Sunday, 27 August 2017

the naming of cats

Once, way back when, there was a poem or somethin' written 'bout the naming of cats.

Well that was then.  This is now.

MOUSES!

Once, way back when, sometime last week, I think, there was a somethin' or other written 'bout the training of cats.

Yeah.  Right.  Like anyone could do that.

MOUSES!

Well actually...

Actually, it's not like cats can't be trained. It's more like most cats don't wanna be. Don't wanna be trained, that is.

MOUSES!

Once, way back when, sometime this mornin', I do believe, there was a little blog post written 'bout the training of peeps.

Now THAT'S more like it, for sure.

MOUSES!

In fact, that's just the kinda thing a cat like me would write.

And actually...

Actually, I did!  That's exactly what I was writin' this mornin'.

MOUSES!

The thing is, just like cats, most peeps don't wanna be trained, either.  But the bigger thing is, what peeps don't know, they can't complain about, and they most certainly can't resist.  So the trick is, when you wanna train a peep, just don't tell 'em what you're doin'.

MOUSES!

Fact is, peeps get trained every day.  They just don't know we cats are training 'em.

You know, I've noticed lately how my brother, Anderson, has been trainin' the peeps.

More specifically, I've noticed how he has been trainin' Peep #1.  So far, he has failed to train the second peep, and as for stranger peeps, he hasn't trained any of 'em at all.  But nevertheless, he has that first peep of mine wrapped around his little claw, for sure.  MOUSES!

Let me tell you what happened the other day.

The other day, I was sittin' up on the stool in the kitchen, havin' recently polished off some freeze-dried salmon treats fed to me on the kitchen counter, no less, and debatin' whether or not I had room in my tummy for some more, when in walked my brother, Anderson.  Now normally, that would be my cue to leave, on account of Andy kinda gettin' on my nerves as of late, but instead, this time, I decided to watch him interact with the peep.

Well up to the peep Andy marched, meowin' like there was no tomorrow, and beggin' for treats.  He was beggin' like he was starvin' or somethin', which believe-you-me, he most certainly wasn't.

Anyway...

So anyway, up to the peep he marched, beggin' for somethin' to eat.

Oh yeah, I already mentioned that.

Okay, where was I?  Oh yeah.

I uh...  I noticed that even though both peeps were in the kitchen at the time, the second peep, Andy totally ignored.  He was only askin' for treats from the first.

Now I should add, for the record, that it's not like Peep #2 never feeds Andy.  Peep #2 feeds him as much as the first peep does, but when it comes to treats, the first peep is the bigger sucker, for sure.

Need I remind you I had just polished off freeze-dried salmon treats served to me on the kitchen counter?

Of course, eatin' off the bare counter isn't as good as eatin' off crystal and china, but it's a darn sight better than makin' me eat treats off the floor, which in the absence of crystal and china servin' dishes, can sometimes happen.

And speakin' of there bein' an absence of crystal and china servin' dishes for us cats...

WELL IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT.  It isn't right at all!  But so far, my complaints regarding the lack of crystal and china servin' dishes for us cats, have fallen upon deaf ears.  But I digress.  MOUSES!

Back to Andy and those treats.

There was Andy, makin' it look like he hadn't eaten in days, rubbin' up against Peep #1's legs, and beggin' like a dog or somethin', when finally, the first peep gave in, and tossed a few treats onto the floor, in his direction.

And when I say tossed, I do mean tossed.  That's how Andy gets his treats, you see, as Peep #1 makes him work for 'em as much as possible, on account of Andy lookin' liked he has never, ever, in his whole, entire life, ever missed a meal.

Or even a treat.

MOUSES!

So across the kitchen floor went the treats, and Andy gobbled 'em up like he was in a treat-eatin' competition or somethin'.

But the thing is, the point I am tryin' to make, once again, Andy managed to get his treats.

Now thinkin' about what I had just witnessed made me realize that Andy is not nearly as dumb as I...

What's that, Peepers?  I shouldn't call my brother dumb?  FINE.  Whatever you say, Peepers.  I shall endeavour to change my wordin'.

So anyway, thinkin' about what I had just witnessed made me realize that Andy was smarter than I once thought, for Andy had clearly trained the peep, and the peep, bein' a peep, was totally unaware of her havin' been trained.

What's that, Peepers?  Of what were you unaware?

Uhhh...

Nothin'.  Nothin' at all.  I was talkin' about a totally different peep.

But back to Andy and those treats.  Clearly, Andy HAD managed to train the peep.  He meowed and treats appeared, and believe-you-me, the appearance of treats is exactly what that brother of mine had been wantin'.  What's more, he even knew which of the two peeps was easier to train.

I really have to paw it to him.  Trainin' a peep is no easy matter, and yet, Anderson had managed to do exactly that.

MOUSES!

Now, if he could just manage to train her to break out the good crystal and china when feedin' us those treats, but alas, when it comes to usin' the good dishes for treats, even the first peep appears to be untrainable.

So far.

MOUSES!

13 comments:

  1. If you ever figure out the crystal and china training please sign us up for a course. It doesn't work around here either. In fact, treats are a scarce commodity here. The old crone doles out kibble and tries to pass it off as treats KITTEN WHISKERS!

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  2. I must admit, we have both of our peeps trained darn good but sometimes they just wont listen!

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  3. I have no problem trainin' Dad P to do whatever my little Princes heart desires. But now for Mom L, she is a bit more difficult. I actually have to meow three times, not one, to get her attention.

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  4. My human has taught every cat she's ever lived with a trick or two (or in my case, a nice pawful of them). But that in NO way compares to how much we cats have trained her! We are total experts.

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  5. MOL so Anderson isn't all floor between the ears! As to the crystal and china, maybe what you need is to get that nice Mr Justin Trudeau to nip round to see you and thus have best china out so he doesn't eat his freeze dried treat off the counter?
    Toodle pip and purrrs
    ERin

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  6. Yep, that Andy has your peep #1 trained fur sure, Seville! I have my #1 trained, too, but not so much #2. My #2 won't put down moist food for me no matter how loud I turn up my purr volume, or how many times I stare at him or give him rubs. I think your peep needs to learn food service etiquette for kitties, which includes a section on correct service ware. Tee hee tee! -Valentine (& Mom) of Noir Kitty Mews

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  7. MOL Seville, Anderson sounds just like Fudge with all that meowing and carrying on - he does the same; meows like he starving then hoovers everything up and everyone elses too!

    Big hugs

    Basil & CO xox

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  8. No offense, Sivvy, but cats and crystal/china just don't go together. I couldn't help laughing though because I realized over the weekend that I've been giving Bear and Ellie treats every day. They've TRAINED me to get just a little tiny treat everyday. And neither of them have missed a meal either!

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  9. Hey Seville. At my house we go hunting for Mom to tell her we are starvy. Gidget will track her down even in the hoomom litter box room. But my new sisfur Elly has the LOUDEST mouth of all, and is very purrsistent. The biggest piggy of them all is Jack, cuz if he gets fed first, then look out, cuz all of our plates is in danger of being emptied before we get another bite in. A regular Hoover vaccum that Jack is. And Dori...well. She can be a piggy too, only cuter. Training hoomons is hard work, Sev. You should get more treats after that work out.

    Purrs! Herman!!!

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  10. How awful to make you eat your treats off the dirty counter instead of on fine crystal. You poor kitties.

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  11. Nice article, thank you for the sharing

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  12. Hopefully you both can work on how to train peeps 1 to serve your meals or treats on China or crystal.Paw paws crossed.x๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’•

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  13. I really enjoyed to read this article.

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