Wednesday, 4 May 2016

how rude

Hey!  What do you think you're doing? MOUSES!

Lookie here, little birdie, this ain't no tug-of-war, it's...

Do you see what you just made me do?  I used the word ain't.  Ain't ain't even a word!  I mean, it isn't.  MOUSES!

Now come on, Mr. Birdie...  Or are you a missus?  Doesn't matter, really.  All I know is that you're rude.  Rude as the rudest of birds can be.  MOUSES!

Yeah, you.  Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU.  I'm talking to you, the tug-of-war playing rude birdie who's ripping apart the peep's flowers and making me use bad grammar.

Don't bother looking over your shoulder, little birdie.  There's no one back there. Don't think you're gonna palm the blame off on someone else.  You don't even have palms.  You're a bird!  MOUSES!

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This was what happened at my house, the other morning.  As you can imagine, I was saying a whole lot of MOUSES! on account of the mousin' rudeness of that moused-up bird.  MOUSES!

Now you're probably wondering how a little birdie got me so worked up as normally, this here garden of mine is a bird-friendly zone, for sure.  Well wonder no more 'cause I'm gonna spill the beans right here and right now.

Please note that my spilling of beans does not involve any actual beans.  I'm gonna tell you right here and right now that there are no beans planted in my garden.  Do you know what happens when you plant beans?  I'll tell you what happens.  You get beanstalks growing, for sure.  And do you know what happens when those beanstalks that are growing happen to be growing from magical beans?

YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW!

Believe me, I know.  MOUSES!

But back to the beans...

No, I mean, the bird.  The rude bird.  The rudest bird ever, and for sure.  MOUSES!

What's that, Andy?  Was the bird being rude on account of his having eaten some beans?  I don't think so, Brother Anderson, also known as Sir Fartsalot.  That's your department.  Remember? MOUSES!


Anyway, there was this bird.  I don't know what kind of bird he was except for the fact that he was black like a crow but too small to actually be a crow so I'm thinking he was one of those birdies called Blackbirds or something. You know the ones, I am sure.

So there was this bird who was smaller than a crow but bigger than a little Chickadee or Goldfinch.  A medium-sized bird with gargantuan-sized rudeness packed right in.

And he was rude.  Rude as rude can be.  Do you know what he did?

I'll tell you what he did.  He tore up Peep's rock cress, for sure.

That's right, I was looking out the front door and I saw this medium-sized birdie, we think might be a Blackbird, grab hold of the rock cress and start pulling and pulling and pulling like there was no tomorrow.  He was pulling that ol' rock cress like it was a worm in the ground, holding onto said ground for dear life, except for the fact that it wasn't a worm but rather, a sprig of the peep's rock cress she had planted in the front garden.

I WAS GONNA POSSIBLY POSE NEXT TO THAT ROCK CRESS FOR PICTURE TAKING AND EVERYTHING.  MOUSES!

Well at least I was thinking about posing.  Posing like Rushton did, earlier.  I was giving it some consideration, for sure.  Maybe.  Kinda.  Possibly.  That sort of thing.  MOUSES!

Anyway, so the rude bird pulled and pulled and pulled until the rock cress could hold on no longer and gave up on the ol' game of tug-of-war, and let go.

Just to clarify, it was the rock cress who let go and not the birdie.  No, the birdie held on, causing him to stagger back and when he did, he had a sprig of flowering rock cress in his beak.  Then he began to strut about, showing off his prize, like he was cock of the walk and then...

Okay, there was no actual strutting involved.

But after the tug-of-war game ended and I stopped yelling, the birdie took one look at me and flew off with that rock cress still in his beak.  Yup, flew off to parts unknown wherever those parts may be.  MOUSES!


I, of course, was disgusted.

But I got over my disgust and immediately went and told the peep on that birdie, so as to make sure she didn't blame me for the missing rock cress, thinking I had ripped it apart so as not to have to have my picture taken with it.  MOUSES!

Later that day, I discovered two pansy flowers lying on the driveway, nowhere near where any pansy plants grow. Lying there, wilting away.  Methinks that birdie had something to do with the demise of the pansies, too.  MOUSES!

43 comments:

  1. Hmm, I'm wondering if those weasels put the blackbird up to it, some sort of black market racket in cress. purrs ERin

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    1. waves two ewe Erin, ♥♥♥

      we N joyed your post frum a few ago....we due knot haz google plus; onlee blogger... sew we canna leeve a commint on yur page ~ hope ewe R well

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    2. Black market racket in rock cress... Hmmm... I think you might be onto something, for sure. MOUSES!

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    1. I would have blamed the squirrels - FOR SURE - had I not seen that birdie ripping apart the peep's flowers, with my very own eyes. purrs

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  3. see.....see.....SEE GUYS....

    thiz iz EGGS ACT LEE what we haz been sayin all de live long day... oh de dayz when we talk bout de roood, stooooooooooooooopid, bug infested, caca droppin all over everree thing..... & everee one......BURD......

    a few otherz haz witnezzed thiz furst hand

    & they now bee leeve, & while we iz mega sorree ewe had ta see this ....

    now.......ewe guys two, noe what we haz been sayin for yeerz & yeerz & yeerz..... ta bee de trooth

    ♥♥♥♥♥

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    1. I believe! I BELIEVE! Yes, my friends, I saw it with my very own eyes. What you've been saying about birds has been one hundred percent true, for sure. MOUSES!

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  4. Seville, I just wonder if he/she was stealing the cress and pansy to build a nest! MOUSES!! That's not nice stealing Mommy's flowers without asking if it's okay if he/she can use them for a nest!! Mommy won't blame you -- especially after telling her about that bad birdie!! lubs you !! ♥♥♥

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    1. That birdie 'might' have been building a nest but yes, he or she SHOULD have asked first, for sure. MOUSES!

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  5. WEll that is one bad bird for sure. Tearing up those pretty flowers. Hope he left when you came out. Take care.

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    1. Yup, took one look at me and went POOF! purrs

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  6. At least nobody flipped you the bird pal, that would really have been rude!

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    1. Now that would have been VERY rude, for sure. MOUSES!

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  7. Do you think that bird is building a nest and wanted something nice and soft to lay eggs upon? Even if that is the case, that bird should have asked permission. The only thing the birds around our house do is chow down on sunflower seeds morning to night. Please keep us posted about this situation. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  8. Well MOUSES! That is one naughty bird. A little whappy paw would have set him straightQ

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    1. A whappy paw would set him straight, for sure. MOUSES!

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  9. Dang. That's one seriously rude bird, Sivvers!

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    1. SERIOUSLY rude. I'm thinking that birdie might get his picture in the dictionary... right next to "rude." MOUSES!

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  10. There are no flowers in our yard just yet but there are a few rude birds Seville! Mom bean calls them grackles and they are real piggies (uhmm piggie birdies?) at the feeder. We're gonna have to tell mom bean to watch out for her flowers when they show up.

    We thinks you would look furry handsome among the rock cress, but watch out for that rude bird!
    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. Grackles, huh? That even 'sounds' rude. MOUSES!

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  11. It's a winged vandal! Call the police!

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    1. I never thought of doing that. MOUSES! Next time I'll call 'em, for sure! purrs

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  12. Gosh! I must admit that that rock cress looks rather delicious and nommable so I'm wondering if that birdie was just wanting a snack? Doesn't matter - it's not HIS rock cress, it's the peeps and you were trying to protect it.....birds think everything is THEIRS!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. They do, don't they? Birdies think the whole world is theirs for the taking. MOUSES!

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  13. That is a very bad bird, I think you should get him next time he shows up.

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  14. OMC Dat's just crazy. Wonder what he wanted with dat there rock cress. And by da way Seville, sorry to tell ya' but ain't is a word. It finally made da dictionary. We just hope and purray dat da word irregardless doesn't make it. Da'ts mommy's pet peeve word.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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    1. They put ain't in the dictionary? What? Of all the mousin' moused-up things to do... Awww... MOUSES!

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  15. That little vandal! I hope you catch him red-handed, or red-beaked, or something like that.

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    1. Red-beaked, I should think. He was using his beak to steal the peep's flowers. MOUSES!

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  16. We're shocked, just shocked, at that rude guy. Good for you telling on him! He totally had it coming.

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  17. WOW, that birdie really was rude. He even tore out two kinds of plants. That's very unusual. We've never had that happen here. Maybe there was a big, old, fat worm hiding hear the plant and he wanted it. Mouses!

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    1. Or maybe he mistook the plants themselves for worms? purrs

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  18. Naughty birdie!
    Have a super duper weekend...

    Noodle and crew

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  19. That was an extremely rude bird to be sure. Thank catness you set the record straight and weren't blamed for such awful behavior! Purrs from Deb and the Zee/Zoey kitties

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    1. I know! Can you imagine had the peep found her plants all torn up and I hadn't told her 'bout that bird? MOUSES!

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  20. Oh my. That birdie is wrecking havoc on the plants. You told him.

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    1. Someone had to tell him off, for sure. MOUSES!

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  21. That good fur nothin bird is causing the rock cress to be less! Terrible bad and not good either

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