Sunday, 24 January 2016

I shed you not

Some things in life just aren't fair.  MOUSES!

The other day, someone got into the peep's plants in the sunroom and by someone, I mean a someone with four paws. Yup, someone got right in there and knocked some stuff about.

Boy-oh-boy, the peep was annoyed.  "Who?  What? Why?"  All those words were used although not necessarily in that order and not necessarily alone.  Let's just say they were flavoured with a few mouses.  MOUSES!

"Who in the mouses?  What the mouses?  Why in the mouses?"  Stuff like that, you know?  Like I said, there were a lot of mouses.

Luckily for me, I was in the clear...  this time.  That's right, I was exonerated, to be sure, but this brings me to the what in my life that is so very unfair.

The thing is, I have been told that apparently, when I get into mischief about the house, I have a tendency to leave behind evidence.

Now you might be thinking along the lines of paw prints and stuff like that and to be perfectly honest, at times, that might be correct.  But unfortunately for me, sometimes, the peep doesn't have to get out her paw print identification gear and...

Not that the peep actually has paw print identification gear or anything high-tech like that.  Woman doesn't even have a magnifying glass or working flashlight that I know of.  You see, when it comes to really important investigative work around the house, that kind of stuff is usually left up to me. MOUSES!

Anyway, as I was saying, when the mischief occurred, the peep started sniffing about.

Not that the peep has a good sniffer like a crime-sniffing dog's sniffer or anything like that.  Oh sure, she has a nose.  It's sitting right there in the middle of her face.  Yeah, she has a nose all right but seriously, it's not up to snuff when it comes to sniffing out clues.  Not like mine, which by the way, is not a dog's sniffer at all but rather, a cat's, which is just as good if not better than a dog's, although you have to admit, it is a whole lot cuter.

Perhaps I should mention that we cats aren't as likely as dogs to volunteer for sniffing out crime but it's not because we can't.  It's just because we don't wanna.  MOUSES!

And to be perfectly honest, we cats are more likely to be perpetrating than solving the crimes, if you know what I mean.

And you know what they say.  They say, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

Wait a minute.  Maybe that's not the best of sayings to be using for this particular blog post.  MOUSES!

Not that I was doing any crime... THIS TIME.  MOUSES!

Anyway, as I was saying...

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, some plants were knocked about in the sunroom and the peep went straight into investigative mode, such as she can, which isn't all that great but she tried her best anyway.

Well it turned out to be Rushy.  Yup, Rushy did the crime although Rushy did not have to do any time on account of the peep forgiving him and stuff.  MOUSES!

Now you might be thinking that this is what is unfair when it comes to my life.  That my brother Rushton got caught red-pawed, or rather ginger-pawed as he's a marmalade cat, and got away with it.  And that is kind of unfair although I'm sure Rushy would disagree.  But that's not it.  What is really unfair is this.  Rushy got caught because he left a clump of ginger-coloured fur on one of the sticks sticking out, holding up one of the plants he had been knocking about.

No, scratch that.  What is REALLY unfair is that although - this time - Rushy left a clump of ginger-coloured fur as evidence, usually, he does not.  Usually he gets away with his crimes, scot free. MOUSES!

Nah, scratch that, too.  What is REALLY AND TRULY unfair is that when I do the crime, I do have to do the time because I, Seville the Cat, never get away scot free.  That's on account of the evidence I tend to leave behind.

The thing is, I shed.  That's right, I shed you not!  I, Seville the Cat, am a shedder.

Can't help myself, really.  Everywhere I go, I leave behind what we investigative cats call, trace evidence.  Yup, traces of evidence that look suspiciously like ginger-coloured fur.  MOUSES!

Now I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking that if Rushy is ginger-coloured and I'm ginger-coloured, how can the peep tell the ginger-coloured trace evidence fur is mine?  Well the thing is, my ginger fur is short and Rushy's is long and that, my friends, is apparently all it takes.

What's more, although Rushy did leave behind a clump of his fur the other day, that was quite unusual for my brother to do.  Typically, the boy never sheds!  Same thing with Anderson, too. Those long-haired marmies may get their fur tangled up at times, even getting it into mats and stuff, but they almost never, ever shed!  MOUSES!

I, on the other paw, shed like it's going out of style.  I can't brush up against a wall or a piece of furniture or a plant or a peep without shedding and leaving my lovely ginger fur behind.  My gosh, I breath and I shed.  This is why, my friends, the peep always knows where I have been.  MOUSES!

Now this is what is so terribly unfair.  Under normal circumstances, those two long-haired marmie boys can get up to all sorts of hijinks and mischief without ever being caught but I do one little thing that I shouldn't be doing and all mouses break out.

Seriously, I've seen mouses breaking out of their houses and everything.

Of course I mean mice but mice doesn't rhyme with houses so I'm taking some artistic licence and hoping none of you mind.

Anyway, like I was saying...  I CAN'T GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING!  I can't but those two long-haired marmies sure can and that, my friends, is what is so unfair.

Mason has suggested I shave off my fur so as not to leave trace evidence behind but seriously, I am not into that look and besides, it's winter and this is Canada and...

What am I saying?  I don't care what time of year it is or about the weather, shaving my fur is simply not on the agenda.

Bottom line is, I can't help myself and I shed and therefore, get caught doing hijinks and mischief and stuff but those two brothers of mine?  They can get away with anything.  It's simply not fair.  Unfair as unfair can be.  It's...  It's...  It's MOUSES! it is.  Mouses to a tee.

34 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I keep shedding the stuff all over the place. MOUSES!

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  2. Poor Seville, it is truly unfair that your mischief is so easily discovered. At our house, it is Saku who gets blamed most of the time. Not because he sheds but because....well, he's a brat!

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

    Pee Ess:
    I is not a brat! I just like to have fun.
    Saku

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    1. Yeah, BIG difference between being a brat and having fun, for sure. PURRS

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  3. Oh no, not the furs, MOUSES!

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  4. Sivvers, that really is not fair that your Marmie brothers do not shed. I wonder why? There really must be something very odd about them because I am a long-haired ginger cat and I shed like MOUSES! Tufts on the peeps' bed, on the sofa, on the rug, in any and all of my beddies and blankies, etc. It is surely very abnormal for your brothers not to shed. So be glad you are NORMAL even if it makes it harder to get away with mischief.

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    1. You shed like the mouses? Hmmmm.... My marmie brothers are even weirder than I realized, I think. purrs

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  5. In this case, we would suggest you not take up a life of crime. You would never get away with it and we don't think you'd like doing a stretch in the catitentiary.

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    1. The catitentiary? That anything like the vets? purrs

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  6. No, we agree, shaving is NOT on anyact's agenda (except maybe Faraday's if he thinks he can give Allie a mohawk, but I digress....)

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  7. Whenever something happens here, Binga immediately gets blamed - at least you are not her!

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    1. How come she gets the blame? She up to mischief and stuff? purrs

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  8. Wowzers, Seville. That IS unfair! I guess you can at least be thankful that this time, for once, someone else got blamed instead of you. MOUSES!

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    1. Yeah, and for that I most certainly am grateful. But it hardly ever happens, you see... purrs

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  9. Eric would have been able to sympathise with you. He used to shed like nobody's business! I am like your ginger brothers though and hang on to my fur. There is one occasion though when I do shed. I only have to be hauled off to the vet and I shed a pile 6 inches deep! Well maybe it is not quite that deep, but when you are not used to shedding, it certainly feels like it

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    1. Oh yes! The shedding at the vets. Connie is the star shedder there. You should have seen Peep #1 after all her weekly appointments with Connie's leg when she was wearing that cast. Well you could have TRIED to see the peep. She was covered in calico fur. MOUSES!

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  10. I understand your problem. My servants are able to tell which feline was where because of shed hair. Mine is beautiful, long, soft and white. If the hairs are short and include black ones it's Mr Bumpy Cat at fault. By contrast Miss Fantasia Dog, does not leave hair anywhere, and is seldom in trouble. Really, being an aristocrat, I feel that I should not get the blame for anything, even if my hair is at the scene of the crime.

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    Replies
    1. I can see that. I think you should be able to make a law or something to that effect. purrs

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  11. Poor Seville....that fur gives you away! Purrrhaps you should invest in a hoodie to wear when you're perpetrating a crime so you don't leave EVIDENCE?

    Hugs, Sammy

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    Replies
    1. A hoodie, huh? I'll have to look into that! purrs

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  12. Oh boy, mischief at it's finest!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. I do love a little mischiefing, for sure. purrs

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  13. h man! Ralk about red pawed er furred. Well, I guess you need to stay clear of misdemeanouring - right?

    Silver

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    1. Yeah but the trouble is, that's awfully hard to do. MOUSES!

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  14. Seville I feel fur you my brofur. I tend to shed like a Marmalade Waterfall. Doubly so if I am a bit stressed, like when may have inadvertently caused a bit of bother and am trying to get out of the area as fast as felinely pawsible. Me-Ow!
    Timmy

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    1. You cause trouble? I cannot believe that is possible. purrs

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  15. You shed me not- MOL! You have such a way with words. Sorry you can't be naughty and get away with it.

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    1. I'm thinking that should be my catchphrase! purrs

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  16. I shed with you buddy Sivvers. No, seriously, I DO shed with you...all the time, all year. BUT..and the BUT is important. TKS SHEDS worse...24/7 365 days a year. Yup. The peeps can always tell if one of us was lying on their nice warm clean clothes...BUT...and an important BUT...they cannot always tell if it is MY fur or those of TKS...so I always point my paw at her...heh...heh

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    1. A little paw pointing never hurt anyone. MOUSES!

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  17. Hmmm. Mommy says I shed more than any cat she has ever been owned by. I share your pain!

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    1. You shed too! It appears to be an epidemic of sorts. MOUSES!

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