Sunday, 18 December 2016

O Christmas Tree

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
You do so taunt me, terribly.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
You do so taunt me, terribly.

Oh hello there my friends. Can we talk?

I mean, may we talk?  I know I can talk.  I assume you can talk.  So uh...  um...  May we? Talk?  MOUSES!


Let's talk Christmas trees.

MOUSES!

You know, peeps think they're so smart.  I mean, they think they're the smartest things since sliced bread which, by the way, isn't sayin' a whole lot.  You know, on account of sliced bread not bein' all that smart.

What's that, Peepers?  WHAT?  Oh.

Apparently the sayin' is, the best thing since sliced bread.  Not the smartest.  Well as far as I'm concerned, thinkin' you're the best thing since sliced bread is kinda stupid, too, 'cause...  you know...  cats don't eat bread and therefore the existence of sliced bread is irrelevant.  MOUSES!

But about these Christmas trees.

Every year 'bout this time, the peeps plant a tree in the middle my livin' room.  Now if you ask me, this is just askin' for trouble but peeps, bein' peeps, don't see it.  MOUSES!

Now as a cat, I can assure you that trees are good for two things, and two things only.  Those two things would be climbin' and scratchin'.  Okay, maybe three things.  We might want to add sprayin' to that list, too.  MOUSES!

But when a cat happens upon a tree growin' in the middle of his livin' room, and said cat does what any cat is likely do when happenin' upon a tree growin' in the middle of his livin' room, do peeps ever blame the tree?

Better yet, do they blame themselves for plantin' a tree in the middle of the livin' room in the first place?

I mean, who the mouses grows trees in their livin' room, anyway?

And in case you hadn't yet figured it out, the answer to the above questions would be, NO.

Except, of course, for the question about who grows trees in their livin' room in the first place, 'cause for that question, there is no answer at all.  At least, not a reasonable one. MOUSES!

But back to those trees.

Peeps - BEIN' PEEPS - aren't satisfied by simply plantin' a climbin' tree in the middle of the livin' room.  OH NO, peeps - BEIN' PEEPS - have to throw a little more enticement into the mix.

Now I'm tellin' you right here and right now, a tree growin' in the middle of a kitty's livin' room is pretty enticin'.  Enticin' enough to make a kitty wanna climb that tree, for sure.  But even as enticin' as that tree is, there is one thing that will make the climbin' of such a tree even more enticin'.

And that one thing would be...

It would be a tree growin' in the middle of a livin' room, covered in lit-up strings and rollable glass balls.

Although to be perfectly honest, those glass balls don't roll very well once they're broken. MOUSES!

And don't even get me started on the bells that jingle.  MOUSES!

But back to the trees!

Well, the tree.  The one tree in question.  The tree that is currently growin' in the middle of my livin' room.  The peeps planted it Friday night.

Then, of course, it had to be replanted after a failed climbin' expedition undertaken by one very handsome marmalade dude.

You know, it turns out that these newly planted trees aren't up to much when it comes to climbin'. I mean, I know I've been enjoyin' a few extra treats durin' the holiday season and stuff, but I haven't been enjoying 'em that much.  It's not like I'm one of those long-haired marmie brothers of mine, who are apparently in a race to see which one of 'em can reach the twenty pound mark, first. MOUSES!

All I have to say is this. It's darned lucky for the peep that my climbin' expedition happened before the installation of the breakable rollables which means, of course, that not only do those glass balls still have the potential to roll, but they still have the potential to be broken, too.  MOUSES!

29 comments:

  1. LOL Seville, you already climbed the tree and crashed it. I have mine screwed down, now mind you mine is small , only 4 ft high, I was mean to my cats, didn't get them a real tree. Makes no difference, found PurrL laying in the branches just yesterday morning. She seemed to find it very comfortable. Enjoy your Christmas , Merry Christmas to you, your fur family and your Peeps too!!!!!!

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    1. Ours is fake, too, but that didn't stop me! And to be honest, I was only tryin' to help. Peep looked like she needed the help, for sure. purrs

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  2. Oh my goodness, a tree expedition sure seems to get the peeps all wound up, even if the tree isn't real!

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    1. It's true! Peeps get all wound up over the silliest little things. MOUSES!

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  3. I think it was very sweet of you to go on a climbing expedition BEFORE the humans put on those rolling breakables! You are such a kind thoughtful cat!!

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    1. I think so too! You mind mentionin' that to the peeps? purrs

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  4. I think the whole tree thing is confusing too! Why not just get another cat tree? That way you can climb it without all heck breaking loose!

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    1. Another cat tree would be great! But my peeps are so stupid, they'd probably try to decorate it, too. MOUSES!

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  5. You really climbed the tree? I am lucky that my cats don't do that, maybe because ours is a fake tree so it doesn't smell the same. I put all unbreakables on the tree and at the bottom are crocheted ornaments with catnip for their pleasure yet no one even bothers with those. My cats are kind of lazy :)

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    1. Can one say they climbed the tree if one got only 'bout half-way up? You know, before one knocked it all over. purrs

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  6. No tree here, and those we had have all lost their leaves so no point bring them indoors until spring! What this enquiring Princess really really needs to know is, were there any mice or sparrows? I mean what good is a tree without those? Rolling mice would be good, and if the sparkled and glowed even better for finding in the dark, too.
    purrs Erin

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    1. Ours is a fake one. Every year, Peep #1 plants it in the livin' room. One minute there's nothin' there, and the next, there's a tree! And then the next minute, we're pickin' fake tree up off the livin' room floor. MOUSES!

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  7. MOUSES! Lol
    Gonna have to slip that into a conversation randomly :)

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  8. MeOWwww Seville, we didn't get any of those rollin' glass balls. Mommy stopped at da lights when Raena took her furst bite on our tree. Enjoy. Big hugs.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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  9. Oh the memories! I remember climbing to the top of our tree every Christmas when I was young. My mum used to have 2 robins perched on branches on it. One year when she took the tree down she found....a nekkid robin! She found his feathery overcoat amongst the branches. She only has one robin in the tree now.

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  10. It's nice of you to have climbed the tree before it was decorated, Seville. Purrs

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    1. That's what I thought, too. Just the kind of guy I am, I guess. purrs

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  11. We think you must have a real tree in your house Seville. We don't - we have a plastic thing planted in our living room. AND to make things worse the mom bean has bought* unbreakable rolling balls. They still roll though so that's a good thing!

    Have fun climbing!
    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

    *purchased over the years as the breakable ones stopped rolling.

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    1. Nope, it's a fake one! Peep #1 plants it every year. The fake ones are hard to climb but if you put your tail into it, they fall down just fine. purrs

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  12. A failed climbing expedition? Oh no! What would a successful one look like? I thought I saw Olive trying to climb our tree the other day, too.

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    1. Well it was a failed expedition on account of my not makin' it to the top of the tree. Darned thing fell over before I could make it that high. MOUSES!

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    2. Peep says I might have taken a runnin' leap.

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  13. hmmmm...sounds like you may have been playin' in real time that "ornament breaking" game Mom plays on the advent card Miss Marjorie gave Mom. Mom plays that game for an hour at a time!!

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    1. Yeah! That's EXACTLY what I was doin'. MOUSES!

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