Sunday, 8 January 2017

you can stop it now

Okay...  You can stop it now.  MOUSES!

Hey Peepers!  You have any influence in Ottawa, you can wield?  Get 'em to stop....

WHAT THE MOUSES AM I SAYIN'?  If anyone has any influence, it's gonna be me.

Hey Peepers!  You have the number for the Prime Minister's Office, on paw?

WHAT THE MOUSES AM I SAYIN'?  I, Seville the Cat, have the Prime Minister's Office on speed-dial.

Well kinda.  Kinda as in...  As in, I can look it up and dial it really speedily.  MOUSES!

Hey Peepers!  You wanna talk to this guy from the Prime Minister's Office, for me?  He's wonderin' why a cat is callin' him and quite frankly, I have better things to do than start explainin' stuff like that.  Stuff I shouldn't have to explain at all.  I mean, I'm Seville the Cat.  If I deign to call someone, that someone's first response should be somethin' about how...  How..  How honoured they feel 'bout my calling 'em, and not...

What's that, Peepers?

No...  No.   He says he wants to talk to you.  Well, he says he wants to talk to an adult.  He's talkin' like I'm not an adult cat or somethin'.  Like I'm a kitten!  For mousin' sake...  MOUSES!

Hey Peepers!  You might wanna come talk to him now.  He's sayin' somethin' about callin' the police and...

Never mind, Peepers.  He hung up.

Kinda rude, if you ask me.

Of course, it might have been an accident.  We might have been accidentally disconnected.

I'll call him back.

Hey Peepers!  I've got that Prime Minister's Office guy back on the phone.  You wanna come talk now?

Oh there you are, Peepers.  Hold on for a second, would you?  I just need to straighten one thing out, before I paw the phone over to you.

No, YOU stop it.  No, No...  YOU.  You as in, YOU. You can stop it now.  Anytime now.  Now as in, NOW. Why the mouses do you think I called you in the first place?

Hold on, Peepers.  I need another minute.  This guy appears to be hard of hearin' or somethin'. Soon as I settle this one matter, you two can have a little chat.

Like I was sayin', I need you to stop it now.  I need you to stop this snow from fallin'.  Stop it from fallin', right away.  Right away as in, right now.  We've had enough.  It's already as deep as I am high, which is way too deep, for sure.  Over a foot, at least, and...

Well of course you don't control the weather.  I know that.  You're just some guy workin' in the Prime Minister's Office.  But the Prime Minister, himself.  You know, your boss?  Now that's a different story.  So if you could please run along and get Prime Minister Trudeau and...

You don't say.

Really?  Are you sure 'bout that?  Sure as in...  sure?  Like...  SURE?

You're absolutely positively sure Justin Trudeau has no control over the weather, huh?

None at all?

Then what exactly does the Prime Minister do?

Hmmm...   MOUSES!

Okay, Peepers.  Here.  I'm done.  You can talk to this guy now.

But let me warn you, he's kinda in a foul mood.  Clearly, he's NOT diplomatic material.  Diplomacy is not a tool in his toolbox, and that is for sure.

And for some stupid reason, he keeps threatening to call the police.  I really don't know why.  I didn't ask to speak with the police.  I asked to speak with the Prime Minister.

Oh, and if he hangs up on you?  Like I think he might have hung up on me? Don't worry 'bout it.  It was probably an accident, and all you need do is press this little redial button thingy, and the phone will call him right back.  Yeah, that's what I did earlier. Worked like a charm.  MOUSES!


31 comments:

  1. I am flabbergasted, Seville!! My gast has never been so flabbered! You mean to say he's the Prime Minister of the whole of Canada, which is, like, huge, and he can't control the snow???? he should be impeached immediately. He's there under false pretences that's for sure!! Call for a re-election immediately. I'm behind you, buddy!! :-)

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    1. I know! I would have thought that controllin' the snow would have been a top priority. MOUSES!

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  2. SERIOUSLIES? NO snow control? ~faraday
    Why I can't EVEN! ~ Allie

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    1. Neither can I. HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD? MOUSES!

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  3. Goodness, it would seem politicians aren't much good to us kitties are they?

    Hope the snow stops soon.
    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. It did, finally, but let me tell you. For a while there, it was touch and go! MOUSES!

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  4. My gast has also been flabbered! Surely it is his job as Prime Minister to stop the snow. If he can't do it, who can?

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    1. I know! The PM needs to get onto this business of snow control ASAP. MOUSES!

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  5. The politicians can likely stop the snow because they are just filled with hot air!

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  6. He should be impeached! As Canadian we must demand a moratorium on snow and cold!! Can no one help us!?!

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    1. You know, we wouldn't have these problems if he appointed a few cats to the Senate. MOUSES!

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  7. What??? He can't stop the snow? Then what does he do? Doesn't seem worth his catnip to us.....

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    1. That's what I think. If you can't stop the snow, why bother with anythin' at all? MOUSES!

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  8. My human loves your PM, but even she doesn't think he can help with the weather, Seville. Although I have to admit that the week we spent in Vancouver, in December, was bright and sunny! It snowed the day before we arrived and the evening after we left. And I was kind of wondering if Mr. Trudeau had anything to do with it. Maybe he wants us here more often!

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    1. I think your human might be right. APPARENTLY, he has no control over the snow at all. MOUSES!

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  9. If you called me, I would be honored and I wouldn't hang up either. Good luck getting the snow to stop, to do that, you need to talk to God and his number is not as easy to get as the prime minister.

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    1. Hmmm... You think I could tweet to the Pope? purrs

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    2. Nicely, of course. My tweets are always nice. purrs

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  10. Bear likes to escape outside ... and he runs before he looks. He's run right into pouring rain before and then he gives ME a dirty look like the rain was just some way to thwart his diabolical plan :p

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  11. As usual politicians are completely useless even for kitties !

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    1. Seriously. If he wants to make amends, he's gonna have to talk to me 'bout nip. MOUSES!

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  12. There oughta be a law against snow...except for on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. But then--BAM! It's spring.Your PM needs to make this happen or come next election... He's outta there! Just saying...

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    1. Yup, we might need to make this an election issue, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. Oh my, if Mr Trudeau can't sort it then there is only on peep for the job... Not sure if Santa works this time of year though? purrs Erin

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    1. I think he's on vacation now. Hmmm.. Let me check my radioactive reindeer dust meter. See if there are any local readings... purrs

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  14. Well I, for one, would be completed honored if you called me. Although I wouldn't be able to help out with that snow problem.

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    1. And I think that was the worst part, for sure. I mean.. If I, Seville the Cat, should happen to call the Prime Minister's Office, should the Prime Minister's Office not be honoured? MOUSES!

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  15. Ummmmm...last I heard Seville, it was Mom Nature who has her fingers on that there weather button. You'd best get her mobile number

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    1. Hmmm.. You think that's a long distance number? purrs

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