Wednesday, 8 July 2015

the penthouse suite

I'm living in the penthouse suite.

Hey, when a cat's special, a cat is special. You know?

Okay, maybe it's not an actual penthouse suite. Maybe it's really just the upstairs of a plain old, run-of-the-mill house but a cat can dream, can't he? Of course he can. MOUSES!

But he truth is, I have been spending a lot of my time upstairs, as of late.

This love of the upstairs all began after my brother Anderson joined the family.  Not immediately afterwards.  Let's just say there was an 'incident' on our little sunbathing roof outside the kitchen window and after that, I started spending a bit more time on the upper level.  On the upper level, in my penthouse suite.

Peeps had already installed a new bathroom up there so I have my own private bath.  It's pretty much a normal litter box but it's private and that's what matters most.  Except, of course, when Tess or Rushton decide to use it, too.  MOUSES!

What's that Andy?  You say I've been exiled?

See what I have to put up with?

EXILED!  I'll show you exiled, Andy  No way, no how, have I been exiled.  I've just been enjoying a little privacy upstairs, that's all.

Of course, no penthouse suite is complete without a private entrance and I have one of those, too. Yeah, peeps call it a bathroom window but personally, I like to think of it as my very own private elevator.

Unfortunately, some of the other cats living in this house like to think of it as their very own private elevator, too.  MOUSES!

And then there's the fact that it's not really an elevator.  It's just a window, really.  A window that the peeps can open for me.  It doesn't elevate or anything.  From the open window, I have to jump down onto the sunroom roof and then down onto the railing of the deck and from there, onto the ground. There's a lot of jumping involved.  Nothing is automated at all.

Plus, there are no buttons to push or phones to use to call the outside world if the elevator should happen to get stuck however technically, it can't get stuck on account of it not elevating.  On the other paw, maybe it really IS an elevator and really SHOULD elevate and stuff but has gotten itself stuck on the level of the upstairs bathroom.  Something to ponder, for sure.

Come to think of it, it does come with its own elevator operators.  Peep #1 and Peep #2 have to open and close the bathroom window in order for me to use the elevator.  Hmm...

Nah, that can't be right.  I once read somewhere that some elevator operators who worked in department stores and the like had to attend charm school.  No way, no how, did my Peep #1 ever attend charm school.  MOUSES!

Well, if she did, she didn't pass.

Charming.  MOUSES!

But that brings me to the point of this here blog post.  It happened late last night.  About nine or ten o'clock, I do believe.

Peep #1 realised that Mason, Tess and I were not in the house.  She immediately knew we must be out in the yard, but where?  So she went to the front door and called for the three of us.  Mason came running, immediately, the little suck-up.  She does that to get in the peeps' good books.  And to score extra treats, too.  Peeps don't realise what she's up to but I do.  I can see through Mason like a newly cleaned window.

Tess, on the other paw, wasn't nearly as cooperative.  She made an appearance, all right, but the peep had to go outside to pick her up and bring her in and, of course, Tess immediately started to growl.  She does that.  Growl, I mean.  Grumpy Cat has NOTHING on my sister, Tess.

That left me.  The peep called and called and called my name but to no avail.  Finally, knowing what must be done, Peep #1 walked around to the side of the house and called for me from there.  She half expected me to come running because I've done that before but not last night.

Last night, I sat up on the roof of the house and called back to the peep.  "I'm up here!" I called out to her.  "Look up, Peepers.  Look way, way up.  I'm up on the rooftop!"

I know what you're all thinking.  You're all thinking that I was up on that rooftop looking for Santa Clause.  Well I wasn't.  This is July and Santa doesn't land on rooftops in July.  It's far more likely that I would be up there looking to see if he had done any damage way back in December when he was up on that rooftop but truth be told, I wasn't doing that, either.  I checked for reindeer damage back in May after the snow had all melted.  Thankfully, there wasn't any.  MOUSES!

Anyway, after what seemed like an eternity but was really probably about two minutes, it dawned on the peep that I was up on the roof and she realised that someone must have closed the bathroom window, thereby cutting off access to my very own private elevator and my penthouse suite.

So back inside the house went the peep.  Back inside and upstairs where she opened the bathroom window and stuck out her head.  Yeah, she just stuck out her head.  She never actually uses the elevator herself.  Don't know why.  She just doesn't.  Maybe she doesn't know how or something.

Again, Peep #1 called and called and called my name.  She thought I would appear any second and hop right into the bathroom like I have many a time before but this time, I didn't.  I didn't appear at all.  So the peep closed the window and once more, headed downstairs and back outside.

Peep #1 again walked over to the side of the house to call for me when all of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, I came running to her, chattering all the way.  I had taken the fireman's pole shortcut down, you see.  Okay, it's not really a fireman's pole and truth be told, it wouldn't support the weight of any human, fireman or not.  It's really more of a tall cedar bush but I can use it to climb down from the roof at the front of the house.  It's a pretty neat shortcut but meant for cats, only.  No peeps allowed.  MOUSES!

Anyway, I went running to the peep and she scooped me up into her arms before carrying me inside and the very moment I was in her arms, I began to purr and purr and purr, unlike Tess who had growled, if you will remember.  I've found that purring for peeps makes them forget all about your having given them the runaround.  Works like a charm, every time.

Works like a charm, huh?  You know, my purring IS charming.  Really charming, for sure.  I bet had I gone to charm school, I would have passed. Perhaps I, Seville the Cat, after successfully passing charm school, could get a job as an elevator operator.

Or maybe I already have...  Maybe I already am an elevator operator after all.  I do come and go through that bathroom window as I please which may, in fact, actually be an elevator that's simply stuck at one level and therefore can't elevate.

But wait a minute.  My personal elevator wouldn't be able to elevate any more, anyway, as it's already stuck upstairs. So what's the opposite of elevate? De-elevate?  Delevate?  Nah, that's not a word.  I bet it's just something like lower or drop down.  Aw, that doesn't sound very impressive at all.  Doesn't sound nearly impressive enough for a cat like me who lives in the penthouse suite.  I think I'll leave the lowering and dropping down to the peeps.  Peep #1 appears to be especially suited to it, for sure.  MOUSES!

18 comments:

  1. What a good kitty you are to come to the Mom and then purr like crazy. We know that made her feel good. You all take good care of that Mom. Have a great evening. .

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  2. Whiskers, Matriarch of Mischief8 July 2015 at 19:37

    You, Seville, are really the funniest...I think maybe you should be elevated to awesome. What do you think, crew? Yep, they all agree with me, Sivvers.

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  3. We hope your peeps are better at the elevater tonight!

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  4. Hmmmmm Seville, weez sowry fings awen't goin' well wiff you and Andy. We sure hope fings get better. Weez sendin' purrs and purrayers yous way.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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  5. My Sister Precious enjoys her penthouse suite too, but we haven't told her about the elevator thing!

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  6. Sivvers, I like the idea of your elevator. I, of course, do not get to go outside whenever I want to. There are SCREENS on all the windows, so no climbing through.
    Good move with the purring and purring. I do that when my peep #1 picks me up as well.
    Now, somehow peace needs to be made between you and Andy, so you can also spend more time downstairs if you wish.

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  7. At least ya got a penthouse, we don't even get one of those!

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  8. Seville, we think your elevator sounds pretty awesome. And we like that you purr, purr, purr when Peep #1 picks you up. That one gets them everytime, doesn't it? :)

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  9. Well done Seville, you sure kept the Peep #1 guessing. Glad you all made it inside safe and sound.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  10. You've gotta make the humans WORK for your affection, so great job!

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  11. Wow Seville, you moving in loft circles now! I've been looking for a Levitator as apparently no need for buttons and can go any in the palace. Purrs

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  12. dood...we wuz sooooooo waitin for thiz ta bee one o thoze....ewe iz on de roof...peep iz on de ground....peep comez up two de bathroom, ewe goez two de grazz, peep goes down two de ground, ewe iz bak on de roof again....N ree peet...kinda storeez ☺☺☺

    but then de elevatorz prob a blee wooda geeted broke ore sumthin huh !!!

    enjoy yur penthouse N send sum fotoz out de penthouze view sum time.....[ burd free we hope } ♥♥♥♥

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  13. Hmmm, yous comes when yous chooses to comes, but yous makes sure yous does it before the Peep gets exasperated...then yous PURRS when yous does come, rewarding the peeps prolonged calling for yous....
    Yous one smart kitty Seville, no wonder yous invented egg beater technology!
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  14. Ohhh a penthouse huh?
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  15. Spooky likes me to carry him up and down the stairs- he calls me his Ellenvator :)
    You are correct that humans forget everything when you purr- it is like a magic eraser.

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  16. A penthouse with private access ? How cool ! We enjoyed reading on how you made your human work to finally get you. As you know, we usually speak French, and the word "delevate" sounds good to us ! Purrs

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  17. We are not allowed outdoors, but on the rare occasions we are, Zee growls when we pick him up to bring him in too. Being that he is rather like a big teddy bear, we find it quite humorous, but would never dream of telling him that! MOUSES! Purrs from the Zee/Zoey kitties

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  18. Have a super weekend...

    Noodle and crew

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