Wednesday, 14 December 2016

under the mistletoe

Oof!  Oaf!  Lemme go, woman!  MOUSES!

I said, LEMME GO!!!

MOUSES!

You hard of hearin' these days, Peepers?  You been listenin' to too many Christmas carols and the like?  You blown an eardrum or somethin' like that?

OH MY MOUSES!  Were you listenin' to yourself?  Were you caterwaulin', and you heard yourself caterwalin', and your ears went on strike?

Nah, that couldn't be it.  If ears could go on strike on account of hearin' you caterwaul, MY ears would have gone strike long ago.

LEMME GO!!!

Fine.  Just do it.  Just do it and get it over with.  Let me close my eyes.  Let me hold my breath. Let's just get this over with and be done with it.

EWWW.....

MOUSES!!!

Excuse me Peepers, I have to go have a bath.  I need to wash off all those peep germs you left behind when you kissed me.  MOUSES!

And if I haven't told you this before - although I'm pretty sure that I have - let me tell you it now. KISSES ON THE TOP OF THE HEAD ARE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO WASH OFF.  It's not like I can reach up there with my tongue.  MOUSES!

For cryin' out loud.  Peeps and their moused-up balls of mistletoe hangin' all over the place. MOUSES!

Any of you cats out there havin' issues with peeps thinkin' that just because a ball of mistletoe is hangin' from the ceilin', they get to scoop you up in their arms, and kiss you?  Any of you cats havin' trouble with that?  Anybody?

Well at my house, there's a mistletoe kissin' epidemic goin' on, and let me tell you, it's as gross as all get out.  MOUSES!

And you can't even build up any immunity!

At least with stuff like uh...  um...  chicken pox, peeps don't get 'em twice. But mistletoe kisses? You can get 'em more than once in the same day!

Sometimes more than once in the same hour!

MOUSES!

Just this mornin', Peep #1 was scoopin' me up and kissin' me, sayin' the Mistletoe Clause of 2014 allowed her to do so.  And no sooner was I done washin' off all her peep germs from the first incident, why, she was kissin' me again.  MOUSES!

It's stuff like this that gets a kitty in trouble with Santa Claus.  I mean, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE CRIED MOUSES TODAY?

DO HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE CRIED MOUSES IN THE LAST HOUR?

MOUSES!

And what's with the idea of kissin' kitties under balls of poisonous berries, anyway?  Who came up with a stupid idea like that in the first place?

Humph!  Probably some stupid peep.  MOUSES!

You've heard of the kiss of death, have you?  Sounds more like the kissin' ball of death, to me. MOUSES!

Now if Peep #1 wanted to hang up bunches of catnip and kiss me under those...

Now THAT'S an idea I could get behind, for sure.

Or underneath.

Whatever.

Bottom line is, stupid ol' balls of mistletoe hangin' from the ceilin' do not - I repeat, do NOT - entitle peeps to take liberties with us cats.

And please...  PLEASE... For mousin' sake...  If you're gonna go around kissin' us, don't do it on the tops of our heads! Peep germs left on the tops of our heads are way to difficult to wash off by ourselves.

MOUSES!



36 comments:

  1. MOL, ya should get extra nip for dat!

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  2. Amarula agrees!! Peep germs are the worst- when she feels real dirty she will place a speck of wet food on top of her head and then Frodo licks it off! So he gets a treat and she gets cleaned!

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    Replies
    1. What a great idea! Just might try that myself, sometime. purrs

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  3. You had us in FITS Seville. Trut us Mum gives us ALL lots of kisses ALL the time she doesn't NEED mistletoe!!!!

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    1. There are always to many kisses goin' around in this here house but at Christmas time? MOUSES!

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  4. Wow, we get that kind of treatment year round. No mistletoe required. MOUSES! Our mom loves kissing the tops of our heads. Some of us tolerate it, others not so much. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Angel Fiona, Lisbeth, Astrid and Calista Jo

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    1. What is it with peeps and the tops of our heads? That's THE MOST DIFFICULT place for us to wash. MOUSES!

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  5. Hey, we don't have any mistletoe here, oh, but that's fine! Tis the season Seville!

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    Replies
    1. Lucky you. Ours was brought in just for kissin'. MOUSES!

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  6. Oooo, catnip mistletoe - what an idea! My cats would love that for sure.

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    Replies
    1. Once I get my nip farm up and runnin', catnip mistletoe balls might be on the menu. I mean, in the catalogue. Whatever. PURRS.

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  7. The humans have had the same sprig of fake mistletoe in a bag for years and have never taken it out. Doesn't matter - we all still get kissed! Except for Boodie. Somehow she gets out of it.

    Actually I don't mind being kissed, being a therapy cat and all.

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    Replies
    1. How does she manage that? Inquirin' minds REALLY wanna know. PURRS.

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  8. Hehe... Nip balls hanging from the ceiling sounds like a recipe for peeps have cats land on their heads, and in a multi-cat household the air traffic would be horrendous! purrs Erin

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    Replies
    1. They'd have to bring in extra peeps for air traffic control! purrs

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  9. Aw, we miss you guys. Just no time to blog hop much anymore

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    Replies
    1. When they say time flies, they REALLY mean, it kinda flies away. MOUSES!

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  10. I guess it COULD be worse ... Andy could come up and try to give you a hug ...

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  11. guyz......we heer ya....sum times we get kissed on de top oh de head N itz knot EVEN Christmas ~~~~~ we sended this yur way { emails } but it came bak sew we will post heer if we may:

    a trout filled Christmas
    a mackerull new yeer two
    health N happee nezz in de brand new yeer
    frum all oh uz two ewe

    with hugs N loves
    boomer, dai$y, tuna
    & dude & sauce two

    ♥♥♥♥♥

    heerz two a merry Christmas anda happee one
    anda blessed one.....see ya ina few ☺☺☺☺♥♥♥♥♥

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  12. Think yourself lucky it only happens when she's got the mistletoe! I have to put up with it every day.

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    1. Oh, it happens all year 'round but at Christmas time? Let's just say, we'll be recoverin' from all those kisses 'til spring. MOUSES!

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  13. Sorry, I am guilty of this too, but I have a fake mistletoe to be safe. Maybe if we hung nip, you would find it easier to tolerate?

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    Replies
    1. I'm thinkin' catnip balls might go over super well. purrs

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  14. MOL ! We get kissed all year long ! Purrs

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    Replies
    1. Us too. And cuddled! But this past month there has been way too much. MOUSES!

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  15. Aaaaaaaaaaaw We don['t have any mistletoe, but who needs it. Mommy spends lots of time kissin' on us. We luv it tho'. We just can't get enuff of it. Big hugs to all of ya'

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    Replies
    1. You don't have any issues with the peep germs? MOUSES!

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  16. Oh, oh we thinks you may have given our mom bean an idea. Good thing the stores are closed for the night and she's got a short memory!

    You might have to hide for a few days Seville!

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  17. Hanging nip sounds like a much better idea!
    I'd kiss someone who did that...

    Noodle and crew

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    Replies
    1. For balls of nip, I could tolerate the kissin' more. Yup, gotta get those nip balls in the works. MOUSES!

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  18. You nailed the problem Seville. When Mom or Dad kiss either of us on our butts...no problem...but on top of our head??!!! AIIIEE!!! Impossible to get rid of with only one kitty spit bath

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, butt germs would be EASY to wash off. But do they ever do that? Do they ever think of that? No. Never. MOUSES!

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