Sunday, 17 April 2016

the list

Hey there Peepers, Would you mind not being so...  Well...  Hmmm... Would you mind not being such a peep?  MOUSES!

I know, I know...  Once a peep, always a peep. MOUSES!

Guess you really can't help yourself.  I mean, you were born a peep so your being peepish should come as no surprise to anyone.  Not even to me. It's not like you can have a peep adjustment or something like that.  Not like they can de-peepify you or anything, right?  Although if someone were to figure out how to do that...  But I really don't think de-peepifications are possible with today's limited technology.  Too bad though 'cause there would be a market for stuff like that, for sure.

The thing is this, Peepers.  Sometimes...

Scratch that.  Quite often, your peepish behaviours and attitudes grate on my feline sensibilities. MOUSES!

But I haven't totally given up on you, Peepers.  I'm pretty sure that with my help, we can make a new and improved you.  With a little...

Scratch that.  With a lot of hard work, we can make a new and improved peep out of you, for sure.

Now to get us started, I've made a list of stuff I think you need to work on.  We won't be able to tackle everything all at once on account of it being a pretty long list.  But surely we can make a start.

Pass me the paper on top of that big ol' pile of papers, would you Peepers?

I told you, Peepers.  It's a pretty long list, for sure.  MOUSES!

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So that was my plan.  In reality, however, things worked out slightly differently.  For starters, Peep #1 totally ignored my list.  In fact, my list has now become one with the recycling bin.  MOUSES!

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Now here's the thing with peeps.  They tend to be overly sensitive about a number of things including, but not limited to, being presented with a fifty-page list of needed improvements and adjustments in their attitudes and behaviours.

Did I say list?  Yeah, I did say list.  In fact, I said it more than once.  But really, I should have said, summary or better yet, summarized list.  Or maybe listed summaries?  You see, it started out as a simple list but truth be told, I had to summarize most of my points on account of my having only one package of paper.  MOUSES!

But you know, I kind of think that the sheer length of my summarized list is what got me off on the wrong paw with the peep.  But it wasn't my fault.  No sirree. Not my fault the peep has so many faults and believe-you-me, it was that large number of faults that necessitated such a long list, in the first place.

In retrospect however, I probably should have started out with just one or two points.  Yeah, one or two points, every day, from now until Christmas. MOUSES!

It all boils down to one thing.  It all boils down to the fact that peeps have gotta learn to understand, they're not in charge.

Now Peep #1 might have felt like she was in charge when she disposed of my list but really, she was just deluding herself.  Yup, deluding herself, for sure.

You ever hear that saying?  That ol' saying 'bout dogs having masters and cats having staff?  Well why-oh-why is it wrong for me to wanna improve my staff?

And when you think about it, that's really all I was doing.

And when you really think about it, I was simply just trying to help.

But a cat presents his staff with a fifty-page summarized list of ways they can improve themselves and the next thing that cat knows, his staff is improving the recycling bin with the very same list of improvements.

Like the recycling bin is gonna be able to take those improvements to heart.

No way, no how, am I getting my money back on that package of paper.  MOUSES!

Did you realize that there are peeps out there who think they can actually own cats?  Yeah, peeps thinking they can own cats.  Can you believe it?  Just goes to show you how delusional peeps can be.  MOUSES!

The truth is, no one ever owns a cat.  We cats are our own cats, for sure.

People should feel privileged to live with cats.  People should feel honoured to be appreciated and loved by cats. But feel like they own them?  NEVER. Never in a million years.

You see, we cats have minds and hearts of our own.  We know what we like and what we want and what we need, too.  And one of the things we need is good staff, which brings me back to my list.

Now I'm gonna have to go back and write a whole new list and let me tell you, item number one on that new list is gonna be about not putting any more of my lists in the recycling bin, for sure.  MOUSES!

36 comments:

  1. MOL! What are if wif peeps who think dey is in charge??

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    Replies
    1. Delusional. That's what peeps are, for sure. MOUSES!

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  2. You always have to remember that peeps are slow learners!!!

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  3. Trying to improve your staff will just lead to frustration.
    Humans are very hard to teach ;)
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure and JJ

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    Replies
    1. They really are. I'm learning that, for sure. purrs

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  4. Yup, sounds just like my peep too, but we had large piles of newspapers with sundry other things in between, like a sandwich. There may have been a list within, but it will have been lost now for sure. purrs ERin

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    Replies
    1. Missing list sandwich, huh? Hmmm... A real mystery, for sure. MOUSES!

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  5. Humans! They just aren't very bright, are they?

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    Replies
    1. Nope, not bright at all. If they were light bulbs, we'd all be blind by now. MOUSES!

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  6. When human ignore your 50 page improvement list I think things have gone beyond help!! I would suggest an intervention of some sort, Seville, seriouslies!

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    1. I think you're right. I wonder if if there are any professionals 'round here for the job. purrs

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  7. It can be very hard to get through to peeps sometimes. Maybe you should forget the list and just give her a note with two suggestions on. She might take more notice that way. Then when she has done those two "suggestions", you can give her two more. It might take a long time to get through the whole list, but you might also have more success.

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    Replies
    1. I'm thinking I'll have to. I mean, she's clearly not capable of dealing with more than a couple 'items' at a time. MOUSES!

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  8. Replies
    1. I never thought about that! Hmmm... All I know is that the package of paper said fifty sheets so I just kept on writing 'til I had used 'em up. purrs

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  9. Seville...you need to remind your peeps about the Universal Bill of Rights for All Cats. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    Replies
    1. Universal Bill of Rights, you say? MOUSES! I'm gonna remind the peep 'bout that right now! purrs

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  10. Really, sometimes they're all as dumb as a bag of hair!
    Have a super Monday...

    Noodle and crew

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  11. We thinks our bean understands she's our staff most of the time, but efurry so often she needs a tuning in. A good wet hairball horked up just beside her bed, or a well placed claw on the face when she's sleeping seem to help.

    If the list thing works out for you Neville let us know. We know darn well our bean needs some work. Heck she posted Wordless Wednesday on Monday!

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    Replies
    1. Posted Wordless Wednesday on Monday? MOUSES!

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    2. Ummm... Perhaps a calendar would be in order? purrs

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  12. Maybe you should break your 50 items list into smaller steps, more affordable for humans : they are not really bright, right ? Purrs

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    Replies
    1. That's what I'm thinking I'm gonna have to do. Peeps can't handle too much at any one time. MOUSES!

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  13. Peep brains can't handle long lists.....it's best to just feed them our demands one or two at a time.....even then you have to keep reminding them. MOUSES!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'm gonna have to spoon feed her, for sure. MOUSES!

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  14. Constructive criticism leads to a more harmonious vibe, well done Seville, and I'll be doing my own peep-audit in the near future! MOL

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    Replies
    1. Let me know how yours turns out. Inquiring minds NEED to know. purrs

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  15. Maybe one suggestion at a time might be best with our peeps as she's rather gaga!!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, my peep is a slow learner, for sure. Gonna have to spoon feed her that list for sure. That is, once I write it all over. MOUSES!

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  16. My humans can't even go to the food store without their list. Miust be something to do with their failing brain power

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    Replies
    1. The food store? My peeps make grocery lists all the time and do you know what else they do? Forget 'em! MOUSES!

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  17. *sigh* My Peep is mostly trained, maybe because she has the 6 of us and we all keep on her MOL!

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    1. I'm finding mine almost impossible to train. Wonder if I got a couple of duds or something. MOUSES!

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