Wednesday, 20 May 2015

I'm a dude

I'm a dude.  Oh yeah, totally. Everyone says so, so it must be true. MOUSES!

It's kind of funny, in a way.  Not funny as in ha-ha and not funny as in the funny farm either.  Or maybe it is...  No, what it is, is funny in an odd sort of way but no one - and I repeat, NO ONE - is being shipped off to any kind of farm.

Well at least I'm not.  Can't speak for my fur-sibs, of course.

Or for that matter, the peeps.

Yeah, Peep #1 has had a one-way, first-class, all expenses pre-paid ticket for the funny farm for quite some time now.  I saw it tucked away in one of her dresser drawers.

Right next to her drawers.  Hehehehee....

But how does one farm humour, anyway? I mean, if a potato farm grows potatoes, should a funny farm not grow funny?  Or maybe stuff just grows funnily, with the emphasis on the ly.

Anyway, what I'm about to tell you is funny in an odd sort of way.  It's not funny that I am a dude but rather, that everyone seems to know that I am.

I guess it's true what they say.  A rose by any other name would still be a rose.  Well a dude by any other name would still be a dude even if his other name happens to be Seville.  Let me explain.

Way back when, when I first came to live with the peeps, Peep #1 started calling me, every now and then, her dude.  She would call me her Big Orange Dude or something like that.  I never really thought much about it.  After all, I am orange and being a dude seemed like an okay thing to be.

Then one day, when I was at the doctor's office, one of the nurses looked at me and called me - you guessed it - a dude!  I believe the adjective handsome was used, as well.

Now even though this was the second person to call me a dude, I still didn't think all that much about it as I was already used to Peep #1 calling me her Big Orange Dude but then the peep pointed out that even though she called me that, she had never called me that in front of the nurse.  Or any of the other nurses.  Or my doctor, either.  This nurse had just called me a dude because, I assume, I looked like a dude.

Of course, the nurse did not call me her dude which only stands to reason as I wasn't hers.  Not that I'm the peep's, either.  It's more like the peep belongs to me but that is another topic for another post, best left for another day.  MOUSES!

So then there were two.  Not two dudes.  There's only one Seville.  No, there were two people saying that I looked like a dude.  But what's two out of a few billion?

But then I took over Nerissa's blog and social media accounts and that's when things started getting funny.  Again, funny as in odd in only a very slightly humorous way but on no accounts was anyone going to take up farming in the land of the funny. Ranching, however, was a totally different matter.

Although if one could farm humour it would be a very wonderful thing.  Pretty funny, too.  MOUSES!

But as I was saying, I took over Nissy's accounts on the Internet and that's when I noticed that more and more people were calling me a dude.  Bloggers and tweeters and Facebook peeps and anipals.  In fact, at least three cats have called me a dude in the last week!  At least three!  And who knows how many others have thought it without actually typing the word.

So I thought to myself, perhaps I should check out the definition of this word, dude.  You know, just to be sure it's okay.

Luckily for me, Nissy had all those dictionaries on paw so checking out the definition of dude was easy as easy can be.

And it turns out that being called a dude is A-okay, for sure.  Well, of course, I did know that all along.  I had already deduced it.  You see, I'm a dude and I'm okay so being a dude must be okay, too.  MOUSES!

A dude refers to a person or in my case, cat, who concerns himself with clothes, grooming and manners.  At least, that was one definition.  There were several, you see.

Well I'm not too keen on the whole clothing thing but I am very much into grooming.  I groom myself daily.  And as for the manners?  I am very polite.

What's that Peepers?  Oh, that.  Yeah, well I only peed on you once.  Perhaps it wasn't the most mannerly thing to do but constantly bringing up the transgression isn't, either.  MOUSES!

But as I was saying, I am very into grooming.  I groom myself daily.  Sometimes semi-daily.  Semi-daily?  Is that twice a day or once every two days?  MOUSES!

Sometimes...

Wait a minute!  STOP THE PRESSES!  I am into clothes.  I don't wear store bought ones but the appearance of my orange fur is extremely important to me.  I always keep it sparkly clean.  And I might consider wearing additional clothes if I had access to ones that suited me.

If the peep would be so kind as to make me a little velvet forest green vest, I might consider wearing it.  Perhaps a little vest with a pocket.  And in that pocket I could keep a watch.  A pocket watch, no less.  A wrist watch would be out of the question as it might catch and pull at my fur, you see.  Plus, looking at my paws, I don't actually have any wrists.  MOUSES!

But a little gold pocket watch tucked into the pocket of a velvet green vest with some gold brocade and buttons would do quite nicely.  And, of course, I would need a cane.  No, a walking stick. Sounds so much better, don't you think?  And a hat!  A hat with a feather, perhaps.

Some might say that a dude should wear a cowboy hat and, I suppose, that really might be fitting but in all honesty, I think a hat with a feather really would look better with that velvet vest.  Velvet with a satin lining would be nice.  And since I am a dude, I'm supposed to be concerned with my appearance so really, if anyone would know it would be me.

Yes, I need a vest, a walking stick and a feathered hat.  And a pocket watch!  Dressed up like that, I would be the dappiest...  Nah, that doesn't sound right.  It actually doesn't sound very good. Dressed up like that, I'd be the MOST DAPPER of dudes in all of the land.

And speaking of land, I might also need a ranch.  While checking out the definition of dude, I came across a thing called a Dude Ranch.  Didn't really look into it all that well but it sounds pretty good.

Is dude ranching like farming funnies? Oh my gosh, do they grow dudes? MOUSES!

I should enquire further before booking a ticket, I think.

And in the meantime, I have some work to do.  Oh Peepers...  I need some help over here.  Which of these fabrics should I order on-line for you to make me a vest and should I order you up a pattern, too, or do you already have one of those?  MOUSES!

29 comments:

  1. Mew mew mew Seville yur a 'dandy' dude inn our bookss!!
    Dandy iss an OK werd allso!
    LadyMum has been callin mee DUDE since me ferst came here...sumtimess I am 'littul dude' an sumtimess I am "DUDE-ERSS"...
    Mew mew mew shee iss so funny...say maybe mee LadyMum should join yur Mumma inn a vizit to the 'Funny Farm' with all thee 'dudess ;)
    **HI-5'ss** Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=

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  2. Rondo, chatty brother at Mischief & Mayhem Central20 May 2015 at 19:56

    Dude, that was a wonderful posting... and funny farm or not... it is funny, hilarious in fact. Picturing Peep#1 making you a green velvet vest with a pocket and all is even funnier.... I can see problems arising from that task... and just the thought of it puts me in stitches. *giggles.

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  3. *gasp* ya think they grow DAPPER Dudes at those ranches, too???

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  4. Yes Seville, yous is one handsome Orange Dude and mes would LOVES to calls you My Orange Dude! Yes, especially when yous wears your green velvet vet with a pocket watch....
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  5. Seville, you are one cool dude. We can totally understand why everyone is calling you a dude!

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  6. Maybe you could start a bunny farm dude!

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  7. Seville, now if you do decide to visit a dude ranch, you will need that cowboy hat. We do like the sound of the vest and feathered hat. And green would look exceptional with your ginger furs. Hope you can get your mom to make one for you. Mouses, dude! XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  8. Oh Dude, (Seville), that would be so awesome and you would look so Dude like, not that you aren't dude like already, absolutely Forest Green, most awesome color for an orange Marmie Dude. The feather, a touching effect for Dudeness, and the walking stick, absolutely fabtaculous. Hope you can get it made soon, looking forward to the utmost in Dudeness.

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  9. Well, you *are* a big orange dude. Well, a dude-cat, right?

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  10. I wear clothes sometimes and I most certainly am NOT a dude! I'm a little lady.

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  11. I wish I was better at using the sewing machine,I would love to make you a vest. And the peep really needs to get over the peeing thing- geez :)

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  12. Oh Seville you are pretty good at this stuff! We think a Dude ranch would be a good place to go! Is it okay for us to say MOUSES, too!

    Your TX furiends,
    Samantha & Mom

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  13. You are most definitely a dude, Seville! And believe us, it is a good thing!

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  14. Hi Seville... It sounds like you will become quite the Gentlecat Dude! The new clothes will put the rest of the Senators to shame....I understand you have to have just the right sort of feather though, and not too large or too small, etiquette apparently. Purrs

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  15. MOL, I bet ya could grow dudes if anycat could.

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  16. Hi Seville, I think a vest would be great. Green.. would be a great color on you. Yes, you are a very dapper, dude!!! Love the blog. Mouses and purrs. :)

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  17. Well I sure think you are one handsome DUDE! hahaha
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  18. SEville we think you are one fine Dood!

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  19. You are a super dude!
    Please come on by our updated post and help make a child smile...today is the final day.
    www.herecomesnoodle.blogspot.com

    Thanks,

    Noodle and crew

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  20. The word "dude" suits you so well ! Yes, you're a pawsome dude ! Purrs

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  21. dood....!!! gram paw dude getted hiz name dude frum like de 90's when everee one waz a hippee fied kinda rock N roll sorta goof ball ....dood...

    even tho that's stuff most lee frum de 60's but even dude's gram paws waz knot borned then ....yet....

    but bak ta bee in a dood....yea, dood iz all bout cat a tood...N if ya haza cat a tood....ewe can bee a dood, dressed in green....

    like de color oh nip & grass green tho we wood knot recommend pants...N ya can even haz dude seville printed on yur watch vest pocket; then yur mom N de galz at de vetz wood bee all like...yea....dude.....

    { just noe burd skin on yur hat pleez } MOUSES ♥♥

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  22. You are a handsome dude Seville, and green is the very best colour for orange dudes.

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  23. Seville, green is just so your colour!!! As for the dude thing!! What can I say? It takes one to know one, eh!! MOL ;)

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  24. Seville, all we know for sure is our mom bean sighs with happiness every time she sees your handsome self.

    Furry thought provoking post...we wonder too, how does one farm funny? Mom bean needs some extra.

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  25. U are really cute! :)

    Luv, Angel Keisha and Murphy the Poodle

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  26. Yep you're a dude alright Seville and a very Dandy one at that,xx Speedy

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  27. We think you are most certainly "handsome", too!
    >>giggles<< from the girlcats

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  28. Seville! Dude!
    The Dad calls me his "Cat Dude." I have to say that I think it is something about being a Dapper and Well Groomed Orange Man Cat that just triggers Dude to the lips of peeps and purrs alike. I include all anipals of course, Mouses.
    Can you let me know about that vest as I feel a green is a bit much fur myself but possibly a nice Purple with Pink lining. As you know Real Man Cat Dudes can wear Pink.
    Your Dude Pal
    Timmy

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I love hearin' from my pals. I absolutely LOVE it! Just saying...