Sunday, 29 May 2016

no, not the nip!

No, no, no!  NO!!!  No, not the nip!  MOUSES!!!!!

You see all those there exclamation marks, my friends?  Those there exclamation marks indicate the level of franticness in my voice. Now I know I'm not one to shy away from an exclamation mark or two or maybe even three but...

But let me tell you, the other day, the exclamation marks were flying around here like a thousand crows heading for their nightly roost.  There were more exclamation marks than even I ever imagined I could use.  There were exclamation marks all over the place.

What's that, Peepers?  You say I'm exaggerating?  Nope, don't thing so, ol' peep of mine.  In fact, I'd say it was quite the opposite.  I'd say...

Well...

Hmmm...

Well let me explain what happened, at my house, the other day.  MOUSES!

So anyway, Peep #1 sometimes does a little fund-raising stuff for a local animal shelter and one of the things she does is help organize a plant sale every May.  The sale was yesterday.

Now part of helping with that sale involves the donating of plants.  She donated a whole bunch of primroses and some other stuff.  I was okay with all of that.  I mean, it's good to help other kitties, right?  So donating plants to a plant sale that's gonna help other kitties is a good thing but...

But let me remind you 'bout my fur-sibs.  Sometimes, some of those fur-sibs can be menaces, for sure.  MOUSES!

You all remember my sister Mason, don't you?

So there I was, minding my own business, when Mason sorta kinda suggested that Peep #1 was thinking about donating my nip plants to the sale.  That's right, my friends, my nip.  MOUSES!

Now when Mason sorta kinda suggested that this was what the peep was thinking of doing, I grew frantic, for sure.  I mean, my nip?  Giving away my nip?  Was the peep really gonna give away my precious plants of nip?  Did she suddenly hate me or something?  Surely not.  Surely...

NEVER MESS WITH MY NIP, MY FRIENDS.  NEVER!

I raced all over the house and the yard looking for pots of nip.  Looking for little nip plants all potted up, waiting to be put in the sale.  I was trying to figure out how I would drag said potted nip plants someplace safe.  Safe from the peep and the sale and anyone who might be thinking 'bout making those nip plants their own.

I was frantic, my friends.  Frantic!

Like I said, NEVER MESS WITH MY NIP.

I was meowing and yelling and crying and meowing and screaming, "WHERE IS MY NIP?"

I was spinning around like a cat chasing his tail...

Okay, maybe not like a cat chasing his tail.  Maybe for a while there I actually was chasing my tail but hey, I'm a cat!  Every cat likes to chase his tail now and then.  You know, to break up the tension in the room and...

But I digress.  Point is, as I was spinning around chasing my tail, I happened to notice Mason out of the corner of an eye and she was sitting there, laughing.  She was sitting there on her haunches laughing and laughing and laughing and that's when I realized....

She was laughing at me!  MOUSES!

That was also 'bout the time I remembered....

That there ol' peep of mine IS USELESS when it comes to the growing of the nip.

I didn't know if I should be upset or relieved.  I mean, should I be relieved with the knowledge that the peep wasn't gonna be giving away my nip plants on account of her ineptitude at growing the nip in the first place or should I be upset that I actually had no nip plants for her to give away.  You know, due to her ineptitude at growing 'em and all.

I was torn, I tell you.  I was torn!

Then I figured out exactly what I should be doing.  More important than being relieved that the peep wasn't giving away my non-existent nip plants and more important than being upset that my nip plants were actually non-existent, I should be...

I SHOULD BE ANGRY WITH MASON FOR FOOLIN' ME LIKE SHE DID.

I mean, what kind of sister does that?  Seriously.  What kind of sister sorta kinda suggests that a cat's peep might be planning to give away all of said cat's non-existent nip plants?  MOUSES!

What's that, Peepers? You say there are actually three nip plants growing in the cage?

Have you LOOKED at 'em lately, Peepers?

Let me tell you, a couple leaves and a straggly stem does not a nip plant make.  MOUSES!

Peepers, those nip plants you're growing are as sickly as sickly can be.  I mean, they're all half dead and the halves that aren't dead are sicker than sick.  The leaves are barely holding onto their stems and I swear that if a cat were to breath on 'em, they'd fall off those stems in a second.

Peepers, remember the Christmas tree that Charlie Brown bought?

That there Charlie Brown Christmas tree was in better shape than those nip plants you're growing. MOUSES!


So anyway, Mason and I are no longer speaking.

Well technically, I'm not speaking to Mason for sorta kinda suggesting what she suggested.  Mason is still laughing at me.

As for the peep and the nip plants? Well that, my friends, is a story we shall continue in another blog post on another day.

But in the meantime, I will mention that the peep bought another Valerian plant at the sale.  Roots smell like stinky feet and let me tell you, I kinda like it, for sure.  MOUSES!

38 comments:

  1. Oh Seville, my sisters do things to me all the time pal, it just happens. But the stinky feet plant sounds wonderful and you don't have to share with Mason.

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  2. Hmm, I'd say Mason has a lot to answer for. Think of those poor peeps that might have bought those nip plants only to discover your peep hadn't grown them, and in fact they didn't exist at all. Mouses!

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    1. I know! Selling non-existent product is a real no-no, for sure. MOUSES!

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  3. *Roll in it, pal. Roll in it good.*

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  4. That was NOT a nice practical joke! It's a good thing she did not try that on Binga - she'd be very sorry indeed!

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    1. What would Binga have done? Inquiring minds wanna know. And they wanna take notes, too! purrs

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  5. We wouldn't ever contemplate eating your nip Nerissa unless you weren't there of course!

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    1. First I've gotta get the peep to figure out how to grow the stuff for me. She's as useless as a door knob on a revolving door. MOUSES!

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  6. A Valerian plant Seville? Ya'll sure are lucky. Me would luv fur mommy to get me one. Anyways, glad all is well with da nip and dat lots of kitties will get help cuz of da plant sale.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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    1. Oh yeah, the roots smell divine! Even better than peeps' shoes. purrs

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  7. The good thing is valerian could be better than 'nip. Happy early Canada Day!

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    1. I'm an equal opportunity nipster - valerian rootster, for sure. purrs

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  8. It's hard to understand why the peep can't grow catnip but has such glorious primroses... it's the other way around here. The nip comes up like weeds and neighborhood outdoor kitties, strange kitties, are roaming around in our yard!
    Rufus the Red and I are watching through the window. Does that seem fair, Seville?
    xxoo
    Mickey Mouser

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    1. Oh for want of a yard full of nip.... PURRS.

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  9. What a rotten trick Mason played on you, Sivvers. We sure hope your peep figures out how to grow that nip better; seems like that might help solve the whole situation. MOUSES!

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    1. I think that might make life easier, too. Is there a book called Growing Nip for Dummies? That one might work for her. Maybe. I can only hope. MOUSES!

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  10. That is nice of the peep to donate plants to help other kitties. I wish I could give you some of our nip.We started with one plant a few years ago and now it is all over our garden.

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    1. You have nip growin' all over your garden? ALL OVER IT? I'm so jealous. purrs

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  11. Sisters can be a pain. Just ask Mau as he has seven. MOL! We finally have some nip plants again this year, which makes us super happy. Hope you get a kick out of that valerian. We've never had it but hear it is pretty good stuff. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. Seven sisters? MOUSES! I have my paws full with just three. purrs

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  12. Oh my dear Seville, peep #1 would never take all your nip. Fur sibs are just the worst. I have 7 of them needless to say I'm not speaking to any of them.

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    1. Not speaking to any of 'em, huh? Yup, I can TOTALLY see how that can happen. purrs

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  13. You know, even when they aren't all that PRETTY, nip plants still have some zip! As for valerian - never even saw what the plant looks like BUTTT, valerian for me anyway is a better ZIP!

    Love, Sammy

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    1. It looks like of pretty and flowery on top but it's the roots that smell like stinky feet. Bliss. purrs

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  14. OMC Seville, the angst, the stress and the trauma! I was feeling your pain - mew need a sign - don't touch the nip! Or mew could just visit us and I'll let mew have the mill-wheel nip station next to me 😹

    Purrs

    Basil xox

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    1. You have a nip station? There is such a thing? MOUSES!

      Peepers... PREPARE THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE. IMMEDIATELY!!!!

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  15. That was mean of Mason!!! I have even worse happening. I have three huge and I mean nearly full size bush huge nip plants. My mum says they are growing faster than Triffids and she is going to dig them up!!!!!!
    She says I am always complaining it was the wrong type that she planted and they don't interest me. That's not the point though. They are MY nip plants!!!
    What does interest me though is your peep bought you a valerian plant. That would interest me very much if only my mum would buy me one.

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    1. Nip plants that grow like Triffids? MOUSES!

      This Valerian is super sweet. Well not so much sweet as uh... sweaty. Sweaty as in feet. It's amazing, for sure. purrs

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  16. Well d'ya know, my staff grows lots of The Nip for me but he has always failed with valerian. Maybe everyone has a plant they cannot grow. Neighbours grew valerian ok a couple of years ago but they forgot to deadhead it and it's seeded everywhere, including my garden. Now staff, who can't grow valerian himself, spends a lot of time digging it up all over the place. Wierd. And you can never have too many exclamation marks!!!!

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    1. Do you get to enjoy the Valerian that your staff has been digging? The roots are the very best part!!! purrs

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  17. We'd love to grow some nip but there is no yard!
    Feel my pain...

    Noodle and crew

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    1. Oh Noodle. How 'bout growing it in a pot? purrs

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  18. We can't grow brassicas. We are great at Aubergines, Tomatoes, and silverbeet (chard) oh and onions but Cauliflower, Brocolli, Never@ The just get eaten by creepy crawlies UGH!

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  19. nope, nope and nope again...we do not 'do' stinky feet in our house. Stinky gym clothes from Dad P, totally, but not that other thingy

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    1. So no valerian root for you, huh? Awww.. Have you tried it? I LOVE IT, for sure. purrs

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