Sunday, 17 September 2017

it's here!

Oh my mouses!  OH MY MOUSES!   It's here.  It's here!  IT'S FINALLY HERE!

I'm in the nippers...  I'm in the nippers...  I'm in the nippers, YOO-HOO... Jazz paws!

This is so excitin'. Oohhh..  My tail is all a-quiver.  My order from Weasel Mart Canada dot com has arrived.

I'M SO EXCITED!  And I just can't hide it. MOUSES!

But uh...

Hmm...

Well that's not right.

Let me look at that invoice, again.

Okey doke.  Three bags of Tumbled Weed Nip.  Got 'em.  Three bags of Lacy Queen Anne's Nip. Got them, too.  But...  But...  But...  But after takin' those bags into account, THERE'S ONLY ONE BAG LEFT.  AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TWO.

MOUSES!

Let me go through them again.  There are three of this one, and three of this other one, but there's only one bag left.  Only one bag of the Mossy Wood Nip.  Only one bag, where there should be two.

MOUSES!

I'll check the invoice once more.

Hmm...  I was charged for two.  But I only got one.

Those weasels...

MOUSES!

Well there's nothin' for it but for me to call customer service.  1-800-328...

Hello.  Seville the Cat, here.  I have a problem with my recent on-line order.  Let me explain.

Yeah, I KNOW the invoice says eight bags of nip were sent and yes, eight bags were supposed to be sent, but believe me, I've looked through the package several times, and you only sent seven.

Yes, I KNOW the invoice says eight bags of nip were sent and yes, I was charged for eight bags, but believe me, I've looked through the package several times, and you only sent seven.

Yes I  know how to count.  A better question would be, do YOU?  MOUSES!

For mousin' out loud.  These weasels...

Excuse me, but may I speak with a supervisor, please?

Oh for the love of mouses, it's been like twenty minutes, and I'm still on hold, and...

Thank goodness.  I was about to give up!  Seville the cat, here.  I have a problem with my recent on-line order.  Let me explain.

YES, LIKE I TOLD THE OTHER WEASEL, I KNOW HOW TO COUNT.  And just like I asked the weasel before you, do you?  MOUSES!

No!  NO!  Darned moused-up weasel put me on hold again.

You're back!  Good.  Okay, now this is what I need.  I NEED for my order to be filled like it was supposed to be filled.  I need two bags of the Mossy Wood Nip, and I need it like yesterday.

Why?  Why do I need the nip, or why do I need it like yesterday?  Oh, never mind.  Weasels who can't get a simple nip order right, 'cause they obviously can't count to eight, aren't gonna understand why...

Well you don't have to be rude.  MOUSES!

No, I don't want you to credit my account for the missing bag of Mossy Wood Nip.  What I want is for you to send me another bag, and I'd like it to be from the same harvest as the first, please.  After all, that IS what I ordered, right?  That IS what I paid for?  So I don't see why...

What?  You understand, you say?

Well thank goodness for that.  So if you understand my problem, it should be quite simple for you to resolve it.

What?  What?  Again, you're sayin' you understand?

So...  Let me get this straight.  Do you understand my problem should be simple to resolve, or do you understand my problem, or...

What?  What?  WHAT?  QUIT SAYIN' YOU UNDERSTAND!  Clearly, you don't understand at all, 'cause...

'CAUSE IF YOU UNDERSTOOD, YOU'D BE RESOLVIN' MY PROBLEM, FOR SURE.  MOUSES!

Note to self: If I ever start up a retail business, I must never hire weasels for customer service.  They're way too weaselly by nature.

Okay.  Yeah.  I got it.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you understand.  Is that somethin' they teach you to say at Weasel Mart Canada customer service school?

For the love of mouses.  This here weasel keeps sayin' he understands without even knowin' what it is he's understandin'.

MOUSES!

Hey, Mr. Weasel!  Your mama wears ferret boots and looks like a marmot.

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  You understand.

What to do, what to do...

Okay, so CLEARLY, I'm not gettin' my second bag of Mossy Wood Nip.  The bag I ordered.  The bag I paid for with the peep's plastic card thingy unbeknownst to the peep.  The bag I...

What's that?

Yeah, yeah, you still understand.  I've got it.  Guess what.  I understand, too.

And what I understand is, I'm CLEARLY not gettin' my order filled as I ordered it. CLEARLY, that kinda thing isn't what Weasel Mart Canada dot com does.  So I guess...

I guess...

I guess...

What?  What?

Darned weasel put me only hold.

AGAIN.

MOUSES!

10 comments:

  1. Hm... I think there was something going on in that shipping department.

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  2. Oh no! Missing nip is not good, there must be an investigation!

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  3. oh dear, Seville. Looks like you got your pantaloons in a knot. oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Maybe you need a Furminator to get out those knots. So sorry they shortchanged you on the Mossy Woods nip.

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  4. Sorry Seville--I gotta take the weasels' side here--as a Canadian I know that no Canadian company could ever make such a serious mistake as missing nip! Did the parcel perchance get rerouted through the USA?? That would likely explain where the nip went missing!

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  5. I bet they're the descendants of the curs that robbed your forebear, the Premier of Nova Scotia of his Premium cheese, in my tale this week? Can you imagine how long your conversation on the telephone would have taken if it was done by post and deliver by mule!
    Toodle pip and purrs
    ERin

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  6. Nothing more annoying than those Weasels,you should be entitled to a free bag after all that I think you will need it.x🐾🐾🐾🐾😸😻💕

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  7. Nothing more annoying than those Weasels,you should be entitled to a free bag after all that I think you will need it.x🐾🐾🐾🐾😸😻💕

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really liked reading this funny post!!! Hope you got your nip...Keep sharing.
    Henry

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  9. Well fur pitty sakes! They're trying to weasel their way out of taking responsibility & correcting your order, those measly weasels! And they put you on hold?! I can't believe it - the nerve! I think you need to let out some Seville fury on em! Tee hee hee!

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