"Come on Mason. Get with with the program, would you? Get over here, NOW!"
"Don't give me that ol' you-can't-get-past-the-long-haired-marmies routine. We all know you growl at 'em daily, just for fun."
"Plus, Andy doesn't even have long hair any more. Not since he got that ol' lion cut. Peep says it'll grow back eventually. It hasn't yet but..."
"...But what am I talking about? I don't care if Andy's fur grows back quickly or slowly or even at all. All I care about right now are those new treats the peep is about to give out. But she's not giving anyone anything until we're all here in the kitchen. Mason... COME ON!"
"Well just give 'em the smacky paws like you usually do."
"What's that, Mason? You say it's not that you can't get past those two brothers of ours because you're scared of 'em but rather, because they're blocking your path? You say that the doorway between the family room and the kitchen is only so wide and Anderson and Rushton are taking up the entire space?"
"Mason, I know those two long-haired - I mean, one long-haired and one formerly long-haired on account of his lion cut - boys are big on account of their both being part Coon, but they're not that big. There's enough room for you to pass between 'em, for sure. Stop playing games and get in here so the peep will give us our treats."
"Oh, I see..."
"So let me get this straight. Every time you move to the right to pass, they move to the right, too? And every time you move to the left to pass, they move to the left, too? And every time you try to pass between 'em, they get up close and personal with one another and you can't get through? MOUSES!"
"Well try jumpin' over them, then. I've seen you jump over other cats before."
"They did what? You tried to jump over them and they jumped, too? To tell you the truth, I didn't know those two boys had it in 'em to jump like that. MOUSES!"
"Ooohhhh.... Ooohhhh.... OOOHHHH... The treat bag is being shaken but there are no treats coming out. Not until we're all here in the kitchen. Come on, Mason. Come on in here and sit down."
"For mousin' out loud. I've had enough of this ol' moused-up tomfoolery and mischief. Enough is enough and I've had enough of it up to my ears. The
very tips of my ears, for sure.
MOUSES!"
And with that, I stomped over to the family room door, walked between Rushton and Andy and grabbed Mason by a paw. Pulling her forward, I spun on my hind legs and accidentally swiped Tess with my tail. "Sorry Tess, didn't mean to..." I began.
"Seville assaulted me with his tail!" I heard Tess cry to the peep before she staggered backwards, flopping down on her back like that Lebron guy after takin' an elbow to the face.
"But it was an accident!" I wailed. "An accident, pure and simple. I didn't mean to swipe Tess with my tail and I certainly didn't mean to hurt her and truth be told, I don't really think I did. I mean, my tail just kind of brushed against her and she's one to talk about tails. She's constantly tripping you peeps up with hers and..."
"What's that, Peepers? You say I shouldn't have gone off in a rage and grabbed hold of Mason by the paw?"
"BUT SHE NEEDED MY HELP!"
"Peepers, did you not see how those part-Coon marmies were blocking her path?"
"You say that none of this would have happened had I not done what I did? Well, yeah, but Mason would still be stuck in the family room and we'd still have no treats and come to think of it, we still don't have any treats so what's up with that, Peepers? We're all here now. How 'bout dishing out the treats?"
"But I already did apologize. You heard me. I said I was sorry to Tess right away."
"And I'm not apologizing to those other two 'cause I know that you know, they were up to no good," and I winked at the peep, knowing she would know exactly what I meant 'cause those two long-haired marmie boys are always wreaking havoc like only long-haired marmie boys can do. Strange how even with his lion cut, Andy still has the knack for doing such things.
At that very moment, Tess came up to me and gave me a hug.
Okay, maybe there was no hug. Perhaps that was a tad of an exaggeration on my part but she was within a paw's reach and she didn't growl at me or anything and that, my friends, is saying a lot.
"It's okay, Seville," I heard Tess say. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I know your swiping me with your tail was purely accidental. I FORGIVE YOU, not that there was really anything done needing forgiveness in the first place. And Seville? I love you because you're my brother and so very intelligent and helpful and kind and..."
Okay, perhaps she stopped right after saying she forgave me. I might have added the last little bit myself.
"So Peepers, now that that's all settled, you think you can dish out those treats? Getting the treats was the whole point of this here little exercise, was it not?"
The peep then acquiesced and we all chowed down on some treats which were super yummy and delicious and, I believe, flavoured with cheese. MOUSES!
*****************************************
Disclaimer: The incident now and forever known around the world as 'Tailgate' may or may not have happened exactly as described above. Literary license may or may not have been taken but
if taken, it was done purely by accident, with no harm intended. MOUSES!
*****************************************
And remember to leave a comment on my blog post "
out of the batter bowl" by May 29th, for your chance to win an autographed copy of Linda Reilly's book,
Out of the Dying Pan. It's a great book. You'll wanna read it, for sure. Purrs.
Melodious, dulcet tones...
Yeah, my brother Rushy does have a really nice voice. He's not a blue jay impersonatin' cat, for sure. And he doesn't sound like Peep #1 caterwaulin'... I mean, SINGIN', either. He actually sounds pretty nice. Yup, Rushy has a super sweet voice, for sure.
