the final hours

One hundred and eighteen thousand, eight hundred.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, seven hundred and ninety-nine.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, seven hundred and ninety-eight.

What's that Peepers? What do mean, what am I doin'?  I'm countin' down! What did you think I was doin', anyway?

You thought I was babbling?  MOUSES!

Silly peep.  I'm countin' down how many seconds are left 'til my promotion month is over.  You know, how many seconds are left for cats and peeps out there to get a copy of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes and help support the wonderful and amazing Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York City.

Now where was I...

One hundred and eighteen thousand, six hundred and fifty.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, six hundred and forty-nine.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, six hundred and forty-eight.

What's that Peepers?  You think it's gonna take too long to count by seconds?  THIS is why you, Peepers, are not a world-renowned scientist in the field of whisk time travel technology.  You're simply not a world-renowned scientist like me.

Me?  Hmmm...  Nope, I think it should be I.  Or maybe it is is me.  That's a tough one.  MOUSES!

Anywho...  That doesn't really matter.  What does matter is that I understand 'bout time and stuff.  I understand that countin' down by minutes, every minute, takes the exact same amount of time as countin' down by seconds, every second.  MOUSES!

Gosh, Peepers...  Where did you go to school, anyway?

You did go to school, right?

Just checkin'...

One hundred and eighteen thousand, five hundred. One hundred and eighteen thousand, four hundred and ninety-nine.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, four hundred and ninety-eight.

More questions, Peepers?  MOUSES!

Okay, let me explain in a way you can understand. We're now just shy of thirty-three hours left before it's midnight, Pacific Time, on April 30th,  That's the deadline for a portion of the proceeds from the sales of the book Rescued:  The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes, to go to support the Anjellicle Cats Rescue in New York City.  Whether I count down by hours, minutes or seconds, the actual time remainin', remains the same. MOUSES!

Time always remains the same unless, of course, you're approachin' a black hole or somethin'.  Or in a Tardis.  Or messin' with whisks.  MOUSES!

You're just lucky I'm not countin' down in cat seconds.  To do that, I'd have to multiply everythin' by nine.

Yes, that's right, Peepers.  It's on account of the whole nine lives thing.  Least you got that part right.  Good for you.  You did go to school, after all.

Now where was I?  One hundred and eighteen thou....

Enough with the questions, Peepers!  You made me lose my place...  AGAIN.  MOUSES!

Okay.  Fine.  You win, Peepers.  I'll stop countin' down and just let the clock handle that part.  Your interruptions are drivin' me to distraction.

So here's the deal...

If you wanna help support the Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York City by buyin' a copy of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes, you have until midnight April 30th, Pacific Time, to order in a copy or two.  Or three...  Or four?  Maybe even more!

Not know 'bout Anjellicle Cats Rescue?  They're a great group of peeps helpin' save cats' lives in New York City, daily.  Like they say on their website, they're a "no-kill, all-volunteer, not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organisation" and a "member of the Mayor's Alliance and a New Hope Partner with the New York Animal Care & Control (ACC)."  Their "goal is to help make New York City a no kill city" and "for over ten years, [their] Hell's Kitchen-based organisation has been a lifeline for abandoned, stray, and neglected cats and kittens."  They "work closely with the ACC to pull out those who are in danger of being euthanized. Each one is welcomed with kindness and medical attention, with the goal of placement into a permanent, loving home."

And don't forget 'bout the special paper bein' used to print...

Hmmm...  That'll take too long to explain so let me direct you to the posts about our International Blog Adventure. Remember that? Remember the recent adventure that Savvy, Silver and I took?  We started off on Savvy's blog, Savannah's Paw Tracks where she invented special paper to use for printin' the Rescued book.  Then Silver picked up the story on the DashKitten Blog, and he related how he hacked into the FitCat Publishing computers to make the paper work with their presses.  Finally, I finished up our adventure right here on my blog, Nerissa's Life, with my scorin' a roll of that special paper all for myself.  Well...   not all for myself.  I shared it with my fur-fam, of course.

So that's about it, my friends.  'Bout everythin' I have to say 'bout the Rescued book and my pals over at Anjellicle Cats Rescue and about our adventure and about...

And about the speed at which time travels and how it's constant and whatnot.  Well, providin' there are no whisks involved.  But usually the speed of time is constant.

Hmmm...

One hundred and eighteen thousand, two hundred.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, one hundred and ninety-nine.  One hundred and eighteen thousand, one hundred and ninety-eight.

That's right, Peepers.  I've started countin' down again.  Can't help myself.  I like to finish what I start, you see.

You know, I wonder if I should be countin' down in Mississippis.  Mississippies?  Yeah, the plural of one Mississsippi must be two Mississippies, I think. Never even thought about that before.  Gosh, that realisation is a definite MOUSES! moment, for sure.

                    **********************************************************

Please remember that throughout the month of April, a portion of all sales of the book Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes will go to the wonderful Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York, helpin' them to help save cats' lives.  You can purchase your very own copy at your local book store or on Amazon by clicking right HERE.  You'll wanna stock up for holiday gift-giving, for sure.  PURRS.

odds & sods

What are sods, anyway? MOUSES!

Odds and sods... Apparently, they're bits and pieces.  Interestin'... You know, I find it very odd that the sods in odds and sods has nothin' to do with sod.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

But that's enough about that.  Let's get down to business here and start discussin' my odds and my sods.  Okay?  Okay. So glad we have that sorted.  Now to start sortin' my bits and my pieces.  MOUSES!

As promised, in this here blog post I'll be announcing the three winners of copies of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes but before I get to that, I have a couple of awards to tackle.  Now let's see...

In the past week or two, I managed to score two awards.  The first was, I am told, for very inspiring bloggers.  My dear friend Basil, from Basil the Bionic Cat's Blog, honoured me with the lovely Very Inspiring Blogger Award and then, my wonderful pals over at the 15 and Meowing blog did so, too.  Yoo-hoo!  YOO-HOO!

Truth be told, I've already received this lovely award but I decided that since I really love awards, I would accept it once more.

I'm supposed to list three things that inspire me.  Well that's pretty easy.

Firstly, my peeps inspire me.  Or rather, they provide inspiration for many a blog post.  Perhaps inspiration isn't the most appropriate word.  Fodder?  Yeah, fodder.  They provide fodder for many a blog post.  Especially Peep #1.  She's always up to mischief about which I can blog.  MOUSES!

Secondly, the news and in particular, news comin' out of Ottawa.  Hmmm... That one probably falls into the fodder category, too.  Once more I must say, MOUSES!

Thirdly, I am inspired by the garden and the great outdoors and Mother Nature, herself.  Birds singin' and flowers blooming are inspiring for both body and soul.  Nothin' else like 'em, at all.  Very inspiring, for sure.

Award number one down and onto number two.  My friends over at the 15 and Meowing blog gave me the Creative Blogger Award as well.  And then, just the other day, my pal Simba from Simba's Antics gave it to me, too.  Yoo-hoo!  YOO-HOO!

This award is also one I have received before but, like I said earlier, I LOVE AWARDS!  How could I resist not acceptin' it again?

For this award, I must list five things about me.  Hmmm...

Well for starters, I'm a mancat.  I know that most of you probably already know this but Ol' Peepers here went and gave me a girls' name and in doin' so, created a lot of confusion.  Just thought I'd mention it again.

Secondly, I've been published!  In print and everythin'.  That's right, in case you hadn't heard, my rescue story is in the book, Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes.  I wrote it myself.  My personal rescue story, I mean.  It's the story of my first few formative months.

Number three...  Let's see...  I have been diagnosed with the medical condition Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency.  More on that in just a bit.

Fourthly, I've been gettin' out in the garden in the last week or so.  This is kinda big news on account of the rotten winter we've had that simply refuses to leave.  There's still some snow on the ground but it is goin' and things are comin' to life in the garden.  I'm hopin' to get out more and more with each passing day.

And finally, I'm vyin' for a Senate position.  Yeah, you've probably heard 'bout that, too, but just in case you haven't, I'll mention it again.  What I need is for the Prime Minister of Canada to appoint me to the Senate.  That's all.  Don't need to run in an election or anythin'.  Senators aren't elected here. They're appointed.  One little appointment is all I need.  #Niss4Senate - Tell the PM, today!

For both of the above awards, I'm supposed to thank the bloggers who gave 'em to me so... THANK YOU!!!  Please feel free to visit their blogs.  They all have great blogs, for sure.  Just click on their blogs' names and you'll be magically transported right over to 'em.  Easy peasy, I do believe.

And I'm also supposed to pass the awards along but I think everyone already has 'em.  But if not, and if you'd like one, please grab either or both and know that you're doin' so with my blessing.

I would also like to thank my pals over at 15 and Meowing for the lovely get-well prezzie they sent. You should see the toys!  Their mum made 'em with yarn and stuffed 'em with nip and boy-oh-boy, they really are great.  I love 'em!  We all do.  Yes, I'm sharin', for sure.

The peep was gonna take a picture of me with that lovely get-well gift but truth be told, I'm not lookin' my best right now so we decided to hold off on any picture takin'.  I wanna look my best for the camera.

And that brings me to a medical update.

Like I said, I have Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency.  Basically, my body is no longer producin' the enzymes necessary to digest food so even though I'm eating, it's hard to get proper nutrition.  That resulted in my losin' a lot of weight.  Way too much weight, for sure.

Things were pretty touch and go for a while.  The only meds I could get up here in Canada were in powder form and they HAD to go into my food.  It was so gross.  The meds were partially digesting the food before I ate it.  I was literally eatin' partially digested food!  MOUSES!

Actually, that's not quite true on account of the fact that I was refusing to eat.  Did I mention that the food with my meds was gross?

So the peep did some research and found that in other countries, my medicine is available in tablet form but she couldn't get it here in Canada.  But then we found an American company willin' to work with my doctor to get a special import permit and things were lookin' up.

But in the meantime, my doctor found a source for my meds right here in Canada!  And they're tablets and everythin'!!!  They're not actually meant for cats.  They're people meds.  Yup, I'm takin' peep meds and taking 'em like the real trooper, I am.

So the Peep says that I appear to be holdin' my own.  I've only thrown up a couple of times since startin' the tablets and my poops are much firmer.  I have a weigh-in tomorrow and have my paws crossed that I'll have gained an ounce or two.  If so, I'm on the path to recovery, for sure.

And now for the big news.  The big news for which you've all been waiting.  The winners from our adventure!

In case you missed it, my pals and I went on an adventure to promote the book, Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes.  It all started when Savvy of Savannah's Paw Tracks invented a new form of paper containing the nip.  The story continued on the DashKitten blog with Silver teleporting over to FitCat Publishing to hack into their computers so that we could secretly substitute Savvy's new paper for the plain ol' paper they had previously been using.  And finally, we concluded our story right here on Nerissa's Life when I managed to score a roll of that special nip paper for myself!

Okay, okay...  I know...  You're all dyin' to know who won books.

Savvy's mum put all the entries - and there sure were a lot of 'em - into that ol' Random dot com thingy and three names were selected.  And the winners are...  Drum roll, please.

Winner number one is...  Toby & Leia from The Whiskeratti!

Winner number two is...  Sammy from onespoiledcat!

Winner number three is...  The J-Cats from Purr-sonally Speaking!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!  We'll be in touch with each of you shortly for contact information so that we can send you your copy of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes.

Finally Savvy, Silver and I just wanna give each and every one of you out there all a great big hug and thank you for taking the time to enter our giveaway.  You all made our adventure a rip-roaring success, for sure.  THANK YOU!!!  purrs

                    **********************************************************

Please remember that throughout the month of April, a portion of all sales of the book Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes will go to the wonderful Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York, helpin' them to help save cats' lives.  You can purchase your very own copy at your local book store or on Amazon by clicking right HERE.  You'll wanna stock up for holiday gift-giving, for sure.  PURRS.

the publishing caper

Previously, on the DashKitten blog...  This may take a little while, could you keep an eye on things while I get to work? Nerissa????  Where has the boy gone...

Silver looked to both his left and his right.  He twitched one ear, angling it so that he could listen for any traces of sound but heard nothing. Nothing but silence. Jumping onto the desk before him to get a better view, he scanned the room.  Nerissa was nowhere in sight.

"But he was here just a minute ago..."  Silver's voice echoed in the empty room.  Shaking his head, he went back to work, hacking into FitCat Publishing's computers.  There wasn't time to wonder what kind of mischief Nissy had gotten himself into this time.

Meanwhile at the other end of the hall...

"Oh my gosh!  OH MY GOSH!!!  Just look at this paper!," Nissy exclaimed, excitedly.  Putting his nose to the huge paper roll before him, he breathed in deeply.  "Ohhh...  HEAVENLY.  That Savvy is a genius, for sure."

Following his extremely sensitive nip-sensing nose, Nissy had discovered the printing press room for FitCat Publishing.  In it, were rolls upon rolls of Savvy's new invention, Necata Paparus.  He jumped up on one of them and breathed in the heavenly scent of the catnip-infused paper.  It was marvellous.

"This stuff is amazin'!" Nissy squealed with delight.  "Durin' the month of April, a portion of all sales of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes goes to one of my favourite causes, Anjellicle Cats Rescue of NYC.  And we're gonna sell so very many books if they're printed on this incredibly nippy paper.  The more books that are sold this month, the bigger the donation for Anjellicle Cats will be.  Yoo-hoo!  YOO-HOO!  This is the best."

Nissy glanced over at the door to the printing press room.  "I should probably go find Silver and see what I can do to help.  He did ask me to be on the lookout while he was hackin' into the FitCat computers to adjust the settings so that the presses would accept this paper.  I should probably go do that now but..."

"But this paper is just so amazin' I don't know if I can leave it just yet."  Nissy was torn.  Silver might be in need of his help but at the same time, how on earth could he leave a room full of paper infused with nip?  He was faced with a dilemma of astronomical proportions.

Hopping down onto the floor, Nerissa began to inspect the rolls of nip paper.  "I wonder if Savvy has sent enough of this stuff," he pondered aloud.  "Actually, it looks like there's quite a bit of it here.  Hmm..."

"I wonder if maybe there's a roll of this nip paper to spare!"  He counted the gigantic rolls within sight.  "By gosh and by golly, I do believe there is.  I think that just maybe it would be okay if I were to take one of these rolls - just the one - of nip paper home with me. After all, today is April 15th and April 15th does happen to be my birthday.  If a kitty can't have a roll of nip-infused paper on his birthday, when can he? Gosh, I could wallpaper a whole room with this stuff. Carpet it, too. Nip-infused wallpaper.  Wall-to-wall nip paper. Oohhh... What a plan."

"But I'm thinkin' that Silver and Savvy might not approve.  What to do...  What to do..."  Nissy sat back on his haunches and thought for a moment.  "Clearly, I need to get this roll of nip paper out of here without either of 'em findin' out.  MOUSES!"

So he set his plan in motion, managing to roll one of the huge paper rolls into the hallway of the FitCat Publishing offices.  It was hard going as the roll was so big and he was only the size of a cat. Also, the paper roll kept insisting on unrolling as he pushed it along.  "MOUSES!" Nissy cried in frustration.  "This isn't workin' at all."

Nissy thought he heard a noise ahead and peered down the hallway.  Had Silver heard him working with the roll of nip paper?  He knew he needed to make less noise to prevent being caught.

"Excuse me," said a rather refined, young voice.  "But who are you and exactly what are you doing with that paper?"

"Who am I?" Nissy asked.  "Who are you?"  Extending a paw he greeted the somewhat familiar-looking young ladycat with, "Name's Nerissa.  Nerissa the Cat."

"Oh I know you.  You're one of the authors of the book my human published."

"Of course, you're Summer!" cried Nissy.  "Very pleased to meet you, indeed.  As for this paper, I'm just uh...  borrowing one of these rolls for a bit.  Borrowing...  Yeah, that's it.  Quality control, nip inspection sort of thing and all that.  With it being a new kind of paper and all, inspections must be done."

Summer narrowed her eyes a bit and stared sternly at Nissy.  "I've heard talk, Nerissa.  Some say you're a bit of a nip head.  Are you sure you're not just trying to keep one of these paper rolls all to yourself?

"Well...." and Nerissa pawed at the floor where he was standing.

"Besides, you'll never get that roll of paper into the elevators.  It's far too large," explained Summer.  "But I may have a solution."

Working together, Nerissa and Summer managed to cut one of the rolls of nip paper into smaller pieces that could be packed into boxes and easily transported home.  Nissy could hear Silver steadily working away on the computers in the next room and hoped that Summer was unaware of his presence although she was clearly a highly intelligent cat and he suspected she had known all along exactly what the two cats had been up to.  After all, she never did question the fact that the paper for Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes had been replaced with Savvy's very special Necata Paparus.


Special guest appearance by Summer, courtesy of the Sparkle Cat blog.


And we're havin' a GIVEAWAY!  Savvy, Silver & I are givin' away copies of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes to three lucky readers.  To enter, simply leave a comment on one, two, or preferably all three of our adventure posts.  You many enter only once on each post. Draw is open worldwide unless prohibited by law.  Deadline to enter is 11:00pm, ADT on Sunday April 19th, 2015 and winners will be announced on my blog, Wednesday April 22nd.  purrs


                    **********************************************************

Please remember that throughout the month of April, a portion of all sales of the book Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes will go to the wonderful Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York, helpin' them to help save cats' lives.  You can purchase your very own copy at your local book store or on Amazon by clicking right HERE.  You'll wanna stock up for holiday gift-giving, for sure.  PURRS.

in the news

HOLY FLYIN' FRYIN' PANS!  Is that a robin I see?  Out there in the garden?  With snow still on the ground? MOUSES!

Unfortunately, the robins are out and about, here in Nova Scotia.  I feel really sorry for the little guys 'cause they must be starvin', for sure.  We still have a couple of feet of snow and there isn't a worm to be found.  With all this wonky winter weather most likely caused by global warming, the early bird can no longer get his or her worm.  MOUSES!

But speakin' of things that fly, did you hear 'bout the new Amazon drones bein' tested right here in Canada?  Well not right here at my house or anythin' like that.  In fact, they're testin' them on the other coast but up here in Canada, nonetheless.  MOUSES!

One day in the not-too-distant future, we'll be able to order somethin' from Amazon and have it delivered right to our doorstep in thirty minutes or less.  That's right, they're sayin' that small items will be flown in by drone right to your kitty condo door.  Talk about customer service!  We're livin' in the future, for sure.

You know, you expect stuff like that in science fiction and Harry Potter but in reality?  Never thought I'd see the day.  Imagine bein' able to order up a copy of Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes and with a little click here and a little click there, find that very same book sittin' on your doorstep, thirty minutes later.  Wow.  Currently, we have to wait at least twenty-four hours.

And speakin' of Rescued:  The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes, do you have your copy as of yet?

But back to the drones.  I'm wonderin' if the peeps runnin' Amazon might be interested in usin' eggbeater teleportation technology with their new endeavour.  It, too, is the technology of the future, for sure.  MOUSES!

You know, I'm just itchin' to go on another adventure.  Itchin' and itchin' and ITCHIN'!  What's that, Peepers?  No, I do not have fleas.  It's a different kind of itchin', you see.  MOUSES!

Don't tell the peep but word on the street is that Silver and Savvy and I have an upcoming adventure up our sleeves.  Yup, tucked right up there in our sleeves.  We're plannin' somethin' super big, for sure.

Note to self:  Buy a cat-sized sweater or somethin' with sleeves.  MOUSES!

And did you hear about my birthday?  I'M GONNA BE TWELVE.  It's true, exactly one week from today, I'll be turnin' the big one-two.  I'm hopin' they'll be some nip.

Of course, with my recently diagnosed medical condition, things here have been a little touch and go.  For a while there, the peeps were wonderin' if I'd make it to my birthday.  At my weigh-in last night, it was discovered that I've lost a little more weight and Peep #1 says I can't afford to lose even one more ounce.  But she received some good news today.  There's nothin' definite or anythin' but suffice it to say, there's a glimmer of hope shinin' in.  Things are lookin' up, I do believe.

One of the problems at paw has been gettin' an appropriate medication for my condition.  There's stuff available in the United States which is bein' used quite successfully, too, but a kitty can't get his paws on it up here in Canada.  The Canadian government can be a real stickler 'bout these things, you see. Not fair, really.  Canadian kitties need medicine, too!

This is just one more reason why I, Nerissa the Cat, should be appointed to the Canadian Senate.  Once appointed, I'll make sure that appropriate rules and regulations are kept but that life-saving medicines are available to all.  MOUSES!

#Niss4Senate - Tell the Prime Minister, today!  Seriously.  Tweet him, call him up, write him a letter...  He'll love hearin' from you, for sure.

And speakin' of the Senate.  Lots of Senate-related stuff is currently in the news but don't you worry, my friends.  I, Nerissa the Cat, am watchin' like a hawk and compiling the facts.  I'll have things to report, for sure.  In fact, I'm feelin' a cheese-snackin' induced dream comin' on and I wouldn't be at all surprised to find myself bein' called in by the Royal Canadian Mouseland Police.

And speakin' of cheese, there's more good news!  Now that the peep understands exactly how my medicine works, I might be able to indulge in a little snackin'.  Not too much but just a little somethin' to make my life worth livin', you know?  Just a little nibble or two.

There's just one thing more I feel the need to say.  A little reminder of sorts.  Bear with me, if you will.

You ever notice how some peeps wanna be right 'bout stuff at all costs?  That's right, they don't care what the cost as long as they're right.  Basically, they're investin' in the wrong stuff and investin' in the wrong stuff almost always proves to be costly.  MOUSES!

Sometimes, peeps come up with a plan.  The plan makes sense and the plan's goal, off on the horizon, is a good goal, for sure.  So those peeps set their eyes on that goal, forging ahead.

But then somewhere along the way, they encounter an obstacle or two and that path that was paved with only the best of intentions, becomes a little rocky.  The path slowly bends and a corner is cut here and another is cut there.  The goal is still off on the horizon and still very much in view and yet somehow, its importance becomes secondary to somethin' else.  The peeps on the path start payin' more attention to the stones paving the path than the destination, itself.  And that path becomes their goal.

And because of all the hard work put into pavin' the path, the peeps wanna prove that pavin' it was worthwhile.  They've invested their hearts and souls into that path and its success becomes the most important thing of all and eventually, there's nothin' else in sight.

To admit that the path isn't leadin' them to where they originally wanted to be led, would be the same as admittin' defeat.

So it's important to remember that sometimes things just don't work out as planned.  Even with the best of intentions, things can fail.  And when somethin' fails, there's nothin' wrong with admitting that failure.  In fact, admitting such things is one of the most courageous things one can ever do.

There's importance in bein' earnest.  In bein' truthful to oneself and everyone else.  Being right at all costs is not bein' earnest at all.

In other words, when things don't work out as planned, ADMIT IT.  Admit it to yourself and everyone else. Accept responsibility for whatever happened and start repairing any damages so that once more, your original goal can come back into sight.

Of course, this advice applies mainly to peeps and not to us cats 'cause cats are almost always right 'cause you know, we're cats.  It's in our nature to be right, you see.  And on the rare occasion when we might happen to be wrong, we stop whatever we're doin' and start washin' our tails, remindin' the world that we didn't go adrift at all but rather, simply changed our minds, mid-stream.  Once again I must say, MOUSES!

                    **********************************************************

Please remember that throughout the month of April, a portion of all sales of the book Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes will go to the wonderful Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York, helpin' them to help save cats' lives.  You can purchase your very own copy at your local book store or on Amazon by clicking right HERE.  You'll wanna stock up for holiday gift-giving, for sure.  PURRS.

grounded

What do you mean I can't...?  Awww... MOUSES!

So there you have it, my friends.  I'm grounded. And for me, this grounding is of a double-whammy nature, for sure. Not only am I not allowed outside at the mo, but I'm also not allowed to do any teleportin' as teleportin' involves flyin' and apparently flies in the face of bein' grounded. Again I must say, MOUSES!

As you may have heard, I've been havin' some issues with my health.  This, of course, is the reason for my grounding.  One might think it makes sense and one might even be right about that but still, a kitty has gotta have some fun, you know?  Of course you know.  MOUSES!

So on account of my grounding, there are no Easter adventures, for me, this year.  Of all the rotten luck.  MOUSES!

What's that, Peepers?  You think I'm sayin' MOUSES! too much?  Yeah, you're probably right about that.  Awww.....  M...   Um....  Never mind.  I probably should stop sayin' MOUSES! at least for today.  You know, on account of this bein' Easter Sunday and all.

I will instead give you all an update on my health.

As you know, I was losin' some weight.  I wasn't dieting or anythin' like that.  In fact, my appetite was as good as always.  Maybe even better.  Actually, maybe too good.  At times, I was ravenous and yet, I was still losin' weight.

My doctor ordered up a series of blood tests checkin' my thyroid, kidney function and to see if I had diabetes.  The only thing even a little bit off was my thyroid so the next thing I knew, I was takin' little pink pills, daily.  At first, they seemed to be workin' but then, all of a sudden, I was weak and feelin' even worse than before.

Some more blood work showed that I had an elevated white blood cell count, or somethin' like that. So I was off the little pink pills and onto some little blue ones.  No, I wasn't takin' those little blue pills that my stalker, Mr. Anonymous Spam, is always flogging.  The ones I was taking were antibiotics, I do believe.

I had just finished my last day of the little blue pills when suddenly, I could couldn't walk on one leg.  Hmmm... Perhaps I should rephrase that.  I wasn't tryin' to hop around the house on one paw and findin' I couldn't but rather, one of my legs was too sore for me to put any weight on it at all.  It was so sore, in fact, I was cryin' in pain.

The leg in question was - and still is - my leg with the bionic knee implants so the peeps were extra concerned that my bionics were failing.  I was then whisked off for an emergency doctor visit that night, only to be told that my bionics were fine but I had likely pulled or sprained somethin' and was sent home with more pills. This time, they were white.  Pain meds and whatnot.

First thing the next week, I went back to the hospital to visit my doctor who had bionicized my knee.  She took some x-rays and found the bionics to be intact.  In fact, my leg looked just fine but there was somethin' wonky goin' on in my belly.  Next thing I knew, they were shavin' off all my tummy fur and leavin' my belly bare!  I was bein' prepared for a sonogram but totally unprepared for barin' my belly.  This isn't bikini weather.  MOUSES!

Well after that, there was a great deal of discussion goin' on in the exam room between my doctor and Peep #1.  I missed most of it on account of my plottin' revenge on the shavin' of my belly fur. Still haven't quite figured out what to do 'bout that but I'm thinkin' I should do somethin' before my fur has all grown back.

Long story short, I have been diagnosed with exocrine pancreatic insufficiency.  Basically, my body isn't makin' the enzymes necessary to digest my food any more.  So even though I was eatin' up a storm, I wasn't gettin' proper nutrition and that is why I lost so much weight.

So from now until forever, I have to have this special powder mixed into my food, about twenty minutes before I eat.  The enzymes in the powder start digestin' the food so that when I eat it, my body can handle it.

It's kind of gross.  I mean, REALLY, it is.  What do they think I am?  A BIRD?  I'm a cat for goodness sakes!  I shouldn't be fed partially digested food.  MOUSES!

Apparently Rushton, Anderson, Mason and Tobias all disagree with me 'cause they're always tryin' to eat the food with my meds.  I, on the other paw, am always tryin' to eat theirs.  We're keepin' the peeps on their toes, for sure.

Peep #1 says that if we can just get through the next few weeks, we'll have a schedule all sorted out.  I say, DON'T COUNT ON IT PEEPERS.  This is war and I'm prepared to use chemical weapons.

The other day, I managed to score some of someone else's food.  Peeps don't know how it happened but I did it.  A little while later, I used the newly installed private bathroom - litter box - in my office and suffice it to say, I cleared the room.  You see, I have found, eatin' unmedicated food kinda gives me gas.  Mouses that was strong.

How strong was it?  It was so strong that both Peep #1 and I had to exit the room.  Peep went back in, gas mask in tow.  Actually, she didn't really use a gas mask but only 'cause she didn't have one to use.

You know, when we discovered that Andy was lactose intolerant, he was given the title Sir Fartsalot but to be perfectly honest, I think that title is now mine.

Seville is busy plottin' and plannin', wonderin' if I've discovered an alternative fuel source that might be compatible with our eggbeater-whisk time travellin'-teleportation technology. So far, he hasn't found a way to capture the fuel.

And speakin' of eggbeater-whisk time travellin'-teleportation technology...   Remember last year at Easter when Seville and I were called in to help save the day?  Well since we don't get to have an adventure this year, I thought it might be nice to reminisce about our adventure last year.  There were two posts in all.  We started off with "a request for assistance" and then Seville and I ended up "savin' Easter morning."  Remember that?  If not, just click on the titles of those two posts and you'll be magically transported back in time.  And even if you do remember, you might still wanna revisit.

Anywho...  That's pretty much what's goin' on at my house.  I'm hopin' to be able to have some fun pretty soon.  Hopin' to get back to teleportin' and whatnot.  Have an adventure or two.  Until then, it's theoretical teleportation technology for me, for sure.

But before I forget, I just wanna wish everyone a very happy Easter.  HAPPY EASTER!  May the Easter Bunny be good to you all and may all your baskets be filled with the nip.


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And please remember that throughout the month of April, a portion of all sales of the book Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes will go to the wonderful Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York, helpin' them to help save cats' lives.  You can purchase your very own copy at your local book store or on Amazon by clicking right HERE.  You'll wanna stock up for holiday gift-giving, for sure.  PURRS.