Sunday, 2 August 2015

finding the right fit

Oomph!  Ummph!  Grrrrr! MOUSES!

Oh hello there.  Sorry about that.  You caught me trying to fit this squarish-shaped plastic thing-a-ma-gig into this triangular hole.  Long story short, it doesn't fit. MOUSES!

Remember those toys? Remember them from way back when?  The big plastic balls covered in holes of various shapes and sizes?  You were supposed to fit the plastic pieces into their correspondingly shaped holes.  Like um...  Well...  Well like you'd put the plastic triangle into the triangular hole and the plastic circle into the circular hole and so forth.  Remember those?

To be honest, I never played with those toys when I was young, being a cat and all.  I was more of a nip mouse kind of kitten, myself.  Still am.

I'm pretty sure Peep #1 had one of those shape toys, though, when she was little but do you know who clearly didn't?  The lady who was helping Peep #1 get the bags of potting soil into the car yesterday, at the store.  Or maybe she did have one of those toys but never got the knack of it. Never figured out the issues with the different shapes and sizes.  How to get them to fit and stuff. That kind of thing.  MOUSES!

Now I'm not going to bore you with the events leading up to the getting of the potting soil into the car trunk even though it did involve the peep waiting outside in the hot sun for fifteen or twenty minutes. I'll just get right to the part about stuff not fitting.

You should have seen her.  The lady from the store, I mean.  When she couldn't push the fifth bag of potting soil to the back of the car trunk, she gave it a boot.  Just kidding.  She gave it a thump. And when it still wouldn't fit, she thumped it again.  And then again.  On the fourth thump, the bag burst and with each subsequent thump of her fists, bits of potting soil spewed out into the air and all over the place.  Did that stop her?  NO.  She just kept thumping on that poor old bag of potting soil.

Finally the peep stopped her.  The peep stopped her by yelling, "Enough already!"

Clearly, this is what happens when one does not pass Toddler Identification of Shapes and Sizes 101.  MOUSES!

Peep #1 was livid.  She got that bag of potting soil to fit all by herself and then she put the sixth bag in the back seat of the car, not wanting the lady from the store to get anywhere near it.  One burst bag was one too many and she didn't need any more.  Didn't need any more burst bags, for sure.

And by the way, the peep now has a burst bag of potting soil in the garage and I have a rather grumpy peep on my paws.  MOUSES!

But enough of that.  You hear about the good news?

Remember my blog post, "they want do WHAT?" My blog post about the Psychoactive Substances Bill in the UK?  Remember how nip was inadvertently going to be made illegal? Remember that?

Well there's good news on the UK nip front.  I checked and changes have been made to the bill.  The bill now clearly states they're talking about substances made for "human consumption" so the country's nip mouse supply should be safe and sound.  Pet stores across the land will be able to stock nip mice and biff bags on their shelves and peeps will be able to sell them at church bazaars and car boot sales.

Whether or not they'll fit in those car boots without a thumping is another matter although truth be told, I think they will.  Nip mice are almost always smaller than bags of potting soil.

Oohhh...  But wouldn't it be wonderful to find a nip mouse the size of a big old bag of potting soil? MOUSES!

And for those kitties who rely upon their local health food store's array of herbal teas for their nip, their supply should be legal as well.  Although nip has not been specifically listed as an exempted substance, I'm most certain it will be exempted along with other foods, which now include, drink.

So don't worry, my feline friends.  The House of Lords has decreed that you'll be able to enjoy your nip in the comfort of your own home and not have to imbibe at the local cat house, using up all your lunch money.  Best to save your lunch money for more important things like, you know, lunch.  And maybe a few treats.  MOUSES!

Oh, did you hear?  We have an election coming up in Canada.  Yup, it was announced today. Going to be a long, hot summer if you ask me.  Longest campaign period since...  Since...  Since practically forever.  Third longest since Confederation.  Seventy-eight days.  Hasn't been a longer one since 1872 and if I'm not mistaken, that one took so long because it involved horses and buggies and staggered voting across the country and stuff.

You know, because the Canadian economy is doing so very wonderfully well, it makes sense that we'd want to have a super-duper long campaign period just to make sure that the election will rack up a monstrously huge bill.  Due to the length of this upcoming campaign, it might very well become the biggest election bill ever.  MOUSES!

I know what you're thinking.  You're wanting to ask me if I'm running in the upcoming election. Sadly, no.  In fact, I don't think there are any cats running in the next election.  Truth be told, I'm not sure cats are even allowed to run federal elections.  Specism.  MOUSES!

Actually, I'm batting about the idea of doing something a little more local.  Word on the street is that our municipal county council could do with a little poke in its side and I do believe there will be a municipal election next year.  What do you think?  Councillor Seville?  Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Of course, there's always that Senate appointment Nissy was after...

But for the Senate, you have to live in Ottawa for part of the year and I'm not sure if I like the sound of that.  Not sure what the nip growing conditions are in Ottawa and the peep is finally learning how to grow the stuff here.

I think what it all comes down to is finding the right fit.  Some things just fit together naturally and other things, don't.  Luckily for me, I have some time to decide.  Time to ponder the situation.  Time to speculate on my own actions. That sort of thing.

Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a squarish-shaped plastic thing-a-ma-gig to fit into this triangular-shaped hole.  I'm thinking, laser saw.  I slice that square piece of plastic in two and it's gonna fit like a charm.

You see?  THIS is why cats should rule the world.  We know how to get things done.  MOUSES!

41 comments:

  1. That is good news! You know what Sivvers? On behalf of NUCAT I had a word with my old mate Larry the cat who lives at 10 Downing Street! I think it was he who got that old Psycho bill changed! I'm pretty sure we made a difference! Power to the Kitties!!

    Now about this square potting sack thingy. Perhaps someone should change the shape of the store lady?

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    1. I sure am glad Larry was able to sort that bill out because it really was psycho, for sure. MOUSES! purrs

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  2. Hey Seville, if anyone can get that thingy in that hole it will be you! We have an election coming up here too, but it looks like everyone will try to decide which clown gets to be Bozo!

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    1. You have clowns? And do they have their very own car, too? Inquiring minds want to know. purrs

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  3. Oh Seville, poor Peeps, she should have made them clean up that bag of soil and give her another. That was not a nice thing to do to the Peep. Miserable thing election stuff, spend more money, spend more money. They won't quit til there is nothing left. Hope you had a good day out in the sunny yard amongst all those pretty flowers. Hugs and purrs.

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    1. She says she thought about asking for a new bag but only for a second. Remember that long wait outside the store? Well that was only the half of it! The peep thought if she asked for a new bag, she'd be there for another hour. MOUSES! purrs

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  4. I think your peep should have insisted they take the broken bag back and give her a new one- and I would have said something much harsher than Mouses, but being this is a family friendly blog, I won't write it.
    That is great news about the nip though :)

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    1. She almost did ask but then realized she'd be there for even longer than she had already been. There was a wait in line to pay for the soil and then she waited outside forever but nobody came. She went back into the store only to find that the lady at customer service had told the person who was called to help the peep that there was nobody needing her help because she hadn't been there when the peep had paid for the soil. Then it took quite a while to put the bags on a cart and even longer to wheel them through the store and over to the peep's car. All in all, it was not a good day for the peep. purrs

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  5. If only or cam-pain season wuz 78 days. Seems more like 78 months.

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    1. Yeah, yours has been going on for quite a while, hasn't it. Ours need only be thirty-seven days or something like that. Twice as long means twice as much. Boy-oh-boy... some peeps. MOUSES! purrs

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  6. Councillor Seville has a very nice ring to it!

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  7. While I would ay hurrah for the 'nip, I am not so sure about a long election people will get bored and do silly things - er - right?

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    1. Silly things? Oh they started doing those a while ago. MOUSES!

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  8. It is SO obvious that cats are MUCH smarter than humans! Sheesh. You post is just more proof.

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  9. A laser saw wielding councillor would get things sorted for sure. Maybe even get peeps bags of potting soil delivered too. purrs

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    1. Yup and as luck would have it, I believe I HAVE a laser saw lying around here somewhere. MOUSES! purrs

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  10. Thank goodness we haven't got an election campaign this year but next year seems as though that will be ours - can we borrow some of those mouses then please as we don't think we'll have enough to go round?
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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    1. You bet! We Canadian kitties are more than happy to share our mice. purrs

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  11. That's quite an adventure your peep had. Sheesh. Hey, great news on the nip! You can help yourself without fear of going to jail!

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    1. Yeah, because locking up a kitty for imbibing in the nip would be CRIMINAL, for sure. MOUSES!

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  12. UGH! yes, I remember those toys!!!! LOL! Have fun!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  13. What an adventure ! Yay for the nip ! Purrs

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  14. Phew! I am very relieved about the nip. Sounds like the lady in the store needed a thump more than the potting compost did.

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    1. Oh yeah and had I, Seville the Cat, been there, I would have thumped her, for sure. Or maybe just peed on her. Peeps don't like that, you see. purrs

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  15. Hope you find a way to make it fit! I swear our election campaign lasts four years.... minus a day.

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  16. Holy carp! My ma would have buried that woman in that potting soil. That would have had her breathing fire.

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    1. You mean like planted? BUT WHAT IF SHE MULTIPLIED? MOUSES!!!

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  17. Hey Seville, mes hears that Mr Harpur wants to gets rid of the Senate by attrition, Mommy says that means they is going to let all the senators gets old and die and then, when they is all gone, there will be NO Senate...can yous imagine being the last Senator? They think those guys takes advantage now....
    Kisses
    Nellie
    PS Thanks for coming to my 5th Blogoversaty Pawty! It would not has been the same without yous!

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    1. Yup, that's what he says. Only thing is, I'm not sure that his doing that is legal. But now that Parliament has been dissolved, he doesn't actually have to appoint any Senators. Not even if the Supreme Court tells him he must. purrs

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  18. You are such a pretty kitty! We have all sorts of mouse type toys for our kitties and they love them all. They are also a huge fan of the nip! We even tried to grow it but that was sort of a fail.. Yay for the black thumb! LOL! :D

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    1. Peep #1 has been pretty bad on the nip-growing front but this year, things have really turned around. Three plants. ALL STILL ALIVE! Miracles do happen, I think. purrs

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  19. Maybe your peep should have dumped some of that dirt on the store lady! What a dumb bean.

    As for the 'leck shun...our mom bean has been sighing and grumbling all over the place. She say she is so tired of the attack ads and those were from before the call. It's gonna be a long 78 days!

    Hooray for the nip! We thinks you would made a good councillor. Maybe you could vote for a nip park...wouldn't that be pawsome?

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    1. I know what you mean about the attack ads. Peep #1 said she was considering posting the ad about SH talking about JT's hair on her FB timeline, every time she saw an attack ad on TV. She decided against it when she realized she'd be posting ten, fifteen, twenty times a day. MOUSES!

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  20. I think of myself as sort of a square peg, to tell you the truth. :) And to be sure, if a peep tries to pound me into a round hole, I might shred them, too! Sorry about the exploded soil. :( But YAY that catnip is still legal!

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  21. Wow, potting soil rage... that lady at the store was sure sharing her bad day.
    Councillor Seville? Why aim so low? Prime Minister has a nice ring...
    xxoo

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