Sunday, 27 December 2015

calendar boy

So the new year is almost upon us and I have big plans.  Big plans, I tell you.  Super duper big plans, to be sure.  2016 is gonna be my year, if you know what I mean. MOUSES!

For starters, I'm thinking of publishing my first ever calendar.  Yup, a calendar for the new year. A calendar featuring - you guessed it - me. MOUSES!


Picture it, a calendar with twelve pictures of ME.  I heard that that guy who heads up..,

What's that, Peepers?  It's inappropriate to call the leader of a country the guy who heads up, you say?  Really?  REALLY?  Nah, that can't be right.  I heard what's-his-face calling him that just the other day.  Yup, it was on the news and everything.  MOUSES!

Anyway...

Apparently the President - or Prime Minister or Supreme Leader or whatever he calls himself these days - of some country is doing this calendar...

Hold that thought.

You know, I'm not sure it's such a great idea to go around calling yourself the "Supreme Leader" of a country.  I mean, in all the movies I've ever watched involving aliens, the aliens always say, "Take me to your leader."  You ever think about that?  The aliens always wanna meet up with the leader and when you call yourself the Supreme Leader, well...

Well it's just asking for trouble, if you know what I mean.  Those aliens usually aren't the overly friendly sort.  MOUSES!

Now truth be told, maybe they are a friendly lot when gathered around the holiday table but we never really see them painted in that light, do we.  No, we always see them doing alien stuff like...  Well... Well like...

Well like did you ever see that movie Independence Day?  Did you?  I'm telling you, if the aliens from Independence Day wanted to meet up with all the world leaders and I happened to be one of those world leaders, I'd be pointing my paw over at the guy calling himself the Supreme Leader and saying, "You want that guy.  Eat him first.  He says he's supreme.  I think that means, tasty. MOUSES!"

Of course, not all aliens are mean and stuff.  It would be wrong to judge all aliens by the behaviour of just a few.  That would be like specism or something, I think.

I always liked Mr. Spock, though.  Spock was a kind, peace-loving soul even if he was an alien.  Not overly friendly as in the going-around-hugging-everybody-and-taking-selfies-with-you kind of friendly but hey, even Mr. Spock would admit he really didn't have the hair for that kind of friendliness, if you know what I mean.  MOUSES!

And I never once heard Mr. Spock say, take me to your leader.  Never once saw him eating any peeps, either.  MOUSES!

But I digress.  This here blog post is supposed to be about my calendar.  That's right, I'm gonna be a calendar boy, for sure.

I'm thinking I should be nekkid in the pictures.  Or at least shirtless.  No need to dress me up in costumes or anything.  I mean, I'm a pretty good-looking cat.  Peeps keep telling me so, so it must be true.  Plus, I've seen myself in a mirror.  Peeps who say I'm a cutie aren't lying and that is for sure.

And I'm thinking I should include a few quotes, too.  Heard that guy heading up - whatever - that aforementioned country is including quotes in his calendar.  I should do the same.  MOUSES!

But why stop at calendars?  I'm thinking...  PERFUME.  That's right, a Seville-inspired perfume is a must-do for 2016.

What's that, Peepers?  NO!  Oh my mouses.  Sometimes I really wonder 'bout my peep.

A Seville-inspired perfume will not smell like me as Peep #1 asked for I, Seville the Cat, do not smell at all.  I mean, I can smell, like I can smell but I don't smell, if you know what I mean.

No, a Seville-inspired perfume will smell of nip for what could possibly be more inspiring than the smell of nip?  Of course, it could smell like me if I were to take a bath in the stuff.  You know, bathe in the nip.  Or maybe just roll around in a field of nip or...

OH MY MOUSES!

One of the pictures for the calendar should be just that!  Yup, a picture of me, nekkid, rolling around in a field of nip.  Peeps would pay big bucks for that, to be sure.  MOUSES!

What?  What, Peepers?  What are you talking about now?

Hmmm...  You could be right about that, Peepers.  MOUSES!

The peep has suggested that if I spray nip all over myself, other cats might mistake me for a nip-mouse or something.  Not that I look like a nip-mouse but still...

Peepers, you think Seville-inspired room fresheners and candles might be a better idea?  Something along those lines?

But speaking of rooms, I'm thinking of acquiring some new real estate, too.

The Seville Tower will be the tallest kitty condo in the house.  Floor to ceiling condo.  Gonna make the kitty condo business great again.  Yup, a condo as tall as the walls.  No one - and I mean no one - can climb a wall like me but why climb a wall when you can climb a condo? And that's exactly what I will do.  Climb the condo otherwise to be known as the Seville Tower.

And I shall spray my new Seville-inspired air freshener all over the rooms of my new Seville Tower and I shall lie on the perch of that tower to have my picture taken for future calendars, too.  I can see it now and it will be beautiful.

2016 is gonna be a great year, to be sure.  MOUSES!

34 comments:

  1. We would definitely LOVE to see you rolling nekkid in a field of nip.
    MOL!

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    Replies
    1. I would like to BE rolling around in that field right about now, myself. purrs

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  2. You sure have some big plans for 2016, Seville. We can't wait!

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    Replies
    1. Yup, I figure it's not too late. That other guys calendar just went on sale a couple days ago. purrs

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  3. Wow, you DO have big plans! Hey, I'm naked on the front cover of my calendar for 2016! (Although I'm not naked in every photo.) So why not?

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  4. We'd buy a calendar, for sure...just what the Palace needs. Maybe you could add a scratch-n-sniff area to each month, of your favourite nip and fine cheeses of the world? purrs

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  5. Those are impressive plans, Seville ! Can't wait to see what's really going to happen in 2016 ! Purrs

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  6. You are going to be a calendar star, seriously! MOUSES!

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  7. You know, our mom's been talking about doing that calendar thing for years and now, you're actually going to do it! MOUSES! Obviously, we need some big plans too!

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    Replies
    1. Well I figure if the guy heading up some country can do it, why can't I? purrs

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  8. Nekkid pictures of you in a calendar? Great idea! Seville Tower and Seville perfume sound pretty great too! You're quite the ambitious kitty. I admit to being lazy.

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    Replies
    1. Well I'll probably pose for the calender while relaxing. purrs

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  9. Replies
    1. You think 6000 rubles is too high of a price? purrs

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  10. Dream big Sevvy! We agree with the nip perfume and the BIG tower. That picture taking though, it is one of our least favorite, just ask Mom MOL!

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    1. Yeah, I'm hoping the peep can take the pictures while I sleep so that I don't notice too much. purrs

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  11. Goodness Seville, you is going to have a busy 2016. That nip perfume/room freshener sounds purrfect to us. Now if we can just convince the mom bean.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    Replies
    1. One can never have too much nip and that, my friends, is for sure. MOUSES!

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  12. Oh goodness! You do have some amazing plans for 2016. As for the calendar, it may just be a great hit. As for the perfume, well, someone already came up with a perfume that smells like a cat's head, so I think you're on to something!
    --Purrs (and wags) from Life with Dogs and Cats

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    Replies
    1. Cat's head, huh? Would that be the smell of a cat who just rolled about on his head in the nip? purrs

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  13. Now those are some plans for 2016 Seville.

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  14. Big plans indeed!!!
    Hope you had a great Christmas!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  15. I would definitely buy a calendar of you Seville- lets your siblings be in it too :)

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    Replies
    1. Do you think so? That guy heading up Russia just posed on his own. purrs

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  16. Sivvers, your calendar will be a hot sale item on Amazon for sure

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  17. I love the idea of Eau deSeville!!!

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    Replies
    1. I LOVE that name! That is what I shall call it, for sure. purrs

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