Wednesday, 3 August 2016

I have a confession to make

I, Seville the Cat, have a confession to make.

Hello, my name is Seville, and I have never met a zebra.

Can you believe it?  It's true.  Never in my whole nine lives have I ever met a zebra. Of course, I've never met an elephant or an ostrich or a rhinoceros, either, but today, I'm just talkin' about the zebras. MOUSES!

BUT I HAVE A PLAN.

It has come to my attention that in some countries, like the United Kingdom, those pedestrian crossing thingies that we in Canada call pedestrian crossing thingies or crosswalks, are called zebra crossings.

Now some might say those pedestrian crossing thingies are called zebra crossings on account of their black and white striping.  You know, making 'em look like zebras and all.

In fact, Peep #1 said something to that effect just this morning but you know me; I ignored her.  I thought that was the polite thing to do, rather than tell her that what she was sayin' made absolutely no sense at all.  I mean, why did the peeps who made 'em, make 'em look like zebras in the first place?  WHY?  Why not make 'em with spots like leopards or make 'em gold and black for tigers? Obviously, those peeps were lookin' to attract themselves some zebras.  MOUSES!

I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', if those zebra crossings were meant to be a place for zebras to safely cross the road, they'd use one of those yellow diamond-shaped signs like the ones for cattle crossings, golf cart crossings, deer crossings, and the like.

And actually, what you're thinkin' does kinda make sense.

But there's a problem.

Problem is, zebras can't read.  MOUSES!

Now I'm not sayin' that cows and stuff can read but...

But even if I'm not sayin' it, it doesn't mean it's not true.  MOUSES!

And I know, those signs would have a picture with a zebra on it and everything, but let's face, unless the actual word zebra is included along with the picture, you're more likely to attract yourself some horses.

Clearly, what the inventors of these zebra crossings were doing when painting 'em black and white, was making a sign for the zebras that the zebras would not have to be read.

And since I've never seen a black and white striped horse, the horses don't have to read 'em, either. MOUSES!

You build it, they will come.

You paint it, they will come.

MOUSES!

Well the peep, bein' a peep, thinks she has an answer for everythin', and her answer for this was that she has been stopped at many a pedestrian crossing thingy in her time and never, EVER, has she ever noticed any zebras.

Well I had an answer for her!

Clearly, she's one very unobservant peep.

Most people would notice a zebra crossing the road, I should think.  MOUSES!

Makes you wonder how the peep got her drivers' licence in the first place.  MOUSES!

But back to my plan.  Remember?  I have a plan.

I'm thinkin' that if I paint some white stripes on the road just in front of my house, I'll have a zebra crossing all of my very own.  Then all I need do is sit back with a niptini in each paw, and wait for the zebras to arrive.

I'm just hopin' that some zebras out there will find my zebra crossing.  After all, with all those zebra crossings they have in places like the United Kingdom, those Brits have a huge head start on us, regarding attracting the zebra population.  Got my paws crossed that at least one or two zebras will come my way.  I'm countin' on it, for sure.

And then, after I've met up with a zebra, I'll figure out some way to meet me some elephants.  I hear they're attracted to living rooms.  Well we already have a living room.  Perhaps I can attract an elephant to it if I fill up a candy dish with some peanuts.  MOUSES!

49 comments:

  1. Hmmmm, I don't have Bear crossing signs but I have Bears here. I think I shall dream up some zebras for you and send them your way. After all I don't really need Zebras and Bears now do I. Have a great day and NO DIGGING UP THOSE PRETTY FLOWERS Seville!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, if you happen to see a zebra or two, please direct them my way. So far my crossing isn't workin'. MOUSES!

      Delete
  2. If you find a way to meet a zebra and other cool animals, let us know!

    ReplyDelete
  3. dood !!! if ewe can get zebra & elephants ta visit yur houz try all sew for lionz & tigerz ... & noe we iz KNOT goin with bearz oh my.... coz thoze bass terdz steel R salmon everee chance they get......why knot invite ALL de big cats....how kewl wood that be tho yur street iz gonna end up lookin kinda well....like knot a street with all that paint !! ♥♥♥☺☺☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bears steel the salmon? MOUSES! I NEVER KNEW!!! purrs

      Delete
  4. You need to be careful Seville, I don't think you want to cross a zebra, it might get even!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bear has experience making signs if you need help :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right! BC is a PRO at the sign-makin', for sure! purrs

      Delete
  6. We've never seen a zebra either, Seville. So let us know if figure out a way to see one. We may try that too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still no sign of 'em. You think Canadian zebras can't read the signs? purrs

      Delete
  7. I've never heard of zebra crossings, but I like the sound of that! Well, here's to hoping that you get to meet a zebra... and then an elephant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still waitin'. And hopin'. Got my paws crossed, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. Ooh, we sure hope this works, Sivvers! Zebras and elephants? After that, maybe some tigers and lions and panfurs! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, that sounds like fun Seville. You'll have the neighbours talking for sure and won't they be surprised to see the zebras!

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will! When those zebras finally show up, ALL the neighbours will be talkin', for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  10. What a great plan, Seville! I can't wait to find out what the zebras have to say for themselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd like to hear what they have to say 'bout bein' so late! Still not a trace. MOUSES!

      Delete
  11. Oooh, I like the idea of painting your own stripes... I wonder if I you'd also get Pandas and Magpies and other such black and white animals? PS Have you thought about doing a Marmie striped crossing? purrs ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One tabby marmie at this house is enough, I should think. I already have to deal with those two long-haired marmies. On a daily basis! MOUSES!

      Delete
  12. Another deep and very meaningful reflection, Seville! You must get tired with all that thinking, pal!

    Purrs,
    The Chans

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do think a lot. Of course, I nap a lot, too. MOUSES!

      Delete
  13. You know, now I come to think about it I can't say I remember ever having seen a zebra, and we have those zebra crossings everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  14. We've never seen a zebra crossing the road either, you know. Purrs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm beginnin' to wonder 'bout these zebras and their ability to read the signs for crossin', for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  15. Hm.... we've never met zebras OR elephants!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neither one? I'll be sure to call you when either bother to show up. Still waitin'. MOUSES!

      Delete
  16. Good luck with meeting the zebra. Maybe you will meet a unicorn too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooohhh.... What kinda crossin' do I need to paint to attract the unicorns? purrs

      Delete
  17. Seville, sounds like you do, indeed, have a plan -- good luck with that!! I have seen zebras and elephants, albeit, in a zoo -- never out wandering the roads and street crossings -- (probably a good thing -- LOL). . . cute post!! kitty kisses, {{{hugs}}} and head bonkies from all of us her at the Ricciardi home!! ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How 'bout lounging in a backyard? You ever see any there? purrs

      Delete
  18. WEll....................it sounds logical to us. Good luck with your plan, we have never seen a zebra either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds perfectly logical to me, too, but so far, not a trace. MOUSES!

      Delete
  19. We have a zebra patterned rug, does that count? MOL MOL MOL

    Purrs

    Basil & Co xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it does! Any zebra sightings yet? purrs

      Delete
  20. We think zebras are cool!
    The human has seen a lot of them when in Africa, me...not so much.
    have a super weekend...

    Noodle and crew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... By not so much, do you mean you've seen only a few? purrs

      Delete
  21. *checks under floor rugs*...*checks under couch*...*checks under TKS' butt*...Nope, no Zebras here buddy. You sure you aren't takin' a hit of that 'nip gin?? I told you to leave it behind!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You checked under Sage's butt? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  22. Zebra schmeebra...nothing is as amazing as watching a cat doing zoomies, right Sivvers?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well the zoomies ARE the best. Yup, they really are. For sure! purrs

      Delete
  23. Uh, Seville, be careful with the peanuts. They invite squirrels and maybe your peeps would like the elephant better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've already been inundated with squirrels. They hang out by the old oak tree at the end of the drive, peltin' helpless cats and peeps as we pass. MOUSES!

      Delete
  24. Hmmmmm that is sounding like some good ideas Seville! Maybe we can try them....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please let me know if any zebras show up at your house. So far, I've had no luck attracting 'em. MOUSES!

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...