Sunday, 5 October 2014

stuck in my craw

I was watchin' the news, the other day, as I often do with my peeps.  I'm always on the lookout for a topic about which to blog, you see.

Anywho...  I was watchin' the news, when a man on that news, said he had somethin' stuck in his craw.  Yup, that's exactly what he said.

Now to be honest, I'm not sure who the man was. Nor do I remember about what he was talkin'.  But I have a funny feelin' it was somethin' kind of important.  Somethin' I should be rememberin'.  Somethin' blogworthy, for sure.

I really should have whipped out the ol' notebook and written down all the necessary information.  All the information necessary for me to write a scathing blog post...

Scratch that.  I don't use a notebook.  It's the lack of opposable thumbs, you see.  Hard to hold a pencil.

I really should have whipped out the ol' laptop and typed - which a kitty without opposable thumbs can do - in all the necessary information.  All the information necessary for me to write a scathing blog post but I'm afraid I had somethin' else on my mind.  That's right, my mind was otherwise occupied.

Was it nip?  Was it nip that was otherwise occupyin' my mind?  Believe it or not, no.  It was somethin' else...  THIS time.

When I heard this man sayin' he had somethin' stuck in his craw, all I could think of was cryin' for help.  "MEDIC!" I called.  "Get that man a medic!  He's got somethin' nasty stuck in his craw!!!"

The peeps, of course, ignored me.

I couldn't believe that no one was gettin' the man, on the news, any help.  I couldn't believe they were ignorin' his cries.  Surely someone should be performin' the Heimlich or somethin'.  Surely someone should be over there, helpin' him, pronto.

Apparently, no one cared.

I wondered if Seville and Rushton could teleport on over.  Weighin' in at well over thirty pounds between the two of 'em, if they were both to rush the man and jump onto his chest at the same time, surely they could dislodge whatever it was that was stuck in his craw.  Unstick his craw, allowin' him to breath, once more.

Of course, that would require cooperation on the part of Rushton and Seville and truth be told, at my house, it's a well known fact that marmies don't cooperate.  At least not with one another.

So again I cried, "MEDIC!" to the peeps.  And again I was ignored.

I ran to the kitchen phone, prepared to dial 911 but then I realised, I didn't know the man's name or where he was.  To where should I send the paramedics?

So I ran back into the family room, intent of obtainin' the necessary information so that I could help the poor man with whatever it was, sticking in his craw.  So that I would know where the paramedics needed to be sent.

I stared at the television.  The man was gone.  He was no more.

No need to worry, however.  He hadn't expired or anythin'.  The news had just moved onto somethin' else.  Somethin' silly.  Somethin' about somethin' of which I had absolutely no interest.  MOUSES!

That's when Peep #1 told me that havin' somethin' stuck in one's craw was nothin' more than an expression.

And that's when I told the peep, "WHAT A STUPID EXPRESSION!"  I mean, seriously...  gettin' me all worked up and worried like that over nothin'.  MOUSES!

Stuck in his craw...  STUCK IN HIS CRAW!  I'll give him somethin' to stick in his craw and believe-you-me, it won't be so easy to get out as whatever had been previously stuck in there.  I'm thinkin'... hairball.  I'm thinkin' about the biggest hairball the world has ever seen.  Stick that in your craw, mister, and don't you ever make me panic over nothin', again.

So I looked up craw in the dictionary.  Yup, I looked it up in my trusty, three-volume, master dictionary that contains just about every word known to peep and cat in the English language except those invented by me.  Words like MOUSES! that pass the Blogger and Facebook spell checks but have yet to be found in my master, three-volume dictionary.  MOUSES! I say.  MOUSES!

But let me tell you somethin', if anyone was ever entitled to have somethin' stuck in their craw, it would be me.

Firstly, I was bein' reminded that my word, MOUSES!, is not yet in the dictionary and secondly, I was still annoyed 'bout bein' so worried - NEEDLESSLY - 'bout the man I thought was in need of a medic.

Craw...  Craw...  Craw?  MOUSES!  It's a part of a bird's throat or somethin'.  A part of a bird's throat where said bird can store food.  And there I was thinkin' it had somethin' to do with fish.

Of course, the peeps had known all along what a craw was.  Sure would have been nice had they told me earlier.  Told me before I had gotten myself all worked up 'bout the man who didn't need any help and before I started lookin' through my three-volume dictionary that is incredibly heavy and difficult to leaf through for a twelve or thirteen pound cat.

And what's so bad 'bout havin' someplace to store extra food?  It may not be somethin' I wanna have, personally, but for birds, it seems to work except, of course, when it's all stuck up.

My thoughts drifted back to the man with the stuck-up craw.  Hmmm...  Now what was it he had been talkin' about when he got himself all stuck?  Was it really somethin' important?  I couldn't remember at all.  MOUSES!

I had the sneakin' suspicion that I was missin' a newsworthy topic for my blog and I wasn't happy 'bout that at all.  Apparently, I had gotten myself all worked up with worry for NOTHIN'. I was not a happy kitty.

Just goes to show you, stickin' things in craws and gettin' them stuck in there is a profoundly foolish thing to do.  Clearly, any expression expressin' such utter foolishness must be profoundly foolish, itself.  Especially when that expression goes and fools a wise and knowledgeable kitty like me.  Or should that be I?  Hmmm...

Of course, it could have been worse.  It could have been far, far worse.  I could have sent Rushton and Seville teleportin' off to who-knows-where, tryin' to unstick the man's craw by jumpin' on his chest.  Or I could have actually dialed 911, tryin' to send the paramedics off to who-knows-where in order for them to unstick that ol' man's craw that apparently was all stuck up with somethin' nasty but not life-threatenin', at all.

Thankfully, I didn't get around to doin' any of that.  Thankfully, the only ones out there who will ever know that I was tricked and deceived by a silly and ridiculous expression 'bout parts of birds' throats, are my peeps and me.  A little secret I think I shall keep to myself.

Awww...  I just realized somethin'.  By bloggin' about this, I have inadvertently told the whole wide world 'bout my bein' fooled by a stupid expression.

MOUSES!  Yup, it's a mouses moment, for sure.

36 comments:

  1. Shame on that guy for getting you all upset over an expression!

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  2. Well now we all know what a craw is and that things can get stuck there. That was nice of you to think about saving that poor person or animal that something stuck in their craw. Have a super Sunday.

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  3. Yep Nissy hoomans do hav sum vewy silly sayins dat's fur suwe. Weez not know where in da world they get sum of 'em. Meez mommy has lived all ovew so hers uses sum weally cwazy ones sumtimes cuz she mixes da souff and da norff evewy once in a while. And OMC yous shuld hear those. MOL Sowwy yous got all worked up fur nuffin, but least yous got a little exercise. Wight? MOL

    Luv ya'

    Dezi

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  4. Did the dude even have any wings?
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxx

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  5. Ha ha - now the whole world knows pal. It's still a stupid expression, but then the silly humans have lots of silly, dumb expressions.

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  6. You is a furry nice kitty to worry about some silly bean who didn't even have a craw to get stuff stuck in. We hopes he does have a kitty who gives him a big, wet, hairball!

    Sasha, Sami, & Saku

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  7. Don't worry, Nerissa, we won't tell a soul.

    Psst. Hurry, Percy, are you finished copying and pasting yet?*

    Not to worry, Nissy, your secret is safe with us.

    Are you all thumbs, Percy? What's holding this up? We've got to get this word out before CNN picks up on this story.

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  8. Nissy, Nissy, Nissy! You sure are a very soft hearted kitty that you want to help that man with the craw thing!! I hope he survived the operation to remove the stick!! Sounds nasty!!! ;) xox

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  9. Hey, it's cool! We have all been there. It's the fault of the hoomins, it really is.

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  10. Humans say some pretty silly things sometimes, don't they?

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  11. Don't feel bad pal, stupid expressions just seem to follow humans around!

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  12. Humans and their stupid words, maybe his craw will get raw, you think? lol

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  13. That's OK Nissy, you were great to care about what happened to that silly human. Shake it off, wouldn't want you to get a hairball over it!

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  14. Nice selfies,all of you. I agree that is a dumb expression. http://5andmeowing.com

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  15. BOL! Well that was certainly interesting! BOLOLOL!!!
    ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

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  16. That is a weird expression for humans to use about themselves. They are so confusing!

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  17. Well, the fact that you wanted to help that man shows you are a kind kitty. In hindsight, it would have been funny to see those big marmies try and unstick his craw.

    p.s. Nissy, I love that picture of you!

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  18. That expression sure was one of the stoopidiest I ever heard and it´s mouses that mouses not yet is in the dictionary !!

    XOXO

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  19. Humans say the darndest things, don't they?

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  20. That IS very confusing. But I give you two paws up for (almost) leaping into action to save that silly man.

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  21. But you have proven that you have a heart of gold - to go to all that trouble for a stranger. If the world had more yous it would be such a lovely place to live!

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  22. Nissy hoomans can be dumb bunnies can't they?

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  23. That is a very strange expression indeed! Nissy, these humans...

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  24. I don't know, Nissy, but that craw thing must have been quite exhausting after all :D Pawkisses :)

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  25. No need to be embarrassed, Nissy. We have never heard that expression either. What a strange one. We won't tell anyone though!

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  26. Well, now sweet Nissy we are wondering how that man could have something stuck in his craw if he is not a bird. Is he a man that is part bird and has a craw? Now what a silly thing is that? You sure did a good job checking up on that craw business and informing all of us. Hugs and nose kisses

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  27. Some human expressions are just the weirdest every Nissy! I mean why stick something in your craw in the first place eh? I am glad the guy was OK though, and you are the best pal to actually care!

    Silver

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  28. Nissy, you are such an awesome kitty to be concerned and wanting to help theese guy out...we have never heard of this expression before!

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  29. Ummmm...and you would consider taking that silly expression as for real because......just wonder in' how much nip Nanner you had before you heard that saying...na'mean?

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  30. Hi Nerissa, I just love your blog. And, yes I have heard that expression and it makes no sense to me either. lol Keep blogging...my cat friend.

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    1. And I love peeps like you. Thank you ever-so-much for visitin'. purrs

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  31. I saw a mousie once. I made it skeered and it runned away.

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  32. Hi my supurr wunderpurr pal, well I must say that that I've neffur had anything stuck in my craw!!! MOL But I do agree that MOUSES should be in the dictionary! Purrs Basil xox

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  33. Peeps come out with the silliest expressions Nissy,xx Speedy

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