Sunday, 19 April 2015

the cheekiness of squirrels

It has come to my attention that the mainstream news outlets have been remiss in their coverage of a very important story.

Hmmm...  Been remiss? That may be a bit of an understatement.  A very big understatement, in fact.  They haven't been coverin' this breaking story at all!  Crazy, that is.  Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kinda crazy, for sure.

Yes, my friends, we are talking 'bout squirrels.  MOUSES!

All I can say is, thank goodness for Twitter.

Havin' been in contact with several pals from around the world, it has come to my attention that this issue at paw is of international importance.  An epidemic of global proportions and yet, like I said, the mainstream news has completely ignored the phenomenon.  The phenomenon that is, the cheekiness of squirrels.  MOUSES!

Pals from the United Kingdom and the United States of America are reportin' that squirrels in their nations are actin' cheekily.  Only a matter of time before they start actin' all squirrelly, too.

I, Nerissa the Cat, reportin' from right here in Nova Scotia, Canada, can attest to the fact that Canadian squirrels are followin' global trends and bein' cheeky, as well.

And the cause of all this cheekiness?  As of yet, scientists don't know.  Further observation is needed and more data is required however one theory is that squirrels throughout the northern hemisphere are all suffering from a serious case of spring fever.  The other workin' theory is that... Well...  That they're squirrels.  They're just squirrels bein' squirrels and actin' all cheeky.  MOUSES!

You know, squirrels are kinda known for their cheekiness.  They get away with a lot of it on account of their cuteness.  Their cuteness factor per ounce outweighs most species.  Hard to stay angry with a squirrel no matter how cheeky he gets.

A couple weeks ago, I had a squirrel come right up to my office window.  RIGHT UP TO THE WINDOW!  He was lookin' in and spyin' on me and whatnot.  He even tapped on it.  Morse Code, I do believe but it was all messed up so that I couldn't understand him.  Squirrel Morse Code is different from normal Morse Code, you see.  Squirrels just tap out gibberish thinkin' cats and peeps can read their minds.  Bunch of dashes and dots makin' no sense at all.  Whatever he was sayin', it all sounded Greek to me.

Then just yesterday, I was lookin' out that very same window and I thought, for a moment, that I was seein' an unfamiliar cat.  That's right folks, I thought I saw a puddy cat.

Turned out to be a really big squirrel, instead.  MOUSES!

Yes, those cheeky squirrels here in Nova Scotia are big.  They're of the big grey variety.  We used to have little red guys and some folks still do but at my house, the grey ones have invaded and taken over.  Haven't seen a red squirrel in over a year.  MOUSES!

A word of advice.  Whatever you do, always approach a cheeky squirrel with caution.  You don't wanna get 'em upset.  You don't wanna make 'em angry.  You don't wanna give 'em reason to fight.

Those big grey squirrels will sit up on the branches of an oak tree and start hurlin' acorns down at you.  The acorns will rain down upon your head.  You ever witness a scene like that?  I have and let's just say, Peep #1 needed a couple Aspirin after the fact.

Unfortunately, the peeps 'round here have angered the squirrel population and they're demandin' their voices be heard.

Did I say peeps?  Actually, I meant peep.  It was Peep #1 to be exact.

Yesterday afternoon was a lovely sunny day here in the valley and the peep headed outside with a saw in her paw.  It's just a little saw that she has.  Can't trust her with anythin' much bigger but you'd be surprised at the amount of chaos she's capable of causin' with the little one she has.

So the peep headed out to the front of the yard and started whackin' away at the lower branches of some spruce trees.  Makin' way for the plantin' of more primroses, I do believe.  The primrose bed in question is still partially covered in snow which is a whole other story but back to the spruce trees, the peep and her saw.

She sawed and she sawed and she sawed, removing the lower four feet or so of branches.  I checked it out afterwards and have to admit that it looks pretty good.  Well it does to me but to the squirrels?  They are of an entirely different opinion.

The squirrels arrived this morning in full force.  "Where are our branches?" they loudly demanded.

I tried to come to Peep #1's defence, pointing out to the squirrels that those particular branches were not zoned for residential use as they were too close to the ground.  It's a cat zone.  Squirrels should never build in cat zones as the insurance premiums are far too costly.

But the squirrels weren't listenin'.  They claim they never intended to build homes in that area but rather, that those branches were part of their transportation network.  Access roads to their superhighways and whatnot. Who knew that squirrels had access roads?  MOUSES!

Long story short, the peep has got the squirrel community all riled up.  Only a matter of time before this thing escalates.  Only a matter of time before the peep, once again, falls prey to a squirrelly acorn attack.

And will I, Nerissa the Cat, come to her defence?

Probably not.  I saw the last one and although not pretty, it was definitely entertainin'.  Remind me to order in a cheesy nip pizza and some nipbrewskis for the occasion.  Gonna be prime time Squirrel TV, for sure.  MOUSES!

                    **********************************************************

Please remember that throughout the month of April, a portion of all sales of the book Rescued: The Stories of 12 Cats, Through Their Eyes will go to the wonderful Anjellicle Cats Rescue of New York, helpin' them to help save cats' lives.  You can purchase your very own copy at your local book store or on Amazon by clicking right HERE.  You'll wanna stock up for holiday gift-giving, for sure.  PURRS.




40 comments:

  1. We haz some crazy cheeky skwerrils here too - dey taunt us right outside all da time.

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  2. Our cheeky squirrels spend all their cheeky time trying to defeat the squirrel baffle on the bird feeder. And often being successful! They are very determined animals. Try try try again.
    Re the cuteness factor, I have to put in a vote for the chipmunks. Way cuter per gram, and not as cheeky.

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    1. Chipmunks ARE cute, for sure. That's one of the reasons I kept inviting 'em over for dinner, last year. Of course, the peep did her best to put a stop to that. purrs

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  3. We only see the little buggers when we visit nanny's house, otherwise it's just birds that come and crap on the balcony haha

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    1. You have a lot of birds? Good Bird TV at your place? purrs

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  4. Ah, those squirrels. They are all EBIL. Big, little, red, gray, whatever, they are all mad as hatters. Squirrelly hatters.

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    1. How 'bout squirrelly mad hatters? That work for you? purrs

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  5. Big grey squirrels the size of cats?! That was me Nissy, spying on you! Kidding! Fun post...I really miss cheeky squirrels, we don't have any at Headquarters!

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    1. You were here? And you didn't stop by for a nipbrewski? Awww... MOUSES!

      No Squirrel TV where you live? You'll have to visit me, for sure, and we'll kick back and watch some in prime time. purrs

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  6. Our squirrels are nuts MOL! Seriously, they eat out of the feral food bowls sometimes. Hope you are doing okay Nissy, we've been thinking about you pal.

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    1. Nutty squirrels... Kinda goes with the territory, I should think. purrs

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  7. Send a few to us, Nissy. No Squirrels come high enough for us to watch Squirrel TV! We get the odd raccoon climbing the brick exterior but none have visited us yet! great blog, we'll share when Grammy gets home!

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    1. Your rockies climb higher than the squirrels? MOUSES! purrs

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  8. The cheeky squirrels here try to get into the bird feeder...we had to buy special feed that they don't like. They also eat all of Mom's avocados from her tree.....BAD Squirrels.
    The Florida Furkids

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    1. I don't think the squirrels have ever done damage to the garden. Rockies do, though. Yup, rockies do, for sure. purrs

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  9. I don't trust those squirrels! Fortunately, my human does little outdoors and stays out of their way.

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  10. We have almost no Squirrels here in Switzerland. I think I've seen 3 in the 4 years I've been here.

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    1. Wow. I didn't realize you didn't have 'em. How 'bout chippies. You have those? purrs

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  11. We'd love some cheeky Canuck squirrels. I've only seen one since the thaw and wondered if they all headed to Florida.

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    1. Let me see... Yup, I do! I have enough air miles to book a couple seats for some Canuck squirrels on the very next flight. purrs

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  12. We don't really have squirrels in this yard, but we sure did when we lived in the green house in Portland! We LOVED our squirrel TV! Mommy used to feed the squirrels from her hand when she was in elementary school. Even now, the ones in the neighborhood where she grew up are human-friendly! Of course, they're not pets, and you can't touch them, but they're fun conversationalists!

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    1. Yup, ours talk a lot, too. Very hard to understand though. Half the time when they're talkin', their mouths are full of nuts. purrs

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  13. We have lots of those squirrelly dudes here too Nissy.......all shapes and sizes.....I know some people call them "tree rats" but I quite enjoy watching their acrobatics out there. They are very clever - maybe TOO clever sometimes. Worth keeping an eye on them though - they may be ORGANIZING.

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. Tree rats? That's kinda mean, I think. They're cute little guys, for sure, and don't really do any harm except, of course, when they're annoyed and hurl acorns at your head. Luckily for me, I don't annoy 'em. I leave that up to the peeps. purrs

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  14. Not got any cheeky squirrels, but our squirrel is just plain nuts! Hmm I wonder if that is a phase before or after cheeky? and is it contagious! I wonder if he's been on the Nip?

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    1. Hmmm... After, I think. Your squirrel must have skipped the cheeky phase and gone straight for nutty. purrs

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  15. The squirrels in Massachusetts are cheeky too. They think they can steal the bird seed. They tell all their friends and one will become 5 in a few days. To quote from a tv show, "squirrels are just rats in cuter outfits."

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    1. Yeah, the squirrel - bird competition can be fierce, for sure. purrs

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  16. haha those darn squirrels!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. Yup, that's one way of puttin' it, for sure. purrs

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  17. Uh oh, now she's gone and done it. You've probably got a budding squirrel rebellion on your hands.... er, paws.

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  18. We don't have many squirrels here in Switzerland. Purrs

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  19. And we thought bird TV was good...

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  20. The squirrels here obviously got that cheekiness memo, too, Nissy. They are little crazies, for sure!

    Hey, how are you feeling? We've been thinking about you lots.

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  21. I have just come across your blog via Bloglovin'. It's wonderful!

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  22. No squirrels here, thank goodness, not grey or red. We saw a red squirrel once on the Isle of Wight, they are quite rare but people are trying to encourage them as the grey ones have mostly taken over in the UK, and they are indeed cheeky.

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  23. We have lots of gymnastic squirrels hanging off the "squirrel proof" bird feeders! The birds are wimps and should be chasing them away. Mickey Mouser would love to help them, but they ignore his chattering lectures from the windows.
    Hope you are feeling well, Nissy dear.
    xxoo

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  24. Mee-you yur Mumma iss feerless Nerissa...takin away squirrel access may come back to bite her fur sure!!! Mew mew mew...
    There used to bee tall Ceder an Pine treess here butt they were cut down a month befur mee came here. Now there are onlee treess bye thee road way...
    Thee squirrelss live inn thee backyard of thee place now an wee not see any up front :(
    Wee has black oness onlee! There are a few red oness butt they moved away LadyMum told mee.
    there iss supposed to bee chipmunkss butt mee not see one yet....or rabbittss...
    It iss like they all packed up an moved to Nova Scotia.....
    **nose bumpss** Siddhartha Henry xxxx

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  25. My squirrels provide immense entertainment for TKS and me. They bury the peanuts we feed them in the flower pots right in front of our largest Outdoor Life TV channel. Then they come back forgetting which pot and so dig in all of them. They are not very bright

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