Wednesday, 7 January 2015

I am resolved

I wasn't gonna do the ol' New Year's resolutions thing, this year, as it didn't work out so well for me, last year.  I made resolutions, all right.  I made a few of 'em.  Thing is, I didn't keep any of 'em.  In fact, some of 'em I broke the very day I made 'em. Some of 'em I broke in the very post I wrote 'em down in, in the first place!

Remember how I made a New Year's resolution to shorten up my blog posts a bit so that I wasn't writin' the next great Canadian novel twice a week, every week?  Well that didn't happen.  If anythin', my posts are even longer than before.  Oh well.  As they say...  MOUSES!

But then I realised that I could still do somethin' with this ol' resolution business.  A few broken New Year's resolutions shouldn't stop me from makin' some more.  I've just gotta make better resolutions.

I'm thinkin'...  Nap more, imbibe in the nip more and make my blog posts however long I wanna make 'em.  After all, it is my blog.  I should get to decide how long I wanna make my posts.  I don't think anyone else should be makin' those kinds of decisions for me, at all.

Yup, I'm thinkin' I can keep those New Year's Resolutions, for sure.

But then I thought to myself, why stop there?  Since I was making such great - and easily kept - resolutions for myself, why not make up a few New Year's resolutions for the rest of my family? When you're on a roll, best to keep on rollin', if you know what I mean.

So without further ado, I present to you, my family's resolutions for the New Year.

I'm thinkin' that Mason should take up knittin' this year.  She enjoys workin' with yarn and she has those thumbs.  She's the only one of us kitties with thumbs so clearly, she's the most likely to succeed with knittin'.  And once she gets really good at it, she can start knittin' up some biff bags and mice which I can then fill with the nip.  Could provide an additional avenue of income once I've got my nip farm up and running.  I'm always thinkin' on my paws, I am.

Tobias needs to resolve to get monthly manicures done.  Although no longer a kitten, Toby has always remained kitten sized.  She's super tiny.  But her claws are super sharp.  Sharp like a kitten's.   Those claws don't bother me too much but the noises the peeps make when she climbs up their legs, do.  Ever hear Peep #1 squeal?  Like claws scapin' down a blackboard, my friends. Claws scrapin' down a blackboard!  And that's on a good day.  On a bad day it's like...  like...  hm...  I can't even describe it as the noise is so horribly horrific.  MOUSES!

I do believe that Seville's resolution should be to not pee on the peep.  To be fair, he only did it once this year but to be honest, once was probably one time too many.  Let's just say, Peep #1 was not amused.  There were blackboard squeals to be heard around the world and everythin'.

Rushton needs to learn how to open doors.  He's very mechanical-minded when it comes to things like that so I think he has a real shot at it.  Rushy already knows how to open the window in the kitchen provided that the peeps haven't planked it with that long wooden plank they install every night, preventin' him from openin' up the window and lettin' us all out.  The back door has a lever kind of handle which should be pretty easy to open.  And Rushton is a really big boy so standin' on his hind legs, he has both the height and weight, necessary.  He can easily reach the lever and if he leans back while holdin' onto it, the door will open right up.  All he really has to work on is flickin' down that little do hickey thingy that locks the door.  I think he can do it, for sure.

But if Rushton fails on the door openin' front, perhaps I'll use some of the proceeds from my nip farmin' business and my investments in nip futures - once I figure out exactly how to invest in that futuristic nip - to buy him a saw.  With a saw, he can saw that ol' plank in half and just open the kitchen window whenever he likes.  The window works just as well  as a door for us cats, you see.

The latest addition to my fur-fam is Anderson.  I'm thinkin' Andy should resolve to take up baking. He has paws the size of a large dog, pony or a very small - hm...  medium-sized - Sasquatch and he's always usin' those paws to knead.  You should see him.  He appears to need to knead.  He even kneads the air!  It's true.  He'll lie on his back and his front paws will be up in the air, kneadin' and kneadin' away.  What he's kneadin', nobody knows but for sure he's kneadin' somethin'.  Instead of kneadin' invisible whatever it is he's kneadin', he could be kneadin' bread.  Nip bread, to be exact. Once my nip farm is up and runnin', I can provide the nip and Andy can perfect his recipe.  And that will be another avenue of revenue for my nip farm.  MOUSES! I'm good.

My sister Constance needs to resolve to speak up more.  She only ever gets the peeps' attention when they're lookin' right at her 'cause when she opens up her mouth to meow, most of the time, all that comes out is...  well...  nothin'. To be honest, she does appear to have perfected the silent meow.  To be really honest, her silent meows are far easier on the ears than the sound of Peep #1 squealing but that is to be expected, for sure.  But the problem with silent meows is that they're silent.  No one can hear you.  As a result, Connie sometimes misses out on stuff and, occasionally gets accidentally locked on the other side of a closed door with no way to let the peeps know she's there and wantin' out. She has just gotta learn how to speak up more.  She has just gotta!

And speakin' of noises, I have a resolution for my Auntie Primrose, too.  Auntie Primrose has no issues with makin' noise.  Others might have issues listenin' to that noise but that's their problem and not hers.  But I'm thinkin' that Primrose could make better use of the noises she makes.  Why holler at the peeps when they're already up?  Better to holler at 'em to wake 'em up.  When the sun is up and the peeps are not, we have a problem on our paws.  Our tummies wake up with the sun, you see, so it's very important that the peeps get up then, too.  Tummies are waitin' for breakfast and breakfast can't be served until you have peeps up and about, servin' it.  I'm thinkin' that Auntie Primrose needs to resolve to holler right in Peep #1's face every mornin' with the risin' of the sun. That should do the trick, for sure.

And last but not least, we have Tess.  I was thinkin' that Tess should resolve to growl less but then I thought better of that.  After all, growlin' at the weather, uncooperative peeps and imaginary enemies is what Tess does best.  It's part of her personality, you see.  Wouldn't wanna change that.

So instead of growlin' less, I think Tess needs to growl more.  After the Sir Fartsalot incident, we cats have been somewhat restricted when it comes to yummy stuff like butter and my sister, Tess, is a real butter fiend.  She loves the stuff!  I'm thinkin' that more growlin' could lead to better butter access and better butter access will be needed once Anderson starts bakin' up that nip bread, for sure.  Nothin' beats a pat of butter on a nice slice of warm nip bread.

And if Tess' additional growls don't get us more butter, perhaps Rushton can learn how to open the refrigerator door.  It's a heavy door but unlike the back door, never locked, so I'm pretty sure that if he leans back with all his seventeen pounds, he should be able to pull it open.  Granted, a good pound or two of his weight is nothin' but floofy fur but still, he should be able to open that door. Then Tess can hop on his back and swipe a pound of butter or two.  Actually, considerin' Rushton's size, he can probably just stand up on his hind legs and swipe that butter, himself.  Did I mention that Rushy was a pretty big boy?  Part Maine Coon, I do believe.

I'm leavin' the peeps out of this whole resolution thingy 'cause let's face it, they're even worse at keepin' resolutions than I.  Of course, if I were to make a few resolutions for 'em I would resolve that they spend more time cuddlin' with us, spend more time playin' with us and spend less time makin' up stupid rules for us.  And I'd also resolve that Peep #1 finally gets that silly ol' book of hers in print so that I'm not the only published author in the family.  Gettin' a little lonely with only my stuff bein' read and all.  Sometimes, I almost feel sorry for the peep but then I remember that if her book isn't done yet, that's all on her.  I do my best to give her a good hour or so of computer time, every day.   Not my fault if she's not makin' the best use of it.  MOUSES!

So there you have it.  My New Year's resolutions for 2015.  Paws crossed that everyone can keep 'em this year.  Last year was a pretty dismal failure on the resolutions front.

64 comments:

  1. Nissy, it is always a good thing to make resolutions for other cats rather than for yourself. And you came up with some good ones!

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    1. I think so, too. Resolutions for OTHERS are easier for ME to keep. purrs

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  2. Nerissa, Binga tried making resolutions for the rest of us, and so far it hasn't gone very well! But then, she mostly focused on the humans.

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    1. And humans don't do all that well with the resolutions thing. They make 'em. Just can't keep 'em, you see. purrs

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  3. Sounds like some pretty good ones to me.

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    1. I think so, too! I'm particularly pleased with the nip involvement in those resolutions, this year. purrs

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  4. Well Nissy you sure have made some grreat resolutions for your self and for your fursibs too !

    I keep my paws crossed you get that Nip Farm up and running this year !!

    XOXO

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    1. I plan on it. As soon as I get my full-grown plants, my farm will be up and runnin', for sure! purrs

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  5. These resolutions are sure tricky things, aren't they? Good luck with all of yours.

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    1. Best part is, most of 'em need to be kept by the other cats. Hehehehee... purrs

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  6. dood...we enjoy reedin yur blog storeez....keep up de grate werk; mason, want we shuld send ewe sum yarn, we noe wear sum iz stashed in de houz, toby, keep yur clawz sharp N black boardin....may come in handee at say...3:19 in de am.....ore if de alarm doez knot werk, seville..ROCK ON DOOD; rushton; while we canna give anee add vize bout openin doors, we can tell ya how ta keep peepz frum comin IN, andy, if de bakin biznezz failz, therz all ways pizza piez ☺, connie; I am soo with you on this; hugs girl from dai$y ♥, primrose; if a holler doez knot werk a toes in de eye will due de trix everree time, tess, eye got 90,376 wayz ta steel butter; they due knot call me butter lover for nothin ~~~ boomer

    happee 2015 guys ~~

    ♥♥♥

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    1. Nip pizza! Why didn't I think of that??? purrs

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  7. Good Luck. Weez sure hope yous can keep yous new years wesolutions. sum of them fur sure wuld be a good idea. Weez not make 'em so weez can't bweak 'em. MOL Hav a pawsum day and stay warm.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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    1. The ones I made for myself will be pretty easy to keep. The ones for the others.... purrs

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  8. Good for you pal! I only made one resolution and that was to not make any resolutions. So far, so good.

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  9. Those are great resolutions! Maybe you can come live at our house for awhile and help us all find out what we need to make resolutions about next year!

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    1. Oohhh... Stand by. Sivvers! PREPARE THE TELEPORATION DEVICE. Be there in a jiffy. purrs

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  10. Happy New Year Nissy!

    Noodle and crew

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    1. And a VERY Happy New Year to you, too! purrs

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  11. Those are great resolutions, but I would enjoy it if you blogged more than twice a week.

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    1. Hmmm... Peep #1 would have to give up her daily one hour allotment of computer time if I were to do that. purrs

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  12. We just ignore those things humans call resolutions, as they make them and don't keep them. So we won't make them and not keep them, saving the extra time for a nap.

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    1. Of course, you COULD resolve to take more naps! purrs

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  13. I not making no durn rezolushuns, Niss. I gonna fly by the seat of my floofy tail through 2015. Making plans, and lists, and promises didn't wurk for me in 2014. So hiss on it! Happy Mew Year!

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    1. Happy New Year, to you, too! Wish my tail was floofy like yours. You've got one great-lookin' tail. Mine is just plain. purrs

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  14. Smart! That's what you are, Nissy. Making resolutions for the other cats is just brilliant.

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    1. Yup, best kind to make 'cause they'll be super easy for ME to keep. purrs

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  15. We decided since we NEVER keep 'em - this year we won't even MAKE 'em - resolutions that is......now we won't be disappointed in ourselves! Good luck to you with yours though Nissy........if anyone can keep 'em it's YOU!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. Well... the ones I made for ME are pretty easy so I'm confident I'll be able to do 'em. Hopin' the rest of my fur-fam can do the same. purrs

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  16. BOL!
    Resolutions are not for me! Just sets myself up for failure ;)
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. How 'bout makin' a resolution to play more or somethin' like that? purrs

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  17. All those resolutions seem perfectly plausible to me. Spot on Nissy

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    1. Yup, I've already managed to write one super-long blog post. Off to a great start, for sure! purrs

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  18. I would say there is a good chance of at least one hundred and twenty purrcent of these great resolutions being kept fur the year. Maybe a hundred thirty even!

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    1. Wow! That would be a super high success rate, for sure. EXCELLENT. purrs

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  19. Impressive list! Mes thinks that yous is so wonderful for making resolutions! Mes has gived upon them.
    Kisses
    Nellie

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    1. Bet you could EASILY keep a New Year's resolution resolvin' to be the wonderful cat that is you. Bein' wonderful is SO EASY for you to do! purrs

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  20. This is the first year for resolutions for us. We'll have to wait to see how we do. Good luck with yours and those you have made for your furmily. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. I am especially lookin' forward to imbibin' in more nip. purrs

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  21. Nissy, I think these resolutions are definitely doable!

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    1. Me too. I'm workin' on 'em, already. purrs

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  22. That is very thoughtful of you to think up all those great resolutions for the rest of your family.

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    1. I agree. Now if I could only get them to agree, too... purrs

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    1. I'll find some and post 'em on my FB page. I'll do that right now! purrs

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  24. M loves that picture on the bottom. Looks like you are giving someone the Raspberry! he he Love your resolutions! I'm not setting any cuz I don't keep them anyway.

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    1. I made sure to make easy ones for myself. purrs

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  25. How nice that you made all those resolutions...for everybuddy else! We hope they cooperate and keep them. But don't count on it.

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    1. Easiest kind for me to keep! purrs

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  26. Hehehe that was very nice of you to make those Resolutions for everybody,I don't bother with that sort of thing as I just do whatever I want to do whenever I want,xx Speedy

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    1. You're one wise bunny, Speedy. Very wise, indeed. purrs

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  27. We hope you had a great New Year!
    We don't make resolutions but we sure wish our human did--like to give us more treats...that sort of thing.
    Purrs,
    the kitty brats

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    1. That would be one of the best resolutions a peep could make, EVER. purrs

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  28. Nobody does resolutions in this house, we change our minds too often ! I know why you insist on knitting it's only because you can play then with the wool balls !

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    1. Well... The best part of knittin' IS the yarn. purrs

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  29. That's really cool making resolutions for everyone.

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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    1. Well they hadn't made any for themselves so.... purrs

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  30. We missed Tobias out of your family...she sounds like a cutie...a cutie with sharp nails! We'd like to see Mason take up knittin' too! And Constance and the silent meow...we are big fans of the silent meow and find it most adorable! Great resolutions you made for the gang, Nissy!

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    1. You didn't know 'bout Toby? Yup, she was a truly feral kitty for quite a while. Peeps got her in a few years ago and then she lived in the basement for a few months. She's part of the family now. purrs

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