Duh. Of COURSE I do, Peepers. Of course!
Kinda goes without sayin', you know.
MOUSES!
Umm... That's not a few.
NO. No, it isn't. Two is not a few. Two is a couple. Everyone knows a few is more than a couple. A few is more than two.
Don't you know anythin' about treats?
MOUSES!
Okay, so TECHNICALLY, I suppose, three might be a few. Three is more than two.
Barely.
But techno mumbo jumbo aside, three will simply not do.
MOUSES!
Yeah, yeah... Yeah, that's right, Peepers. When Saffy and I ask for a few treats, we're thinkin' more along the lines of seven, eight, nine... Maybe two dozen.
You know, that sorta thing.
So three doesn't cut it, you see.
MOUSES!
I DON'T CARE what the package says is a serving size. Packages can be wrong.
PLUS, I've seen YOU eatin' cookies.
Okay, so I've never actually seen you eat two dozen mint-chocolate cookies, Peepers. You do have me there.
BUT...
BUT IF I DID see you sit down and eat two dozen mint-chocolate cookies, I wouldn't give you a hard time about it. Nope, I wouldn't do that, at all. I, Seville the Cat, would NEVER give you a hard time 'bout eatin' two dozen mint-chocolate cookies all in one go.
'Cause that would be stupid. Givin' you a hard time 'bout eatin' so many mint-chocolate cookies, I mean. Nope, I'd be far better off takin' notes, gatherin' proof, and usin' said proof to my advantage when the need arises, and...
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
OF COURSE I WOULD USE proof of your mint-chocolate cookie-eatin' habits to my advantage. What kinda cat do you think I am?
Don't answer that.
I'll give you an answer to use.
Smart, Peepers. Smart is the word for which you're lookin'. A smart kitty like me gathers proof and sets it aside to use at a later date, and...
What? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?
It. Is. NOT. Blackmail. It's uh...
Well um...
Hmm...
Okay, so blackmail it is.
MOUSES!
And now that we're on the same page...
Kinda.
So now that we're on the same page, Peepers, let's just assume I have hard evidence of your mint-chocolate cookie-eatin' habits.
NOW PAW OVER MY TREATS.
And don't you dare stop at a few.
MOUSES!
You would love it here. My mom has been with us since November and she tosses handfuls of treats out all day despite my asking her not to. XO
ReplyDeleteDang, I thought a package WAS the serving size!
ReplyDeleteYou are a tough negotiator, Seville!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right, Sivvers. Seeing as how you just might have some hard evidence of your Peep's mint chocolate cookie eating shenanigans, she'd better get busy doling out those mousin' treats. Amiright?
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right, Sivvers. We have it on Good Authority that "a Few" means at least 7 or 8.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right, Sivvers. We have it on Good Authority that "a few" means at least 7 or 8.
ReplyDelete"who can eat just one" so why stop at two or three or four, etc. More noms fur the kitties! This should be on the ballot of the next election!
ReplyDeleteThat was quick verbal and mental footwork there, Seville. But what you need is hard, possibly now soft, crumbly evidence. Crumbs and chocolate fingerprints. Pictures too, before and after, possibly in the process of eating, that sort of thing. Very handy if it goes to court for an intervention of the biscuit kind, MOL.
ReplyDeleteToodle pips and purrs
ERin
dood…we catz noe that treetz iz noe wear neer de size oh any kinda cookkee sew if peepurz can N joy 20 mini, that meenz, bye law, ewe can N joy 80 treetz….inn deed 🐾‼️💙😺🦋
ReplyDeleteWe critters are at the mercy of the treat givers...blackmail is a good idea! MOL!!
ReplyDelete