Wednesday, 26 November 2014

all Sir Fartsalot's fault

What do you mean, I can't have any cream? But Peepers, tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  You're gonna be havin' cream. You're gonna be havin' pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top,  Why can't I have some, too?

What do you mean, tomorrow isn't Thanksgiving up here in Canada?  What do you mean, it's only Thanksgiving for our pals in the United States? What do you mean, we already celebrated Thanksgiving, last month?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Hmmm...

Okay Peepers, how 'bout this?  How about we celebrate Thanksgiving for a second time.  You know, 'cause so many of our pals are celebratin'.  Let's celebrate with 'em!  Nothin' wrong with having two Thanksgivings, I think.  Nothin' wrong with that, at all.  In fact, I think that bein' thankful for the life that we have is a good thing.  We're warm and safe and have our friends and each other. We're surrounded by love.  Bein' thankful for all that, twice, should be twice as good.  Right?

So now that that's settled, why don't you whip up an ol' pumpkin pie for tomorrow and we'll celebrate Thanksgiving for a second time, this year.  How 'bout it, Peepers?  You with me on this?

I'd like my pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream, minus the pie, please.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN CUT OFF FROM CREAM?  Awww...  MOUSES!

I thought for sure that Peep #1 would give me a little cream in celebration of Thanksgiving.

So there you have it, my friends, I've been cut off from the cream.  And do you know what?  It's all Sir Fartsalot's fault.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

So this is what happened...

It has been a long known fact that my marmie brothers, Seville and Rushton, are lactose intolerant. Neither one of 'em can touch a drop of anythin' dairy.  Not a drop.  Unfortunately, they both love the taste of dairy but the best the peeps can do for 'em is milky tastin' treats and whatnot.  From what they've told me, it's just not the same thing.

When my newest marmie brother, Anderson, came to live with us, Peep #1 figured he'd be lactose intolerant, too, and do you know what?  She was right.  The second peep gave him a smidgen of cream - against the wishes of the first peep - and the next thing we knew, Peep #2 had discovered a previously unknown source of renewable energy.  That's right, the cream gave my new brother gas.

The problem was, Anderson was hooked on the ol' cream the moment it passed his lips.  He wanted more and more of the stuff but Peep #1 put her paw down sayin', "No cream for Andy!"

Anderson was spendin' more and more time, gazing longingly at the refrigerator, hoping and praying that the peeps would relent and give him a drop of the cream but the peeps stood fast.  There was to be no cream for my marmie brother, Anderson.

Peep #1 went out and got some of the ol' cat milk.  Problem is, none of us really like the stuff...  except for Andy!  Now you'd think that would be a good thing, right?  'Cause Anderson would be happy gettin' cat milk while cats like me, every now and then, imbibed in a drop or two of the cream.

Normally, it would be a very good thing but Peep #2 was feelin' sorry for me while I watched Anderson down his saucer of cat milk, followed by mine.  So the second peep gave me a drop of cream.

Now let me tell you somethin'.  I, Nerissa the Cat, am eleven-and-a-half years old.  Durin' my eleven-and-a-half years, I have always been allowed to enjoy a little cream.  Never a lot.  Just a drop or two.  And only every now and then.  Never caused a problem.

But Peep #2 was feelin' sorry for me a little too much or somethin' and the next thing I knew, I was gettin' extra helpings of the cream.  This was all goin' on, unbeknownst to the first peep. Unbeknownst until...

Until the cream gave me gas.  MOUSES!

That's right, Peep #2 gave me way too much cream.  It all adds up, you see.  A drop here and a drop there, followed by a few more drops...  Long story short, Peep #2 gave me cream four times in one day.  What a peep.  What a way to ruin a good thing.  MOUSES!

Well I was not at all happy with the lack of cream and made my opinions known by settin' up camp in front of the refrigerator.  Peeps couldn't open the door without my pleadin' and beggin'.

That's when Peep #1 did some research and discovered that certain kinds of plain yogurt are low in lactose and the beneficial bacteria in 'em might actually help with lactose intolerance.  Even in cats. In fact, these types of yogurt are said to be perfectly fit for us cats.  Excellent.

So the first peep went shoppin'.  Home she came with not only the yogurt but also some chicken baby food.  I'm told that the baby food was the hardest thing to find.  For some reason, most of the chicken baby food on the market, 'round here, contains veggies and some of those veggies, like onions, aren't safe for us kitties.   The peep says it took her a long time to find the one and only variety of chicken that was veggie-free.

The peep mixed some of the chicken baby food in with a little yogurt.  I sniffed it.  I gave it a lick.  IT WAS YUMMY!  I devoured it in seconds.

Well...  that was a couple of weeks ago and suffice it to say, the novelty has worn off.

Oh sure, Anderson is still enjoying a steady supply of cat milk.  Anderson, who started this whole fiasco of the cream limitations with his lactose intolerance fartin'.  MOUSES!

Well the cat milk may be fine for Andy - hereby known as Sir Fartsalot - but what about me?  I have had to resort to, once again, beggin' and pleadin' by the refrigerator door, hoping against all hope that a peep will take pity upon me and give me a drop of cream. Just one drop.  That's all I ask!

But the peeps are both united on this front, now.  All ten of us cats have been cut off, cold turkey, from the cream.  Just wait 'til my sister, Tess, the butter fiend, finds out that butter is off the menu, too.  MOUSES!

                        ************************************************

And for all my American pals...   HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, surrounded by good friends and loving family and may you all, ALL, get to enjoy a drop or two of the cream.

74 comments:

  1. I really didn't know that cream caused gas, that could explain a lot!

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    1. Yup. That and some other stuff but we won't get into that. Icky. purrs

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  2. Oh dear Nissy,best you teleport to my place for christmas then we have christmas pudding and cream!xx Speedy

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    1. Sivvers! Prepare the teleportation device. I've got some visitin' to do. purrs

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  3. No BUTTER? No cream??!!?!?!? Horrendous! We feel your pain. Seriouslies.

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    1. I so totally agree. TOTALLY. purrs

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  4. We are in the same boat, especially the human, give him lactose and he may bloat lol

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  5. OMC Nissy dat's just not wight, not wight at all. And all cuz yous fawted. We just can't believ yous wuld be cut off. Weez not get cweam eever but it has more to do wiff da mommy not buyin' it we fink. And as fur Fanksgivin', we fink every[awdy shuld be celebwatin'. See weez not look at it da way ow countwy duz, we look at it as a day fur everyone to giv fanks fur their many blessings. Course we fink everyday is Fanksgivin'. So Happy Fanksgivin' to yous and yous furmily too Nissy.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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    1. Thank you Dezi and Lexi. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. purrs

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  6. I think it would be a wonderful idea for your family to celebrate Thanksgiving twice. And for you to at least get a drop of cream.

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    1. Me too, my friend. Me too. Still workin' on the peeps.

      Purrs,
      Nissy

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  7. Nissy, that is too bad that the cream causes you all to do a little farting. Maybe just a drop would be all right. Those are two pretty kitties that live with all of you. Hope you have a great day even if it isn't Thanksgiving at your house.

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    1. The pictures are of Anderson (AKA Sir Fartsalot) and Tess. Tess is the butter fiend. purrs

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  8. deer cod dood....yez, thiz izza nite mare...for ALL involved, noe pies, noe creem, noe BUTTER......thud...{ boomer just pazzed out } tell ewe what...we will sail up yur way at 18 hundred hours, ya can sneek a bored ship...ewe can sell a brate a BURD FREE thanx be giving with uz...loaded with creem AND butter & we can have everee one home by 18 hundred 30... N yur peepz will knot miss a thing !!

    happee week oh end guys...may de butter be with ewe ♥♥♥

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    1. Boomer, you okay? Wake up, buddy. SOMEONE GET THE SMELLIN' SALTS! purrs

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  9. HI Nissy.... it is nice to meet you. Now WE think that you SHOULD be able to Celebrate Thanksgiving TWICE... We are NEIGHBORS to your South so WE will just Invite you to Celebrate with us and have Turkey tomorrow along with US.
    SO.... we are wishing you HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

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    1. Be right over! I'll just need co-ordinates for teleportation. SIVVERS! Prepare the teleportation device. purrs

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  10. Well, you gotta give a bit of credit to your 'rents for trying to make everyone happy.

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    1. They do try. Yup, I've gotta give 'em that. purrs

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  11. You poor dudes...no cream....
    ***sigh***
    We need to our Mom what cream is and WHY we have never been offered any.
    Signed,
    the kitty brats

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    1. You've NEVER had cream? MOUSES! Perhaps some day you'll be able to try some. purrs

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  12. Replies
    1. Thanks! Top picture is of me and the other two are Andy & Tess. purrs

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  13. That seems terribly unfair for all of you to be cut off from such a delicacy due to one kitty's intolerance!

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  14. The humans here drink almond milk... so nobody, kitty or human, gets any cream around here.

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    1. Milk made from almonds? MOUSES! Exactly how do peeps milk almonds? purrs

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  15. No cream ? That's not fair ! Happy Thanksgiving though ! We wish you a wonderful day ! Purrs

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    1. That's what I think, too. Not fair at all. MOUSES! purrs

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  16. There's gotta be a black market for under-the-table cream...

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    1. I never thought of that! Gosh, I bet there is. I had better get to investigatin', huh? purrs

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  17. I never realised there were 10 of you before now! I am sorry you can't have any cream thanks to Sir Fartsalot. Mum thinks I am strange because I don't like cream or any human food except fish occasionally. With the cats who came before, she would put the cream carton down and it would be licked clean in seconds.
    I think you should have a second Thanksgiving, but think of us in Europe, we don't even get one.

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    1. But you have mice! Mice are just as nice as cream... purrs

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  18. If'n it means cream, whipped cream on top of ANYTHING at all, we should have a Thanksgiving day every month every place!
    Happy, happy to you all.

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    1. Thanksgiving every month? Oohhh... That would be wonderful. purrs

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  19. From all of us at Zee and Zoey’s we wish you and yours a blessed Thanksgiving!

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    1. Thank you! I sure do hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. purrs

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  20. Replies
    1. Thanks! Although we're not havin' it up here in Canada this month, I'm still super thankful for an awful lot of things. I'm very grateful. purrs

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  21. Oh Nissy that is a stinker! (literally too) We don't get milk or creme either but Mom does give me non-dairy whipped topping in a can because that is what she has to use to give Mazie her pills. Mazie has quit eating the pills in anything else. It is close and I like it so it is sort of a win-win. Not too much, just a dollop :) Happy Thankful for My friends day to you too Nissy!
    Marty

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    1. Cream in a can, huh? Sometimes, Peep #1 calls me Niss Wiss which always makes me think of CHEESE in a can. Never tried the cream. Hmmm.... purrs

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  22. Happy thanksgiving. My peeps better not cut me off from cream. I love ice CREAM XOXO Lucy

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    1. I've never tried ICE cream. Hmmm... I wonder if I can convince the peeps.... purrs

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  23. Typist has goats milk and cream as Cows gives her bad skin - not sure if that's an option for you guys??

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    1. I don't know! I should check that out, for sure. purrs

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  24. Ha! 2 Thanksgivings???? Sounds good to me!!!!
    I have had people wishing me a happy thanksgiving all day! I am Canadian silly's!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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    1. Yup, my peeps didn't go for the second Thanksgiving, either, but... But I'm gonna work on 'em for next year, for sure. purrs

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  25. Uh, Nissy, there's no cream here. But the Greek yogurt stuff is purrrfect!

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    1. That was the kind Peep #1 bought! Plain yogurt but it was definitely Greek. purrs

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  26. Bummer, Nissy! I loves me some whipped cream...but only the kind in the can. Don't even try to give me that stuff in a tub. And thank cod the cream doesn't give me gas. But the mom won't give me too much of it because she's afraid it might give me the runs! I think you ought to get to celebrate Thanksgiving with all us American kitties. ~Wally

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    1. Yeah, cream can do that, too. Peep #1 was worried 'bout the gas 'cause she figured it might hurt. Gotta convince that peep MY tummy can handle a drop or two of cream. purrs

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  27. NISSY! This is outrageous! CUT off and largely because of THEIR mistake in counting. NOT fair. Now Anderson, and three Marmies...can't beat that with a stick but no CREAM? (I don't mean Anderson) that's just not right.

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    1. I know! Peeps and their countin'. And they have those opposable thumbs for countin' and everythin'. What good are thumbs if not for counting? purrs

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  28. Pawkisses for a Happy Thanksgiving :) <3

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    1. And a very Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. purrs

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  29. Nissy, I just don't understand about this cat milk thing? The Staff gave me some once cos she thought I would, like, ya know, like it! It tasted like poop!!! It did, really! Like milky poop!! I think it's human invention cos they don't have anything better to do. Anyway farting is good for the ozone layer or something!!!

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    1. Yup, out of the ten of us, only Andy likes it. But to be honest, he likes it so much, it kind of evens out. purrs

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  30. I would give you a little cream Nissy.

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    1. You have some on paw? I can teleport on over in a jiffy! purrs

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  31. Oh, we are sorry you didn't get a second Thanksgiving with cream. That really is sad you've been cut off. Perhaps the peep that gave you too much could be cut off and you could have his share?

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    1. Hmmm... Now THAT'S a thought, for sure! purrs

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  32. Meowser Nerissa, it must get stinky around your house. We gets a little yoghurt once in awhile but we's never had cream. The mom bean weighs enough as it is, MOL

    Hope you gets your second Thanksgiving!
    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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    1. Peep #2 adds cream to oatmeal 'cause, you know, it would be way too healthy without it. purrs

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  33. Oh, that's just sad. No cream? No butter?? Not at all??? :(

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    1. Nope, not a drop. I'm hopin' to win Peep #1 over with the purrs, though. I'm gonna keep on tryin' until I can get some more cream. Determined is my middle name. purrs

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  34. Well now, Nissy. This blog is the cream of the crop. Grammy's still giggling, remembering the days of kitties who got cream and let loose the stinky, whistling farts - Almost as loud as the whistle at the Steel Plant. We've never had anything milk-like since coming off mother's milk as babies except the odd sneaky bit from Sweetie's KMR dish when she was only a few weeks old and not yet weaned.

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    1. 'Cream' of the crop... Love that! Hmmm... Crop? You think I could 'grow' myself some cream? Worth lookin' into, for sure. purrs

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  35. Hey, we've got drops of cream for the past couple of days and.... wait a minute! Miss Newton! That's why she's got the zoomies! Gas! Ugh. Cut us off, mom! Please! Purrs...

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    1. Has Miss Newton been havin' uh... um... EXTRA bursts of energy? purrs

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  36. wow! thank cat neither of us would touch cat milk if it was left out for a month! We don't like any milk products. Hope Sir Fartsalot is doin' better

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    1. Andy is still enjoyin' the cat milk. I'm still hopin' for a drop of cream. purrs

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  37. Life can be …. horible.
    No cream ! I love cream. I love everything made with milk.
    Your peeps are really being unfair. With 10 cats.. If all of you cannot eat something because one of you is allergic … one day they will give you just plain cat’s food.
    Ronrons
    Hisia

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    1. I know! I KNOW! Totally unfair, for sure. MOUSES! purrs

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