Wednesday, 19 July 2017

because I said so

So I was all like...

Then she was all like...

Then I was all like...

And then she was all like...

So then I was like, BECAUSE I SAID SO, PEEPERS.  MOUSES!

Well let's just say, that didn't go over too well.  MOUSES!

To tell you the truth, I'm not quite sure why. It's not like I didn't say, because I said so, nicely, or anythin'.  I mean, I said it as nicely as it could be said.

On the other paw, maybe I didn't.  Say it nicely, I mean, 'cause truth be told, I'm not sure you can have a conversation like the conversation I had with the peep, endin' with a, because I said so, that's said nicely.

And by the way, conversations between cats that end with, because I said so, rarely end well, either.  Believe me, I know.  MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, you're probably wonderin' what the peep and I were discussing before we came to blows.  To tell you the truth, I'm kinda wonderin' that myself, on account of my gettin' so involved with the argumentative part of the argument, I kinda forgot what we were arguin' about in the first place.

But I'm thinkin' it might have involved the nip.

MOUSES!

Oh yeah!  NOW I remember.  Now I remember, totally.

It all began when I overheard Peep #1 talkin' to Peep #2.  The first peep was sayin' somethin' about how well her pots of parsley were growin', and how she might bring one inside.

Now do I need to explain any further?  I mean, seriously, do I?  Do I really?  Does it require any more explanation than that?

Okay, you've twisted my paw.

So I was all like, PARSLEY ISN'T NIP, PEEPERS.  MOUSES!

Now let me tell you, my friends, I, Seville the Cat, have sniffed the parsley, and I have sniffed the nip, and they are simply not equal.  While nip is like A GIFT FROM THE GODS, parsley is nothin' but yuck.

AND I DON'T CARE IF PEEPS LIKE IT BETTER, IT ISN'T THE NIP.  MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, after takin' the time to explain to the peep the differences between parsley and nip, and after gaggin' at the suggestion that parsley is quite safe for cats to eat in moderation, and that I should give it a chance, TWICE, I...

Uh, wait a minute.  I don't think I was clear, there. When I say twice, I mean, I gagged twice.  That's right, I GAGGED TWICE at the suggestion of eatin' parsley, a suggestion that was given only the once, but had it been given twice, believe you me, I would have gagged several times more.

But then, after all my explainin' and gaggin', I was all like...

How can you even CONSIDER takin' up valuable indoor gardenin' space with the likes of anythin' not nip?

You ever notice?  You ever notice how some peeps are hard of hearin' even when technically, they aren't actually deaf?

Or maybe their hearin' is selective...

Or maybe that's what they say 'bout us cats.

Whatever.

So anyway, bottom line is, Peep #1 was thinkin' she was bringin' a pot of parsley inside while I, Seville the Cat, was thinkin' OTHERWISE.

And what the mouses is she doin', even growin' parsley in the first place, when she still hasn't mastered growin' the nip?

I'm sorry, did I say mastered?  Did...  Did..  Did...  Did I. Use. The word. Mastered. In the same sentence as the words peep, growin', and nip?  What I should have said was, stumbled through the kiddie wadin' pool while stubbing a toe on a beach ball.

Okay, so even I have to admit that makes absolutely no sense.

BUT NEITHER DOES THE PEEP'S INABILITY TO GROW THE NIP.

Make sense, I mean.  It makes no sense, whatsoever, that any peep of mine can't grow nip.

But anyway...

Anyway, that was the beginnin' of our argument that ended with my sayin', because I said so.  But let me tell you somethin'.  Let me tell you somethin' I still intend to tell the peep.  Let me tell you, there's no way, no how, any of those potted parsley plants are comin' inside, until the peep has pots of nip to bring inside, too.

And with the peep's lack of nip-growin' skills, that probably means never.

And you know somethin' else?  THAT JUST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

And do you know why?

BECAUSE. I. SAID. SO.  MOUSES!

15 comments:

  1. Our servant loves parsley, Pal. She uses it to make a really good salad. And then she eats it. She does not give it to us. She knows better. Our big bottle of 'nip is what she gives us. And the 'nip spray, too. On toys. On cat furnishings. Because, you know, CATS.

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  2. cheeky, cheeky cheeky! We love it. Keep up the good work Seville. Hugs, the M&M crew

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  3. Yeah, what's the deal with the parsley and no nip? That is just silly.

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  4. Maybe your peeps would like nip, they should at least try it. Seriously if she can grow parsley, how come she can't grow nip? Sounds fishy to me (or should it be smells fishy?). You got to put your paw down, no parsley until you get your nip.

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  5. Parsley, seriously? MOUSES. It's not easy being green!

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  6. I definitely think all peeps should grow nip!

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  7. My peep suggest hybridising the parsley and the nip to give you the best of both. We acquired a nip plant from my Palace sitter and she is a dab hand at growing the stuff and has some of the most nipped cats in the district. I shall send you some of hers so your peep can try that.
    Purrs
    ERin

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  8. Parsley AND nip, or nothing ! Purrs

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  9. dood...we total lee heer ya...iz rather de same az grill in a bass terd chckn over an open flame ore fish....ore eatin apples in sted oh donutz....ore sleepin.......well, never mind that one coz we never meeted a nap spot we dinna like ~~~ ☺☺♥♥

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  10. I don't like parsley so I am sure nip must be better. Not that I've tried it though.

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  11. All you need to do is pee on the parsley and it will get removed from the house- problem solved :) Blame it on a stray that wandered in.

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  12. Sometimes a cat just needs to put his paw down ... and maybe some claws and a fang or two :)

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  13. I agree with Bear Cat. And maybe this even calls for two paws down to get your point across to your peep. Remind your peep that it's your house & your rules, Seville.

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  14. Parsley is NOT catnip - Just saying.....

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  15. So...did the peep end up bringing in the parsley? Or did she actually listen to you?

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I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...