Wednesday, 20 December 2017

but I'm not yet ready!

It's what?  WHAT?  It's already December 20th, you say?

MOUSES!

Christmas is only one, two, three...   Oh my mouses, it's only five days away.  Four, if you're plannin' on bein' ready for Christmas by Christmas Eve, and...

And...

AND...

And I'm not yet ready.  Not even near.

MOUSES!

Where or where did the time go?  Where?  WHERE?

Peepers!  PEEPERS!  I'm in need of some help over here.

PEE-PURRS!!!

Okay Peepers, I need paper, tape, and scissors.  Actually, I don't need the scissors 'cause my claws will work just fine.  But I need some rolls of wrappin' paper, along with some sticky tape, for sure.

And whatever you do, do NOT stick the tape to my fur.

Yeah, been there, done that.  What can I say?  MOUSES!

And Peepers?  When you return with the stuff I require, keep your eyes closed, okay?  The item I am currently wrappin' is top secret, you see.

WHAT THE MOUSES DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

I thought I told you not to stick that ol' sticky tape to my fur.

Yes, yes, I am fully aware that you were instructed to re-enter the room, eyes closed.  And yes, yes, I am fully away those instructions came from me.  BUT STICK THE TAPE ON THE KITTY IS NOT A GAME I AM WILLIN' TO PLAY.

MOUSES!

Humph!  That tape that's stuck to my butt is gonna be a problem, for sure.

Okay Peepers, you may leave now.  I have important, top secret things to do.

DON'T TRIP ON YOUR WAY OUT!

Although if you were to trip, Peepers, it would serve you right, you know.  You have any idea how hard it is to get sticky tape out of fur?  MOUSES!

Now let's see...  Where was I?  Okay, right.  I was wrappin' a prezzie for the peep.

Hmmm...  That doesn't look quite right.  When the peep wraps stuff, somehow said stuff looks better than this.  The stuff she wraps looks a whole lot better than this, for sure.  It's usually not so CRINKLY, for lack of a better word.

But how can that be?  Could the peep be better at wrappin' prezzies than me?

Nah...  That can't be it.  She must have been wrappin' prezzies THE WRONG WAY,  all these years.  MOUSES!

I'll just stick a bow on this here bare spot, and stick the prezzie under the tree.

And speakin' of things that are sticky, that sticky tape is STILL STICKIN' TO ME.  MOUSES!

Now time for my bakin'.

Let's see...  The peep made several kinds of cookies, I do believe, but in not one of 'em did she use any nip.  Silly peep.  What a sorry-tailed...   BEEP!

Hmmm....  Best not to use language like that so close to Christmas.  Santa might hear.  MOUSES!

And now for those cookies...

Hmmm...  Those don't look right.  They don't look like the peep's cookies at all.  They're all kinda...  Uh...  Well...

Well as long as they taste good, that's all that really matters, for sure.  And by tastin' good, I mean, tastin' like nip, and not sugar and spice and things not nearly as nice.  MOUSES!

Now what else am I needin' to do?

What?  What's that Mason?  What's that you're sayin'?

Yeah, yeah...  I know all 'bout the sticky tape on my butt.  Peep #1 put it on me.

Why?  WHY did she stick sticky tape on my butt, you do ask?

That's a good question, for sure.  She SAID it was an accident.  You know, on account of her walkin' about with her eyes closed while carryin' the tape in her paws.

You're right.  You're absolutely right, Mason.  It was foolish of Peep #1 to be walkin' around with closed eyes.  Foolish as foolish can be.

Why?  WHY was she walkin' about with closed eyes, you should ask?

Well...

Ummm...

You see I told her to uh...

Never mind.

MOUSES!

AND NO, you may NOT remove the tape from my butt.

MOUSES, MASON!  I thought I told you not to do that.  Now I'm gonna have a bare patch of fur for Christmas, for sure.

I'm gonna be a bare butt cat.

MOUSES!

You'll do what, Mason?  You'll cover up the bare patch where I'm now missin' my fur?  How on Earth are you gonna do that?

Oohhh...  Okay.  That sounds like a plan.

Wait a minute.

MASON, NO!

Oh for the love of mouses.  My sister just stuck a Christmas sticker on my butt.  She stuck a sticky sticker on my butt!

And now I'm back to square one.

Well I'll deal with the sticker removal later, perhaps after a nap.  After a nap and some nip, I should think.

But there's one last thing I must attend to before gettin' into the nip.  I have one last thing to do.  And it's an extremely important thing I must do, for sure.

I need to announce the winner of the knitted hat and mittens from my giveaway last week!

AND THE WINNER IS...

Drum roll, please.

EDIE CHASE!  That's right, my pal Edie won the knitted hat and mittens set.  Those will keep her toasty warm this winter, for sure.

And speakin' of keepin' toasty warm, I'm expectin' I'll be feelin' the exact opposite, this year.  I'm expectin' to be feelin' a chill.  'Cause it can get might drafty for a cat missin' a patch of fur on his butt.

And if I was missin' fur from the removal of the sticky tape, I'll be missin' even more fur once I get rid of that Christmas sticker.  You know, the sticky sticker my sister, Mason, stuck on my butt.

Mason...  Mason?  Mason, what's that you have in your paw?

It's a candy cane, you say?

And it's for ME?

Awww..  Thank you Mason.  How very thoughtful you are.  Just paw it over and...

NOOOOOOO!!!

Great.  Just great.  Now I have a sticky ol' candy cane stickin' to me.

MOUSES!


12 comments:

  1. oh my... by the time Mason's done we at M&M Central think you will be totally bald, Seville. *giggles* If you keep losing fur you'll need the peep to knit you a bodysuit. *rolling on the floor laughing*

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  2. I'm not ready either...but I'll be Edie is now!

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  3. Thank you so much, I can always use a new hat and mittens. Maybe Santa will help you get that sticker and the candy cane off. If you stick the candy cane in some nip, at least you will have something to lick while you wait. 😄

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  4. Tape, stickers and candy canes?! MOUSES, Sivvers. You've been stuck with all manner of things!

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  5. Oh Seville, that is such a sticky situation and one O cat should be in... Having said that it could have been worse and Mason could have stuck a bow on your butt! Having said that, who wouldn't want you for Christmas?
    Toodle pips and purrs
    Erin

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  6. Concats to the winner! Christmas really isn't a furperson type of holiday; no cat would invent tape that needs THUMBS to work with!

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  7. Seville, are you stuck up? Mason was furry kind to cover up your bare-butt and people at least my Mom, did have some cookie mistakes. The mistakes are so bad...even Cinnamon will not heat them!
    And its a good thing your Peep was not using marshmallows for anything...I got that stuff stuck on me!
    Purrs
    Marv

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  8. Congratulations to the lucky winner! I am so not ready for Christmas, I have a lot of cooking and cleaning to do.

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  9. YAY for your pal Edie.......and we want to wish you ALL a Very Merry Christmas and a super duper happy new year to!!

    Love, Teddy and Mom Pam

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  10. Congratulations to the winner!
    Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year...

    Noodle and crew

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  11. Is the sticker oen of the scratch & sniff kinds at least? Maybe it smells like nip once scratched? I think there should be a clause on tape dispensers, stickers & sticky bows that state DO NOT STICK ON KITTY! But humans purr-obably wouldn't pay attention though, anyway! I think your momma needs to make you a little knit patch in case you have baldy spots! Hugs!

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