Sunday, 30 November 2014

not takin' the blame for this one

I just want the world to know, right here and right now...  I am not takin' the blame for this one. MOUSES!

Christmas is right around the corner so you can imagine what Ol' Peepers is up to.  She's up to her elbows in yarn, she is. That's right, Peep #1 has been playin' with yarn. Sure, she calls it knittin' but we all know the truth. She's playin' with the stuff and what's more, she doesn't appear to be sharin', either.  Every time I try to help, she refuses my assistance.

So I get a little slobber on the yarn.  What's a little slobber amongst family and friends?  MOUSES!

What's that, Peepers?  You don't like knittin' whatever you're knittin' when all of a sudden you come across a section of the yarn that's all covered in slobber?  What can I say, Peepers?  Love me, love my slobber.  Besides, we all know you're just playin' with that yarn, anyway.

Someone should tell the peep that it's not nice to hog all the toys.  She ought to learn how to share.

Now before anyone gets their knickers all twisted, my peeps do know that allowin' cats to play with yarn, unsupervised, is a very dangerous practise.  Cats can eat the yarn and it gets all tangled up in their intestines and whatnot and causes all sorts of problems that may require surgery and can, in fact, cause death.  Peeps should never leave yarn lyin' about.  Never.  Not ever.  Not under any circumstances.

But I don't wanna eat the yarn.  I just want to play with it and I'm willin' to do it under the peep's supervision.  I really just wanna slobber over the part of the yarn that's movin' on account of the peep's knittin'.  Knittin'...  playin'...  whatever.  Apparently, I'm not even allowed to do that.  Like I said, the peep isn't sharin' her toys.  She's a toy hog, for sure.  MOUSES!

And speakin' of twisted knickers...  I, of course, don't wear underwear on account of my bein' a cat so I have no knickers to twist.

As as a short-haired cat, my fur doesn't even resemble knickers but I can't say the same for Tess, Rushton and Anderson.  Those long-haired fur-sibs of mine look like they're wearin' knickers, for sure.  Knickers...  bloomers...  whatever.  The fur on their back legs is all poofy and whatnot and sometimes, it even gets twisted.  Yup, they can get the mats if they don't allow Peep #1 to comb 'em.  Happens with long-haired cats, you see.

And Tess...  What can I say 'bout my sister Tess?  Tess, bein' Tess, gets her knickers twisted all the time.  Sometimes with mats but mostly on account of her grumpy personality which surfaces whenever Peep #1 wants to comb her.  Actually, the grumpiness doesn't really surface.  It's pretty much there all the time.  Just gets worse when the peep wants to comb her or somethin' like that. Peep loves her anyway, grumps and growls and all.

But I digress.  Back to the yarn and the peep's inability to share her toys.  MOUSES!

So Peep #1 has been doin' some knittin', gettin' ready for Christmas and whatnot.  She does this sort of thing every year 'bout this time.  Mainly, she makes things like nip mice on account of her part-time elfin' job for Santa.  She knits up the mice and stuffs 'em with nip.  Then Rudolf picks 'em up for transport to the North Pole where the elves wrap the nip mice so that Santa can deliver 'em back to us for Christmas.  Yes, it's true.  Santa Clause uses out-sourcing.  MOUSES!

Seems like a lot of extra transportation and whatnot, if you ask me.  I mean, those nip mice are made at my house but have to go all the way to the North Pole for repackaging before bein' brought back to me. But I guess if you're usin' flyin' reindeer who will fly for carrots and cookies, transportation costs are pretty cheap.  At least, that's what I'm assuming.

Anywho...  Peep #1 has been elfin'.  Yup, she has been knittin' up the ol' nip mice.  But then the other day, she started knittin' somethin' else.  No way, no how, was this new thing gonna be a nip mouse.  Far too big for your standard nip mouse plus, it was filled with holes.  The peep says it's lace but let's be real here and call it what it is.  I, Nerissa the Cat, am willin' to call a spade a spade and, in this case, call a hole a hole.  The whole thing is covered in holes! She must have dropped some stitches or somethin'.

Yes, I know about stitches.  I know all about how when a I jump on Peep #1's lap when she's playin' with her yarn, she tells me I'm makin' her drop her stitches.  Better stitches than britches is all I've gotta say.

But back to the piece of knittin' with all the holes.  Once cannot stuff a nip mouse with nip if said nip mouse is filled with holes on account of all the nip falling out of those holes.  A nip mouse without any nip is simply a mouse.  Simply a knitted. fake mouse with no nip.  Not good.  Not good at all. Not good for anythin' except, perhaps, sendin' the peep off on a reconnaissance mission to find all those lost stitches that fell through all those holes.  Any nip that fell out, I'll take care of myself. MOUSES!

The peep says what she's kittin' is some kind of scarf or somethin'.  Personally, I'm still goin' with failed nip mouse but whatever...

So the scarfy thing that's covered in holes was bein' worked on last night when suddenly, Peep #1 cried out, "MOUSES!"  Yup, that's exactly what she said.  She was havin' a mouses moment for sure.

Apparently, knitted into the butter yellow scarfy thing, was a strand of hair.

Now I should just point out that butter yellow yarn does not taste like butter.  I know this to be fact 'cause I slobbered over a bit of said yarn when the peep wasn't lookin'.  Had to do it.  Had to be sure the peep wasn't playin' with butter.

But back to the scarf and the peep's cry of distress.  Knitted into the scarfy thing, was a strand of long, brown hair.  I immediately recognised the hair in question and said, "Way to go, Peepers. You're sheddin'."

Now truth be told, I have been known to get my fur on stuff around the house and some of that stuff has been Peep #1's knittin'.  Every now and then, the peep will come across a sterling silver - some say platinum - hair that is clearly one of mine.  What can I say?  Love me, love my fur.  I say it to the peeps, all the time.

But this particular hair that was knitted into the knittin' was not sterling silver like my fur.  It was brown.  Just plain ol' brown with a touch of gold.  The colour was all wrong to be one of mine.  Plus, it was way too long.  It was even too long to belong to one of my long-haired sibs with the knickers.

Yes, this hair clearly belonged to my first peep.  Colour and length were both a match. Obviously, Ol' Peepers here is sheddin'.  Hope she doesn't shed too much 'cause let me tell you, the bald look would not be a good look on her, at all.

So the peep had to get out the teeny-tiny scissors and some tweezers and do some finicky kind of stuff to get rid of that ol' hair, knitted in with the yarn.  Did you know that doin' delicate, finicky stuff like that causes peeps to use language unbecoming of peeps?  Suffice it to say, it does.

I sat and watched the peep workin' with the tiny scissors and the tweezers.  She was obviously in need of some supervision.  I suggested that while she was at it, perhaps she could locate the missing stitches and patch up some of those holes so that the scarfy thing could, in fact, be used to hold nip.  My suggestions were ignored.


I also made a point of pointing out that the hair causin' all the peep's troubles was not mine.  No way, no how, was I was takin' the blame for this one.  It's true, I might be partially responsible for the vacuum coughin' up a hairball or two but this particular hair came from the head of none other than the first peep.

Does undue stress cause peeps to shed?  Hmmm...  If so, I actually might be more responsible for the hair in question than originally thought....

MOUSES!

80 comments:

  1. oh dear Nissy she should at least cut a length off for you to play with while being supervised,xx Speedy

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    1. Apparently, she's not willin' to share any of her yarn, at all. MOUSES! purrs

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  2. Nissy, do you know what is really really the worst thing about when the peeps knit? Do ya? It's the needles! The click click click drives me bananas, so I jump up and try to take them away!! The Granstaff person thinks I want to play with them, but really I want to just get her to stop!! MOL xox

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    1. You don't like those? I love playin' with the needles. Sometimes, Peep #1 will play with me with 'em but I'm only allowed to play with the ends that aren't pointed. purrs

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  3. Nissy, you ought to be allowed to slobber to your heart's content, and then the Peep could wash the knitted things to freshen them up nicely before gifting them.

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    1. Oohhhh... Now THERE'S a thought. I'm gonna mention that to the peep, for sure. Thanks! purrs

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    2. I would think that yarn and slobber go together!

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    3. For sure! FOR SURE! Like ham and eggs or nip and cheese! purrs

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  4. Nissy, have to tell you MY momma was skiing a lot reading your words here. And I agree with Simba, slobber all you want to on anything you want to and she should e GRATEFUL! It's Nissy spit! Like gold!!!

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    1. Nissy spit... Hmmm... Wonder if there could be a market for somethin' like that. purrs

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  5. 'scuze me if I made an error. Can't see the comment till it's ready and mommy made me press send before she helped me proof it. xoxoxo

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    1. No probs, Katie. The comment moderation thing makes it difficult, I know. I'm super sorry 'bout that. Really, I am. But I've gotta keep ol' spammy away, you know? purrs

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  6. Same here. We always want to help with the knitting, but the human won't let us! Humans are so mean, aren't they!? (*pouts*) MOL ;) Have a wonderful day, sweetie! :) And thanks so much for following us. We just started following you too. xx Roxy & Tigerlino <3

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    1. They ARE mean, those peeps. I should ask Santa for my own ball of yarn and some needles, too. You think I might get 'em? purrs

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  7. Hey, we gotta agree with Brian here! We hope your peeps read these comments for educational purposes.

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    1. I should print 'em out an post 'em on the refrigerator, I think. purrs

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  8. Everything my momma knits has dog and cat hair in it. It adds texture and variety I says!

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    1. Hmmm... So a stray cat hair here and there would be kind of like 'added value,' huh? I LIKE THAT! I like that a lot. purrs

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  9. Dear Nissy.You just get better and better.Peep#1 shedding ,scarves with holes what ever next. oh.and your sibs wearing knickers!lol.I allowed MY cat to play with the yarn!Love and Purrs SheenaXX

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    1. Love and purrs right back at ya, Sheena! Yeah, some of my fur-sibs look like they're wearin' knickers. Hehehehee... purrs

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  10. Mommy wouldn't even know how to begin to knit and I'm safe from all of this :) --Truffles

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    1. That may be for the best 'cause not slobberin' over the yarn is just way too hard. MOUSES! purrs

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  11. WE think those items that the peeps is knitting is way more valuable with Nissy slobber on it. What could be better.
    Just our opinion. You all have a great evening.

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    1. Like I said... Love me, love my slobber. purrs

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  12. We think a bit of furs and slobber make the mice or scarf or whatever your human knits, extra desirable and unique! :)

    the critters in the cottage xo

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    1. That's what I'm thinkin', too. The peep should be PAYIN' me to slobber on her yarn. MOUSES! purrs

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  13. So you're innocent... this time?

    Don't worry, Nissy, if you need some help chasing off those dog walking neighbors, we'll send Jan over to yell at them. :)

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    1. Oohhh... That would be great! I think Ol' Peepers could use the help. Thanks for loanin' out your Jan. purrs

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  14. haha nice little off track about knickers, glad we don't wear any of those. Not even the human lol Pfffft you should get some to play with. Not sharing is just rude. A little slobber makes it all the more slick

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    1. Yeah, I'm glad I don't wear knickers, too. I mean, there's the whole issue of my tail, you know? Where would I put it? purrs

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  15. We think slobber makes things soooo much nicer!!

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. Me too. Now I've just gotta get the peep on board with this. purrs

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  16. Mummy Janey says that if we are naughty she will knit us sweaters to wear...Heck no! We'll look like Ron Weasley from Harry Potter!
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxxx

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    1. I remember those! Weasley sweaters are NEVER a good look. Not for peeps nor cats and that's a fact, for sure. purrs

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  17. Better stitches than britches. That's brilliant Nerissa! You makes us laff, even if the mom bean doesn't get it, MOL

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    1. Yup, you don't want peeps droppin' their britches. Leave stuff like that for cable TV. purrs

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  18. You crack me up Nissy. I think your slobber would improve the piece and give it character. I don't mind when my kitties help me with crocheting. That is nice of your mom to help Santa.

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    1. Yeah, I guess it is. I don't think Santa even pays her. MOUSES! purrs

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  19. We all like to steal and play with the yarn when our mom is knitting. We have messed up several things causing her to start over. Super fun. Only Lily Olivia likes to slobber on it. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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    1. It IS fun messin' up the peeps' knittin', isn't it? Hmmm... I wonder if I should find somethin' fun to do this afternoon... purrs

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  20. Oh, Nissy! That was a hair-razing experience, no doubt. To be deprived of wool-gathering and drooling to your heart's content... truly sadistic on the part of number 1 peep. Nickers not twisted but until what was being knitted was revealed Grammy snickered at the thought of Peep#1 knitting nickers... and relieved there wasn't a rehash of the Sir Fartsalot issue in a nickers episode.

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    1. Thank goodness the peep has never figured out how to knit around our tails, If she ever figured that out, we'd all be wearin' knitted knickers, for sure. MOUSES! purrs

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  21. My human does not knit anymore (or crochet, which she did even more often than knitting), but she was known to weave a hair strand or two into her creations. I would not mind if she went back to this, and wove some of my fur into something - I'd feel like I was contributing something!

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    1. Summer, your very presence is a contribution. Ask your human. I'm positive she will agree. purrs

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  22. And you didn't get video of the extraction?

    MOUSES!!!

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    1. Awww... MOUSES! Missed my chance. That would have been perfect for one of those funniest video shows, for sure. purrs

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  23. No knitting in this house, lol ! My poor cats not one wool ball to play with !

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    1. Not a single ball of wool? Awww.... purrs

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  24. MOL .. I do not slobber nor playing with yarn, Nissy, but I do understand that you have to leave your 'pawprints' on the knitting :D Tell your Peep 1 she always can start anew :D Pawkisses for a Happy slobbery Monday :) <3

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    1. I'm hopin' that as soon as she gets this failed nip mouse / scarfy thing done, she goes back to knittin' proper nip mice without holes. purrs

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  25. I hope you're going to win those new awards. You deserve it. Have a lovely week.

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    1. Thanks! Got my paws crossed. I made it to the finals for the MiB Awards so now it's in the paws of the jury. Hope those judges are enjoyin' my blog! purrs

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  26. My goodness.......I should think that ANYONE would love having some Nissy hair woven into any scarf, sweater or other item - in fact it should be considered a luxury item if it has kitty hair in with that boring old yarn! I think it's way cool that your Mom works with yarn - I wish my Mom did but she's got ZERO talent in that area I'm afraid......drawing? She can do that......Writing?......She can do that.......Knitting/Crocheting? DISASTER!

    Hugs, Sammy

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    1. I don't think my peep is all that great with the yarn. For example, this failed nip mouse of hers is all full of holes! She appears to have dropped stitches, EVERYWHERE. purrs

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  27. Your furs will add a definite flair to any knittin'

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    1. You know, the more I think about it, the more I have to agree. purrs

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  28. Thank goodness our Mum doesn't knit things as we're sure they would unravel as soon as she'd cast off!
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  29. Ah i'm sure that hair that got knitted into the sweater would have just given it that extra.....special something! BOLOLOL!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  30. Oh Nissy, slobber and yarn go together like nip and mice and bread and butter and tea and toast and.....well you get the picture. Your peep will learn with time. Hugs and Purrs ~Willy

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    1. I get the picture, for sure! Now if only the peep could learn this, too. purrs

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  31. We wanted to say we hope all goes well with your new brother's Stabby Place visit today. Pawhugs!

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    1. He's doin' well. Thank you! Peep #1 just spoke with the nurse and Anderson came through his neuterin' and dental with flyin' colours. He comes home later this afternoon. purrs

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  32. Don't be fretting. We think kitty spit makes everything better!
    Purrs,
    the kitty brats

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    1. And I like how you think! Yup, added value is what it is. Added value, for sure. purrs

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  33. What is it with those humans playing with yarn all the time?! Ours has been doing the exact same thing. She calls it crocheting, but it looks like play to us! Sampson especially tries to lend a hand (or mouth), but the Mom doesn't seem to like it. She complains of the wet yarn too. Geez louise…. they need to stop hogging all the yarn fun!

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    1. They seriously do. Our peeps have GOT to learn to share. MOUSES! purrs

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  34. Seriouslies, what's wrong with a little feline assistance? Knit one purl two, you think they can remember all that stuff on their OWN???

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    1. They do! They do need our assistance, for sure. Most of 'em can't count past ten. purrs

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  35. It's so funny that you wrote about this - and even funnier the way you wrote it. Mom hasn't crocheted in years but just yesterday she was saying she might start again so she can make us some nip mice. I really think she is planning on some nice warm scarves for herself now that we live where it is so much colder, but whatever, as long as we get nip mice. I wonder if she will be as stingy with her yarn.

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    1. The peeps DO tend to be stingy when it comes to yarn. They really ought to share. purrs

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  36. Yeah, yeah, we're just glad to hear your peep wasn't playing with butter! Geesh! The things you have to put up with over there. Purrs...

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  37. Yep Nissy yous just might be wesponsible fur da hair loss in yous peeper. Mommy sez dat meez gunna be da cause of hers hair turnin' gray and fallin' out. And let me tell ya' she loses it by da handfulls. MOL And hey, as fur those twisted knickers, meez bweed dusn't get mats. but unfurtunitely sumtimes fings do get caught in meez knickers me dusn't want there. MOL Hope yous all hav a pawsum week.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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    1. MOUSES! I can only IMAGINE what might be gettin' caught up in your knickers. purrs

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  38. Well, sweet Nissy we say a little cat slobber never hurt anybody or anything. Those slobbers are sweet! For sure that hair was not yours and we don't think you can be held responsible for that happening at all. Hugs and nose kisses

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    1. Yeah, if the peep is sheddin', that's all on her, you know? Well, her and her scarfy thing. purrs

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  39. My mom-person never play's with yarn :(
    But I bet that if she did she wouldn't want my assistans either !

    XOXO

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    1. And yet they so very much NEED our help. If only they would learn. MOUSES! purrs

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