O Christmas Tree

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
You do so taunt me, terribly.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
You do so taunt me, terribly.

Oh hello there my friends. Can we talk?

I mean, may we talk?  I know I can talk.  I assume you can talk.  So uh...  um...  May we? Talk?  MOUSES!


Let's talk Christmas trees.

MOUSES!

You know, peeps think they're so smart.  I mean, they think they're the smartest things since sliced bread which, by the way, isn't sayin' a whole lot.  You know, on account of sliced bread not bein' all that smart.

What's that, Peepers?  WHAT?  Oh.

Apparently the sayin' is, the best thing since sliced bread.  Not the smartest.  Well as far as I'm concerned, thinkin' you're the best thing since sliced bread is kinda stupid, too, 'cause...  you know...  cats don't eat bread and therefore the existence of sliced bread is irrelevant.  MOUSES!

But about these Christmas trees.

Every year 'bout this time, the peeps plant a tree in the middle my livin' room.  Now if you ask me, this is just askin' for trouble but peeps, bein' peeps, don't see it.  MOUSES!

Now as a cat, I can assure you that trees are good for two things, and two things only.  Those two things would be climbin' and scratchin'.  Okay, maybe three things.  We might want to add sprayin' to that list, too.  MOUSES!

But when a cat happens upon a tree growin' in the middle of his livin' room, and said cat does what any cat is likely do when happenin' upon a tree growin' in the middle of his livin' room, do peeps ever blame the tree?

Better yet, do they blame themselves for plantin' a tree in the middle of the livin' room in the first place?

I mean, who the mouses grows trees in their livin' room, anyway?

And in case you hadn't yet figured it out, the answer to the above questions would be, NO.

Except, of course, for the question about who grows trees in their livin' room in the first place, 'cause for that question, there is no answer at all.  At least, not a reasonable one. MOUSES!

But back to those trees.

Peeps - BEIN' PEEPS - aren't satisfied by simply plantin' a climbin' tree in the middle of the livin' room.  OH NO, peeps - BEIN' PEEPS - have to throw a little more enticement into the mix.

Now I'm tellin' you right here and right now, a tree growin' in the middle of a kitty's livin' room is pretty enticin'.  Enticin' enough to make a kitty wanna climb that tree, for sure.  But even as enticin' as that tree is, there is one thing that will make the climbin' of such a tree even more enticin'.

And that one thing would be...

It would be a tree growin' in the middle of a livin' room, covered in lit-up strings and rollable glass balls.

Although to be perfectly honest, those glass balls don't roll very well once they're broken. MOUSES!

And don't even get me started on the bells that jingle.  MOUSES!

But back to the trees!

Well, the tree.  The one tree in question.  The tree that is currently growin' in the middle of my livin' room.  The peeps planted it Friday night.

Then, of course, it had to be replanted after a failed climbin' expedition undertaken by one very handsome marmalade dude.

You know, it turns out that these newly planted trees aren't up to much when it comes to climbin'. I mean, I know I've been enjoyin' a few extra treats durin' the holiday season and stuff, but I haven't been enjoying 'em that much.  It's not like I'm one of those long-haired marmie brothers of mine, who are apparently in a race to see which one of 'em can reach the twenty pound mark, first. MOUSES!

All I have to say is this. It's darned lucky for the peep that my climbin' expedition happened before the installation of the breakable rollables which means, of course, that not only do those glass balls still have the potential to roll, but they still have the potential to be broken, too.  MOUSES!

beginning to look

Letter off to Santa.  Check.

Tree up.  Check.

Prezzies wrapped.  Ch...  Well almost check, I guess.  MOUSES!

Yup, the season is upon us, for sure, and you know what they say.  They say, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Last night, the Christmas tree went up. Truth be told, it went up on Friday night but the peeps didn't decorate it 'til last night but boy-oh-boy, decorate they did.  Took 'em all evening long but when it was all done, everything was lit up and sparkly. Lots of little lights in pretty colours and lots and lots of glass balls for whacking.

What's that, Peepers?  Oh.  Okay.  Sorry 'bout that.  Yeah, yeah, I'll correct it. STOP NAGGING ME, WOMAN.

Apparently, the glass balls aren't meant for whacking.  Don't tell the peep I said this but I think she and I are gonna have to agree to disagree on that one.  MOUSES!

I asked Peep #1 to take a picture of the tree but she says she can't take any pictures until the boxes from the ornaments are all put away.  Right now, there are boxes scattered all over the living room floor.  MOUSES!

In the meantime, I'll see if I can dig out a picture or two of our Christmas tree from a previous year. I'm sure I have one, somewhere.  Same ornaments, pretty much, give or take a whacked one, so the tree looks kind of similar every year.

But back to those boxes.

If you ask me, the peep should just leave the ornament boxes where they are because I wouldn't mind napping in a couple of them.  Maybe even more than a couple.  The little boxes are kind of useless, due to their size and flimsy sides, but the big boxes that hold the little boxes are perfect napping spots, to be sure.  I should know.  Tried one out yester...

What's that, Peepers?  No, I didn't break it.  Your precious box is just fine.  Might have left some loose fur in it or something but I certainly didn't break anything.  Boy-oh-boy...  MOUSES!

Some peeps.  MOUSES!

And speaking of boxes, Peep #1's best pal from her kittenhood sent the peep some prezzies through the mail and they came in - you guessed it - A BOX!  And it's a super good box, too.  That pal of the peep's sends the best boxes, every year.  Don't know how she does it but they're always the perfect fit for us cats.  Yup, I've test driven this year's box already and I'm giving it five stars, to be sure.

And speaking of mail...

Once again, the peep has been neglectful with her mailing duties.  Pile of Christmas cards sitting on the dining room table, waiting to be mailed out.  There's no way they're going to make it to their destinations by Christmas.  Christmas is less than a week away!

But being the ever-so-helpful kitty that I am, I offered to paw deliver the peep's letters to everyone for a small fee.  I figured that if I fired up the ol' teleportation device, I could get all that mail delivered faster than you can twitch a whisker but oh no...  OH NO, we couldn't have that.  Peep #1 says that some of her pals might have a heart attack or something if they got their Christmas cards from her in time for Christmas.  They're just not used to the peep being on the ball with such things, you see.  As usual, she's aiming to get them mailed out by Christmas Eve.  MOUSES!

And speaking of balls...

There wasn't a single glass ball casualty when decorating the Christmas tree last night.  Nope, the peeps didn't drop a single one.  Good thing, too, 'cause if anyone is gonna be breaking glass balls on the Christmas tree, it's gonna be us cats.

What's that, Peepers?  No, no, not a one.  Nope, I haven't whacked a single glass ornament off the tree.

YET.

Anyway...

Looks like we're going to have a green Christmas again this year.  MOUSES!

Yeah, even though today is super chilly, the weatherpeeps are saying Christmas Day is gonna be pretty mild.  I guess they don't realize this is Canada because if they did, surely they would send some snow our way for Christmas.

Not that I want a repeat of last winter or anything.  Last winter was the winter to end all winters.  The winter that came and absolutely refused to leave no matter how many awful names we called it.  In fact, the more we called it names, the more it stuck around, dumping snow here, there and everywhere.  It was horrid.

But a little bit of snow sure would be nice for Christmas Day.  Might have to take matters into my own paws and see if I can do something about that.  Order up a little snow for Christmas morning and stuff.  Wonder if they sell snow on Ebay.  Hmmm....

And when I'm ordering up that snow, I'll see if I can order up a couple more boxes, too.  Day after Christmas is Boxing Day, you see.  The day when we cats celebrate the miracle that is the box.  Peeps do stuff on Boxing Day, too, but nothing as wonderful as napping in a perfectly sized box. MOUSES!