I have some good news, and I have some bad news. Which do you wanna hear first?
Okay, so the good news is, we cats have not been cut off from the livin' room.
The bad news is, we cats have not been cut off from the livin' room... YET.
But I can see it comin'.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', what has Rushton done this time?
Well sit back and I'll tell you.
So the other day, even though Rushton had taken over the livin' room chesterfield, declarin' the whole thing was his, and only his, he wanted to visit his ol' stompin' ground. His ol' stompin' ground underneath the livin' room chair. The big one. The big chair that matches the chesterfield.
Now this came as a surprise to me 'cause when Rushy said he was gonna go under the chair, my first thought was, "You still fit under there? MOUSES!"
But with a flip of his tail, Rushton managed to squeeze himself underneath.
It was a tight squeeze, my friends, but he did manage. He even managed to get himself out afterwards. Wonders never cease.
Anyway... From under the chair I heard Rushton cry, "What happened to my hammock?"
Of course, I had no idea Rushy even had a hammock under there, under that chair, so I poked my head underneath it to see.
"That wasn't a hammock," I explained. "It was a dust thing-a-ma-gig."
"You mean like a dust bunny?" Rushton asked.
"Nah, it was a mesh cloth designed to prevent dust bunnies from gettin' into the bowels of the chair. Come to think of it, Rushton, I think it was supposed to prevent YOU from gettin' in there, too. MOUSES!"
Well that was when Rushy squeezed himself out from underneath that ol' chair. You know, like I previously mentioned he did. Then he started stomping around the living room, huffing and puffing and fuming, like only a Rushy can do. MOUSES!
"No need gettin' your tail all knotted up in a tizzy," I told him. "Peep #1 disposed of that dust thing-a-ma-g..."
Rushton glared at me.
"I mean, she disposed of your hammock weeks ago," I continued. "I saw her doin' it. Yup, I saw her with the scissors, hackin' away at it. Then she tossed it in the trash."
"In the trash?" The beginnings of smokey plumes started to drift out of Rushton's ears.
"Rushton, if you're thinkin' of complainin' to the peep, I suggest you start thinkin' of doin' somethin' else. Peep #1 wasn't too thrilled to have to remove that ol' dust thing-a-ma-gig from underneath that ol' chair."
Then even more smoke came pourin' out my brother's ears.
"Yup, yup... That's the look she had. Great impression of the peep, by the way. MOUSES!"
Rushton sat back on his haunches. The smoke began to subside. "But I finally had my hammock just the way I liked it," he sulked.
"Yeah, well, the peep wasn't too thrilled when she saw it hangin' down like it was. Said somethin' about how it was supposed to be stapled up around the base of the chair and kept out of sight."
Rushton sniffed. "But I had to tear one side open. I tore it open with my claws. I had to do it in order to get inside."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh..." I murmured, like a psychiatrist listenin' to a patient. "And tell me, how did ripping open the dust thing-a-ma-gig make you feel?"
"Ummm... I don't know. Like a cat with a hammock, I guess. It was an awfully comfortable hammock, Seville. I even managed to drag a toy or two in there with me."
"Yes, Peep #1 found toys. I saw her hauling 'em out, one by one. MOUSES!"
Rushton sighed. LOUDLY. "I'm going to miss my mancat-cave, inside that big living room chair. Without the hammock, it's nothing more than a stupid old empty space. An empty space inside of a chair."
"You know, you could try curling up on top of the chair," I suggested to my brother.
"But then everyone would see me!" and Rushton shook his head in disbelief.
"You weren't too concerned with everyone seein' you when you were takin' over the chesterfield." I rolled my eyes. "Not to mention pushin' everyone else off it," I added.
"That's different," Rushton declared. "That was over there. And this is here. And..."
"And uh... Well it just is. I can't believe the peep threw my hammock in the trash, ruining my secret hiding place and..."
"AND RUINED ALL MY FUN!" Rushton cried.
"I see." I narrowed my eyes. "You know, Peep #1 was pretty annoyed when she discovered the dust thing-a-ma-gig all torn up like you tore it. She wasn't happy at all. She even said somethin' about..."
"About what?" Rushton interrupted. "Did she happen to mention if the chesterfield has a potential hammock, too? Because if it does, that would make the most wonderful of hammocks ever. The most wonderful of hammocks in the whole wide world! Even bigger than the one inside the chair and..."
"RUSHTON, NO!!!!" I cried as Rushy dashed toward the livin' room chesterfield.
And this, my friends, is why I say, "We cats have not been cut off from the livin' room... YET."
Yet. YET. MOUSES!