Sunday, 21 February 2016

rodents and MOUSES!

Rodents.  MOUSES!  No, I meant squirrels.

So anyway, we have squirrels, but this, my friends, is nothing new. Those big ol' grey squirrels took over the old oak tree at the end of my driveway ages and ages ago so I suppose, when I really think about it, this is just part two of the same ol' squirrelly saga. Or could it be part three?

Whatever it is, it has been going on for like forever and that is for sure.  MOUSES!

The last few days, we've been having some unseasonably pleasant weather and the squirrels have been out in full force, running up and down the oak tree and across the driveway and front yard.  I'm not quite sure what they're doing, though.  I mean, besides the running.  And the climbing, of course.  They just seem to be running here and there and pretty much everywhere with very little purpose, if you ask me.

Of course, the squirrels did not ask me and that is exactly what they said when I gave them my opinion of their running about without any purpose.

Well technically, it was more of a who-asked-you-anyway kind of thing.  And there was something about my being nosey and my advice being unsolicited and a few other unmentionables that I cannot repeat here as Nerissa's Life is a family-friendly blog and the unmentionables weren't very friendly at all.  Like I said, they were unmentionable.

Can someone please tell me what is so wrong with asking a squirrel if they know how to read a map?  MOUSES!

Of course, the possibility of the squirrels not having a map in the first place was very real, indeed, and if that were true, their inability to read one was neither here nor there, I suppose.  But considering the amount of running they were doing here and there, a map would have come in handy for sure. MOUSES!

So I set about making 'em one.

First of all, I had to decide what kind of map I would make.  Would I make a treasure map, leading the squirrels to their precious stash of acorns and the like?  Was that the kind of map they could best use?

The answer to that was yes, of course, however as I had no direct knowledge of where they had stashed their stash, a treasure map just wasn't in the cards.  Their secret cache would remain hidden, for sure.  MOUSES!

So I thought to myself and I thought and I thought and I thought and after thinking for a very long time, I realized that what these squirrels needed even more than a treasure map was a map showing 'em where they were going and you know, how to actually get there in a less roundabout route.  From my observations, even with all the running they were doing, they were getting absolutely nowhere at all.  It was almost like they were travelling in circles or something.  MOUSES!

And that's when it came to me.  Squirrel Town!  Way back when, I once heard tell of such a place and it seemed to me that a place called Squirrel Town would be the perfect place for squirrels, for sure. Perhaps it was just such a place to which they were attempting to travel but had been unable to find, all this time.  You know, on account of their not having a map.

So I immediately set about making such a map.  A map leading them from the big old oak tree at the end of my driveway to the long lost place known as Squirrel Town.

Unfortunately, my map-making attempts were thwarted even before I had begun.  Basically, I couldn't figure out where this Squirrel Town was, myself, and it turns out that in order to make a map, one must have some idea as to where the places one is trying to put on the map are, in order to put 'em there.  Who knew?  MOUSES!

But you know, I've seen maps from way back when, when European peeps were mapping out Canada and stuff.  Some of those maps looked suspiciously incorrect, if you ask me.  Of course they, like the squirrels, didn't ask me 'bout that, either.  MOUSES!

So with both the treasure map and the map to Squirrel Town not happening, I decided to take the easy way out.  Borrowing a bright red marker from Peep #1, I put a large 'X' on the big ol' oak tree and wrote underneath it, "You Are Here."  Then I stood back to admire my handiwork.

And that, my friends, is when I discovered one of the squirrels' secret caches of acorns.  Yes, I discovered it as hundreds of acorns rained down upon my head.  MOUSES!

Apparently, squirrels take great offence to being insulted and they found my little X-marks-the-spot thing to be rather...  well...  insulting.  I have no idea why.

The squirrels claim they already knew where they were although truth be told, I don't think I believe 'em.  If they already knew where they were, then why were they running all over the place looking like they had no idea where they were going?  MOUSES!

And to add insult to injury...

And I should just mention that the injury is mine after being bombarded by those acorns.

But anyway, to add insult to injury, Peep #1 has told me I must apologize to the squirrels.  I, of course, told her that my doing so would be crazy.  I believe the words I used were, "That's crazy that is!  Crazier than a squirrel making nut pies kind of crazy, for sure."  Unfortunately, the peep didn't buy it for a moment.  MOUSES!

I don't know.  I think we should just get 'em one of those hamster wheel thingamajigs.  I mean, they appear to like to run in circles anyway.  Why not have 'em run on a big 'ol wheel?  When you think about it, it's kind of the same thing.  Kind of, anyway.

And as the wheel would be stationary, they would always know where they were.  They would always be there.  There on the wheel.  On the hamster wheel, marking the spot and thus eliminating the need for a map.  MOUSES!

32 comments:

  1. We have those creatures here, too, pal. They amuse us no end. MOUSES! (Yes, we occasionally see those, too. And birds, possums, skunks, rats, raccoons, butterflies, moths, and bugs. Lots of bugs.)

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    1. Never seen a possum, myself, but the rest? Oh yeah. Definitely. purrs

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  2. Well hello there, suggestion, if you put out a big hamster wheel that housed a few squirrels you could simply adapt it to give you power in the house when the Power went out. I think you are thinking along the right lines. Good Job Seville

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    1. Oh my mouses! That's the best idea, ever!!! purrs

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  3. MOL! Well, WE thought "You are Here" was BRILL! Seriouslies, they must have NO sense of humor.

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    1. They don't. Never realized it before but now I know, for sure. purrs

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  4. You could have just said "hey guys, I'm sorry you're nuts" and been done with it. MOUSES!

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    1. I love that! They are nuts, you know. Nuts as nuts can be. Crazier than a squirrel making nut pies kind of crazy, for sure. MOUSES!

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  5. Den all ya would need to do is to get da hamster wheel hooked up to make some energy - renewable resource for shures!

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    1. I have GOT to get myself one of those hamster wheels, for sure. purrs

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  6. No way should you apologise, we thinks you did them a favour finding their nuts for them, not forgetting the personal injury caused by their reckless abandonment of those nuts. You could sue! purrs

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    1. Looking up personal injury lawyers as we speak. MOUSES!

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  7. Squirrels are kind of over-sensitive, it would appear. They made it rain acorns on you, just for that "you are here" suggestion? Talk about unappreciative!

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    1. Unappreciative and actually, a little rude, too. MOUSES!

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  8. Well, MOUSES enough about squirrels, Odin just caught the biggest mousie and he'll share.

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    1. Be right over! Preparing the teleporation device now. purrs

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  9. The squirrels out here use GPS. And I don't mess with them.

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    1. Squirrels with GPS? Oohhh... That's super scary, for sure. MOUSES!

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  10. You are so lucky to have squirrels. Here we see one perhaps twice a year. I am sure that they can be ... nice toys to play with. But my human desagrees with the idea.
    You really dont have to apologise. You were just beeing nice to them.
    They are just brainless nuts creatures. Toys !
    Ronrons
    Hisia

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    1. That's what I think, too. I mean, I was just trying to help. You know? MOUSES!

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  11. Wow, wow, wow! That happened to me once. The squirrels were in the big oak tree outside my window and when I went outdoors they were throwing acorns at me! I didn't even do an X-marks-the-spot thing or ask them what they were doing. All I did was chase them to give them a bit of exercise and that was the thanks I got. MOUSES!

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    1. They're extremely unappreciative creatures, for sure. A kitty tries to help and just look at how they behave. MOUSES!

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  12. No way should you apologize to the squirrels. Those little beasts are thiefs and quite destructive, you should have drawn them a map into the street. :)I hope your little head is OK, you should wear a helmet outside.

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    1. Next time I go talk to them, I'll wear a helmet, for sure. MOUSES!

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  13. Squirrels are furry tricky on the best of days.... one day they're your bestest furriend, then next they're stealing your nuts, mew just can't win!!! Great post Seville, purrs Basil xox

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    1. I'm gonna get 'em a book on manners from the library, I think. MOUSES!

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  14. Oh yes, those dang squirrels - we have them too. But since M stopped feeding the birdies, the squirrels don't hang around anymore either. I kinda miss them as one would come right up to the patio door and we'd look at each other through the glass. I do miss that one.

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    1. We have two types here. We used to have lots of little red guys but hardly ever see them now. Most are the big grey ones and when I say big, I mean BIG. They spend a lot of time here in my yard. MOUSES!

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  15. No point in apologizing to those silly squirrels, their attention span is so short they wouldn't remember anyways MOL!

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    1. You're probably right about that. I'll just tell 'em I did and they'll never be any the wiser. purrs

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  16. we never get to see mousies; just great big rats if the humans dn't keep the bird see picked up. But lots of squirrly squirrels

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    1. I've heard of this happening. Rats near bird feeders and such. Those feeders will attract squirrels, too. MOUSES!

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