turn it off

Turn it off.

TURN IT OFF.

TURN. IT. OFF.

For the love of mouses, COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TURN  THE HEAT OFF?

MOUSES!

Way back when, sometime in June I believe, SOMEBODY decided to turn the heat way, WAY up.

Somebody...

Hmph, that somebody was Probably a PeeP.

MOUSES!

And you know what?

THEY NEVER THOUGHT TO TURN IT BACK DOWN.

MOUSES!

So now it's August, and the heat is WAY hotter than any heat should ever be.

Do peeps not know we cats can't deal with this kinda heat?

Well, it's not so much that we can't deal with it, as we don't wanna.  I mean, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would wanna deal with this kinda heat?

MOUSES!

What's more, they're laughin' at us.

The peeps, I mean.  The peeps are laughin' at us cats.

OH YEAH, that's right, they're LAUGHIN'.

Why just the other day, I was lyin' on the family room floor, and I SWEAR I heard Peep #1 laughin' at me on account of the heat.

It's true!  She said something 'bout my lookin' like I was doin' a hula dance as I was lyin' there on my back with my front legs stretched to one side.

I was simply airing out my tum.

And truth be told, I was airin' out my bum, too.

MOUSES!

You know, Peep #1 wouldn't appreciate it if I were to go around laughin' at her while she's airin' out her bum.

Okay, so she doesn't actually go 'round airin' out her bum.

Her loss, 'cause in this kinda heat, airing out one's bum helps a lot.

But I bet she wouldn't appreciate it if I were to go around laughin' at her for other reasons.

Okay, so I DO do that but seriously, she is just a peep, whereas I, Seville the Cat, am a cat.

And we cats are super sensitive to stuff like that.

MOUSES!

But back to this heat.

It's hot.  Too hot.  Way, way, WAY too hot, for sure.

DOES NO ONE KNOW I'M A CANADIAN KITTY LIVIN' UP HERE IN CANADA?

Canada is SUPPOSED to be COLD.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, if I ever find the peep who's to blame for all this.  The peep who turned the temperature  way up...

If I ever...

IF I EVER...

The first thing I'm gonna do is...

Well...

Well I don't quite know what I'll do.

Not yet.

It's too hot to think 'bout stuff like that right now.

But I WILL figure it out.

Eventually.

And then...

AND THEN...

And then I'm gonna laugh at 'em, for sure.

Yup, laugh right at 'em.

Laugh right at 'em while I'm doin' whatever it is I'm gonna do.

MOUSES!

too hot to handle

Hey Peepers!  Pass me another niptini, would you? And toss in an ice cube or two.  That last one was kinda warm. MOUSES!

Last week was SO hot...

Sounds like a good openin' for a joke or somethin', doesn't it? Thing is, I'm in no mood for jokin'.  It has been way too hot for jokin', so I'm just gonna have to let that one go.  Yup, gonna have to let it go, for sure.

Peepers, I appreciate the iced niptinis and all, but enough with the cuddling, okay?  I'm too hot to handle.  MOUSES!

Does no one out there realize I have a fur coat?  MOUSES!

You know, I almost - ALMOST - feel sorry for those two long-haired marmie brothers of mine, on account of their havin' fuller coats than I.  Of course, Anderson does have that lion cut going on, which might help with the heat, a bit, although it is startin' to grow in.  Yup, he's lookin' kinda shaggy, for sure.

Shaggy...  Hehehehee...  Remember Shaggy from that television show, Scooby Doo?  Scooby Doo's pal, Shaggy?  Well Shaggy's hair and Andy's fur are a lot more similar lookin', these days, than you might think.  MOUSES!

But back to the heat.

So last week, it was hot.  I know it wasn't nearly as hot as where some of you cats out there live, but for us Canadian kitties, it was hot.  It was SO hot...

Oh yeah, I was gonna let that one go.  MOUSES!

Truth be told, the actual temperatures probably weren't all that bad, but Ms. Humie Humidex came along and made 'em intolerable.  Humidex shumidex...  Humidecks.  Hmmm...  And speakin' of deckin', I was ready to deck someone, for sure!

Luckily for the peeps, I'm a pretty good-natured kitty and was able to refrain from deckin' anybody. The same, however, cannot be said of some of my fur-sibs.  MOUSES!

Let me put it this way.  Hmmm...  No, let me put it that way.  Mmmm...  Nope, let me put it....

Oh what the mouses.  Thing is, we had some cranky kitties at my house, and that is for sure.

Why just yesterday, Rushton went over to Tobias to give her a sniff.  Well Toby was too hot for sniffin', so she gave him a hiss.  Rushy thought he'd push his luck, and kept on sniffing, which was a mistake, 'cause the next thing we knew, Toby was on her back, hissin' and spittin'.   But Rushton was too hot to think straight so he just kept on sniffing and then Toby made a run for it, raced toward the house, and jumped through the kitchen window, with Rushton hot on her heels...  Ummm... Paws?  Whatever.  Rushy was close behind, but because of the heat, his end of the chase kinda petered out, and he sat at the back door waitin' for a peep to let him inside.  You know, to continue the chase.  Yeah, like that was gonna happen.  MOUSES!

Rushton did get inside with the help of the peeps, but there was no more chasin' to be done, so he went back outside to do some more sniffing.

Anderson has declared that it's so hot, he thinks it's Hawaii, and is takin' up hula dancing.

It's true!  Andy does this thing now where he lies flat on his back, hind legs stretched straight out, tummy totally exposed, and front paws over to one side, at the ready to hula.  Problem is, once Anderson gets himself into that position, he falls asleep and THAT, my friends, is a problem, 'cause when Peep #1 sees him like that, she kisses his tummy, and let me tell you, this last week has been WAY TOO HOT for kissin'.  MOUSES!

And then there is Tess.

Tess has been cranky as cranky can be.  That one has been growling up a storm, for sure.  Of course, we all know better than to blame the heat for Tess' crankiness.  Cranky is Tess' middle name, you see.  Yup, she was born cranky, for sure.  MOUSES!

Mason and I had a smacky-paw fest...  almost.  The intent was there but let's face it, it was too hot for smackin'.

And the peeps are bein' affected by the heat, too.  Peep #1's clothes are gettin' shorter and her hair is...  uh...  well...  hmmm....

To tell you the truth, Peep #1's hair is pretty much indescribable.  It's not shaggy like Andy's.  It's uh...  Well...  Well it's lookin' kinda frazzled and that, my friends, is puttin' it mildly.  She claims it's the humidity that does that to it, but so does stickin' your finger in an electrical socket.   MOUSES!

You know, if it weren't so darned, moused-up hot, I'd check out the electrics in the house to see if the peep and her hair blew any fuses.  MOUSES!

Then the other day on the news comin' out of Ottawa, I heard there were some peeps at one of the trainin' places for police, who were fired or suspended or somethin', on account of their walkin' around the office, naked.  Yeah, you heard that right.  NAKED.

Now truth be told, when I first heard 'bout these naked police peeps, I figured the heat was makin' me delusional or something, 'cause I've never heard of naked police peeps before.  Oh sure, I've heard of peeps in their nighties, out late at night with hair looking like it's electrified, causing someone to be inclined to call the police.  But naked police?  NEVER!

But then I heard it again and knew it was true.  I'm thinkin' that maybe they were just hot 'cause the humidex was gettin' on their nerves, too.  Humidexes can do that, you see.

Those police peeps should do what I do.  Kick back in front of a fan, sippin' on iced niptinis while gettin' a peep to comb up any loose fur.  Of course, you don't want that same peep actually handling you, 'cause when the humidex soars, you're too hot to handle, for sure.  MOUSES!