Wednesday, 27 July 2016

the cuddle monster

So like I was sayin', Andy, it's like this.  The cuter you are, the more you get picked up and cuddled.  That's why you don't get picked up and cuddled as much as I...

FINE.  You get picked up too.  Yeah, yeah... Cuddled as well.  And kissed.

Wait a minute.  Wait a cotton pickin' moused up minute.  Were you complainin' that you do or do not get picked up enough?

Oh yeah.  Okay.  Well, the problem is, you're too cute for your own good.  If you were less cute, Peep #1 wouldn't pick you up nearly as much.  And there wouldn't be so much cuddlin' goin' on, either.

And by the way, you still don't get picked up and cuddled as much as I do.  If ever there were a cat to have a right to be complainin' about too much cuddling and stuff, it would be me.  I mean, just the other day...

Yeah, yeah...  Toby gets picked up a lot too.

Toby has two problems goin' on there.  First of all, she's small, like a kitten, even though she's all grown up.  That makes her super cute.  And secondly, she's small, like a kitten, and that makes her really light.  Turns out, the lighter you are, the easier it is for a peep to pick you up.  MOUSES!

So THAT'S why you're always asking for extra treats.  You want to be too heavy for the peeps to pick you up, huh?

Well Andy, that's just not gonna work.

Well I'LL TELL you why.  I was just gettin' to that.  First of all, Andy, you're already the heaviest of all of us cats and Peep #1 is still pickin' you up.  So if you've been aimin' to be too heavy for cuddles, you've failed on that account, for sure.  And secondly, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but the peep picks up those big, heavy bags of manure for the garden and...

NO, I'm not callin' you a big bag of poopies.  MOUSES!

Although if the paw fits...  Uh... What's that?  Ummm....  Never mind.

Andy, I'm tryin' to explain that if Peep #1 can lug around a big ol' bag of manure for the garden, which is pretty darned heavy, she's probably gonna be able to pick you up, too.  I don't think that even you could pack in enough treats to make yourself heavier than a big ol' bag of garden manure.

Although LORD KNOWS you do try.  MOUSES!

Andy, if you're really annoyed by all the cuddling, you should do what Tess does.  You know, how she growls all the time?  Growls at this and that, and that and this, and just about everythin' in between.

Oh yeah, you're right.  Even with all that growling, Peep #1 still picks Tess up and gives her kisses and everythin'.

BUT NEVER FOR LONG!  MOUSES!

Andy, do you even know how to growl?  Not sure if I've ever heard you growl.  I've seen you smacky paw a cat.  Goodness knows, I've been on the receiving end of those giant-sized, part Coon smacky paws of yours, but now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever actually heard you growl.   If you're in need of some growlin' lessons, I hear Tess gives classes in 'em.  Cheap.  MOUSES!

No, that's not how Mason avoids bein' picked up.  Mason never growls either.  But she squirms! She's a squirmy wormy, for sure.  I've heard Peep #1 call her that many a time and once, the doctor even called her a squirmy wormy without knowin' the peep was already doin' that, so obviously, Mason is a true squirmy wormy, for sure.  She can't avoid actually bein' picked up, but is usually able to squirm her way out of the peep's grasp without too many kisses.

Rushton?  Hmmm...  Let me think on that for a bit.

Actually, I don't think Rushy avoids bein' picked up.  Or bein' kissed!  To tell you the truth, I think he kinda likes it.

I know!  MOUSES!

And did you see?  Last night, Peep #1 even picked up - and kissed - Dionysia.  The peep doesn't even know if Dionysia is a girl or a boy yet, and she's already takin' advantage of any opportunity she can, to get close enough to her (or him) and give him (or her) cuddles and kisses and...

You noticed that too, huh?  Yup, Dionysia wasn't all that thrilled with the cuddles.  She's more of a you-may-pet-me-on-the-top-of-my-head-prior-to-feeding-me-out-here-on-the-veranda-but-no-more kinda cat, for sure.

Wait 'til Dionysia finds out 'bout the peep finding us cats so irresistible for cuddling.  Wait 'til she finds out the peep is a cuddle monster.  Wait 'til finds out that if ever there were an award from bein' a cuddle monster, Peep #1 would win said award, for sure.  MOUSES!

What do I do?  What do I, Seville the Cat, do to avoid bein' picked up, cuddled and kissed?

Well...

Well for starters, I shed a lot.  A peep can't pick me up without my leavin' my mark on 'em, so to speak.  And dependin' upon what the peeps are wearin', this sheddin' of mine does avoid a lot of cuddlin'.  You may have noticed that neither of the peeps ever pick me up when they're on their way out the door.

Yeah, you're right.  It IS a totally different story when they return.

Fact is, Andy, I get picked up and cuddled and kissed an awful lot.  Way too much for my liking, to be sure.  It's the price one pays for bein' so gosh darned handsome and cute and cuddly and irresistible, I suppose.

But what can I do?  It's not like I can stop bein' handsome.  Not like I can stop bein' cute.  Not like I can stop bein' cuddly.  Not like I can stop bein' kissable.  Not like I can...

What's that, Andy?  Not like I can stop bein' WHAT?

ANDY!  MOUSES!

And that, my brother, is why you are not picked up and cuddled as much as I.  MOUSES!

46 comments:

  1. Hmmm. So I'm being doubly screwed! First, I hardly ever get treats and because I never get treats I'm not too big to pick up! RATS!

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    1. Oh yeah... Doubly screwed, for sure. MOUSES!

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  2. I'm not too much into cuddles but I do like the snuggles!

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    1. How 'bout when they kiss you? Peep #1 is ALWAYS TRYIN' to kiss us on the tops of our heads. Ewww.... MOUSES!

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  3. LOLOLOLOL!!!! Seville, you might as well get used to it. We hoomins, er, peeps, love kissing and cuddling our kitties!! Mine aren't crazy about it either, but I tell them that it's too bad, cause I'm gonna continue kissing and cuddling!! -- and my son does too. . . But it's all you kitties faults for being so darned cute and cuddly and stuff. . . love you bunches!! ♥♥♥

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    1. You think there's any way to make ourselves less cute? If we were less cute, would they cuddle us less? What am I sayin'! Cuteness comes naturally to us. No such thing as a cat who's not cute. MOUSES!

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    2. indeed Seville. . . kitties will ALWAYS be cute and cuddly and stuffs. . . I love all of you sooooo much!!! ♥♥♥

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    3. Yup, it's the curse of the cuties, for sure. MOUSES!

      LOVE YOU TOO!!! purrs

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  4. I generally don't mind cuddles. Considering that I am a therapy cat, that is a good thing!

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    1. Hmmm... You probably have a point there. Was it hard for you to learn to not mind all those cuddles? purrs

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  5. It sounds like you are just all to cute so you need to suffer with the cuddles :)

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    1. I know. I KNOW!!! And we ARE SUFFERIN', for sure. MOUSES!

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  6. Hehe I laid the law down straight away when I got here, and the whole picking up thing in this Palace revolves solely round Niptinis and cream... they're the best sort of Pick Me Ups! purrs ERin PS I do all the cuddling with my dinner guests!

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    1. I could go for a pick me up of niptinis and cream right about now, for sure. MOUSES!

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  7. MOL, it are da curse of da cute.

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  8. Mes thinks that mes totally underestimated the cuddling thing until lately. Now that mes has discovered how WONDERFUL cuddling is mes does NOT leaves marks on Mommy and wes both gets more!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  9. guys.....we iz knot picker upz heer....never haz been reel lee... N once....itz knot funnee... but it IZ.....de food servizz gurls sisturr picked up gram paw dude & wanted ta hug him & him bit her on de face.....oh kay...knot like a feerce tiger ore sum thin & noe bloodz waz pourin frum a open woond but her hollered like a wee babee....yea, itz still funnee all theeze yeerz later ....sorree we iz ramblin now ~~~~~ ♥♥♥♥

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    1. Oh my mouses! You know somethin'? That IS funny, for sure! purrs

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  10. Oops. Andy should have stopped while he was still in your good graces. Yep, you sure are cute and cuddly.

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  11. You both are so cute ! Cuddles are unavoidable ;) Purrs

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    1. I'm beginnin' to fear you might be right. MOUSES!

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  12. We don't do a lot of cuddling here. We do like attention though. Some of us just won't allow that picking up stuff. We always enjoy reading your blog.

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    1. Andy likes to walk right in front of the peeps, trippin' 'em up. THAT gets their attention, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. I agree with Lone Star Cats...it's da curse of being cute. At my house being picked up is frowned on. None of us like it. We choose to sit next to...or ON...our mom and dad. But being picked up...nope. Not a choice. It's not often that the entire Wonderpurr Gang agrees on something. But being picked up...we are in total agreement. It's better to be admired from afar. Have a Wonderpurr Day!

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    1. Around here, we also agree about our dislike of duck and trout and the fact that Peep #1 is USELESS when it comes to growin' the nip. *sighs*

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  14. I don't know about all the cuddle consternation since we are kind of wanting to cuddle. Not that Dad does not give us lots of loving and kisses and pets and fuss but... he can't pick us up and we miss that. Come to think of it maybe it is better to sit on a lap so we have full control of the time of attention. Yep now we get it
    Timmy and Family

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    1. Yeah, now if we WANT to come sit next to a peep, that's a totally different story. It's this swoopin' down and pickin' up and cuddlin' thing that gets our tails all in a dither. purrs

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  15. OMC Ya'll are annoyed by da luvvins? We luv gettin' picked up and luvved on. Dat's da bestest. Enjoy

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

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    1. Yup. We only want 'em when we want 'em and ONLY on our terms. You like the cuddles, huh? MOUSES!

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  16. I'm definitely in the cuddle camp!
    Have a super Saturday...

    Noodle and crew

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    1. You ever get cuddled AT camp? Inquirin' minds wanna know. purrs

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  17. Yeah, moms do a lot of cuddling for sure. Very hard to stop.

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    1. Very. You'd think they'd create an app for that. Or maybe a pill? Or a vaccine? Or a... MOUSES!

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  18. We only allows cuddles when we wants them. Usually about early o'clock in the morning, MOL

    Though lately Saku has turned into a bit of a lap cat. Gotta keep the mom bean guessing!

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. I have to admit, that is fun. I like to keep the peeps on their toes, too. purrs

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  19. The way We see it, Seville, is - it just comes with the territory. If you are gorgeous, like We (and you) are, you get picked up and cuddled. That's just the Way Things Are.
    And effurry kitty that has a Human is gorgeous to that Human. MOUSES! That goes without saying.

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  20. We are lucky here, we usually choose when we cuddle Mom and I love to be carried around on her shoulder. Those woofies love to be cuddled so she has hands full with them :)

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    1. You get carried around on your mum's shoulder? What's that like? purrs

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  21. *holds paw up* STOP RIGHT THERE!!! No picking up of this cat, nope, no, not. That's unless, of course, Mom L is quick and my claws need trimming

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    1. Oh my mouses! Peep #1 can get one claw clipped at a time. If that! Once, Andy wasn't payin' enough attention and she managed two. MOUSES!

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  22. We can only pick up one of our kitties. But after a while she goes boneless and tries to slide out of our arms.

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    1. I've never tried that! But I'M GONNA, for sure. MOUSES!

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