Sunday, 13 September 2015

attention span of a gnat

Ever notice how easily distracted peeps can be?  Let me tell you, my peeps have the attention span of a gnat.  Maybe. Maybe combined. Maybe a little less than that.  MOUSES!

So anyway, the peep is having a birthday soon.  Yup, Peep #1 will be a year older, exactly two weeks from today.  Well technically, she'll be two weeks older, two weeks from today but who's counting? MOUSES!

Got some big plans for Peep #1's big day. I'll be having a couple of naps - of course - and then probably some playtime.  Also, it's Sunday which makes it a posting day for me on this here blog so I'll be doing that, too.  And I'm thinking that at some point, I'll need to give her a birthday prezzie although, truth be told, I have no idea what that prezzie will be.  Not that I haven't given it a lot of thought.  Just haven't figured it out yet.  MOUSES!

Anderson says he doesn't need to give the peep a birthday prezzie on account of his first coming inside the house last year, the day before her birthday.  He says that his first Gotcha Day can double as Peep #1's prezzie.  I'm not sure if that's going to work out though.  Oh sure, Peep #1 was super happy when Andy decided to come live inside but still...  I'm thinking we cats need to get her a little something we can wrap up and stick a bow on.  Something like that.

We can't get her a birthday cake, though.  Nope, she's getting one of those, herself.  Actually, she's going to make it.

Yeah, Peep #1 had her heart set on a red velvet cake that wasn't red on account of her not being a big fan of all that red dye.  By the way, did you know that the original red velvet cakes weren't all that red?  Nope, they were just a little red and it was caused by a reaction with the cocoa and vinegar or buttermilk or something like that.  Read it somewhere.  Not sure where and to be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure if it's true.  Can't always trust everything you read, you see. MOUSES!

Anyway, like I was saying, Peep #1 had her heart set on a red velvet cake that wasn't red so she was going to have to make it herself and by scratch.  Not like in cat scratches but like...  uh... whatever by scratch means.

But then Connie got sick.

Yeah, my sister Constance got sick.  Well technically, she's not sick.  She's injured.  She broke her leg.

Peeps aren't quite sure how Constance broke her leg and Connie isn't talking.  Not even to me!  I've asked her how it happened but she won't say a word.  Word on the street is that Connie may have fallen from the railing thingy at the top of the stairs.  You see, Constance has always had a penchant for perching on precarious surfaces and then falling asleep and sometimes, once sound asleep, falling down.

Peeps know for a fact that Connie hurt herself in the house and she did it somewhere upstairs.  Now as she likes to climb up on that railing thingy and take naps...  Let's just say the peeps put two and two together and, for once, it added up to four.  MOUSES!

So Constance had to have x-rays and they showed three fractures.  Now her right hind leg is all wrapped up in this splint cast kind of thing and she and the peeps are playing the waiting game.  In another week and a half or so, the doctor will take more x-rays to see if her leg is healing.  Doctor says it's too early to tell, yet, so in the meantime, she just has to go in periodically to have the splint cast thing re-wrapped and stuff.

Connie says playing the waiting game isn't much fun.  She'd much rather be playing with a wand toy or something like that but she's not supposed to be overly active so there's no wand toy playing in her immediate future.  MOUSES!

But because of Connie's sore leg, the peeps have been spending as much time as possible with her so last night, when Connie hopped - literally - into the family room, dragging her splinted leg behind her, Peep #1 scooped her up for some cuddle time on the chesterfield.  That's when the British Baking Show came on television.  Connie and the peep watched it together although my sister tells me it wasn't at all what she was expecting.  When she heard they were baking cakes, she immediately thought they were talking about fish cakes which, unfortunately, was not on the menu at all.  Not a fish in sight, I am told.  What good is that?  MOUSES!

Then this morning, Peep #1 Googled the two chefs from the cooking show to see if either one of them had a recipe for a red velvet cake.  She had already been given a recipe by a friend but wondered if Mary or Paul from the cooking show had recipes, too, so she checked out their Facebook pages to see what she could find.  Long story short, Peep #1 is now thinking she might make some kind of walnut cake for her birthday.

Remember how I said Peep #1 had the attention span of a gnat?  Of half a gnat?  Maybe?  On a good day?  Well the peep had her heart set on a red velvet cake that wasn't red but all it took was one episode of a baking show and five minutes playing around on the computer and she had totally changed her mind.  MOUSES!

Instead of playing around on the computer, she should have been playing with me.  There's a wand toy in the living room that has been begging me to biff it for several days now. MOUSES!

But back to the birthday prezzie.  I haven't got a clue what we cats should get the peep.  Whatever it is, we'll split it five ways.  Connie's not really feeling up to prezzie giving and Andy, as I mentioned earlier, thinks the gift of him is good enough.  But the rest of us are going to have to come up with something.

I heard about this nip-flavoured lip balm which sounded super tasty but then I found out it was for wearing and not actually eating and said to myself...  MOUSES!

Then I went looking for nip perfume but alas, not a single major perfume company has thought to make such a thing.  I couldn't believe it!  Oh sure, they have roses and lilies and vanilla coming out of their ears but catnip?  NOTHING.  Thought for sure someone would have invented catnip perfume by now but apparently, I was wrong.

Finally, I thought about that old birthday cake Peep #1 was planning on making for herself.  What if we cats were to get together and make it for her?  That could be a gift, right?  Of course, we wouldn't be making red velvet cake that isn't red or walnut cake, either.  My sister, Tess, had a wonderful idea, suggesting we make a birthday cake infused with the essence of nip and iced with buttercream icing.

That's when I remembered we cats aren't allowed to play around the oven and stove.  MOUSES!

So with our baking of the birthday cake out of the question, it was back to the old drawing board. Not that we actually have a drawing board but you get the picture, I am sure.  Not that I drew that picture you got or anything though because, you know, I don't have a board for drawing such things. I am drawing boardless, I am afraid.  MOUSES!

My brother Rushton suggested that perhaps, for the peep's birthday, we could all be on our very best behaviour for the entire day.  It sounded like a good idea at first until Tess reminded me that we gave the peep that, last year, and it didn't work out so well.  Turns out, we seven cats aren't actually capable of being on our best behaviour for twenty-four hours.  At least not twenty-four hours in a row, if you know what I mean.

Then I thought to myself, if we're talking about things being in a row, how about ducks?  It has been raining here a lot as of late - over four inches the other day! - and I'm pretty sure flocks of ducks will be arriving any moment now.

But ducks, of course, made me think of that wand toy in the living room, just BEGGING me to give it a biff.  It has a feather on its end, you see, and ducks, of course, have feathers, too.  MOUSES!

My sister Tobias had the most brilliant idea of all.  She suggested we give the peep some toys. Couple wand toys and nip mice always go over well.  I know I'd love that for my birthday, for sure. And if we're being really generous, we can put the toys in a box, wrap it up and stick a feather...  I mean, a bow on it.

Since it is a well-known fact that the best birthday gifts have bows on them, we cats decided to go with the box of toys.  Sticking a bow on a box of toys is easy enough to do, unlike sticking a bow on a well-behaving cat.  A lesser-known fact is that sticking a bow on a cat is never a good idea and believe me, I speak from experience on this matter.  MOUSES!

No, no...  The peeps have never stuck a bow on me.  I, on the other paw, did try to stick bows on all my fur-sibs, last year, when we were going to be on our best behaviour for a whole day for Peep #1's birthday.  Let's just say that by my attempting to stick a bow on Tess, the whole best behaviour idea was pretty much doomed from the start.  MOUSES!

Perhaps I should have tried gluing a feather on her...

But I digress.  It's time to get this here blog post back on track.  As I was saying earlier, my peeps have attention spans equivalent to extremely inattentive gnats.  You'd never catch us cats being so easily distracted.  When we concentrate on something, we really concentrate on it and we don't go around changing our minds all willy nilly.  No, we cats...

Oohhh....   Is that a nip mouse I see? MOUSES!


17 comments:

  1. I think you guys have some really awesome plans for your human's birthday! I'm sending purrs to Connie so she heals soon and can get rid of that cast!

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    1. I've passed those healing purrs on to Connie and she says, thank you very much. PURRS

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  2. * Helpless giggle * On dear Seville you ARE having trouble finding a gift aren't you!!

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    1. Yeah, peeps are so hard to find prezzies for. MOUSES!

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  3. MOL Seville! I thought for sure you were having a dream when there was a mention of being on good behavior all day!

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    1. That pretty much sums it up, for sure. MOUSES!

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  4. I think you need to get her a drawing board. Since obviously the whole family is drawingboardless.

    So sorry about Connie's broken leg! Purrs dear girl.

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    1. A drawing board, huh? Now THAT'S a great idea! purrs

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  5. Sounds like your peep isn't the only one with attention span problems! I hope Constance's leg mends well.

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    1. Yeah, my sisters have issues with attention spans, too. You noticed that, huh? purrs

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  6. I think I've the answer, maybe you all could put on a pantomime, or maybe one of the magic shows...you could even make the fur sibs disappear, though suspect peeps would want them back again sharpish...

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    1. A magic show... INTERESTING... My sister Tess has been known to be quite magical. Maybe she could be the star. purrs

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  7. Seville, we know it is furry hard to find the purrfect prezzies for beans. What more could they need besides us?

    Purrs to Connie! We hope she feels better soon.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  8. Happy belated birthday to peep #1. I am sorry about Connie, I hope she heals quickly. Happy Gotcha Day to Anderson! I can see why the peep didn't want to use all the red dye, I made a cake like that once and it took an entire bottle of red- ick. Thank you for the kind words you left on my blog about my Lucy- I do hope she is in Heaven with Nissy enjoying some nip.

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  9. Seville, this attention span thingy ..... now what was I saying? Oh yes, now about these inattentive gnats, perhaps you should upgrade them to mosquito or something. I think mosquitos have a bigger atten ..... oh wait! Is that a walnut velvet fish cake?

    PeeEss I hope Connie's leg is better soon xoxoox

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  10. sorry to be late to Peep #1's birthday plans; but hey, I know you guys managed a great celebration. Now about that set of leg fractures for Connie; I am so embarrassed to just be learning about this...seriously, BLAME MY MOM L...she is and has been totally lame about letting me have computer time I have missed so much...*hides face with paw in shame* Sending special purrs to Connie and her healing

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    1. You're not late at all, Savvy. In fact, you're a week early. I wrote this post last Sunday, two weeks before the peep's birthday. Now there's still one week. You been messin' with time travel and whisks? purrs

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