eatin' my brekkies in that elevated manor. I'm thinkin' I might need one of those raised servin' tray thingies some kitties have. Yeah, I'm thinkin' I might need one of those, for sure.
You want me to go ahead and order one on-line?Well you don't have to be so testy, Peepers. It's not like I borrow your plastic money card thing willy-nilly. I ONLY borrow it to order important stuff.
Important stuff like toys and nip.
And whisks.
Not necessarily in that order.
MOUSES!
But all that aside, I do want one of those raised serving trays, so if you're not gonna loan me your plastic money, you'll have to go out and get one yourself.
Either that or be prepared to hold my plate up for me to dine at all meals, which would be perfectly acceptable to me, of course, but I'm thinkin' you might get a cramp or somethin' in your paw at some point, WHICH WOULD INTERFERE WITH MY EATING PLEASURE, so really and truly, we had best go with the tray after all.
MOUSES!
And when you're out lookin' for my raised tray, how 'bout lookin' for a new cat bed and blankie and maybe a fancy-schmancy latrine?
I MEAN BIDET!
Don't think they make fancy LATRINES.
Oohhh... Or how 'bout a throne? I know in some parts of the world, humans call THEIR litter boxes, thrones.
And speakin' of thrones...
I wouldn't mind one of those, either. The other kind. You know, a general, run-of-the-mill, jewel-encrusted, gold-plated throne. One with a plush velvet pillow for nappin' on and...
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
For mousin' out loud, Peepers, I SAID gold-PLATED. It's not like I'm askin' for the world.
MOUSES!
But first things first. I'm feelin' a might peckish, Peepers. You think you could hold that there plate up for me so that I might enjoy a snack?
Yeah, that plate there. The one with my mid-mornin' nibbles.
Thatta girl, Peepers.
MOUSES!
