Sunday, 7 May 2017

missing



"Hey!  HEY!!  HEY!!! What the mousie mousin' mouses do you think you're doin'?"

Seein' what I was seein', I jumped down from the bathroom window onto the sunroom roof, and from there, down onto the deck railing.  Minutes later I was MARCHING across the backyard, toward that ol' nosey neighbourin' cat, AKA Nosey-Neighbour-Cat.  MOUSES!

"Hey you.  Yeah, YOU. Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU!" and I glared at Nosey-Neighbour-Cat.  "Just what the mouses do you think you're doin', followin' my peep around like a little lost doggy?  If ANYONE is gonna be followin' my first peep 'round like a little lost doggy, it's gonna be ME."

I stopped in my tracks and thought for a mo.  "Hmmm...  Not that I wanna be behavin' like a little lost doggy.  After all, a little lost doggy, I am not."  And so I turned back to NNC and said, "Nosey-Neighbour-Cat?  Continue as you were.  MOUSES!"

"What?  WHAT?  What's that you're sayin'?" and I waited for ol' NNC to explain further.

After hearin' that nosey neighbourin' cat's explanation I told him, "Yeah well, I might be concerned 'bout the peep's weird behaviour.  I MIGHT, 'cept for the fact that weird behaviour comes second nature to my peep."

"What?  WHAT?  What do I mean?  I mean, Peep #1 is kinda weird.  She's known worldwide for her weirdness, for sure.  Why just the other day..."

"What's that Peepers?  FINE.  MOUSES!"

"NNC, I'll tell you all 'bout the peep's weird behaviour some other time.  Some other time when the peep isn't listenin'.

"But for now, back to this business of you followin' my peep 'round my backyard, like a little doggy.  Nosey-Neighbour-Cat, why were you doin' that?"

"I see...  You say you were followin' Peep #1 around on account of her WANDERIN' around.  Her wanderin' about the backyard in a state of confusion."

"Like I said before, this kind of behaviour is really nothin' new.  Peep #1 is often confused.  Take my advice and just ignore her."

"What's that Peepers?  You say somethin' is missin'?  Somethin' like...  LIKE YOUR MIND?" and I fell to the ground and rolled onto my back in a fit of laughter.

Then under my breath, I hissed to Nosey-Neighbour-Cat, "So is that why you were followin' Peep #1 'round like a little lost doggy?  You were helpin' her to find her lost mind?  Personally, if I were you, I'd give up on that goal.  Her mind has been lost for quite some time now, and I doubt anyone will be findin' it anytime soon."

"What's that Peepers?  FINE.  MOUSES!"

"So anyway Peepers...  When exactly did you notice your mind was missin'?"

"FINE.  MOUSES!"

"So Peepers, when exactly did you notice whatever it was that you're missin', was missin'?"

"You don't say."

"MOUSES!"

"So Peepers, are you sure?  Are you sure 'bout this?  Are you sure like in...  FOR SURE?"

"Just checkin'."

BREAKIN' NEWS...  NEWLY PLANTED AZALEA BUSH HAS GONE MISSIN'.  MOUSES!


"Peepers, now can you describe said azalea bush?  Did it have any distinguishing features?  Did it have a scar, perhaps?  Or a mole?"

"No, not a brown furry runnin' about and diggin' holes kinda mole.  And not a secret spy mole, either.  I mean a mole!  You know, like in a distinguishing feature.  Don't you ever watch crime shows on TV? MOUSES!"

"So no scars and no moles.  No rodent or spy type moles, either.  Hmmm...."

"And you're absolutely positive you planted that there azalea bush in that there flower bed, yesterday? You're absolutely sure?  I'm only asking 'cause you didn't really answer my question the first time I asked.  Not really in an absolutely positively for sure kind of answerin' way."

"So let me get this straight.  Yesterday afternoon you planted one, two-foot high azalea bush, with no scars, moles, or any other distinguishing features, in that there flower bed in that there corner of the backyard.  And this mornin', there's no trace of any azalea bush to be found.  Interestin'.  Very, very interestin', for sure.  Hmmm..."

"And you've looked everywhere?  You say that's what you were doin' when Nosey-Neighbour-Cat was followin' you around?  Hmmm..."

"Did you look in the garage or out on the driveway?  I'm only asking 'cause...  Well...  Well truth be told, I'm lookin' at the spot where you said you planted the azalea bush and there isn't a trace of it to be found."

"Well I KNOW you said it was missin'.  I KNOW you said it couldn't be found.  But seriously Peepers, you're sure you planted it yesterday?  'Cause not only is there no trace of the azalea, but there's no trace of your havin' planted it, either.  There's no trace of a hole havin' been dug or anythin' like that.  It looks like the spot hasn't been touched at all.  It looks..."

"Okay, okay.  You don't have to yell.  MOUSES!"

"You think maybe someone is gaslighting you, Peepers?  You know, tryin' to make you think you're goin' crazy?  Tryin' to make you think you're losin' you mind?  'Cause if that's the case, they probably won't have to try all that hard."

"WAIT A MINUTE."

"Look Peepers.  Look over there!  Look over there by the brush pile.  You know, the brush pile 'bout fifteen feet away."

"Well I'll be...  IT'S YOUR AZALEA BUSH.  MOUSES!"

"So there WAS an azalea bush after all.  Will wonders never cease.  If I were a bettin' cat, I would have bet there had never been any azalea bush, and that you were nothin' more than a half-crazed peep, for sure."

"Now see!  That.  That there look you have on your face.   Yeah, that's the one.  That look you're doin' right now.  That's the kind of look that make cats believe you're half-crazed, for sure."

"But back to the once missin', but now found, azalea.  Clearly, after you planted it yesterday, someone came along and ripped it out of the ground, then filled in the hole, leavin' no trace of it ever havin' been there at all.  Then they either dragged it, or flung it, over by the brush pile.  Hmmm..."

"Sounds pretty unbelievable to me.  Far easier to believe you're goin' nuts, Peepers.  Sorry, but facts are facts and the evidence is clearly there."

"GET A GRIP, WOMAN.  MOUSES!"

"Well...  I suppose a rocky raccoon could have yanked the azalea out of the ground and dragged it over there.  They've been known to dig things up before.  But why would a raccoon fill the plantin' hole back in?  That makes no sense to me."

"Or I guess a neighbour could be playin' a mean ol' prank or somethin', and yanked out the azalea before flinging it over there, then filled the plantin' hole back in to...  Nah, that makes even less sense, for sure."

"On the other paw...  Peepers, have you been doin' stuff to annoy the neighbours?"

I sat back on my haunches and had a long think.

"Okay Peepers, I've thought and I've thought and I've thought, and I'm pretty sure, I've now thought it all out, and..."

"...AND I'm goin' with my original idea. CLEARLY, YOU'RE LOSIN' YOUR MIND.  MOUSES!"

"See?  SEE?  There's that half-crazed look again.  It's all over your face. What am I sayin'.  There's nothin' half-crazed about it.  That look is FULL-crazed, for sure.  It's as full as a full moon on a night with a fully full moon and..."

"What's that Peepers?  FINE.  MOUSES!"

32 comments:

  1. Hmmmmmm, that is all we have to say, Hmmmmmmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of "hmmmmms" bein' said at my house, Saturday, too. purrs

      Delete
  2. Holy cod! What happened to the azalea bush?? We bet it was those rascally raccoons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what the peep is thinkin'. She thinks they tore it up and dragged it as far as they could 'til they got to some bushes. purrs

      Delete
  3. The Strange Case of the Missing Azalea Plant... hm, could be a mystery book. Except I guess no one got murdered. Which is a good thing in real life, but kind of a bad thing for mysteries.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well... Had the bush been left out of the ground any longer, it might have ended up dead, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. ooohhh the mystery of the disappearing azalea bush

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just like out of a Nancy Drew book! MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Hello and thank you for visiting me! I am so happy to have found your beautiful and fun blog.
    The photos make me think of our ginger cat. He died more than 20 years ago but I still miss him.
    Have a lovely week & See you soon again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And thank YOU for visitin' me! You had a marmalade kitty, too? PURRS

      Delete
  6. The plot thickens . . .
    What a beautiful cat!

    -Karen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You think I'm beautiful? Awww... You're makin' me blush. PURRS.

      Delete
  7. Do you have some walkers that could have bushed wacked the bush?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't think it could be peep walkers. It was planted at the back of the backyard. No one should be walkin' back there. purrs

      Delete
  8. Just out of curiosity, you didn't uproot the azalea bush and fill the hole back in, did you? Just asking. It would be kind of funny if you did. But if you didn't ...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now would I do a thing like that?

      DON'T ANSWER THAT. MOUSES!

      Delete
  9. That is a mystery. Could Peep#2 have done it to trick peep #1?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The second peep had better not have. Peep #1 doesn't get mad. She prefers to get even. MOUSES!

      Delete
  10. I don't have the answer either, Seville, but the Full Moon does strange things to us...and plants...maybe it was going for a stroll at midnight :D Pawkisses for a wonderful day and thank you for reading my interview on Mousebreath. You all get an Extra Pawkiss for that as it was a long read :) <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a good point there. Super strange stuff has been known to happen when the moon is full. purrs

      Delete
  11. Huh. That is really strange. It seems to me that SOMEONE helped the azalea plant escape. Or someCAT anyway. Maybe you buried something that would've gotten you in trouble? Bear ate an entire azalea plant once ... we got very lucky that he didn't get sick because they are toxic for cats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He ate an azalea? MOUSES! I've never even nibbled on anythin' like that. Sounds kinda icky, for sure. purrs

      Delete
    2. OMC - Maybe it really happened this time. Your peepers lost her mind. M loses hers all the time. She can never find it again either. Maybe peeprs planted it. Stood back and admired it, then decided she didn't like how it looked there. So, she of course dug it up and threw it by the trash. Yup - she's lost her mind - M says join the club.

      Delete
    3. It could be 'cause you know, it seems to me that LOTS of peeps lose their minds, LOTS of times. I think there must be a giant lost and found box for lost minds, somewhere around. MOUSES!

      Delete
  12. Well, I guess I better keep an eye on the azalea bushes around here. Wait, there aren't any! Does that mean I'm losing it too? Or is it really those pesky raccoons?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could go either way, I'm afraid. You have rockies, too? purrs

      Delete
  13. I think your peep & my peep are both losing their minds, Seville. Ever once in awhile I find the milk carton full of milk on a shelf in the dry foods pantry! I bet ur Mom just thinks she planted an azalea, when maybe it was all just a figment of her imagination. Tee hee hee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I do believe my first peep lost her mind sometime last year and has TOTALLY FORGOTTEN where she put it. MOUSES!

      Delete
  14. Well that is a stinker Nerissa. Hope that your Peep was able to save that bush. She better put a fence around it to keep it safe this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She did! She got the bush back into the ground and since then, it has leafed out and the blooms are ready to pop. PURRS.

      Delete
  15. Really enjoyed reading about the mystery of the azaleas bush.x🐾🐾🐾🐾😻

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oohhh... When you say it like that, it sounds like the makin' of a Nancy Drew Mystery, for sure. PURRS.

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...